NeahAllenWalker
 Author has written 5 stories for D.Gray-Man, and Frozen. Your real name: Desiree Age: 15 Gender: Girl FAVOURITE Cartoon: The Secret Saturdays DO YOU CAN YOU HAVE YOU EVER MISCELLANEOUS If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile and add your name to this list: Danyan, Avatarwolf, Shifter-youkai, AkatsukiFan, Chocolate Chan, Staring.out.my.flooded.window, Bloodied Sand, PhAnToM SpEaKeRv, Deidara and Toshiros property, Lina-Neko, Gaara's-Bloody-Panda, LadyMimi101, Will of The Abyss - AllenxRoad, NeahAllenWalker Favorite D. Gray-man quotes Cross : "A path is something you create as you walk it. The ground you've trodden hardens, and that's what forms your path. You're the only one who can create your own path." (this is Cross's only inspirational quote!) Allen: "No matter what happens I'll keep on moving. Until this life runs out of me I'll keep on walking, because that is my promise to Mana." Allen: "No matter how faint our hopes our, even if we don't have anything we can rely on...I will NEVER give up!" Cross: "Oi! You! You're in the presence of a beautiful being! Filthy things shouldn't get near me!" Cross: "Lets overlook everything you did to the members of the Order...I'm not that cruel of a man after all. But then you went and messed up my clothes." Bookman: "War is sorrowful. The flames of war burn away life and dreams and bonds, leaving behind countless sorrows. So sorrow gives birth to tragedy. And tragedy gives birth to Akuma." Allen aka the 14th: " It's just as you say . I wanted to tell you, that I'd come back . I knew you'd come for me , Brother ... This time , I will kill you . I will kill you and become the Millenium Earl !! Allen who came back from the 14th: I don't want that! Listen up Earl. And "the 14th too". I'm Allen, an exorcist! And I'd die before becoming anything else!! Quit taking out your brotherly fight on other people! It's a nuisance!! Kanda - You fake gentleman! Allen - Well my master's a faker! Tyki (to Kanda)- Kitchen Knife-kun Lavi : I do kind of understand. I was disappointed in humans. In the world they are were always arguing. I thought I was different from them. Tell me do you know why bookmen exist ? Why is it that humans fail to bring an end to the war ? I'm supposed to be you, All 48th, and you the 49th are but a single "Me". You are the one that's asking, You are the one that changed, You are the one who should go, You are the one who really wanted the answer. Kanda: Who the heck is that? Earl: What did you say? Kanda: "Who the heck is that?" (Wisely points to Alma) Kanda: I asked who that is. (everyone makes a funny face..) Kanda to Alma: You creep me out! Always following me like a stalker! Die! You little XXXXX! Kanda thinking about Alma: This world is dark and it's so hard to breathe... but in this instant, when i laughed along with you, I felt that breathing just got a little more easier. Lavi: The only home that a man should ever need is within his heart. Allen: Geez talk about corny. Well, this quote was said by Road and it's pretty dang awesome: Kanda: "You're naive. We're destroyers, not saviors." Allen: "Kanda, although what you said is true, I want to become a destroyer who can save." "Because I am a small man, my heart is moved by what’s in front of my eyes, not by what the world needs. I just can’t abandon what’s there in front of me. I want to protect everything I can!" - Allen Rephrased: Allen: "I'm glad you're alive Kanda, but why are you wearing the Order's colors?! Why are you throwing away your hand-won freedom?!" If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this onto your profile If you have ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this into your profile If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile. If you're addicted to pocky, copy and paste this to your profile. If you have a scary crush on a book, anime or game character then copy this into your profile. REASONS TO JOIN THE DARK SIDE (If you wish to join add this list to your profile): Now for some fun stuff! :) When life gives you lemons... throw them at the idiot who thought they would help. If the opposite of pro is con, then what's the opposite of Progress? Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home. If you are born ugly blame your parents, but if you died ugly, blame your doctor. Diplomacy - the art of letting someone have their way. Every morning is the dawn of a new error. How come we have to choose from just 2 persons for president, and 50 for Miss America? Ninety-nine percent of all lawyers give the rest a bad name. There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count and those who can't. Why is "abbreviation" such a long word? Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change. Proofread carefully to see if you any words out. If at first you DO succeed, try not to look astonished! If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too? If I want your opinion, I'll ask you to fill out the necessary forms. Don't look back, they might be gaining on you. It's not hard to meet expenses, they're everywhere. Demons are a Ghouls best Friend. Department of Redundancy Department. Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are. Press any key... no, no, no, NOT THAT ONE! I was born intelligent - education ruined me. Money is not the only thing, it's everything. A psychiatrist is a person who will give you expensive answers that your wife will give you for free. Optimists think the glass is half full. Pessimists think the glass is half empty. Realists know that someone will have to wash the glass Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together. When you wish upon a shooting star, all your dreams will come true. Unless the star is really a meteor about to destroy the earth. Then, you’re pretty much dead no matter what you wish for. Unless it’s death by meteor. An optimist is someone who falls off the Empire State Building, and after 50 floors says, "So far so good!" If you wish to live wisely, ignore sayings including this one. I think we consider too much the good luck of the early bird and not enough the bad luck of the early worm. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments. Just because you're not paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you. You can find tea in a tea cup... but cannot find world in a world cup. I don’t suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it. I don't suffer from stress. I'm a carrier. I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once. Do you know what I hate? I hate rhetorical questions. I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... not screaming like his passengers. Politics: From the Greek "poli" meaning "many", and "tics" meaning blood-sucking parasite. Before you borrow money from a friend, decide which you need more. Out of my mind…Back in five minutes. Add "The" to "IRS" and you get "THEIRS." Where there’s a will… I want to be on it. All men are idiots. I married their king. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list. If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong. Batteries are the most melodramatic inamimate object. They don't just run out... THEY DIE! If it weren't for physics and law enforcement... I'd be unstoppable! To be or not to be... technically that's not really a question. You're a great friend. But if we're ever being chased by zombies, I'm tripping you. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of Jury duty. Only crazy people can understand the brilliance of crazy things. If you are crazy and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile! If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile. If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile. What happens if you get scared half to death twice? Do the English people eat English muffins, or are they just called muffins? Age is a very high price to pay for maturity. Ham and Eggs: A day's work for a chicken; A lifetime commitment for a pig. Practice makes perfect...But nobody's perfect...so why practice? Always laugh when you can. It is cheapest medicine. If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side. When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane. You know the speed of light, so what's the speed of dark? A day without sunshine is like, well, night. If you can’t live without me, why aren’t you dead yet? Love your enemies. It'll make 'em crazy. Silence is golden but duck tape is silver. If life is a bowl of cherries, why am I stuck with the pits? Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you. What do we want? TIME TRAVEL! When do we want it? DOESN'T MATTER! You can use both idiots and scissors, but you can't let an idiot use scissors. -Sebastian Michaelis Anime is Life. Manga is life. Life is good. Parents suck for not buying you more life. If you agree, copy and paste this to your profile. If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile If you ever pushed on a door that said "Pull" copy this into your profile. If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile. If you and your friends have a nickname, title, or anything else for each other, copy and paste this in your profile. There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile. If you ever copy and pasted something onto your profile, copy an paste this onto your profile. If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile. If you are an absolute anime freak then copy and paste this onto your profile. I want Child Abuse to stop and if you do too, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever walked into a room then forgot what you were doing, then started walking away and remembered copy this into your profile. It's not a comic book, it's "Manga" It's not a cartoon, it's "Anime" It's not homosexual, it's "Yaoi" It's not lesbian, it's "Yuri" It's not erotic, it's "Ecchi" It's not pedophile, it's "Lolicon" It's not gay, it's "Shonen-ai" It's not slutty, it's "Fan Service" It's not a costume, it's "Cosplay" It's not a dating show, it's a "Harem" It's not a fetish, it's "Moe" It's not a bipolar girl, it's "Tsundere" It's not a drawing, it's "Doujinshi" It's not schizophrenic girl, it's "Yandere" It's not Chinese, it's "Japanese" It's not Chinese animation, it's "Japanimation" And most Importantly... I'm not a geek, I'm an "Otaku." If you are a Proud Otaku, like me, copy this and post it on your wall. 1.YOUR REAL NAME: Desiree 2. YOUR GANGSTA NAME (first 3 letters of real name plus -izzle): Desizzle 3. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME (fave color and fave animal): Violet Rat 4. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME (middle name, and current street name): Kuraki Rebekah 5. YOUR STAR WARS NAME (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name, last 3 letters of your mom's maiden name): Kurdeack 6. YOUR SUPERHERO NAME (2nd favorite color, favorite drink): Silver Cola 7. YOUR WITNESS PROTECTION NAME (mother’s middle name): Evelyn 8. YOUR GOTH NAME (black, and the name of one your pets): Black Lily What 2 DO WHEN YOU'RE BORED!! 1. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals. 2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms. 3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, " 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens. 4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away. 5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. 6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department. 7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?" 8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose. 9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are. 10. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme song. 11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels. 12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!" 13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream.. "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!" 14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here! 15. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "Pikachu, I choose you!" 16. Fill water ballons up with jello & throw them at high school kids 17. Spit off a bridge over passing traffic 18. When someone taps you on the shoulder, sway and fall over, dead Repost this if you laughed... Or are planning to do any of these things. Annoying Things To Do On An Elevator 1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in there?" 2) STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off. 3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves. 4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral. 5) MEOW occasionally. 6) STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM" - and back away slowly 7) SAY -DING at each floor. 8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the red buttons. 9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button. 10) STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on." 11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?" 12) TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone. 13) DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space." 14) WHEN there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you. 15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more. 16) ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones. 17) HOLD the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?" 18) DROP a pen and wail until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!" 19) BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift. 20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers. 21) SWAT at flies that don't exist 22) CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it. 23. Make car race noises when someone gets on or off. 24. Congratulate all for being in the same lift with you. 25. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, all of you just shut UP!" 26. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side. 27. While the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper, "Hide it...quick!" then whistle innocently. 28. Let your cell phone ring - don't answer it. 29. Walk into the lift and say "This reminds me of being buried alive. Ah, those were the days..." 30. Take shoes off before entering. Then look shocked and disgusted when the others don't. 31. Ask people which floor they want, say in 'Who want to be a millionaire' style is that your final answer. 32. Also in your bellboy act, ask what floor they want. Whatever they say, give them a glare and say "you should be ashamed of yourself!", and leave the lift tutting. 33. Ask, "Did you feel that?" 34. Tell people that you can see their aura. 35. When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay. Don't panic, they open up again." 36. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body." 37. Dress up in a long, black cloak with a hood, stare and in a deep voice announce "It is time... 20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity 1. At Lunch Time , Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down. 2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice. 3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that. 4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label it " In". 5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso. 6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks , Write "For Smuggling Diamonds". 7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy". 8. Don't use any punctuation. 9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk. 10. Order a Diet Water when ever you go out to eat, with a serious face. 11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go". 12. Sing Along At The Opera. 13. Go To A Poetry Recital. And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme? 14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day. 15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In the Mood. 16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom. 17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won! I Won!" 18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!" 19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go." 20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity... Copy and paste to your profile to let others read and enjoy! In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual labels on consumer goods: On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. ( that's the only time I have to work on my hair). On a bag of Fritos! ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)? On a bar o f Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how?...) On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion). On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)! On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought?...) On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?) On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.) On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and.. .I'm taking this because?...) On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?) On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.) On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash) On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?) On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.) On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands." (...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?) All the different lines Minerva McGonagall has made students write: "If Death Eaters are attacking Hogsmeade I will not point at the sky and shout TO THE BAT MOBILE!" "I will not tell everyone that I overheard my sister saying, 'So I was like, 'Avada Kadavra!' and he was like, 'Dead.' " "I will not ask Harry if his scar senses are tingling." "I will not call Draco Malfoy the amazing...bouncing...Ferret." "Remus Lupin does NOT want a flea collar!" "I am not authorized to negotiate a peace treaty with Voldemort." "I will not make any jokes about Lupin and his time of the month." "I will not say 'dude, get a life' to the Dark Lord." "I will not ask Professor Snape why he stole Batman's cape." "I will not scare the Arithmancy students with my calculus book." "I will not spread rumors saying, 'When Voldemort goes to bed he checks his closet for Mrs. Weasley.' " "I will not tell Penelope Clearwater that Percy wouldn't recognize a joke if it dances naked in front of him wearing Dobby's tea cozy." "I will not sing "We're off to see the wizard!" when sent to the headmasters office." "I will not send You-Know-Who a letter saying, 'I have eight Horcruxes, take that Voldy!' " "Professor Flitwick's name is not Yoda." "I will not bring a magic eight ball to Divination class" "If a classmate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of the situation and draw a Dark Mark on their arm." "I am not allowed to make lightsaber sounds with my wand." "I am not allowed to introduce Peeves to paintballing." "I will not follow potions instructions in reverse order just to see what happens." "I will not give Hagrid Pokemon cards and convince him that they are real animals." "I will not dress up as Voldemort for Halloween" "I will not teach the house-elves to impersonate Paris Hilton." "I will not tell Hermione to S.P.E.W again" ()() This is bunny copy him onto your profile to help him achieve world domination. Come join the dark side. (We have cookies) Girls Don't Realize These Things I'm sorry that I bought you roses to tell you that I like you I'm sorry That I was raised with respect not to sleep with you when you were drunk I'm sorry That my body's not ripped enough to "satisfy" your wants I'm sorry that I open your car door, and pull out your chair like I was raised I'm sorry That I'm not cute enough to be "your guy" I'm sorry That I am actually nice; not a jerk I'm sorry I don't have a huge bank account to buy you expensive things I'm sorry I like to spend quality nights at home cuddling with you, instead of at a club I'm sorry I would rather make love to you then just screw you like some random guy. I'm sorry That I am always the one you need to talk to, but never good enough to date I'm sorry That I always held your hair back when you threw up, and didn't get mad at you for puking in my car, but when we went out you went home with another guy I'm sorry That I am there to pick you up at 4am when your new man hit you and dropped you off in the middle of nowhere, but not good enough to listen to me when I need a friend I'm sorry If I start not being there because it hurts being used as a door mat, only to be thrown to the side when the new jerk comes around I'm sorry If I don't answer my phone anymore when you call, to listen to you cry for hours, instead of getting a couple hours of sleep before work I'm sorry that you can't realize.. I've been the one all along. I'm sorry If you read this and know somebody like this but don't care But most of all I'm sorry For not being sorry anymore I'm sorry That you can't accept me for who I am I'm sorry I can never do anything right, and nothing that I do is good enough to make it in your world. I'm sorry I caught your boyfriend with another girl and told you about it, I thought that was what friends were for... I'm sorry That I told you I loved you and actually meant it. I'm sorry That I talked to you for nine hours on Thanksgiving when your boyfriend was threatening you instead of spending time with my family. I'm Sorry That I cared I'm sorry that I listen to you at night talking about how you wish you could have done something different. Ladies always complain and gripe to their friends that there is never any good guys out there, and they always end up with assholes who mistreat them. Well ladies, next time you're complaining, maybe look up to see who you're complaining to, maybe that special someone is right there hanging on your every word as usual, screaming in his head "Why won't you give me a chance?" Because the person you are usually searching for is right by you. If you're a guy and you agree with this letter, copy and paste into your profile as 'I'm sorry' If You're one of the FEW girls with enough BALLS to copy and paste this into your profile, and you would never make your guy feel this way, copy and paste into your profile as 'Girls Don't Realize These Things' Dream big dreams, because little dreams have no magic. Ooooo...a life. Where can I download one? I apologize, do you want me to mean it too? If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill themselves, is it considered a hostage situation? "The dinosaurs extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide." "Doctors say I have multiple personality disorder. We disagree with that." You know you need a boyfriend when cartoon characters start looking amazingly HOT! Fake is the new trend. I guess everyone’s in style. So what I’ve got a smile on, but it’s hiding the quiet superstitions in my head. I didn’t say that it was your fault…I said I was going to blame you. I love my computer, because my friends live in it. I'm the person your mother warned you about If you have noticed this notice you will have noticed that this notice is not worth noticing I hear voices, and they don't like you. One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject Stand for something, or you'll fall for anything. When life gives you lemons, smash 'em with a mallet and scream "IS THAT ALL YOU GOT?!" Boys are like trees-they take 50 years to grow up. I'm not so good at advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment? It's always the last place you look...of course it is, why the hell would I keep looking after I found it? You know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor. If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving is not for you. At my lemonade stand I used to give away the first glass for free, and charge five dollars for the refill. It contained the antidote. (LOL THIS IS FUNNY:)) I’m not clumsy…the floor just hates me. An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed. Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES! I smile because I have no idea what's going on! Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you're up to 95% of teens would cry if they saw the Jonas Brothers at the top of a skyscraper about to jump. Copy and paste this if you are part of the 5% that would sit there with popcorn and a camera and yell "DO A FLIP!!! 92% Of the teen population would be dead if Edward Cullen said it wasn't cool to breathe anymore! Repost this if you are one of the 8% who would be laughing your head off! If Justin Bieber shaved his head bald, 95% of girls would cry. Copy and paste this if you are the 5% running up and down the street screaming YES!!!!!!!!!!!! 98% of Girls would cry if Justin Bieber disappeared off the face of the Earth. Post this on your page if you are one of the 2% that would run around the house screaming: "Yay! I'll never have to hear his irritating voice ever again!" 