in my first chapter and I read the author comment.
my first impression: ouch... (')

YAAAAAAS YAOI IS MAH LIFE

9 years, 12 months? doesnt that mean 10 years

It's interesting but there are a lot of confusing grammar errors. You use "Early" like a common adjective and it almost never makes sense when you use it. There are logical errors too. For example, in this chapter you said, "9 years and 12 months" but 12 months is a year. Also after you write a quote and describe it, you don't make that part tense. "Usagi frown" is supposed to be "Usagi frowned" for instance. This error is repeated several times. "Slump down his shoulderwhich did not make sense. You mean to say 'slumped his shouldersshould be 'slumped'. "Bianchi smile" should be "Bianchi S declare" sound be "Usagi declared" There are time errors like "Tsuna finally arrived where Mukuro is, with the help ofthe comma should be removedwhere you say he arrived but you also say that Mukuro "is" implying that untill now, no matter where you are in the story, Mukuro is still there. "Leon sudden begin growing, Reborn mention that Leon is producing a weapon for Tsuna as the brunette is no match for the tall pineapple head in his current states." Has many errors. First, it's a run-on, meaning you connected 2 sentences that were complete. After "growingI think you mean glowing) you should've ended the sentence. Then, it's not "mention" and "is" but "mentioned" and "was" because this story is in past tense. After that, a common mistake, "brunette" is used for girls with brown hair. "Brunet" is a boy. last, "States" is a geographical term as in "States of America". You mean "Status". In the next paragraph, after "Tsuna received a pair of mittens from Leon." you should have ended the sentence. This is another run on. Following that, Mukuro is just suddenly there. No walk into his room, chat, entrance, or anything. A little after that you say "He's taking damage from Lancia EARLY and his strength IS not in full power yet. The part this was taken out of is, again, a run on. "Early" implies a messy confusing meaning andis" has the wrong time. The idea is interesting and there's a lot of effort but there are several errors that I'd never finish this review if I tried to cover them all. I suggest a BETA. I don't know if this is your native language but it's bellow average in terms of technicalities. The plot, idea, and effort is great. Better than a lot I've seen even if not a bit jumpy and rushed but the grammar needs work.

Hope you continue this I can't wait on what happens with Usagi and Reborn !~

Wah i was hoping for a rated M scene with tsuna and usagi! Haha

This story is killing so far haha

This is cute in a weird way I like it keep up the great work.

I love this! I Usually wait till the end to review on a completed story but I just couldn't wait to share my love for this story! Hands down THE best KHR story I have ever read! No! The best EVER! And I've read hundreds of thousands of stories on this site!

More please its so good

But this story was really funny sure some of the grammar was bad
but the story was really good

well , sorry again...

and thank you for finished it by the way :3

sorry? well , I don't know if you has posted three chapters before Chapter fiveteen...

anyways , thanks for updating?

I'm dieing to read threesomes lol which include reborn nyahaha. anyway 'siblings '?! I dun mind

...*sigh*

well , its a bit disappointed... and... I'd love to read more about Usagi and Tsuna anyways... oh... and Reborn as well...

by the way , thank you for telling your reader... include me :3