americanswede22
 Author has written 2 stories for Hetalia - Axis Powers, and Beauty and the Beast. Well hello there! My name is americanswede22... I'm sure you could've guessed, but whatever. Anyways, I really like the Hetalia fandom, and usually that is what most of my fics are based on, although, more fandoms may occur later... My favorite pairing is SuFin, as you will soon find out.;) Beware, most of my stories are written late at night, so if they seem like they are written by a slap-happy person, it's because they are. XD I take suggestions, but I also do a lot of suff that came from my very own noddle.:) I do not do yaoi or smut, or anything like that, (sorry!) usually everything is just a bit fluffy. So I hope you consider making me your BFF because that would be as awesome as Prussia!! I apologize for that... twas a bit corny... Questions? TOO BAD I AIN'T GIVIN YOU MAH EMAIL!!!XD Americanswede22 Okay, now to the fun stuff. Favorite role-play between me and my friends. (I'm using our role-play names) Me=sweden Sweden-Why don't u pay attention to me any more? -_- Finny-Well, im busy...doin the tumblez Sweden-But...I saved u...-_- Finny-wat? O.o Sweden-I saved u...FROM RUSSIA!! :( Finny- Yea but...o.o Sweden-FROM RUSSIA! Finny-Well yea...0.0 Sweden-FROM RUSSIA FIN, FROM RUSSIA!!! D: Finny-...Okay... ().() Sweden-DO U KNOW HOW CREEPY HE IS?! THAT MAN IS NUTS!!! Finny-Um... Sweden- *Continues rambling* Lunch lady person walks up* Sweden (Out of character)- Ohai! *.* Finny-*facepalm* Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand scene ;) Best moment in class: My science teacher got a new dog, and she was wondering what to name it... so heregoez- Sci. teacher- Okay, so, she kinda looks like chewbakka, (I most likely spelled that wrong) so, I wanted to name her Chewy...cute right? Sci. class- *mummbly* yeah..it's cute... sci. teacher- Well...i came up with an even better name than that...ready?...CHEWBARKA! HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA CHEWBARKA! Sci. class- *facepalm* yes...this actually happened... sad huh? 2nd favorite roleplay- i am France in this one so yea.. Sealand-What are you getting for Christmas? France-Ohhonhonhon! Do you really want to know? Sealand-Umm...Yea!! France- Belarus! I get Belarus for a week for Christmas! Sealand- Is she nice? France- *Dreamily* Yes! very nice... Sealand- Will she recognize me as a country? France- No. Sealand- Aww... France-Ukraine will though... Sealand- Ukraine? France- She is Russia's sister. She's very nice... Sealand- So...she will recognize me as a country? France- I guess...if she can see you over her *Whispers* bust Sealand- Her bus? France- *Gives blank look* oui monsieur...her bus. Sealand-*Sadly* I bet it's not yellow huh? France- Non, actually, it's more of a peach color... Sealand-*Happily* Does it say school? France-*Cheerfully* Nope. It says 'eat me' Sealand-(Out of character) *Dies of laghter* France-*Smiles contentedly* Just some general stereotypes. The ones that might apply to me are in bolded print. I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic. FRIENDS: never ask anything to eat or drink FRIENDS:Call your parents Mr. Mrs and grandma and grandpa by there last/first names FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail FRIENDS: Will pick out a cute chick-flick to watch with you on movie night FRIENDS: Never seen you cry FRIENDS: Meet your boyfriend and say nice to meet you FRIENDS: Will say you can do better FRIENDS: Ask why you're crying FRIENDS: Will help you move FRIENDS: helps you up when you fall FRIENDS: gives you their umbrella in the rain FRIENDS: wipes your tears when your rejected FRIENDS: Tell you that you look nice. FRIENDS: Say "good luck" when you go get your ears pierced. FRIENDS: Roll their eyes when you start rambling yet again about your boyfriend (the fourth time that night). FRIENDS: Smile when you get obsessed with something. FRIENDS: Say "see you later!" FRIENDS: Ask you to write down your number FRIENDS: Forgive you. FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff and gives it back a few days later FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that's what everyone else is doing FRIENDS: Tell jokes with you. FRIENDS: Tell you that you're the most annoying thing on earth. FRIENDS: Annoy you. FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell FRIENDS: Are through high school /college (drinking buddies) FRIENDS: comfort you when you fight with your boyfriend FRIENDS: tell you to forget it when you say you want to vandalize a guy's house FRIENDS: Think your insane for jumping off a roof onto a trampoline FRIENDS: come over every couple of months for a sleepover FRIENDS: are offended when you make fun of them FRIENDS: are shy around your boyfriend FRIENDS: don't see you if you're sick FRIENDS: call you retarded for running threw bleachers yelling "IT'S PICKLE TIME!" (don't ask you don't want to know) FRIENDS: Will ignore this YOUR BOY SIDE: You love hoodies. YOUR GIRL SIDE: If you've ever tried to lick your elbow and knew that it was physically impossible, copy this to your profile. If you've ever screamed at a book or the TV copy this! If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile. Most people would be offended if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. Copy this into your profile if you would be one of the few people that would answer, "Where to begin?" If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile. 98 percent of teens do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the two percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile. If you think your insane because you say so, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile. If you have ever crashed into a wall, copy and paste this to your profile. If you have ever ran into an inanimate object and apologized, copy and paste this to your profile. If you have ever tripped on air, copy and paste this to your profile. If you have ever pushed a door that says "pull" or vise versa, copy and paste this to your profile. If you've walked under something that was about two feet above your head and ducked anyway copy and paste this is your profile. If there are times where you just want to annoy someone for the heck of it copy this into your profile If several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your profile! If you ever zoned out for five consecutive minutes, copy and paste this into your profile. If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both, copy and paste this on your profile. If you are obsessed with fanfiction, copy this into your profile. If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile. If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile. If you think that those stupid kids should just give that poor Trix rabbit some Trix, copy this into your profile. 