WARNING - SPOILERS FOR FANTASTIC BEASTS: THE CRIMES OF GRINDELWALD AHEAD. IF YOU FOR SOME REASON HAVEN'T SEEN IT YET, first of all, why are you here, second of all DO NOT READ THIS PROFILE.

WARNING #2 - VERY MINOR SPOILERS FOR LUCIFER SEASON 4 MAY BE ABLE TO BE INFERRED FROM THE NEWEST ADDITIONS TO MY LIST OF PAIRINGS.

So I did a thing and updated my profile. Be proud of me LeTeiiEscribe.

WARNING #3: I have a bad swearing problem so sorry if my language offends you.

Hi! I'm HereForTheNewtina, and I'm a straight young adult female (and VERY proud Hufflepuff) from England, United Kingdom who is currently in her third year of university. I finally updated my profile because it was FAR too long lol. Let me tell you some shit about me. Don't worry, it won't be as long as last time.

"Sorry if my fandom gets in the way of real life. If you ask me, real life gets in the way of my fandom." - Unknown

Favourite Things

Colour: Purple. The colour of my soul, my hair, my glasses and a good half of the lipsticks I own. Also when is FanFiction gonna let us write our profiles in different colours???

Food: I'll eat most things tbh. But I've been obsessed with cheese for as long as I can remember so probably cheese. Also chicken - IT IS THE SUPERIOR MEAT FIGHT ME (also I practically live at Nando's at this point). In terms of sweet things it's gotta be Oreos. Or pretty much any Cadbury's chocolate.

Drink: I've given up alcohol as of 6th October 2019 so in terms of non-alcoholic drinks, I'm a tea addict (living up to my British stereotype - I truly believe that your problem is only serious if a cup of tea can't solve it) that hates coffee with a passion. I also LOVE peach iced tea, raspberry iced tea and mango iced tea. Nothing fizzy though, I can't have it (unless it's Lucozade Energy. Original flavour only). And I'm a heathen that hates Coca-Cola anyway.

Music: Put it this way: 2 years ago I saw Iron Maiden with my dad for my birthday. This year I saw Take That with my mum.

Movie: Mamma Mia. Without a doubt. OBVIOUSLY I love both Fantastic Beasts films and the Harry Potter movies...but Mamma Mia. Always.

TV show: Wild At Heart. Again, without a doubt. If you don't know what I'm on about, google it. It was a British family drama on years ago and I bloody love it.

Fandoms

So this is a list of all the fandoms I'm in. But I only write for Fantastic Beasts.

- Fantastic Beasts (DUH)

- Harry Potter (also DUH)

- Lucifer (holy crap that show is fucking incredible and also has UTTERLY destroyed me. My Absence co-writer, Quills and Swords, got me into it so I hope she's proud of herself. I also cannot get over how STUPIDLY hot Tom Ellis is as Lucifer. Like...it should be illegal to be that hot. And it's going near the top of this list because I have never been as addicted to a show as I am to this. I love it so fucking much.)

- Shadowhunters: The Mortal Instruments (*cries because it's over*) (also why is everyone in that show, male or female, SO ridiculously hot?)

- The Infernal Devices trilogy by Cassandra Clare (I've only read the first two and a half Mortal Instruments books...so I'm VERY behind)

- Stranger Things

- The Dan and Phil Phandom (not a demon Phannie don't worry...)

- Brooklyn Nine-Nine

- Sherlock

- Doctor Who (been a Whovian since the 9th Doctor, but 11 was my fave. Obviously loved 10 because who doesn't love David Tennant, but 11 all the way. Love 13 though, her outfit is so cool I want it)

- The Cormoran Strike book series (and the TV adaptations, but the books are way better) by Robert Galbraith (aka Queen JK Rowling)

- Good Omens (haven't read the book yet - I fully intend to at some point - but I loved the show)

- Line of Duty (aka the best crime drama ever)

- Gavin and Stacey (UK comedy. Most of the country loves it. It only had 3 seasons and finished 10 years ago but in 2019 they did a reunion Christmas special and now there's rumours of a season 4. And to be honest with the way they ended the Christmas special they can't NOT at least do another episode. Also I'm very late to the party, I binged all 3 seasons before I watched the 2019 Christmas special.)

Wouldn't call these fandoms as such but they're other shows I watch

All of these are British crime dramas that my mum got me into so if you may not have heard of some or any of these (especially if you're not from the UK). I do love a good murder show.

