Here's how to copy and paste in this site. To copy and paste the previous sentence, for reviews, etc, do the following; 1) click just after the last character - in this case the period following the word site. 2) hold down the shift key. 3) click just preceding the first character - in the case the H of Here's. Your sentence/paragraph should be highlighted. 4 click in the Edit at the top of the page and select copy. 5) paste as usual. The Situation in Hell The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well. Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following: First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives two possibilities: 1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose. 2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over. So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I go out with you", and take into account the fact that I went out with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct . . . leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God." See that girl you just called fat? She is starving herself. You know that girl you just called ugly? She spends hours putting on make-up hoping people will like her. That boy you just tripped? He is abused enough at home. See that old man you made fun of cause of the ugly scars? He fought for our country. See that young boy you must made fun of for always being sick? He has to walk home in the snow cause his family is too poor. That guy you just made fun of for crying? His mother is dying. Re-Post this if you are against bullying. I bet 95% of you won't. Your life is probably not as harsh as theirs. I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian. Re-post this if you believe homophobia is wrong. Please do your part to end it. Girls I saw this on several other profiles and just had to copy it. I don't know who the original creator was, but credit goes to them. Female Comebacks Man: Where have you been all my life? Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Man: Is this seat empty? Man: Your place or mine? Man: So, what do you do for a living? Man: Hey baby, what's your sign? Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Man: Your body is like a temple. Man: I would go to the end of the world for you. Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put "U" and "I" together Controversial Issues: 1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, liposuction and air conditioning. 2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall. 3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract. 4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal. 5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Brittany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed. 6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children. 7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children. 8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America. 9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children. 10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans... Re-post this if you believe in legalizing gay marriage Yes, I submitted and joined the dark side... If you are the kind of person that gets really excited when you get, like, two reviews, copy this into your profile. If you like cartoons, video games, and animated movies even though people say you're too old for them and you don't care, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you don't get all the fuss about copying and pasting things to your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile. MURPHY'S LESSER-KNOWN LAWS: 1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. 2. He who laughs last, thinks slowest. 3. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. 4. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't. 5. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool. 6. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90 probability you'll get it wrong. 7. If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them, five or six at a time, on a hill, in the fog. 8. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it. 9. The things that come to those who wait, will be the things left by those who got there first. 10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer. 11. A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries. 12. The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room. 13. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well. 14. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty. "Copy this bunny into your profile to help it achieve world domination." You know you live in 2007 when... 1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave. 2.) You haven't played solitaire with real cards for years 3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they don't have MSN or Myspace 4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV 6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job. 7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling. 8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends. 9.) You were too busy to notice number 5. 10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5. 11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly. 12.) Now you are thinking, "I have to put this on my profile!" 13.) Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did. ( I so fell for this! I did it in the same order perfectly!) .••) .•).•.•) .•) Sweetness This is really sweet... When a girl is quiet, a million things are running through her mind. When a girl is not arguing, she is thinking deeply. When a girl looks at you with her eyes full of question, she is wondering how long you will be around. When a girl answers "I'm fine." after a few seconds, she is not fine at all. When a girl stares at you, she is wondering why you are lying. When a girl rests her head on your chest, she is wishing for you to be her's forever. When a girl wants to see you everday, she wants to be pampered. When a girl says "I love you." she means it. When a girl says "I miss you." nobody could miss you more than that. Life only comes around once, so make sure you spend it with the right person. Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, and calls you back when you hang up on him. The guy who will stay awake just to watch you sleep. Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead, Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats. The one who holds your hand in front of his friends and is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you there for him. The one who turns to his friends and declares "That's her.". If you read this, you have to repost it, guy or girl, or you will have bad luck for the rest of your life. If you repost this, in five minutes your true love will call or message you. Tonight at midnight, they will realize that they love you. Something good will happen at approximately 1:42 pm tomorrow, and it could happen anywhere. So get ready for the biggest shock of your life. If you don't repost this, you will be cursed with relationship problems for all of eternity. Repost this to your profile, and spare yourself the emotional stress. In Remembrance... …In remembrance of Fred Weasley… …Who fought bravely to the very end…. …And whose jokes will forever brighten his other half… …And will loyally await his identical brother… … with many jokes… ...he's got forever to think of them, right? ...In remembrance of Dobby... …Who was more free and full of love… ...than any elf, and most humans. ….In remembrance of Remus J. Lupin…. ...the last real Marauder... …who was not just a wonderful father… ….a incredible husband and brave hero… ...as well as a totally awesome werewolf. ….In remembrance of Nymphadora Tonks… …who died for ‘the greater good’… ...and would probably hex me for calling her Nymphadora. …In remembrance of Alastor ‘Mad-Eye’ Moody…. …who’s motto ‘constant vigilance’ kept him alive… ...and scared the crap out of some kids too. …In remembrance of Tom Marvolo Riddle a.k.a. Voldemort…. …who was pretty cool, and cute when he was younger… …but who got his bottom thoroughly kicked in the end. …In remembrance of Albus Dumbledore… …whose past and wisdom confused us… …whose seeming betrayal shocked us… …but who actually turned out to be an okay guy in the end... ...despite the whole 'almost killing Harry' thing. In remembrance of Bellatrix Lestrange… … because it’s was awesome how Molly slapped her with that Avada Kedavra... ...she deserved everything she got and more. …In remembrance of Colin Creevey… …who we really didn’t know too well… …but