92% of the teenage population would die if Abercrombie and Fitch, American Eagle, or Hollister decided breathing was uncool. Paste this onto your profile if you are one of the 8% that would be laughing hysterically instead. If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews in your email, paste this into your profile If you actually take the time to read other peoples profiles, copy this to yours. If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile. If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile. 95 of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the 5 who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list:AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929,SweetNCrazieSugarmuffin,The Komodo Dragon Phoenix,Bust_A_Groover, Tecna, Triggonseed, The Only Innocent Writer Here-Yumi, Kikyouhater118, Midnight-angel-of-darkness, adngo714,cyber-porygon, the aku dragon of light, PirateCaptainBo; Ski Bo, pyro_manic19, ImmaLickYou, BloodredAngel808,tmmdeathwishraven, Spottedpool, oOHawkpathOo, Tavia99, Rainheart344, AbigailJonesNY, Americanswede22 Less than 1 percent of female teenagers don't use make-up. Are you one of those who don't? BE PROUD AND GLUE THIS THING IN YOUR PROFILE! If you love writing, copy and paste this into your profile If you know sugar is the greatest plant ever grown, copy and paste this into your profile If you are random when you're happy, copy and paste this to your profile. Copy and Paste this if you love copying and pasting If you like to read what people put in their profiles, and you like Copy & Paste stuff, copy and paste this into your profile. 98 percent of authors confuse "you're" and "your". If you're one of the 2 percent who knows how to tell them apart, copy and paste this into your profile. If you ever felt bored at school, copy and paste this into your profile. If you want a cookie right now, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile. If you like reading fics, copy and paste this into your profile. If someone ever called you insane or crazy and you laughed, copy and paste this into your profile. If you ever gazed blankly at somewhere, copy and paste this into your profile. If you ever had a cute pet, copy and paste this it into your profile. (I've currently got two bunnies!) There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile. If you want to stop reading this and get ice cream or something put this on your profile If you wish you lived in a anime world of your choice put this on your profile If you are insane put this on your profile If you want to throw a chair at someone put this on your profile If you did throw a chair at someone put this on your profile If you've ever threatened your computer put this on your profile If you're paranoid a anime character will drag you into their world put this on your profile If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile. If you ever wished you could talk to animals or be an animal, copy and paste this into If you like animals, give one a home if you can. If you already have or can't but want 97% of teens and middle-aged women would cry if they saw Edward Cullen from Twilight standing on top of a skyscraper about to jump. If you are one of the 3% who would sit there eating popcorn, screaming, "DO A FLIP, YOU SPARKLY BITCH!", then please copy and paste this in your profile. 98% OF TEENS WON'T STAND UP FOR GOD... REPOST THIS IF YOU'RE ONE OF THE 2 WHO WILL To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity 1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down. 2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice. 3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that. 4. When caught sleeping at school/work/wherever you are not supposed to be sleeping, and you are woken up, shout, "AMEN!" 5.Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso. the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write For Marijuana 7.Finish All Your sentences with 'In Accordance With The Prophecy'. 9. Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get. 10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face. 11.Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'. 12. Sing Along At The Opera. 14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day. 15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have a headache. 17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won! I Won!' 18. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!' 19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner,'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.' 20 And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity, Copy and Paste this To Make People who read bios Smile. I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird, a nerd, and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a girlfriend on a cellphone or regular phone. I am the girl that hasn't been asked out ever. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain. But I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn't care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who can express herself better with words than with words, and knows the importance of the little things. Copy and Paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest times that they are unique, but not alone. PrettyFanGirl, Truth Be Told 13, creative-writing-girl13, Jasper 1006, DubbleV,GwenFan22, Harryismyheroicsavior, Hermione'sBFF454, Lilly Rae, daisyduke80,viva9626, CayennePeppr, OrangeSugar, StoriesAreMagic, Little Christian, FishE1, spammessages222, Rainheart344, AbigailJonesNY, Americanswede22 The 6 truths of life... 1. You can't lick all of your teeth with your tongue. 2. You just tried to do the above. 3. The first truth is a lie. 4. You're smiling now because you're realising you're an idiot. 5. You'll copy this into your profile for some other sucker to read it. 6. There's still a stupid smile on your face. XD Type your name if you actually fell for it: FearlessNeko, Tavia99, Rainheart344, AbigailJonesNY, Americanswede22 My name is Tiffany I am three, My eyes are swollen I cannot see, I must be stupid I must be bad, What else could have made My daddy so mad? I wish I were better I wish I weren’t ugly, Then maybe my mommy Would still want to hug me. I can’t do a wrong I can’t speak at all Or else I'm locked up All day long. When I'm awake I'm all alone The house is dark My folks aren’t home When my mommy does come home I'll try and be nice, So maybe ill just get One whipping tonight. I just heard a car My daddy is back From Charlie’s bar. I hear him curse My name is called I press myself Against the wall I try to hide From his evil eyes I’m so afraid now I’m starting to cry He finds me weeping Calls me ugly words, He says its my fault He suffers at work. He slaps and hits me And yells at me more, I finally get free And run to the door He’s already locked it And i start to bawl, He takes me and throws me Against the hard wall I fall to the floor With my bones nearly broken, And my daddy continues With more bad words spoken, "I’m sorry!", I scream But its now much to late His face has been twisted Into a unimaginable shape The hurt and the pain Again and again O please God, have mercy! O please let it end! And he finally stops And heads for the door While i lay there motionless Brawled on the floor My name is Tiffany I am three, Tonight my daddy Murdered me And you can help Sickens me top the soul, And if you read this and don’t pass it on I pray for your forgiveness Because you would have to be One heartless person To not be effected By this Poem And because you are effected, Do something about it! So all i ask you to do Is pass this on! IF YOU ARE AGAINST CHILD ABUSE Please pass it on This is the stupid test...I got a lot of them...I'M NOT THAT DUMB, SERIOUSLY! 