90 percent of teens would have a breakdown if Miley Cyrus was standing on the edge of a 6 story building. Copy and paste this if you'd be one of the 10 percent yelling jump bitch! You see a kid abusing a puppy with a baseball bat. 97% of people would yell "STOP!" 2% of them would cheer, 1% of them would take the baseball bat and hit the kid then take the puppy to the Vet. Post this on you profile if you are that 1%... When you call us BITCHES we just look at each other and crack up, because we knew that WAAAAAAAAAAY BEFORE YOU DID! WHAT A KISS MEANS Kiss on the stomach = "I'm ready" Kiss on the Forehead = "I hope we're together forever" Kiss on the Ear = "You're my everything" Kiss on the Cheek = "We're friends" Kiss on the Hand = "I adore you" Kiss on the Neck = "we belong together" Kiss on the Shoulder = "I want you" Kiss on the Lips = "I love you" What the gesture means... Holding Hands = "we definitely love each other" Slap on the Butt = "That's mine" Holding on tight = "I don't want to let go" Looking into each other's Eyes = "I just plain love you" Playing with Hair = "Tell me you love me" Arms around the Waist = "I love you too much to let go" Laughing while Kissing = "I am completely comfortable with you" picking someone up off their feet = "that they love them fully and would do anything for them" Friends & Best Friends FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr/Mrs. REAL FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD/MOM. FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong. REAL FRIENDS: Will sit next to you saying “Damn … we fucked up … but that shit was fun!” FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry. REAL FRIENDS: Won't tell anyone else you cry... just laugh about it when you're not down anymore. FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Try to half-ass comfort you when you feel down. REAL FRIENDS: Grab you by the shoulders, shake you, and say "Bitch, snap out of it!" FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back. REAL FRIENDS: Keep your shit so long they forget its yours. FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Always keep your stuff they borrowed in perfect condition. REAL FRIENDS: Lose your shit and tell you, "My bad ... here's a tissue." FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink because they think it's polite. REAL FRIENDS: Raise an eyebrow and say "Bitch, I'll eat what I want" and are the reason you never have food. FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Know a few things about you. REAL FRIENDS: Can write a very embarrassing book about you, with direct quotes from you. FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. REAL FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you. FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will knock on your front door. REAL FRIENDS: Walk right in and say “I’M HOME!” FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Ask you what you number is. REAL FRIENDS: Remind you what you number is when you forget. FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Are for awhile. REAL FRIENDS: Are for life. FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Have to be reminded not to tell. REAL FRIENDS: Would willingly go skinny-dipping in a tank of acid before they even consider telling. FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will take your drink away when they think you’ve had enough. REAL FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say “Bitch, drink the rest of that, you know we don’t waste.” FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will offer to pay when you have a drink. REAL FRIENDS: Will laugh and say "Pay my ass! You'll pay for mine, bitch!" FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Don't let friends drive drunk. REAL FRIENDS: Don't let friends drive drunk alone. FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will apologize when you forget lunch money and say that they don't have any left. REAL FRIENDS: Will say "Sucks for you" and finally cave after a few hours and then say "You owe me for this, you fatass." FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will smile and say "Don't worry about me" when they forget their lunch money, even if you didn't offer to pay. REAL FRIENDS: Will say "Bitch, I'm a fatass and I'm starving, now buy me some damn food." FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will automatically tell you you're beautiful when you ask if something makes you look fat. REAL FRIENDS: Will say "Well no shit, sherlock." FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Would tell you not to get a face-lift because you already look perfect. REAL FRIENDS: Would say "Face-lift? I don't think a fork-lift would help." FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Tell you your zits aren't noticeable. REAL FRIENDS: Say "Damn, girl! That thing is HUGE!!" FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Laugh with you. REAL FRIENDS: Laugh at you. FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Laugh at all your jokes. REAL FRIENDS: Tell you your jokes suck. FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Congratulate you when you get good grades. REAL FRIENDS: Say "Jeez, you nerd. If you were in stupid classes like me, we'd see each other more." FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Encourage you not to skip school. REAL FRIENDS: Photoshop one of their old doctor's notes and use it to spring you from school. FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will talk shit to the person who talks shit about you. REAL FRIENDS: Will knock them the fuck out! FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Say they are too busy to listen to your problems, but when it comes to them they expect you to have all the time in the world. REAL FRIENDS: Not only kick everything out of their schedule to listen to what's wrong, but help come up with vindictive plans to make you feel a whole lot better! FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Say sorry when you want to talk to them at odd hours of the night, or even just hang out at odd hours. REAL FRIENDS: Come right over and hang out with you, until you either fall asleep, or kick them out. FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will glare at the guy who dumps you and say "Forget him. You're too good for him." REAL FRIENDS: Kick the guy's ass and threaten to castrate him with a spork if he comes within five miles of you. FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Crush on your older brother whom you absolutely despise. REAL FRIENDS: Hate you older brother as much as you do and give him the nick-name "Faggot". FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will ignore this. REAL FRIENDS: Will repost it FRIENDS: Will hold the umbrella for you. BEST FRIENDS: Take yours and say 'RUN BITCH RUN!' I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic. Things I Am Not To Do At Hogwarts The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball. I am not allowed to sing, "We're Off to See the Wizard" while skipping off to the Headmaster's office. I am not allowed to take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter. I am not allowed to ask Dumbledore to show you the pointy hat trick. I am not allowed to give Remus Lupin a flea collar. I am not allowed to bring a Magic 8 Ball to Divination. I will not say that Seamus Finnegan is "After my Lucky Charms." I will not start a betting pool on this year’s Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. It's taste-less, tacky, and not a good money-making strategy. I will not joke about Remus Lupin’s "Time of the month." I will not make light saber sounds with my wand. I will not to give Hagrid Pokémon cards and convince him they're real animals. I will not to refer to the Accio charm as "The Force." I will not use my socks to make hand-puppets of the Slytherin-House mascot I will not use spells if the thought of it makes me giggle for more than 15 seconds.I will not lock the Slytherin's and Gryffindor's in a room together and bet on which House will come out alive. I will not charm the suits of armor to do a rendition of "The Knights of the Round Table" for the Christmas Feast. I am not allowed to declare an official "Hug a Slytherin Day." I will sing my own personal spy music while wandering the hallways. I will not yell, "BURN!" whenever Snape takes points away from Gryffindor. I will not say the phrase, "Get a Life" to Voldemort. I will not feed 1st years to Fluffy. I will not ask Harry if his Voldie senses are tingling. I will not yell, "BAM" every time I Apparate. I will not steal Gryffindor sword from Dumbledore's office and use it to patrol the hallways I will not insist that the Hufflepuff’s colors indicate that they're "covered in bees." I will not take "I've heard every joke possible about Oliver Wood's name" as a challenge. I will not take advantage of a sleeping classmate by drawing a Dark Mark on their arm. I will not use House Elves as replacements for Bludgers. I will not start every potion's class by asking Snape if the potion is acceptable as Body Lotion. I will not call the Weasly or Patil twins, "bookends." I will not dress up as Voldemort on Halloween. I will not tell Sirius he takes himself too seriously. I will not tell Sir Cadogan that The Knight's Who Say Ni have challenged him to a duel, then have all the students say, 'Ni' from various directions. I am not the King of the Potato People and I do not have a flying carpet. "To conquer the Earth with an army of flying monkeys" is not a career choice. I will not attack my fellow classmates. I will not make an impossible riddle for people to give an answer to enter the Ravenclaw area. I will not flirt with Harry Potter in front of Ginny Weasly. I will not flirt with Ron Weasly in front of Hermione Granger. 