i have... NO. idea whats going on. Polis Network, PCU, how people are talking... Is this story written by a non-native English speaker who has never read worm?

okay... first, Hopefully, the author NEVER has any Failure punishments... they should remove that feature completely. Any story with that feature is complete garbage for a simple reason. Punishments for failing quests essentially turn that quests into demands. basically the MC is a slave. Do the mission or else. Especially is quests are mandatory. The only punishments there should ever be are ones that do not need to be mentioned (a.k.a. consequences). Like, oh you wasted your time, effort, you did not get the rewards, and you could have been doing something else.

Honestly, I don't really like this story. It's vaguely interesting enough to skim it now and then.

1) Stop Spamming stats, it's annoying to read.
2) Might as well have written an original fiction lol, this is not worm

Interesting concept!

Very good!

Definitely an interesting story!

It feels like nearly half of the words in this chapter is you copying and pasting your OC’s status screen over and over again. I love Gamer stories, but so many of them tend to focus more on trying to shove the game aspect of the story in and end up neglecting the story itself. Now this story is only one chapter so far, but considering that it seems like you’ve invented a whole new world to play around in, that’s not something you wanna do.
I felt little connection to the character himself because I skimmed through most of the chapter to avoid the Gamer power menu over and over, and it was hard to keep track of scenes due to lack of line breaks. And while there is some precedent, and justification, due to Gamer’s mind, the OC felt like a cardboard cutout who basically exists to be a player character.
Moving on in this story, I’d definitely recommend trying to follow along in the style of story telling that, for instance, the Naruto fic “Gamer Ninja” uses. The main character abuses the hell out of the game mechanic, but the screen itself only shows up a few times a chapter, so when you’re reading it it feels more like you’re reading an actual story. I want to see how you build out and flesh out the totally AU world you’ve come up with, and I want to see a fun new character play around in it. It’s hard to do that when I scroll through a chapter and just see bilder flavor text that doesn’t really contribute all that much.

This story shows a lot of promise! Keep it up!

You can't even write the title properly.. It's C-h-r, not C-r-h

You're paddling your wordcount by spamming stats.

This looks like it could be great! I can't wait to see where you'll take this, gotta say it's really refreshing to read a Worm story that isn't on Earth Bet but still takes place in the Worm multiverse(? I don't know if I should call it that or the Worm universe). Gotta ask though, is this a canon alternate world? Or is this one that your making as you go? Either way, please keep up the good work!

Try spacing out the gamer text

First