1. Forgot to put the lid on the blender, turned it on, and had everything fly out 2. Gotten your head stuck between the stair rails 3. Broken a chair by leaning back in it 4. Had gum fall out of your mouth while you were talking 5. Choked on your own spit while you were talking 6. Had people tell you that you are blonde when you're not/or had had people tell you that your blonde highlights are going to your head 7. Been caught staring at your crush by your crush him/herself 8. Have looked for something for at least 10 min then realized it was in your hand 9. Tried to push open a door that said pull 10. Tried to pull open a door that said push 11. Have actually believed someone when they said that they knew how to make a love potion 12. Have hit yourself in the process of trying to hit something else 13. Have tripped and fallen UP the stairs 14. Have actually exploded marshmallows in the microwave 15. Have gotten gum stuck in your hair 16. Had gum fall out of your mouth while trying to blow a bubble 17. Have had the juice from a mini tomato squirt out and hit somebody else when you bit into it 18. Have had your drink come out your nose because you were laughing so hard 19. Have called one of your good friends by the wrong name 20. Have skinned your toe because you were playing soccer or kickball with flip flops on or you were barefoot 21. Have put a sticker on your forehead, forgot it was there, and went out in public with it on 22. Have fallen out of a moving vehicle 23. Have run into a closed door 24. Have almost shot someone with a real gun while trying to shoot something else 25. Searched for your cell phone while you were talking on it 26. It has taken you longer than 5 min to get a joke 27. Have gotten your hair stuck in a blow dryer 28. Have gotten your hair stuck in a fan 29. Tripped on a crack in the sidewalk 30. Said o'clock after saying how many min after the hour, example: 5:30 o'clock, or 6:15 o'clock 31. After someone told you that there was gum on the ground, you stepped in it 32. Put on a white shirt even though you already knew it was raining outside 33. Have ever walked up to a stranger because you thought they were someone else 34. Ever been kicked out of a grocery store/off their property 35. Touched the stove, the curling iron, a hot pan, etc on purpose even though you knew it was hot 36. Picked out your change of clothes, took off the ones you had on and then accidentally put the old clothes back on 37. Wondered why something wasn't working then realized it wasn't plugged in 38. Put the cereal in the fridge, or put the milk in the cupboard 39. Walked into a pole 40. Wore two different earrings or shoes by accident 41. Put your shirt on backwards/inside-out without realizing it then left your house 42. Tried to take a picture of your/someone's eye with the flash on 43. Gotten a ring stuck on your finger because you put it on even though you knew it was too small 44. Walked out of the bathroom with toilet paper stuck to your shoe without realizing it 45. Went to go do something/go get something, then when you got there forgot what is was that you were going to do. 46. Picked up someone else's drink and drank out of it by accident when your drink was right next to it 47. Fallen out of your chair while trying to pick something up 48. Have poked yourself in the eye (So painful..) 49. Have gotten in the shower with your socks still on 50. Melted your hairbrush while blow drying your hair 51. Have done enough stupid things to make a test 52. Have accidentally stabbed yourself with a pencil 53. Have sung the wrong verse to a song without realizing it 54. Have given an odd answer to a question because you didn't hear the question in the first place and didn't feel like asking what it was. 55. Told someone you were the wrong age because you seriously forgot how old you were 56. Looked into an overhead light purposefully while it was on 57. Got up early and got ready for school/work/meeting, then realized that you didn't have school/work/meeting that day. 58. Have tripped on a cord after someone told you to watch out for it 59. Made fun of somone else joking about something when you have/do that thing yourself. 60. Have ever laughed at a joke that no one else thought was funny or a movie 61. Done the Macarena to the electric slide or vice versa 62. Said funner, then had someone make fun of you for it 63. Have repeated yourself at least twice in the same sentence 64. Brought up an inside joke with the wrong person 65. Didn't do the backside of an assignment because you thought that there wasn't one because you had already looked and forgot that there was another side 66. Did more work than you had to on an assignment because you didn't read the directions 67. Corrected someone's grammar/pronunciation then figured out that you were the one that was wrong 68. Put something in a special place so that you would remember where it was, then forgot where you put it 69. Put ice in your drink after the glass was full of liquid and had it splash out 70. Told a lie then forgot what it was that you had said and got caught 72. Forgot to make sure that the lamp was off before you replaced the light bulb 73. Ran into a door jam 74. Told someone that you hardly ever do stupid things, then immediately did/said something stupid 75. Told someone to watch out for something, then you were the one that ran into it 76. Have purposely licked playground sand 77. Have purposely and repeatedly flicked yourself with a rubber band 78. Gotten so hyper that someone actually thought you were drunk when you weren't 79. Have been so hyper you actually scared people 80. Put duct tape on your body then pulled it off to see if it would pull your hairs out (Curse my hairy arms!!) 81. Put duct tape on your hair/someone else's hair then pulled it off 82. Put a clothes pin/hair clip on your lip, figured out that it hurt, then did it again 83. Sat and wondered why men’s dress shirts have a loop on the back. 84. Made up a code name for someone so that you could talk about them to someone else and no one else would know who you were talking about 85. Have gotten a hairbrush stuck in your hair 86. Used the straw to blow the straw wrapper at someone (it failed, though…paper tastes really bad…) 87. Shaved your tongue because you thought your taste buds looked weird 88. When at a restaurant/cafeteria, you used your spoon to fling stuff at people 89. Have flung forks at people in a restaurant/cafeteria 90. Sucked on a cup and got a hickey from it. 91. As you were writing, you moved your head back and forth with your pen/pencil 92. Have drawn finger puppets on your fingers then named them 93. Have wrapped someone in a roll of toilet paper 94. Have used somebody else's toothbrush without even realizing it wasn't yours 95. Started telling a story and forget what you were talking about or what happened in the story 96. When you saw a ‘beware of dog’ sign, you told the owners to beware of the dogs not realizing they owned the dogs 97. You have spelled your own name wrong before 98. When lying in bed you look for pictures in the texture of the ceiling. 99. Have used your calculator as a form of communication in class. 