24 REASONS WHY IGGY FROM MAXIMUM RIDE IS BETTER THAN FANG 1. Iggy can build spectacular bombs. 2. Fang cannot. And he can see. 3. Iggy cooks like Emeril. 4. Fang would burn the house down if he tried. 5. Iggy has a hillarious sense of humor. 6. So does Fang, but only on his blog - otherwise, you might as well be talking to a rock. 7. Iggy loves fire. 8. Fang loves Max. Whoop-de-do. Get a room, you two! 9. Iggy has skills. 10. Fang has a blog. Enough said. 11. Iggy doesn't need fangirls on the Internet to tell him he's awesome. 12. That seems to be the secret purpose behind Fang's blog... 13. Iggy laughs in the face of danger. 14. Fang goes emo in the face of danger. 15. Actually, just kidding on that last one - he actually leaves, and abandons his familly in the face of danger. My bad. 16. Iggy has super-ears. 17. Fang has a super-ego. 18. Iggy is smart. 19. Fang is a smart-Alec. 20. But so is Iggy... 21. Fang has a snappy fashion-sense. 22. Iggy has enough knowledge on explosives to blow up the planet, and the creativity and intelligence to get away with it. 23. Fang wears just black. All the time. What does that say for your creativity, buddy? And finally... 24. Fang looked like a GIRL in the mangas, and Iggy was HOT. So there. If you believe that Iggy is better than Fang, copy and post it on your profile On a hair straightener: "Do not use in water." (Yeah, I really want to straighten my hair while I'm washing it!!!) On a package of pasta after the cooking insturctions: "Put on fork and eat." (...I thought you used a spoon...) On a can of bug spray:“Harmful to bees”. (I thought I was harmful to ants) On a life-saving device: “This is not a life-saving device”. (Note to self, don't buy from this company) On a TV remote control: “Not dish washer safe”. (So that's why it won't work anymore...) A New Zealand insect spray "Not tested on animals." (Obviously.. you tested it on insects, duh!) A Television Owner’s Manual "Do not pour liquids into your television set." (People really get payed for writing this??) A VCR box says "Instructional video on hooking up your VCR included." (How can you watch it????!!!!!) A can of self-defense pepper spray "May irritate eyes." (Really???) A can of windscreen de-icing spray "Spray works in sub-zero temperatures." (That helps a lot) A cardboard sunshield that keeps sun off the dashboard "Do not drive with sunshield in place." (Well, that explains a lot.) A cartridge for a laser printer "Do not eat toner." (Awww... but it tastes good) A computer mouse "Do not dangle the mouse by its cable or throw the mouse at co-workers." (Where did they get that idea...) A container of underarm deodorant "Caution: Do not spray in eyes." (Amazing.) A dishwasher carries this warning "Do not allow children to play in the dishwasher." (Oh...Srry kids can't play in there anymore...) A popular manufactured fireplace log "Caution - Risk of Fire." (What's it supposed to do...play music?) A rubber ball toy "Choking hazard: This toy is a small ball." (Isn't that why I'm buying it?) A sharpening stone "Knives are sharp." (You don't say!) A snowblower warns "Do not use snowthrower on roof." (And how exactly am I supposed to get a snowthrower on the roof?) A baby stroller "Remove child before folding." (Oh. Better go get little Bobby out...) A pair of shin guards manufactured for bicyclists "Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover." (Darn.) An electric router made for carpenters "This product not intended for use as a dental drill." (Shoot. There goes my quick fix to this cavity.) An "Aim-n-Flame" fireplace lighter "Do not use near fire, flame or sparks." (Okay... then how am I suppose to use it?) A rock garden "Eating rocks may lead to broken teeth." (Ah.) A Fruit Roll-Up snack "Remove plastic before eating." (That's why it doesn't taste good...) On a bag of Marshmellows: "Flammable" (Really? I thought they were fire resistant...oops...) I’m a female. Fe = Iron. Male = Man. Therefore, I am Iron man. Penguins can’t fly, I can’t fly:( Therefore, I am a penguin. Shower = the place of thoughts and decision making. Saying ‘and, yeah’ when you don’t know how to finish a sentence. Going into the fridge every 20 minutes to see if the food fairy has brought anything good to eat. If you can’t win an argument, correct their grammar instead. That awkward moment when it’s quiet in class and your stomach decides to make that dying whale sound. I renamed all my files “the world” so every day when I “save” the world I feel important. I hate when websites ask, “are you human?” umm hello? I'm obviously a unicorn. When you’re angry, your texting speed increases by a ridiculous amount. Got bored, so I logged off. Then logged back on, because I got bored. I don’t know what’s more awkward, answering Dora, or sitting in silence while she stares at you. “H3y, wh@t R y0uu dO!nq?!” Well, I’m about to throw a dictionary in your face. 46 Ways To Annoy a Non-Harry Potter Fan: 1) Relate everything they say to the Harry Potter books or movies. 2) Crowd their in box with Harry Potter related emails, make the subject misleading. 3) Give them Harry Potter merchandise for their b-day and demand they cherish it 4-ever. 4) Pretend you can do magic. 5) Yell "CRUCIO" whenever they insult Harry Potter. 6) If your late for something blame it on your broken time turner. 7) Sort every person you meet in to one of the four houses. 8) Say "Lumos" every time you turn on a light. 9) If your asked to retrieve something shout "Accio" loudly. 10) Refuse to wash your hair and explain you're going for the Snape look. 11) Spend hours at a time trying to make your broom fly. 12) Tap all brick walls you encounter with an umbrella. 13) Demand to know what exactly the function of a rubber duck is. 14) Carry around a hip flask and refuse to drink anything anyone else offers you. 15) Hum the Harry Potter theme all day long. 16) Talk to animals and insist that they're animagi. 17) Walk up to random people and ask if their initials are R.A.B. 18) Tell them that they're almost as smart as Grawp. 19) Refuse to tell them who Grawp is. 20) Whenever it gets foggy outside scream "The Dementors are coming!" and hide for days at a time. 21) Point at modern electronic devices and say "Look at that! The things these muggles come up with!" 22) Point and grunt and insist that your speaking troll. 23) Take them to a CD store and make them look for the new Weird Sisters Album. 24) Always speak with a British accent, especially if your not from the U.K. 25) Draw round glasses and a lightening bolt scar on every poster you come across. 26) Constantly compare them to Mrs. Figg. 27) Laugh evilly if they ask who Mrs. Figg is. 28) Complain loudly about how your pictures don't move. 29) Break any awkward silences by saying "How 'bout them Chudley Canons." 30) Say "Alhomora" every time you open a door. 31) Every time you see them demand an explanation of why they don't like harry potter. 32) Say everything in a sing-song voice like Luna Lovegood. 33) Shriek loudly and say that you're speaking Mermish. 34) If they ask you about the weather solemnly say, "Mars is bright tonight." 35) Pretend your under an invisibility cloak and shout "You can't see me!" 36) Knit them a maroon jumper every year, especially if maroon isn't there color. 37) Draw the sign of the Hallow on every surface in the house. 38) While playing chess with them, stare at your pieces and give them verbal commands. 39) Throw the chess board across the room when the pieces don't move. 40) When one of the movies is on TV remind them every five minutes. 