Name: RAD. I used to post reviews as Yo before I got an account.

Gender: I am an immortal goddess, who surpasses the need for your mortal genders.

Age: As stated before, I am immortal. Seriously, you mortals and your obsession with knowing how many solar cycles each has lived. *rolls eyes* It's ridiculous.

Fav. Color: Blue and Black.

Need to know info: I love constructive criticism. If you read one of my stories and think I can improve on something, please tell me! I don't appreciate just flaming to flame without telling me what I did wrong and how to improve. I'm also busy and a crazy procrastinator, so updates may be the next day, or weeks later. I'll try to update most of my stories at least twice a month. I also love to try the craziest crossover combinations. Ones people think will be horrible. I try them to see if I can make it work. Also because I'll read them, and think I could write a better one, or one that just isn't there. So, you could probably find a bunch of crazy crossovers once I get comfortable on here.

I also write mostly in the summer... which annoys the crap out of myself and my readers (I know how you feel...). Despite being immortal, deities still have parents who are cruel slave drivers with these things they call "school" and "family". They are horrible torture chambers, for those who don't know. They are where I am forced to spend most of my time, alas, sadly, leaving me with very little time to write, except during the summer.

Fav. Books: PJO, The Ranger's Apprentice Series, HoO, Redwall series, Mandie series, A Fighting Spirit, many more belong to this list. I don't even know all of them, I've forgotten the name of the different series.

Fav. Movies: Avengers, The Rescuers/The Rescuers Down-under, and too many more to list.

Fav. Quotes:

"But I thought-" "You're an apprentice, you're not supposed to think." -Will, Gillan, and Halt, The Ruins of Gorlan

"She got in trouble Monday for climbing onto the school roof. We don't even have roof access at school!" "Awe Sarah, you make it sound like a bad thing. There was a tree that grew right by the building, so I just climbed up." Sarah and Alex, A Fighting Spirit

"With great power comes great need to take a nap." -Nico di Angelo, The Last Olympian

"Freeze was underwhelmed, you're overwhelmed, why isn't anyone ever just 'whelmed'?" -Robin, Young Justice

"Am I a troubled kid? Yeah, you could say that." -Percy Jackson, The Lightning Thief

"You're more trouble than you're worth." "I'm a girl. It's my job." -Briar and Evvy, Street Magic

"I'm named for an animal that does not exist on your planet. You may call me... Wolf." "This is Wolf." "Oh, Bear then." -Bear and Connor, Young Justice

"John, you think everything is seventies." "That's because our econemy is head for the seventies again!" Alex and John, A Fighting Spirit

"My people skills are fine, it is my patience with idiots that needs work." - (Idr which character said this), You Can't Be Sad While Holding A Cupcake

"Aren't we supposed to use a more pc word? Like vertically challenged or something?" "I will not call myself the god of vertically challenged people! I am the god of dwarfs!" -Carter and Bes, The Throne Of Fire

"Okay, time for a bed time story." "Sleepy Kittens! Sleepy Kittens!" "No, sorry that book was accidentally destroyed maliciously." -Gru and Agnes, Despicable Me

"Is this how parents live? Do children ask the same questions even after the answers change? Do they question everything out of a person's mouth?" -Briar Moss, Street Magic

Dumb Jokes: "Why did the Chicken cross the road?" "To get to the other side."

"Why did the Turkey cross the road?" "Because the chicken was on vacation."

"What do you get if you mix chocolate pudding and your mother's high heeled shoes?" "Yelled at."

"Imagine you're on an island, no way off, land is miles away, there are no supplies on the island, how do you get off?" "Stop imagining."

"When life throws me lemons, I make lemonade, what about you?" "I throw coconuts at them."

"Once you put an elephant in a refrigerator, how do you fit a giraffe in?" "You take out the elephant and shove the giraffe in."

"Everybody. Supposedly the most brilliant scientist on earth. I think I missed that memo. I don't agree with over half the things he says."

"What do you call a croissant on roller skates?" "Breakfast to go."

"I believe in a free world! One where Chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned!"

"What do politicians and hair dryers have in common?" "They both blow hot air."

"What's a politicians fav. candy?" "Air Heads."

And now, a word from our sponsors!!!!!!

Sammy Swerve and the Oaklympics

Sammy shifted nervously from paw to paw. Today was the day. He watched other squirrels line up and get checked in. There were all kinds of squirrels there! Slowly, he crawled forward and checked in, giving his paw print in mud.

“Ya think ya can win, Sammy?” an older squirrel asked as he took the paw print. He had short red fur that was beginning to turn white. His teeth were slowly getting longer, showing his age.

“I- I dunno. But I can always try, right?”

“Goo' luck, Sammy!”

The young black squirrel waved slightly in reply, before bounding up the great big Olympic Oak.

“You Sammy Serve?” an old female squirrel inquired. Clear ice shards in twig rims sat on her nose, in front of her eyes, as she peered at him from inside a hole in the tree. Her teeth were so long they hung half-out of her mouth.

“Uh, it's actually Sammy Swerve,” he told her.

She peered down at paper on the floor, before nodding. “So it is, so it is,” she agreed, “You're on branch 230 with Connor and Tammy Crash. They're already up there.”

The young squirrel nodded, flashing a smile in her direction, before bounding on up the tree. He kept an eye out for either of his young friends.