100. Have popped a balloon in your mouth Wow...I'm such an idiot... Why America has some Issues (Yes I live there, but tough. These are clever) 1. Only in America...can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance. 2. Only in America...are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink. 3. Only in America...do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front. 4. Only in America...do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke. 5. Only in America...do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters. 6. Only in America...do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage. 7. Only in America...do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place. 8. Only in America...do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight. 9. Only in America...do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures' 10. Only in America...do they have drive-up ATM's with Braille lettering. A girl and guy were speeding over 100mph on a motorcycle Girl: Slow down, I'm scared! Guy: No, this is fun. Girl: No, it's not. Please, I'm scared. Guy: Then tell me you love me. Girl: I love you, now slow down! Guy: Now give me a big hug. *She gives him a big hug* Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself, it's bothering me. In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized his break wasn't working but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she would live even if he died. Copy this onto your profile if you would do the same thing for someone you love. This guy is my new hero...please don't underestimate the power of love... 16 THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART!(I would love to do) 1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking. I'm gonna gather up mah four friends and we're gonna do all these and more!!! 37 Things to do in an Elevator 1. Crack open your briefcase or handbag, peer inside and ask "Got enough air in there?" 2. Stand silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off. 3. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves. 4. Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral. 5. Meow occasionally. 6. Stare at another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM!" - and back away slowly. 7. Say "DING!" at each floor. 8. Say "I wonder what all these do?" and push all the red buttons. 9. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button. 10. Stare grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on." 11. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?" 12. Try to make personal calls on the emergency phone. 13. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space." 14. When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you. 15. As you are coming to the end of the journey, get emotional and have a group hug. Tell them that you will never forget them. 16. Ask if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones. 17. Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?" 18. Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!" 19. Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift. 20. Pretend you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers. 21. Swat at flies that don't exist. 22. Call out "Group hug!" then enforce it. 23. Make car race noises when someone gets on or off. 24. Congratulate all for being in the same lift with you. 25. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, all of you just shut UP!" 26. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side. 27. While the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper, "Hide it...quick!" then whistle innocently. 28. Let your cell phone ring - don't answer it. 29. Walk into the lift and say "This reminds me of being buried alive. Ah, those were the days..." 30. Take shoes off before entering. Then look shocked and disgusted when the others don't. 31. Ask people which floor they want, say in 'Who want to be a millionaire' style is that your final answer. 32. Also in your bellboy act, ask what floor they want. Whatever they say, give them a glare and say "you should be ashamed of yourself!", and leave the lift tutting. 33. Ask, "Did you feel that?" 34. Tell people that you can see their aura. 35. When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay. Don't panic, they open up again." 36. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body." 37. Dress up in a long, black cloak with a hood, stare and in a deep voice announce "It is time” When someone walks in. Repost this if you laughed You know your insane when... 1 You laugh at random/sad things 2 You live in your own world and never come out of it 3 You put random food together that should never meet and eat it (ex: Hot Pockets and Little Debbie brownies \(*o*)/ ) 4 TGFOYSIIGOFPUF:UF:Y:DTDURDCI:DESXYIO 5 GAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA :D 6 You’re dangerous and WILL show it 7 You hear the voices too right? 8 You stay up all day and night 9 You would give up reality for fiction 10 You practice your evil laugh 11 You’re proud to be insane 12 You've been avoiding the men in white for years If you said yes to 6 or more of these, you’re insane too! Welcome fellow insane person lets go scar little children for life and laugh at a wall or something my friend! :D OTHER STUP ()() Copy and paste this bunny into your profile to help it achieve world domination. Come Month One- Mommy. I am only 8 inches long, but I have all my organs. I love the sound of your voice. Every time I hear it I wave my arms and legs.The sound of your heart beat is my lullaby. -Month Two- Mommy. Today I learned how to suck my thumb. If you could see me you could definitly see I'm a baby. I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though. It is so nice and warm here. -Month Three- You know what Mommy? I'm a boy!! I hope that makes you happy. I always want you to be happy. I don't like it when you cry. You sound do sad. It makes me sad too, and I cry too even though you can't hear me. -Month Four- Mommy. My hair is starting to grow. It is very short and fine, but I will have a lot of it. I spend a lot of my time exercising. I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes, and stretch my arms and legs. I am becoming quite good at it too. -Month Five- You went to the doctor today. Mommy, he lied to you. He said I'm not a baby. I am a baby Mommy, your baby. I think and feel. Mommy, what's abortion? -Month Six- I can hear the doctor again. I don't like him. He seems cold and heartless. Something is intruding my home. The doctor called it a needle. Mommy what is it? It burns!! Please make him stop! I can't get away from it! Mommy, help me!! -Month Seven- Mommy. I am okay. I am in Jesus's arms. He is holding me. He told me about abortion. Why didn't you want me Mommy? What did I do wrong? Every abortion is just.. One more heart that was stopped. Two more eyes that will never see. Two more hands that will never touch. Two more legs that will never run. One more mouth that will never speak I literally teared up...and I don't tear up...please copy this to your profile if you are against abortion How to Tell if You're a Writer -If you talk to yourself. PLEASE READ. BY: Somebody you need not know I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a cashier hand this little boy some money back. The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old. The cashier said, "I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll." Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?'' The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.'' Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly. The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand. Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to. "It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas. She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her." I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her afterall, and not to worry. But he replied to me sadly. "No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there." His eyes were so sad while saying this. "My sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.'' My heart nearly stopped. The little boy looked up at me and said: "I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall." Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me "I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me. I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister." Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly. I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. "Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?'' "OK," he said, "I hope I do have enough." I added some of my money to his without him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money. The little boy said: "Thank you God for giving me enough money!" Then he looked at me and added, "I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give it to my sister. He heard me!'' "I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.'' "My mommy loves white roses." A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket. I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind. Then I remembered a local newspaper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl. The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma. Was this the family of the little boy? Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the newspaper that the young woman had passed away. I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial. She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest. I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed forever.. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine. And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him. Now you have 2 choices: 1) Repost this message. 2) Ignore it as if it never touched your heart When life you Lemons When Life gives you lemons, throw them back, because I mean really? Who likes lemons? When Life gives you lemons, make grape juice, sit back and watch the world wonder how. When Life gives you lemons, squirt them in Life's eye, and see how much Life likes lemons then. When Life gives you lemons, alter their DNA and make SUPER LEMONS! When life gives you lemons,make apple juice,then laugh while people try to figure out what the hell you did. When life gives you lemons, chunck them at the people you hate. When life hands you lemons, throw those lemons right back at it and tell life to make its own dang lemonade! When life gives you lemons squirt them in life's eyes, then run far, far away. America is more than just an idiot, and he is more complex than the world gives him credit for. Do not stereotype us or hate us just because you don't like someone who's different than you. He's a superpower for a reason. (We made the Soviet Union back down in Cuba!) America is the melting pot of nations. (Who else can say that?) (New York City, Los Angeles, San Francisco...) We're still the only country to have put people on the Moon. (After 40 years!) (Fuck Russia's rover!) If America falls, everyone else does too. (Hello, we buy/sell 1/4 of the world's resources!) We invented Star Trek, which in turn led to the invention of a lot of the stuff we use today. We know more about World History than the world knows about US History. Why do more than a million people move to the US each year if we're such a terrible place? Alfred F. Jones is fucking awesome, period. Please post this in your profile if you agree, and add your name. Lapis Lazuli Ichigo, Ashynarr, 91RedRoses, becky199756, AbgailJonesNY, Americanswede22 Canada is not invisible; he is a bad-ass and even his brother knows it. Just because Britain took credit for a lot of Canada's efforts doesn't mean he wasn't there. Canada is the only Nation that America completely trusts to watch his back. Canada invented walkie-talkies, Standard Time, pagers, telephones, jetliners, electric wheelchairs, prosthetic hands, the gas mask, sonar, basketball, IMAX, insulin, electron microscopes, G-suits, plexiglass, garbage bags, alkaline batteries, cardiac pacemakers, electric ovens, kerosene, egg cartons, snowmobiles, paint rollers, wood pulp paper, peanut butter, and, of course, ice hockey. Eat it bitches! Canada has defeated the United States before. It was called the War of 1812 and it culminated in the White House being burned down by Canadian, not British troops. America is still embarrassed by it and skims over it in history classes. Canada became an organized country in 1867 but did not gain his full independence until 1982. It was done quietly and without any bloodshed... unlike his brother. Canada was in both World Wars from the beginning and contributed far more to the war effort than his brother. They have free healthcare. And they've legalized marijuana and gay marriage. Vimy Ridge - Germany is still afraid of Canada because of the ass-kicking he got from that. Matthew Williams is amazing, and don't you forget it! Please post this in your profile if you agree, and add your name. Ashynarr, 91RedRoses, becky199756, AbigailJonesNY, Americanswede22 List your 10 favorite Hetalia characters in no order and answer the following questions:
What would you do if: 1)Number 1 woke you up in the middle of the night? (America) Be like, America WTF?! 2) Number 3 walked into the bathroom while you’re showering? (Canada) Canada: O-oh! S-sorry… Me: AHHHHH! Holy maple!!! Canada: D-did you just say maple? 3) Number 4 announced they’re going to marry 9 tomorrow? (Sweden and Prussia) Me: BUT SVE!!!! I LUVE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU 4) Number 5 cooked you dinner? (Germany) OH! I LOVE WORST! Wait...that could be taken very wrong... 5) Number 6 was lying next to you on the beach sleeping? (Denmark) I would ruffle up his hair more and end up having a make-out session...yeah... 6) Number 7 suddenly confessed to be part of your family? (Norway) Hmmm...I guess that explains my ocassional moodiness 7) Number 8 got into the hospital somehow? (Iceland) NUUUUUUU! ICEY! WHAT DID DENMARK DO TO YOU??? 8) Number 9 made fun of your friends? (Prussia) sigh* Really Prussia? REALLY? *Kills* 9) Number 10 ignored you all the time? (Italy) Me: I-Italy? I thought we were friends? Italy: Oh no! Please don't be mad at me!! What did I do?! Me: You've been ignoring me!!! Italy: Oh I'm so sorry! How about some 'I'm sorry PAAAAAAAAAAASTAAAAAAA!!!!' Me: I FORGIVE YOU!!! :D 10) Two serial killers are hunting you down. What will 1 do? (America) Probably end up killing them with a shot gun and then whisking me off into the sunset while riding a pony... 11) You’re on a vacation with 2 and manage to break your leg. What does 2 do? (Finland) Probably freak out and go all 'mother bear' and end up somehow healing my leg... 12) It’s your birthday. What will 3 give you? (Canada) Canada: H-here you go…I-I hope you like it… Me: AW! Thanks Mattie!! *opens* I LOVE PANCAKES! WHERE’S THE MAPLE SYRUP?? MOOOOOM, I NEED SYRUP!!!!! 