- Vera (okay but DCI Vera Stanhope is my favourite TV detective. She just doesn't give a fuck and is UNBELIEVABLY savage. She'll do anything to catch the killer. Also her DS is kind of hot)

- Death in Paradise (Caribbean island plus murder plus funky theme tune plus quirky British detective = a fucking great show)

- Grantchester (hot vicar and a detective solving murders together in the 50s - YES)

- Endeavour (young Inspector Morse could be hot if he lost the mustache...but it's a great show)

- Shetland (murder on a remote Scottish island, VERY dark and VERY thought-provoking)

My fleet of ships

Very obviously, no.1 OTP is Newtina (Newt Scamander X Tina Goldstein, Fantastic Beasts). I honestly cannot express enough how much I adore this pairing. I don't really care about the rest of the Fantastic Beasts plot, I'm literally in this fandom for the Newtina (hence the pen-name). I need this pairing like I need air to breathe and water to drink. Never have I been as obsessed with any pairing in my time as a fangirl.

Another pairing that is officially on par with Newtina (no mean feat by any means) is Deckerstar (Chloe Decker X Lucifer Morningstar, Lucifer). But seriously, this pairing is the most AGONIZING pairing to ship. If you've watched the show (especially if you've finished all of it - THE SEASON 4 ENDING DESTROYED ME) you'll know what I mean.

All of the following pairings are casual compared to my love of Newtina and Deckerstar.

Other pairings include...

- Jakweenie (Jacob Kowalski X Queenie Goldstein, Fantastic Beasts)

- Theta (Theseus Scamander X Leta Lestrange, Fantastic Beasts - WHYYYYY DID LETA HAVE TO DIE???? They had so much going for them...not to mention that Leta was hyped up so much as a character, and was possibly JK Rowling's most complex and interesting character. And then she fucking died. BUT whilst I do not believe she should've died, that doesn't mean I'm in denial about it. She disintegrated in the fire. I'm sorry, but she's very dead. Don't come for me, just the way I see it.)

- Lowkey ship Grindeldore (Gellert Grindelwald X Albus Dumbledore, Fantastic Beasts - I mean, Dumbledore saw Grindelwald in the Mirror of Erised...THE MIRROR THAT SHOWS YOU WHAT YOU MOST DESIRE. If that's not some gay-ass Grindeldore shit idk what is)

- Lowkey ship Rosegold (Vinda Rosier X Queenie Goldstein, Fantastic Beasts...but mostly because I like the ship name. I ship Jakweenie WAY more)

- All the canon ships from Harry Potter (I'm boring sorry)

- Meve (Maze X Eve, Lucifer) although tbh I prefer Mazikeve as a ship name

- Malec (Magnus Bane X Alec Lightwood, Shadowhunters)

- Clace (Clary Fairchild/Morgenstern X Jace Herondale, Shadowhunters)

- Sizzy (Simon Lewis X Isabelle Lightwood, Shadowhunters)

- Maruke (Maryse Lightwood X Luke Graymark/Garroway, Shadowhunters)

- Don't know the ship names but also ship Aline Penhallow X Helen Blackthorn and Lorenzo Rey X Andrew Underhill (both from Shadowhunters)

- Both Jessa (Jem Carstairs X Tessa Gray) and Wessa (Will Herondale X Tessa Gray) from The Infernal Devices trilogy. DON'T MAKE ME CHOOSE.

- Mileven (Mike Wheeler X Eleven, Stranger Things)

- Jancy (Jonathan Byers X Nancy Wheeler, Stranger Things)

- Jopper (Joyce Byers X Jim Hopper, Stranger Things)

- Peraltiago (Jake Peralta X Amy Santiago, Brooklyn Nine-Nine)

- Lowkey ship Johnlock (John Watson X Sherlock Holmes, Sherlock), but I prefer Sherlock with Irene Adler personally.

- Only real ship from Doctor Who is the Doctor X River Song (I miss her) but do kinda ship 13 X Yaz Khan from the most recent series

- Cormoran Strike X Robin Ellacot (Cormoran Strike book series)

- Aziraphale X Crowley (Good Omens)

Crackships

- GoldGraves (Tina Goldstein X Percival Graves) because lets be real it happened at some point before the first movie.

- Newt X Bunty is also a good crackship. To be honest I think we were all Bunty in Crimes of Grindelwald..."Perhaps you should take off your shirt...?" She literally read my mind.