41) Refer to random people as "You-Know-Who." 42) Start swatting at the air saying there's a wrackspurt around. 43) Ask them to help you stuy for your O.W.L.'S 44) Walk around bumping into walls explaining your looking for the Room of Requirement. 45) Run up to random men with long dark hair and scream "SIRIUS! I always knew you were alive!" 46) Run up to them all worriedly and tell them that Voldemort is back. WHen they ask who Voldemort is, say, 'DON'T SAY THE NAME!' and run off screaming. If you can raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too. Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can. I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed erveylteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! Paste this to your profile if you can read this! All that is gold does not glitter, Not all who wander are lost. The old that is strong does not wither, Deep roots are not reached by the frost. From the ashes a fire shall be woken, A light from the shadows shall spring. Renewed shall be blade that was broken, The crownless again shall be king. Demons run when a good man goes to war. Night will fall and drown the sun, When a good man goes to war. Friendship dies and true love lies, Night will fall and the dark will rise, When a good man goes to war. Demons run, but count the cost. The battle's won but the child is lost. Harry Potter vs Twilight In Harry Potter if vampires walk into the sun they die. In Twilight if vampires walk into the sun they sparkle. In Harry Potter werewolves are awesome and actually kill people. In Twilight werewolves are pedophiles. In Harry Potter the main character travels to a magical school in Scotland. In Twilight the main character has a 109 year old virgin watching them sleep. In Harry Potter the villain is a bald guy with a snake called Voldemort. In Twilight the villains are posh vampires that have crazy plans and end up getting killed by Edward every time. In Harry Potter the main character chooses the hot ginger over the emotional Chinese girl. In Twilight the main character chooses the sparkling vampire over the sexy werewolf with abs. In Harry Potter when the man Hermione Granger loved left her she continued to search for the horcruxes so they could defeat Voldemort and save the wizarding world. In Twilight when the man Bella loved left her she went numb for months and then jumped of a cliff. In Harry Potter Robert Patterson dies. In Twilight Robert Patterson lives. Now try and tell me with a straight face that Twilight is better than Harry Potter, impossible isn't it. Copy and paste if you think Harry Potter is better than Twilight. "When love is not madness, it's not love." Pedro Calderon de la Barca "One good thing about music, When it hits you, you feel no pain." Bob Marley "The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder." Alfred Hitchcock "Best way to predict the future is to invent it." Alan Kay "I am the literary equivalent of a Big Mac and fries." -Stephan King "Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and im not sure about the universe." Albert Einstein "There's this kind of silence that only exists in the middle of a crowd. When everyone's talking, but you're not really there. And you wish that everyone would just go away, because somehow being with them is even more lonely than being on your own." ―Tidus, Dreamflow, by Bangles "Being smart takes patience. Being wise takes pain. Being apathetic takes practice. Being in love takes everything...away." ―Dave Matthes "Authors are sometimes like tomcats: they distrust all the other toms but they are kind to kittens." ―Malcolm Cowley "Authors like cats because they are such quiet, lovable, wise creatures, and cats like authors for the same reasons." ―Robertson Davies "A pessimist only sees the dark side of the clouds, and mopes; a philosopher sees both sides and shrugs; an optimist doesn't see the clouds at all― he's walking on them." ―Leonard L. Levinson "There is no flag large enough to cover the shame of killing innocent people." ―Howard Zinn "Sanity and happiness are an impossible combination." ―Mark Twain "The fact that writers will go through so much to remain authors says something, perhaps everything. It would be far easier (and nearly always more profitable) to become a real estate agent." ―Maria Lenhart "Many people hear voices when no-one is there. Some of them are called mad and are shut up in rooms where they stare at the walls all day. Others are called writers and they do much the same thing." ―Unknown "If I cannot move Heaven, I will raise Hell." ―Virgil "Write on my gravestone: 'Infidel, Traitor.', infidel to every church that compromises with wrong, traitor to every government that oppresses the people." ―Wendell Phillips "Once the toothpaste is out of the tube, it’s hard to get it back in." ―Unknown If you don't have a problem with homosexuality, copy this into your profile: 1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, liposuction and air conditioning. 2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall. 3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract. 4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal. 5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Brittany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed. 6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children. 7) Obviously, gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children. (So where did the gay people come from...) 8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America. 9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children. 10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans... THINGS YOU NEVER WANT TO HEAR WHILE UNDERGOING SURGERY: 1. "Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy." 2. "Someone call the janitor - we're going to need a mop." 3. "Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness" 4. "Bo! Bo! Come back with that! Bad Dog!" 5. "Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that?" 6. "Hand me that...uh...that uh...thingy." 7. "Oh no! I just lost my Rolex." 8. "Oops! Hey, has anyone ever survived 500ml of this stuff before?" 9. "Damn, there go the lights again..." 10. "Ya know, there's big money in kidneys. Hell, the guy's got two of them." 11. "What do you mean you want a divorce?" 12. "Ooooops!" Fandom is focus. Fandom is obsession. Fandom is insatiable consumption. Fandom is sitting for hours in front of a TV screen a movie screen a computer screen with a comic book a novel on your lap. Fandom is eyestrain and carpal tunnel syndrome and not enough exercise and staying up way, way past your bedtime. Fandom is people you don't tell your mother you're meeting. Fandom is people in the closet, people out and proud, people in costumes, people in T-shirts with slogans only fifty others would understand. Fandom is a loud dinner conversation scaring the waiter and every table nearby. Fandom is you in Germany and me in the US and him in Australia and her in Japan. Fandom is a sofabed in New York, a roadtrip to Oxnard, a friend behind a face in London. Fandom talks past timezones and accents and backgrounds. Fandom is conversation. Communication. Contact. Fandom is drama. Fandom is melodrama. Fandom is high school. Fandom is Snacky's law and Godwin's law and Murphy's law. Fandom is smarter than you. Fandom is stupider than you. Fandom is five arguments over and over and over again. Fandom is the first time you've ever had them. Fandom is female. Fandom is male. Fandom lets female play at being male. Fandom bends gender, straight, gay, prude, promiscuous. Fandom is fantasy. Fandom doesn't care about norms or taboos or boundaries. Fandom cares too much about norms and taboos and boundaries. Fandom is not real life. Fandom is closer than real life. Fandom knows what you're really like in the bedroom. Fandom is how you would never, could never be in the bedroom. Fandom is shipping, never shipping, het, slash, gen, none of the above, more than the above. Fandom is love for characters you didn't create. Fandom is recreating the characters you didn't create. Fandom is appropriation, subversion, dissention. Fandom is adoration, extrapolation, imitation. Fandom is dissection, criticism, interpretation. Fandom is changing, experimenting, attempting. Fandom is creating. Fandom is drawing, painting, vidding: nine seasons in four minutes of love. Fandom is words, language, authoring. Fandom is