13) You’re stuck in a house that’s on fire. What does 4 do? (Sweden) Saves mah life! And then we'd get married and have like, four kids, and blah blah blah...*Rambles on and on* 14) You’re about to do something that’ll make you feel extremely embarrassed. What will 5 do? (Germany) Facepalm and stand there watching 15) You’re about to marry number 10. What’s 1’s reaction? (Italy and America) Me: America, America! Me and Italy are getting married! America: You're marrying that guy? *points to Italy who is in his own world humming to himself* Me: *Stares at Italy for a second* Yup! America: *Facepalm* Me: What? America: Nothing at all dude, nothing at all. *Walks away shaking his head* 16) You got dumped by someone. How will 7 cheer you up? (Norway) probably show me some magic or something... 17) You compete in a tournament. How does 9 support you? (Prussia) He wouldn't...He'd end up competing too and beat mah butt... 18) You can’t stop laughing. What will 10 do? (Italy) Ask why I'm laughing, and then laugh too 19) Number 1 is all you’ve ever dreamed of. Why? (America) Do I really have to explain? Well, he's: Awesome, perfect, funny, frikin' hot, a badass, a hamburger lover, AND MAH HOME COUNTRY! 20) Number 2 tells you about their deeply hidden love for number 9. (Finland and Prussia) Finland: Oh, hello there, Americanswede! Me: Oh hey Finny! Finland: Um...Okay, I've got a huge crush on Prussia... Me: WHAT ARE YOU MAD?! YOUR SUPPOSED TO LOVE SWEDEN!!! WHAT IS THIS?!!! 21) You’re dating 3 and they introduce you to their parents. Would you get along? (Canada) Canada: W-well…here’s my parents… France: Bonjour England: who the bloody hell is this?! Me: IGGY!! *hugs* England: Gahhh! Get it off get it off! Canada: *Removes me from Iggy* France: Can I have a hug too? Me: YEW BETCHA!!!! Canada: Oh, not again...DA-AD SHE'S MY GIRLFRIEND!!! 22) Number 4 loves number 9 as well. What does that mean? (Sweden and Prussia) WHAT?! NO! NO!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 23) Will number 5 and 6 ever kiss? (Germany and Denmark) HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA nope... 24) Number 6 appears to be a player, breaking many hearts. What do you do? (Denmark) HA! I knew it...Well, i'd probably end up being one of the ones with a broken heart... 25) You had your hair done (Dyed or cut) and 7 can’t stop looking at you. What goes on in your mind? (Norway) Oh shit...he's plotting against me... 26) Number 8 thinks he’ll never get a girl/boyfriend. What will you tell him? (Icleland) Oh, Icey...I love you no matter what...but ya know...as a friend...um...*Slips Hong Kong's number into his hand and runs away giggling* 27) Number 9 is too shy to face you and confesses their love by sending an e-mail. Now what? (Prussia) I'd say: Prussia you idiot, face me like a man!! And, aww! luv you too! 28) You spot 10 kissing 1. How do you react? (Italy and America) Stares* OH JAPAAAAA-AAAANNN 29) You notice that 3 and 4 have been inside that hotel room for MORE than a few hours. What are you thinking? (Canada and Sweden) The worst... 30) Could 1 and 6 be soul mates? (America and Denmark) Well, I don't ship it...but I suppose so... 31) Would 2 trust 5? (Finland and Germany) Probably...considering that Germany must trust Finland not to tell anyone about his Christmas gift... 32) Number 4 is bored and pokes 10. What happens after that? (Sweden and Italy) Sweden: *Pokes* Italy: Hey! what was that fo-AAAAAHHHHHHH GERMANY!!! HE"S SCARY!! Sweden: *Sigh* 33) 5 and 1 are forced to go back to school together. What study will they pick? (Germany and America) Germany would pick literature, and America would obviously pick US history 34) If 6 and 3 cooked dinner, what would they make? (Denmark and Canada) Beer flavored pancakes...duh... 35) 7 and 9 apply for a job. What job? (Norway and prussia) window washing... 36) 8 gives 5 a haircut. Is that okay? (Iceland and Germany) NO!!!! GERMANY"S HAIR IS PERFECT THE WAY IT IS! 37) What 6’s perfect girl/boyfriend should look like; will 6 be happy? (Denmark) ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Probably not... 38) 10 and 9 are blushing while they talk. What is their conversation about? (Italy and Prussia) Germany's hair when it's down...Oh Yeah... 39) 1 accidentally kicked 10. (America and Italy) PFFFT HAHAHAHAHA Italy: Oww! That hurt! Germany!!!! America: *runs into sunset laughing like crazy* 40) 2 sent a message to their bf/gf but 9 got it. What would happen? (Finland and Prussia) Finland: Sve, can u come get Sealand? Finland: Sve? R U ok? Finland: SVE? Oh My God I hope Ur ok! Prussia: Finny! Stop sending me txts! Finland: OH! Heh, heh...srry... 41) 5 and 6 did a workout together. (Germany and Denmark) Oh, man...are their shirts off? *Fangirl squeals* 42) 6 noticed they weren’t invited to your birthday? (Denamrk) Denmark: W-why didn't you invite me to your party? Me: *sighs* I did... Denmark: nu you didn't... Me: Actually I did...you were probably drunk when you opened the letter... Denmark: Eww...I don't read... Me: *Fancepalm* 43) 7 won the lottery. (Norway) Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeey Norway, best-est friend in the world...can I borrow like...half of that? 44) 8 had quite a big secret. (Iceland) Me: Icey, what’s your secret, huh huh huh??? Iceland: No, I’m not saying! Me: NOW! Iceland: *jumps* Okay…sheesh…I-I… Me: yeeeees? Iceland: I actually hate licorice... Me: REALLY- wait wut? Iceland: Yeah... Me: Well, that was anticlimactic.. 45) 9 became a singer. (Prussia) OH! THAT WOULD BE TOTALLY AWESOME!!! 46) 10 got a daughter. (Italy) Aww! Wait...with who? 47) What would 1 think of 2? (America and Finland) He is such a wuss... 48) How would 3 greet 4? (Canada and Sweden) Canada: H-hello Mr. Sweden... Sweden: Hmm? Canada: *Gulps* I-I said hello... Sweden: *nods at Canada* Canada: O-okay! Bye n-now! *walks away shaking* 49) What would 4 envy about 5? (Sweden Germany) The fact that Italy loves him so much, and Finny freaks if he touches him... 50) What dream would 5 have about 6? (Germany and Denmark) Um...a very bad one... 51) What do 6 and 7 have in common? (Denmark and Norway) Absolutely nothing... 52) What would make 7 angry at 8? (Norway and Iceland) Probably nothing really...exept maybe not being called 'big brother' 53) Where would 8 meet 9? (Iceland and Prussia) I actually don't know... 54) What would 9 never dare to tell 10? (Prussia and Italy) That he is madly in love with Germany 55) What would make 10 scared of 2? (Italy and Finland) Seeing what happens when Sweden calls Finland his wife for the last time... 56) “1 and 9 are in a happy relationship until 9 suddenly runs off with 4. 