“Sammy! Up here!” a voice called from above. He looked up. Connor sat on a branch, waving at him. Sammy climbed up to his friend quickly.

“Hey yo, what took so long?” Connor asked. He had short, red fur and a long, slim body.

“Sorry,” he replied, “Did you see the lady up front?”

“Yeah! Dang, she was long in the tooth, wasn't she?”

“Bet she's older than your gramps,” Sammy challenged.

“Get over here you guys! It's about to start!” Tammy called from further out on the limb. The two young squirrels ran over. She was right, it was beginning. The colored monsters began to come running down the Death Path. Four black wheels that it used as legs turned viciously. Their fat, colored bodies held huge creatures in them. A loud, ferocious roar cut through the air. The first contestant was already sitting out in the center of the Death Path. The monster got closer and closer, but still he didn't move.

Then at the last minute, he jumped out the way. The monster rumbled as two legs slipped off the edge of the Path. With a surprising lack of ease, it stumbled as it tried to get back onto the Death Path. The three judges watched for a moment, before scribbling something down with their burned sticks.

Sammy watched several contestants go happily. He laughed with his friends as the monster swerved and sometimes crashed trying to avoid the small creatures. But as his turn approached, he grew very, very nervous. He shifted from paw to paw, gazing down at the contest below. Tammy finally tapped his shoulder.

“Hey, it's our turn,” she explained, running down the tree, “Come on!” Sammy swallowed nervously, before chasing after her.

Connor raced out into the center of the Death Path and sat up tall. Another monster roared down the path. His tail twitched with anxiety, betraying his lack of experience. The monster got closer and closer. As the car began to move towards the far side of the Path, Connor ran across to that side of the street and crouched nervously, before dashing into the grass nearby. The monster swerved, barely avoiding the area where Connor had been crouching seconds before.

“You're up next,” Tammy whispered, giving an encouraging smile. Sammy gulped as he ran out into the center of the Death Path to wait for a monster to show up. He was looking down the path expectantly when a roaring sound echoed around him. He peered down the Path, frowning.

“Behind you!” Tammy and Connor shouted. Sammy whirled, immediately seeing the monster. It was a short, black monster. In the front of the monster was the youngest two-legger he'd ever seen up front. The larger creature's eyes were wide and fearful. Fearfully, Sammy watched the monster get closer and closer. Then, an idea stuck him. He ran towards the monster. The colored monster swerved, trying to avoid the young squirrel. It swerved off the side of the Path and crashed into a nearby ditch.

Sammy ran back to his friends, heart racing in his chest. His body shook uncontrollably.

“That was terrifying,” he whimpered quietly, “I'll never laugh at some-squirrel for running at the first chance again.” He had to shout into his friends ears to be heard of the roar of approval and laughter.

For the rest of the Olympic Oak tournament, Sammy laid on their branch and either slept or talked with his friends.

“So what would you do if you won the tournament?” Connor asked.

“I dunno. What else can you do except stay at home in your hole?” Tammy asked.

“You could go exploring!” Connor and Sammy exclaimed excitedly.

“You wouldn't have to waste all your time this fall gathering nuts, instead everyone else who participated gathers them for you,” Tammy's brother grinned.

“You could run around and explore the forest, maybe even,”

“The concrete jungle!” the two boys shouted together in excitement. Tammy groaned, then grinned.

“They're about to announce the winner! Come on!” The three scurried to the edge of their branch to listen.

“And the winner is...” the old squirrel lady from earlier called out, “Sammy Serve!” There was a confused mutter that spread through the crowd. A squirrel behind her leaned forward and whispered something in her ear. “Err... Sammy Swerve!”

Sammy stared wide-eyed at her as his friends dragged him down the tree and up onto stage.

“You won! You won!” they shouted, “Great job, Sammy!”

“I did?” he asked quietly. The crowd roared with laughter as the black squirrel took his medal.

The Next Day

As silently as possible, Sammy ran back and forth, leaving a small pile of nuts infront of the two-legger’s house. He was grateful the monster was not home. After several minutes, he sat in front of his pile.

He was quite happy with it. It stood about half his height, about six to eight inches tall. Acorns, Walnuts, and a few other random nuts made up the pile. He had felt really guilty when the flashing monsters showed up and more two-leggers rushed the young two-legger out of his own monster and into themselves. It was much to his surprise and excitement that the two-legger actually lived nearby. So, he was making an apology, the only way a squirrel knew how. After all, everyone needed nuts for the great freeze.

Upon hearing movement on the inside of the two-leggers strange trees, he dashed up a nearby tree. Perched on one of the lowest branches, he settled down to watch.

A two-legger female opened the door, helping the young two-legger out. He looked mostly fine, except for the strange white thing on his right arm. He walked out of the strange den and down the rock pathway.

“Come on,” Sammy muttered. “He’s gotta see it, right?” However, as the two-legger got closer and closer to his nut pile, it became very apparent that he was not going to see it.

Sammy watched, frozen, as the two-legger set his foot down on the pile of nuts. His feet flew from underneath him and he feel backwards. The young squirrel covered his eyes as he heard a yelp. Sheepishly, Sammy turned and ran. With a sigh, he realized something.

“Now I have to find two ways to apologize.”