omg that was SO GOOD! you should really write more i love the cute family stuff :) !

Do A for an ending (cheesy happy)

GREAT first chapter! So interesting already

If I may suggest a sad ending what a lesson at the end if it's not too late that is the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few or the one should we listen to the story just thought I'd give you stitches not too late thank you the problem is in today's society we have too many Happy Endings have realistic and it might be a nice change because we try to live in the world of Make-Believe too often and that's what gets us in trouble we have a head in the clouds and not in reality a nice really realistic and it would be a good story I'm hoping not too late for the suggestion I'll let you decide how you do it

Are you kidding, this fight scene was amazing! It was like I was reading the script for the end-of-episode fight, complete with cheesy puns, lack of consideration for public and/or private property, an ex machina, and a moment that would make Dr. Phil puke at the sweetness. I was literally hearing fight music and the characters' voices, you did this amazingly!

***** five stars!
You did a great job! I'm going to read your seaqual next! Great story! Love the romance and the suspense! I suggest that you should try to make a story about Terria !

Ahhh that was such a great story! The ending was pretty bittersweet :/ but it all worked out so nicely! You're a great writer, keep it up :) And I actually think that's a great ending... If there's a sequel and Mar'i dies, I don't think I'd be able to handle it

And btw, I appreciate the mention! I'm sure that did take a while XD

Sweet, but sad ending :( I really wish Mar'i could stay alive :(
However, nicely done. I love this story 3

Great story! I loved every minute. Maybe for a sequel you could make it about how Mar'i's parents deal with her condition and attempt to fix it? Either way, its only a suggestion. It could work though. Hope to read your newer stuff!

Thanks girly. You're so nice. You are officially my new ff BFF!

I like your bittersweet ending. You're a modern day Calyspo (character from the Twisted Metal series). Overall your story was interesting to read from update to update.

Noooooo! I wished for a more happier ending! lol ;) But thank you so much for writing this It was wonderful for your first story!

Hope to hear more from you soon!

What the Hell!

Mari did all that work and after all that, her future has been altered and there's poison in her blood, killing her when she's seventeen. That's just dumb! Maybe if she lived until her thirties or forties, then maybe she will do things she can do. Get married, have kids, becoming a great super hero. When she lives up to seventeen, there's nothing she would succeed in life. I'm hoping you can fix this and maybe Mari could live on with her life without that poison killing her on the inside. Get your head in the game!

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! Well, couldn't they travel through time, i dont know maybe 5 years ago and stop Blackfire from enjecting it?!

You should do a squeal and it you need help with it ask. And i dont mean to brag but you my name first witch kind of made me happy :D
This is amazing!