1, broken-hearted, has a one-night stand with 7 and a brief unhappy affair with 10, then follows the wise advice of 5 and finds true love with 2." What title would you give this fic? “America and Prussia are in a happy relationship until Prussia suddenly runs off with Sweden. America, brokenhearted, has a one-night stand with Norway and a brief unhappy affair with Italy, then follows the wise advise of Germany and finds true love with Finland.” “What the hell was I thinking?!” 57) Who would make a better college professor: 5, or 10? (Germany or Italy) Germany...duh... 58)If 10 Wasn't in the Mafia, what would his/her job be? (Italy) CHEF! 59) Describe a sleepover with 4 & 7. (Sweden and Norway) First off, it would be at Norway's house. Sweden would come, but bring Finny along. Denmark would come and crash the whole thing, and make them all play seven minutes in heaven. Sweden and Finland would be in the closet for seven hours, not seven minutes, and Denmark and Norway would sneak off and do some stuffs...so yea... 60) You're out on a fun date with 8 at an amusement park. What would he suggest the two of you do first? (Iceland) Sit on a fjord and watch the clouds roll by. 61) If 9, 3 & 1 were a band, what do you think they'd be called? (Prussia, Canada, and America) The Awesome Maple Hamburgers...*Facepalm* PFFFFFTTT HAHAHAHAHAHA 62) If you wrote a song-fic about 7 what song would you choose? (Norway) If I Die Young-The Band Perry No, I don't want Norway to die, it just...reminds me of him a little... 63) How would you bribe 6? (Denmark) Beer...lots and lots of beer 64) You catch 10 looking at porn on the internet. (Italy) GERMANYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 65) You're lying on the beach peacefully, and then you turn your head to see 1, 2, and 9, by the water wearing speedos. (America, Finland, and Prussia) Calls Canada, Sweden, and Germany* 66) 9 and 1 accidentally get hooked up on a dating website and are forced to go on a date together. (Prussia and America) Um...That's not so bad I guess... 67) It's storming outside and 5 allowed you to stay with him at his place until it blows over. And your reaction to this kind gesture is? (Germany) Aw, thanks Germany! *Snuggles into shoulder* 68) 2 writes you a love song, plays it for you, then kisses you on the cheek. (Finland) 0.0 Finny? Wha- aww...that's a beautiful song...OH! Its about me? Aww... Finny kisses cheek* Me: ASDFGHJKLZXCVBNMQWERTYUIO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(*//////*) XP 69) 2 Is forced to sing karaoke by his friends...and you as well. What song would he sing? And what song would you sneak in for him to sing when he wasn't looking? (Finland) Aww, poor Finny... Probably 'Young love'...I cannot seem to remeber who that's by...I'll look it up later... Hmm...OH! how about 'Be my wife' for Sweden's sake. It's by...um...*sigh* I promise to put it up here eventually. MENTAL HOSPITAL PHONE MENU -Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital. -Please select from the following options menu: -If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. -If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you. -If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6. -If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on the line so we can trace your call. -If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship. -If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press. -If you are manic-depressive, it doesn’t matter which number you press, nothing will make you happy anyway. -If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696. -If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep. -If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. -If you have low self-esteem, please hang up our operators are too busy to talk with you. -If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry. You won’t be crazy forever. -If you are blonde, don’t press any buttons, you’ll just mess it up. Whoever said that nothing's impossible obviously hasn't tried slamming a revolving door. Whoever said "Words don't hurt" obviously hasn't gotten a hard-back encyclopedia thrown at his head before. When the going gets tough, kick whoever made it that way. Behind every great man is a woman shaking her head and rolling her eyes. When you cry, I cry. When you laugh, I laugh. When you leap off a cliff, I laugh harder. If you can't beat 'em, join'em. If you can't join 'em, bribe 'em. If you can't bribe 'em, blackmail 'em. If you can't blackmail 'em, kill 'em. If you can't kill 'em, you’re screwed. Rhetorical questions are persuasive, aren't they? He who laughs last probably didn't get the joke at first. Life is difficult. It's full of trials, sorrow and pain. However, if you fall down, just stand up straight, be confident and say... "WHICH IDIOT PUSHED ME?!" Silence is gold. Duct tape is silver. If you do it, you'll regret it. If you don't do it, you'll regret it. Either way, you're still gonna regret it, so why not just do it? A mechanic once told someone, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder." A drunken man once said this to a cop. "Here Officer, hold my beer while I find my license." Ignorance killed the cat. Curiosity was framed. Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. Best friends for life! ...or at least 'till our next fight. Isn't it funny how a heart shape is just two teardrops upside down? I'm only smiling 'cos I have no idea what's going on. Before Love, my heart was a black hole. After Love, I din't have a heart, I still dunno which is worse. I'm sure someone in this world cares that you're alive... It just isn't me. I looked up at the stars one night and thought, "Where the heck did my ceiling go?!" People say life's short. I say I'm shorter. As an older, more mature adult, your job is to...make fun of the little kids! There are easier things in life than finding a good lover. Like nailing a Jell-O to a tree, for instance. What's the first thing that comes to your mind when you realize that you're on fire? Do you remember to stop, drop and roll? Or do you just start running around in circles, screaming, "I'M ON FIRE!! SOMEBODY HELP ME!!!!" I was never anyone's friend in the first place, therefore I can't be called a traitor. If a safety pin, duct tape or a band-aid can't fix it, then you have a serious problem. Give me a chance to shine and I will blind the world! Three people can keep a secret if two are dead. I'm gonna live forever!...Or die trying. A man walked into a bar and said..."OUCH!!" War doesn't determine who's right, it determines who's left. Come to the dark side, we have cookies! I went to the dark side. Yeah, they lied about the cookies. Dear Dark Side, you may have the cookies, but we have the MILK! I stopped fighting with my inner demons. We're on the same side now. OMG! THE RAIN'S WET! I'm not AD--Ooh, look, a butterfly! ADOSH: Attention Deficit-Ohh Shiny Thing I'm a dinosaur, so, like, rawr and stuff. God made men first, then he had a better idea! Nope, can't go to Hell. Satan still has that restraining order against me... I reject your reality and substitute my own. Women are angels. When someone breaks our wings, we continue flying...on broomsticks. Be the kind of woman that when your feet hit the floor in the morning, Satan goes, "Oh, shit, she's up!" I'm probably the coolest dork you'll ever meet. I'm cute...now give me my cookies. Boys in books are just...Better! It takes skill to trip over flat surfaces. You couldn't handle me...even in your wildest dreams. ADHD writer: Once upon a -- no...There was once a -- no...THE END! . P.M.S: Pissed At Men Syndrome You know you're a geek when procrastination doesn't affect your grades. I had a friend once, but then the rope broke and he got away. The dinosaur's extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings...I was aiming for your face. I can only please on person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow's not looking too good, either. It's you and me versus the world...we attack at dawn. