good story so far

Adama as the vp? He would be forced to retire

So he skiped from rear admiral directly to fleet admiral ?

But anders was one of the final five, he nas no other active copies other than the one in caprica.

good job.

Not bad. Still have areas where you seem to be going a bit fast. For example, in the last section, you talk about starting the rotation in the morning and then are immediately issuing the orders to start in 10 minutes. Probably need either an additional descriptive paragraph or a page break there.

A little further up you have the following: "Yes Admiral," Commander ? said. Maybe your should give ? a name ;)

Finally, you talk about how big the cylinder is, but your physical dimensions are only about 4 times the size of the Galactica. Based on 'Razor', Scorpio Yards was much, much larger. Not a cylinder but definitely bigger. You might consider doubling the dimensions, just to make the sense of scale you're implying work.

BTW I'm trying to get unstuck on my 'Exodus of Man' fic where I've done something similar to what you're mentioning (thrusters and jump engines) using borehole asteroid mines. I'd appreciate having your thoughts on it.

The cylinder is too small. At a minimum it needs to be twelve kilometers long and two wide. Even at this size it would not hold all of the survivors.

Love

daniel win this.

Nice! Yeah it was better to help them out and fight together.

Eight chapters and the war is already over? There must be some great curve ball up ahead. Great story so far!

Lov

Not bad. Nothing glaring to report... except at the end... Adama is not the one speaking on the Galactica. It should be 'Williams acknowledged, should it not?

Otherwise, very good. A bit fast in places but well crafted otherwise.

Hi Anders is one of the final 5 their is I think only one copy of him and it's on caprice still at this point are you changing that part of the story or was this an oversight?

Was the change from HERACLES to HERCULES intentional?

Try to avoid using rank (or general for that matter) abbreviations in speech or descriptive. People with military familiarity will recognize them, but when reading, they actually break the reader from the story momentarily.

As an example, it took a moment for me to realize that the following wasn't a proper name: "That's good news Col." I originally read it as "That's good news 'Call'" not "That's good news Colonel." Or the earlier example you had "Get me the President and Vice-President please Lt." Again, you meant Lieutenant but the casual reader has to pause and parse it out. However here, an acceptable alternative is L-T, where the reader reads each letter as a word. The use of this form, though will say something about the relationship between the person speaking and the person being spoke about. Quite often, it would not be used to that persons face as it is highly informal and could be considered inappropriate in most circumstances. Also, it is far more likely to be used by an enlisted person under that particular Lieutenant. "The L-T is an all-right guy, but greener than grass."

On a related note, are you reading 'SR' as 'ess-are' or as 'Stealth Raptor'? If you are reading it as the latter, then spell it out, however if you are reading it as the initials, which is quite acceptable in speech, then precede it with 'an' instead of 'a'. This is because if you were spelling 'S' for pronunciation purposes, then it is treated as a vowel.

As a rule of thumb, military rank abbreviations are saved for 'correspondence', such as a character visually reading a letter or written orders. It's a shortcut, like txtspk, that can really annoy some readers.

Finally, caught another amusing autoincorrect. The HERCULES has 'hull' damage, not 'haul' damage. :) (She's not that pirate ship PEGASUS. :P)