essays, stories, betas, parodies, filks, zines, usenet posts, blog posts, message board posts, emails, chats, petitions, wank, concrit, feedback, recs. Fandom is writing for the first time since you were twelve. Fandom is finally calling yourself a writer. Fandom is signal and response. Fandom is a stranger moving you to tears, anger, laughter. Fandom is you moving a stranger to speak. Fandom is distraction. Fandom is endangering your job, your grades, your relationships, your bank account. Fandom gets no work done. Fandom is too much work. Fandom was/is just a phase. Fandom could never be just a phase. Fandom is where you found a friend, a sister, a kindred spirit. Fandom is where you found a talent, a love, a reason. We are Fanfiction. We are the girls who spend more time writing than talking. We are the boys who spend more time reading than watching TV. We are the teens who run to the fictional when their real lives are unbearable. We are the college kids who should be studying, but aren’t because of the plot bunny that won’t stop running around in our heads. We are the budding authors who procrastinate their original work to write “just one more oneshot”. We live in Fanfiction. We live in our computers. We live in the minds of our readers. We live in our letters, our words, our sentences. We live in the stories, the reviews, the endless profiles. We live in worlds that aren’t even ours. We can become Fanfiction. We can become the one people wait for just to see what we have to say. We can become a queen, a king, the beloved one of a fandom. We can become a role model, inspiration, and encouragement for younger writers. We can become the person who smiles upon reading a review and finding that we have disturbed a room with our reviewer’s laughter, broken a fan’s heart, moved someone to tears, or opened a window that would have otherwise stayed firmly shut and veiled. We can become the one to save a story, save a writer, even, with just a few taps on the keyboard and a good bit of constructive criticism. Because aren't we all? WE ARE FANFICTION. –– DarkHorseBlueSky Epic Quotes/Words to Live By: There are very few problems which cannot be solved by large amounts of explosives. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you. You look like your face was on fire and someone tried to put it out with a fork. I'm a fucking unicorn and I don’t believe in humans. Anything thrown hard enough should hurt. I'm so gay I can't even think straight. Apparently 1 in 5 people are Chinese. There are five people in my family so it must be one of them. It's either my mom or dad. Or my older brother Will. Or my younger brother Ho-chan-chu. But I think it's Will. Be optimistic. All the people you hate are going to eventually die. My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch. Did you know that 'school' and 'vagina' are both six letter words and are dark holes of nothingness that can hold screaming children for nine months? I’d slap you, but that would be animal abuse. I keep some people's phone numbers in my contacts just so I know not to answer when they call. If you were on fire and I had some water, I'd drink it. The more you learn, the more you know. The more you know, the more you forget. The more you forget, the less you know. So why learn? Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. So go to school, learn everything, become powerful, and take over the world! There's always a light at the end of the tunnel. Of course, it's usually an oncoming express train. I intend to live forever -- so far, so good. Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult. Grammar is important. Capitalization is the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse, and helping your uncle jack off a horse. Grammar is the difference between knowing your shit, and knowing you're shit. "Let's eat, Grandma!" "Let's eat Grandma!" Help save lives. Use correct grammar. This calls for a particularly subtle blend of psychology and extreme violence. You know, you do this annoying thing where you open your mouth and then these things you call words come out. Yeah like that. Stop it. My teacher pointed at me with her ruler and said, “At the end of this ruler is an idiot.” I got detention for asking which end. Anatidaephobia — fear that somewhere, somehow, a duck is watching you. There is nothing worse than that moment in which you are sure you're going to die after leaning back in a chair a little too far. Help! I've fallen and I can't reach my Life Alert! Some see the glass half full, some see it half empty. Me? I just want to know who the hell is drinking my damn orange juice. I let some blind guy borrow money the other day. Yeah, he said he was gonna pay me back the next time he saw me... Wait. Ah, the internet: where men are men, women are also men, and thirteen-year-old girls are FBI agents. When butterflies fall in love do they feel humans in their stomachs? There’s a fine line between genius and stupidity. I like to play jump rope with that line. If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get one million miles to the gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside. The internet is like Egypt; we write on walls, convey messages with pictures that no one understands, and worship cats. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. I put the sexy in dyslexia. There are three kinds of people. Those who learn by reading, a few who learn by observation, and the rest who have to test the electric fence for themselves. I've always wanted my last words to be,"Hey, what does this button do?" Police officer: How high are you? Person: No officer, it's 'Hi, how are you?' There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. The 3 Stages of Insanity: Insanity is simply getting the joke before anyone says it. If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk. Normal is just a setting on washing machines. If it wasn't for physics and law enforcement, I'd be unstoppable. A loser is a window washer on the 44th floor who steps back to admire his work. A "Push" is the force exerted upon the door marked "Pull". Never do anything you don't want to explain to the paramedics. Never do anything you don't want to explain to the judge. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. But pants? Pants never get dirty; you can wear them forever! I'm going on a quest, to the deepest, darkest corners of my room, in search of what some would call a "floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me my friends, wish me luck, for I may not return alive. Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven’t gone to sleep yet. Hello!! I am your femur! Consider yourself fucked! Build a man a fire and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. It's you and me against the world. We attack at dawn. As a driver, I hate pedestrians. As a pedestrian, I hate drivers. But no matter what form of transportation I'm using, I always hate bicyclists. He broke her heart. She broke his X-Box. I think we all know who cried harder. I look around and all I see is stupid! On a completely unrelated topic, I like to look at mirrors. What happens if you get scared half to death twice? Death is God's way of saying "You're fired." I am not a bitch; I am the bitch; and to you, I am Ms. Bitch. I'm on a mission to save the world (I can't believe those idiots trusted me with this). Relax. Everything's gone to hell in a handbasket, but the internet still works. Even when fully awake, we still have trouble locating car keys in our pockets, finding cell phones, and pinning the tail on the donkey, but I'll bet you anything anyone can locate and push the snooze button from 5 feet away, in the dark, while half-asleep, every time. Haikus can be cool, But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator. A stranger stabs you in the front. A friend stabs you in the back. A boyfriend stabs you in the heart. But a best friend will stab you in the arm repeatedly with a plastic spork while yelling, "DIE, BITCH!" This weight on my chest Cannot ever be lifted. Oh wait, it's just boobs. I don’t trip. I do random gravity checks. “Did you just fall?” “No, I attacked the floor." "Backwards?” "I’m skilled.” "He thought he was a wit, and he was half right." - Joseph Addison "Me, I'm dishonest, and a dishonest person you can always trust to be dishonest, honestly. It's the honest ones you oughtta watch out for because you never know when they are gonna do something incredibly...stupid." - Captain