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear intelligent until you hear them speak. This calls for a particularly subtle blend of psychology and extreme violence. When u see a toy poodle run away screaming "It's HUGE!" (make weird hand gestures to emphasize your point). At a library- put your hands over your ears and scream, "The voices won't stop!" (easy way to get kicked out) At the mall- go up to a shopper and stare at them. When they ask what you're looking at, call them stupid for not realizing you were staring at them. At a car dealership- put on a "too happy" smile, and say hi to a car dealer. When they say hi back, scream "PEDOPHILE!" then run. At...well...anywhere- find a guy with a beard, and ask him if he feels like a princess (smile innocently). At a pet store- buy a goldfish, then go around the store grining like an idiot, and explain to people that you've always wanted a pet hamster. At school- ask "Why?" every time the teacher says something. When they tell you to be quiet, write "Why?" on a piece of paper and hold it up. At a voting booth- go up to a bunch of people, and explain the importance of carpet burn. Practicing Freedom of speech is a must Hetalian's Pledge I pledge to think of Italy whenever someone mentions pasta. I pledge to think of Germany whenever I am in the middle of eating a wurst...then I will choke on it and die of laughter. I pledge to think of Japan whenever i am holding a camera or reading about a super-crack pairing. I pledge to think of America whenever I need a hero... or a hamburger. I pledge to think of Britain whenever I see a bunny...or when I eat terrible food. I pledge to think of France whenever I look in the mirror.(The resemblance is seriously scary) I pledge to think of Russia whenever I see a sunflower...or ya know...when I cannot find my faucet. I pledge to think of China whenever I eat sweet-n-sour chicken...or when I look at a panda. I pledge to think of Spain whenever I eat/see a tomato, or turtle I pledge to think of Austria whenever am jammin' away at the piano, expressin' mah feels. I pledge to think of Hungary whenever I feel like I just wanna be a dude...or when i wanna hit someone with a frying pan. I pledge to think of Liechtenstein whenever I see something small and adorable. I pledge to think of Poland whenever I'm feeling, like, totally fabulous. I pledge to think of Switzerland whenever I'm at the shooting range, or hunting...yes I do both... I pledge to think of Belarus whenever I see my crush...or one of my friends when she gets angry. I pledge to think of Estonia whenever I get a little nervous. I pledge to think of Latvia whenever I talk without thinking... or I feel way too short. I pledge to think of Lithuania whenever I am made fun of... or I lose a game of chess. I pledge to think of Romania whenever suck the blood off of one of my many daily paper cuts. I pledge to think of Ukraine whenever I see a woman with HUGE boobs...yeah... I pledge to think of Denmark whenever I see a beer, or when i hear the song Drink a Beer by Jason Aldean...I think... I pledge to think of Finland whenever I hear the word 'Wife'. I pledge to think of Iceland whenever I eat licorice. I pledge to think of Norway whenever I'm not listened to... or I'm surrounded by idiots. I pledge to think of Sweden whenever...well...just whenever... I pledge to think of Greece whenever I take a cat nap. (See what I did there?) I pledge to think of Romano whenever I swear like a sailor. I pledge to think of Turkey whenever I wear a mask...or eat turkey. I pledge to think of South Korea whenever I see anything made in Korea...Opan Gangam style!!!! I pledge to think of Seychelles whenever I find a swordfish. I pledge to think of Canada whenever I feel invisible... or there's maple syrup involved. I pledge to think of Sealand whenever I am overambitious... or sell stuff on Ebay. (LOL) I pledge to think of Prussia whenever I say or hear the word 'awesome'. *I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready-made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you. *Although, chainsaw beats scissors, paper, AND rock! *I am going to put an end to my procrastination problem. . . tomorrow. *If Tylenol, Duct Tape and a Band Aid can’t fix it, you have a seriously problem. *A day without sunshine is like…night. *It’s all fun and games until Denmark gets his axe. You say Twilight *I AM NOT CRAZY! MY REALITY IS JUST DIFFERENT FROM YOURS! *Looking for a perfect girl? Go buy yourself a Barbie doll. *Due to recent cutbacks and until further notice, the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off. *…didn’t need an excuse to go over to the Dark Side… *It’s a stupid idea, I’ll go first. *“There’s a fine line between sanity and insanity and I have whiteout.” *I got lost in thought, it was unfamiliar territory. *I’m not insensitive, I just don’t care. *I like work. It fascinated me. I sit and stare at it for hours. *Men = Beginning of all problems *I’m not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing. 1 - YOUR GANGSTA NAME: (first three letters of your name and 'izzle') 2 - YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (favourite colour and favourite animal) 3 - YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (your middle name and the street you live on) 4 - YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first three letters of your last name, first two letters of your first) 5 - YOUR SUPERHERO NAME: (your second favorite colour, and favourite drink) 6 - YOUR IRAQI NAME: (second letter of your first name, third letter of your last name, any letter of your middle name, second letter of your mum's maiden name, third letter of your dad's middle name, first letter of a sibling's first name, and last letter of your mum's) 7 - YOUR WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (your parents' middle names) 8 - YOUR GOTH NAME: (bloody and your pet's name) Bloody Ashley, Bloody Jerry, Bloody Molly, Bloody thumper...I think this one's my favorite!! 1. This is your captain speaking and I don't feel that life is worth living anymore LO BEHOLD THE LAW OF HETALIA!!! : Heaven is where... The Americans throw the parties The Japanese are the DJs The Prussians touch your junk The Swiss shut you down The Danish buy you drinks The Italians are your personal chefs The Germans don't know what a shirt is The French teach you how to dance The Polish make your clothing The Finnish make you smile The Icelandic are in charge of candy The Swedish are in charge of furniture (Or strip clubs, but ya know whatevs...) And the Russians are Mic Jagger. - if you are a Hetalia fan and you agree copy and paste this to your profile. OTHER STUPID STUFF GOEZ HERE |
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