This seems familiar... :D :D :D

New speaker, new paragraph. It’s not just a good idea, it’s the law... of English grammar.

You really, really need to work on your formatting. If it’s not random breaks in the middle of sentences, it’s huge blocks of text with no breaks.

Hey there you really should get yourself an editor mainly because your formatting and punctuation is a bit off and you really need to add pauses and line breaks in order for the story to flow more smoothly otherwise the reader can get a bit frustrated because there are no moments for him/her to stop and properly digest what he/she has just read so you know I hope you understand what I'm saying?

Seriously, though, you have a very good premise, just run it through an editor first.

Also, check out MY take on the Jungle Movie, "Dream of the Lost Summer", here on FFN.

I loved "The Jungle Movie"! I was so happy that Arnold got the reunion he'd longed for! I wonder what else is gonna happen in this story.