Jack Sparrow "In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move." - Douglas Adams "I can see a world without hate and without war. And I can see us taking over that world, because they'd never expect it." "I will follow you to the ends of the Earth. And when we get there, I will push you off." -Banki SilverWolf "STOP THINKING STUPID!!" -My English teacher "Can we be antisocial butterflies?" -Sen the Cheshire Cat "Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes." "I will lie, cheat, steal and destroy things for really good books. And I will sell my soul for an internet connection, I miss Google damnit!" - Strange Return by Shivera "We leave immediately!" "But what about dinner?!" "...We leave in two hours!" "You remind me of something." "What?" "Monday." "Why?" "Nobody likes you." "Wait! Violence is not the answer!" "You're right; it's the question! And the answer is YES!" ''In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with more than one small child, then pick your favorite.'' Your friend calls you at 3 in the morning. "Are you asleep?" "No, I'm skydiving." Teacher: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, do you know why his father didn't punish him? Student: Because George still had the axe in his hand. Teacher: Maria, go to the map and find North America. "Dear students, I know when you’re texting in class. Seriously, no one just looks down at their crotch and smiles. Sincerely, your teacher." The Ouran Alphabet A is for Academy, which is where the Ouran students attend
"There is nothing you could have done. There will always be people who say mean words because you are different. And sometimes their minds cannot be changed. But there are many more people who do not judge others based on how they look or where they are from. Those are the people whose words truly matter." - Starfire; Teen Titans S4E6: Troq. "You must never give into despair. Allow yourself to slip down that road and you surrender to your lower instincts in darker times. In darker times, hope is something you give yourself. That is the meaning of inner strength." - Iroh; A:tLA S2E5: Avatar Day. "Life happens wherever you are, whether you make it or not." - Iroh; A:tLA S2E15: The Tales of Ba Sing Se. "Sometimes, clouds have two sides: a dark and light, and a silver lining in between. It's like a silver sandwich! So, when life seems hard... take a bite out of the silver sandwich." - Zuko; A:tLA S3E14: The Boiling Rock. “I will never turn my back on the people who need me!” - Katara; A:tLA S3E3: The Painted Lady "The true mind an weather all the lies and illusions without being lost - the true heart can tough the poison of hatred without being harmed. Since beginningless time, darkness thrives in the void, but always yields to purifying light." - Lion Turtle; A:tLA S3E19: Sozin's Comet - The Old Masters. "Love is brightest in the dark." - A:tLA S2E2 "There are many types of monsters that scare me: Monsters who cause trouble without showing themselves, monsters who abduct children, monsters who devour dreams, monsters who suck blood... and then, monsters who tell nothing but lies. Lying monsters are a real nuisance: They are much more cunning than others. They pose as humans even though they have no understanding of the human heart; they eat even though they've never experienced hunger; they study even though they have no interest in academics; they seek friendship even though they do not know how to love. If I were to encounter such monsters, I would likely be eaten by them... because in truth, I am that monster." - L; Death Note Rewrite "Once there was an ugly barnacle. And he was so ugly, that everyone died. The end." - Patrick Star; Spongebob Squarepants "Those who break the rules are trash, but those who abandon their friends are worse than trash." - Kakashi Hatake; Naruto "People live their lives bound by what they accept as correct and true. That's how they define "reality". But what does it mean to be "correct" or "true"? Merely vague concepts… their "reality" may all be a mirage. Can we consider them to simply be living in their own world, shaped by their beliefs?" - Itachi Uchiha; Naruto "We are humans, not fish. We don't know what kind of people we truly are until the moment before our deaths. As death comes to embrace you, you will realise what you are. That's what death is, don't you think?" - Itachi Uchiha; Naruto "I will work hard, because I want to become acknowledged by others. That's what I thought when I look at Naruto Uzumaki. Bonds with others… Up until now, I only known them as hate and murderous intent. But I wonder, what is that bond he longed for? Now I understand, even only a little. Pain, sadness… and joy. These feelings allow you to understand others." - Sabaku No Gaara; Naruto "This time… I hope for you these will be flowers of hope that never die." - Konan; Naruto "Pain tends to heal as time passes, but personally, I don't want time to heal my wounds." - Ciel Phantomhive; Kuroshitsuji The 27 Commandments of Fanfiction: 1. Thou shalt not post a fic until it has been checked for grammar and spelling errors. The fanfiction gods hath given you a spellchecker on the computer for good reason. Use it. 2. Thou shalt not post a chapter of less than 100 words, unless it is a drabble. This displeases the masses. 3. Thou shalt not put author's notes in the middle of the story. 4. Thou shalt NEVER use text-speak in a fic, unless the characters are actually texting. 5. Thou shalt keep to one tense, and only one, throughout the story. Do not switch randomly. 6. Apply the above number 5 to POVs as well. 7. Thou shalt not get offended when someone makes fun of the crack pairing featured in your fanfiction. It probably is rather hilarious. 8. Thou shalt not use , ;, or :( in a fanfiction to show the emotion exhibited by a character. 9. Thou shall try-eth to keep characters in character! 10. Thou shall not treat every criticism as a flame. 11. The author's note is not a spot for your personal drama, and thou shalt not make it so. 12. Thou shalt not put any form of the phrase "first fic" in thy summary. 13. Thy created characters must not have names that exceed five syllables in length. Nor shall thy name have more than five words in length. 14. Thou shall not insert thyself into the story line as thyself or as a character- yes we know that you are in love with yourself and are very narcissistic, we just don’t want to read about how you end up with the main character. (Oops) 15. If thou art writing a story that does not follow the original story line, point it out in the beginning. 16. Thou shall not make a person randomly smart or powerful unless stating a reason for the change (a good reason). 17. Thou shalt show and not tell. 18. Thou shalt not EVER use the phrase "I suck at summaries" in-est thine summary. This annoys thine readers. 19. Thou shalt not write the same way thou speak-est- writing is an art. 20. Thou shalt ALWAYS spell the word "okay" correctly. Using the letter "K" is an unacceptable compromise. 21. Thou shalt only use clichés when thou a) art writing a parody or b) find a new and interesting twist to make such clichés bearable to thine reader. 22. Thou shalt always separate dialogue from two separate speakers in two separate paragraphs. Otherwise thine readers shalt be confuse-ed. 23. Thou shalt not EVER make a chapter all one paragraph. THIS INFURIATES BOTH THINE READER AND THE FANFICTION GODS. They have given thee an ENTER key with good reason. 24. Thou shalt not write with thy caps lock on, it displeases the masses and causes thy readers to lose their vision and make angels weep. 25. Thou shalt know how to spell the character's names correctly before you writeth the fic. Misspelling the name of the main characters makes readers angry and distracts from the story. 26. Thou shalt not say in thine summary "summary inside". This shows lack of creativeness and infuriates the masses. The only exception is when a summary is cut short and a continuation of it lies inside. 27. Thou shall use paragraphs and space the story so it is not terrifyingly daunting to thine readers. Light Total: 2 L Total: 5 Misa [ ] You love someone blindly. Total:2 Mello Matt Total: 3 Near Total: 2 Mikami Total-3 Ryuk Total: 3 Matsuda [x] Some people think that you are an idiot. (Haha, it's true ;) Total: 2 OVERALL I GOT: Light- 2 L- 5 Misa- 2 Near- 2 Matt- 3 Mello- 3 Matsuda- 2 Ryuk- 3 Mikami- 3 |
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