Don't even TALK to me about these pairings

Don't come for me, obviously people can ship who they want, but I just personally don't ship any of the following:

- Any other pairing (excluding my crackships) involving Newt or Tina that isn't Newtina, basically

- Any pairing (from any fandom) involving incest - because it's disgusting. Obviously.

- Drarry (Draco Malfoy X Harry Potter) - just can't get behind it tbh - I KNOW Tom Felton ships it, but I don't care. I don't.

- Dramione (Draco Malfoy X Hermione Granger) - again, can't get behind it

- Jimon (Jace Herondale X Simon Lewis, Shadowhunters)

- Climon (Clary Fairchild X Simon Lewis, Shadowhunters)

- Clizzy (Clary Fairchild X Isabelle Lightwood, Shadowhunters)

- Jalec (Jace Herondale X Alec Lightwood, Shadowhunters...THEY'RE PARABATAI. SO IT'S BASICALLY INCEST.)

- Clalec (Clary Fairchild X Alec Lightwood, Shadowhunters...why anyone would ship Alec in a straight pairing is beyond me)

- Heronstairs (Will Herondale X Jem Carstairs, The Infernal Devices...AGAIN, THEY'RE PARABATAI.)

Fictional husbands

1. Jem Carstairs, The Infernal Devices (my original fictional husband. Everyone prefers Will, and I love Will, but Jem has my heart)

2. Newt Scamander, Fantastic Beasts (yeah I utterly fell in love with him after watching the first film. Who didn't though? And don't try to tell me you didn't because I will not believe you)

3. Lucifer Morningstar, Lucifer (because HAVE YOU SEEN THE GUY?? Need I say more??)

Other shit about me

1. Most importantly of these, I love true crime. Like, serial killers, unsolved murders, unsolved missing persons cases... also I'm a psychology student, so, like most if not all psychology students, I'm fascinated by the way serial killers' minds work - I promise I'm not one. That's usually the first thing people ask when I tell them I love true crime - "Are you sure you're not a serial killer?" Also I love Buzzfeed Unsolved True Crime. Starting to watch that was where my love of true crime came from.

2. As well as true crime I love haunted places - like, I'd never visit one let alone stay the night there (I'll leave that to the Ghost Adventures guys and the Ghoul Boys of Buzzfeed Unsolved, Shane Madej and Ryan Bergara) - but I love watching people explore them and try to make contact with ghosts/demons etc. Am I a believer? Yes. 100%.

3. I am pretty much addicted to the following (not including fandoms):

- Jeffree Star Cosmetics (I own 15 liquid lipsticks - half of which are purple, 5 eyeshadow palettes, 2 lip liners and 2 glosses. So far.)

- Makeup in general

- Nando's (as I said earlier - I practically live there. It's bad. I have been known to have Nando's twice less than 48 hours apart. It's at the point where they don't generally ask me the obligatory "Have you been to Nando's before?" I have a Nando's card from which I have had MANY free meals. When one of my friends and I go into town, we don't even discuss where we go for lunch, we just go straight to Nando's. My driving instructor Nando's-shames me for fuck's sake. That is how much money and time I spend in Nando's.)

- Costa (I spend WAY too much money in Costa. For those who don't live in the UK, Costa is a coffee shop. And it's like a million times better than Starbucks. Fight me.)

- Peach iced tea

- Regular tea

- Twinings Cranberry and Raspberry tea

4. I suffer from both OCD and anxiety. Neither are officially diagnosed, but I have been treated for both. I say 'suffer' in the present tense because mental health problems never really go away, you can reduce their symptoms with various kinds of treatment, but they always remain a part of you. And tbh my anxiety is not the best at the moment. No fucking idea why, it's just bein a real bitch.

5. I love a good cheesy musical film or show - both Mamma Mias, The Greatest Showman (because Hugh Jackman AND Zac Efron, come on), Grease, High School Musical (the second one is the best one FIGHT ME) and also Eurovision. No shame whatsoever.

6. And finally, I love all cute furry animals. In terms of cute furry pets, our family (I still live at home with my parents and my brother) have had two guinea pigs whom we all adored. And now we have a cockapoo puppy. He's beautiful, I'm obsessed with him. He looks like a teddy.

Congratulations, you read the whole thing. Hit that follow button for updates on any stories I decide to post (LOL, don't get your hopes up, they are NOT regular) and give me a favourite if you're feeling nice.

Peace out!