took a lot of pictures and died fighting in a war… …so he must’ve done something good… …besides stalking Harry. …In remembrance of Severus Snape…. ….A Slytherin who died like a Gryffindor… ...without all the red and gold crap. …In remembrance of Hedwig… ...Harry’s actual first friend… ...who lived and died soaring. ...In rememberance of George's right ear... ...whose death wasn't really necessary... ...but caused many jokes, albiet pathetic. Stop stereotypes! Copy this list into your profile and add any more that you can think of. Bold any that apply to you, leave ones that don’t in normal. I'm into THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual I'm weird, and weird is a compliment for me. Copy and paste this if it's true for you, too. If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile. The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away... Post this on your profile if you hate racism If you're a girl and get sick and tired of guys assuming that you're weak and can’t fight, copy and paste this into your profile Month one Mommy Month Two Mommy Month Three You know what Mommy Month Four Mommy Month Five You went to the doctor today. Month Six I can hear that doctor again. Month Seven Mommy Every Abortion Is Just . . . If you're against abortion, re-post this and if you almost cryed post this in your profile. This story is about a little girl that was abused. If you care at all, paste this in your profile: My name is Sarah Child abuse, MAKE IT STOP! Child Abuse IF YOU IGNORE THIS WITHOUT READING IT YOU HAVE NO HEART...BUT IF YOU FIND YOU CANNOT STOP UNTIL YOU REACH THE END THEN YOU MUST HAVE A VERY BIG HEART. Her dad was a drunk She always talked to it Until her parents A bruise on her leg But she grabs her bear She sits in the corner Such a bad life Then one night Then her mom suddenly She thrust the blade The mom walked out Police showed up One officer slowly It must have been bad If this made you cry, put it in you profile. STOP CHILD ABUSE!! This story is about a little girl that was abused. If you care at all, paste this in your profile: My name is Sarah Child abuse, MAKE IT STOP! Child Abuse IF YOU IGNORE THIS WITHOUT READING IT YOU HAVE NO HEART...BUT IF YOU FIND YOU CANNOT STOP UNTIL YOU REACH THE END THEN YOU MUST HAVE A VERY BIG HEART. Her dad was a drunk She always talked to it Until her parents A bruise on her leg But she grabs her bear She sits in the corner Such a bad life Then one night Then her mom suddenly She thrust the blade The mom walked out Police showed up One officer slowly It must have been bad If this made you cry, put it in you profile. STOP CHILD ABUSE!! Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile! I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a Cashier hand this little boy some money back. The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old. The Cashier said, "I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll." Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?'' The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.'' Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly. The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand. Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to. "It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas. She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her." I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry. But he replied to me sadly. "No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there." His eyes were so sad while saying this. "My sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.'' My heart nearly stopped. The little boy looked up at me and said: "I told Daddy to tell Mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall." Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me "I want Mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me. I love my mommy, and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister." Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly. I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. "Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?'' "OK," he said, "I hope I do have enough." I added some of my money to his with out him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money. The little boy said, "Thank you, God, for giving me enough money!" Then he looked at me and added, "I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that Mommy could give it to my sister. He heard me! I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose. My mommy loves white roses." A few minutes later, the old lady returned, and I left with my basket. I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind. Then I remembered a local news paper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl. The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma. Was this the family of the little boy? Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the news paper that the young woman had passed away. I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial. She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest. I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed for ever. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine. And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him. Now you have 2 choices: 1) Repost this message, or FAKE VS. REAL FAKE FRIENDS: Never ask for food. REAL FRIENDS: Are the reason you have no food. FAKE FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr./Mrs. REAL FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD/MOM. FAKE FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong. REAL FRIENDS: Will sit next to you saying “Dang … we really messed up … but that sure was fun!” FAKE FRIENDS: Never seen you cry. REAL FRIENDS: Cry with you. FAKE FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back. REAL FRIENDS: Keep your stuff so long they forget it’s yours. FAKE FRIENDS: Know a few things about you. REAL FRIENDS: Can write a book about you, with direct quotes from you. FAKE FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. REAL FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds butt that left you. FAKE FRIENDS: Will knock on your front door. REAL FRIENDS: Walk right in and say “I’M HOME!” FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will talk shit to the person who talks shit about you. REAL FRIENDS: Will knock them the fuck out! FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Say they are too busy to listen to your problems, but when it comes to them they expect you to have all the time in the world. REAL FRIENDS: Not only kick everything out of their schedule to listen to whats wrong, but help come up with vindictive plans to make you feel a whole lot better! FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Make you say sorry when you want to talk to them at odd hours of the night, or even just hang out at odd hours. REAL FRIENDS: Come right over and hang out with you, until you either fall asleep, or kick them out. FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Would go to your funeral if you were murdered. REAL FRIENDS: Would skip the funeral and go out looking for the murderer and kill him!! FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will help me find my way when I'm lost. REAL FRIENDS: Will be the one messing with my compass, stealing my map and giving me bad directions. FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will help me learn to drive. REAL FRIENDS: Will help me roll the car into the lake so I can collect insurance. FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will help me up when I fall down. REAL FRIENDS: Will point and laugh because he tripped me. FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will go to a concert with me. REAL FRIENDS: Will kidnap the band with me. FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Hide me from the cops. REAL FRIENDS: Are probably the reason they're after me in the first place. FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Let me make an idiot of myself in public. REAL FRIENDS: Are up there with me making an idiot out of themselves too. FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will try to comfort me when my girlfriend breaks up with me. REAL FRIENDS: Will kick my ass until I get it together and will smack her for breaking up with me. FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will help me move. REAL FRIENDS: Will help me move a body. FAKE FRIENDS: Are for awhile. REAL FRIENDS: Are for life. FAKE FRIENDS: Will ignore this. REAL FRIENDS: Will repost it |