The Warmth: Try To Say Goodbye
By Seabreeze
Author's Note: This story is basically Lyra thinking back on Will (and vice versa) and how it still pains her. It's sad, yes, but we know it's the end of them. Though it hurts me to say it. So they'll meet-somehow. PLEASE please review, and I've changed the order of my story so it makes more sense and is more exciting! Merci beaucoup!
~*~*~*
Lyra walked slowly up to the room they had given her in Jordan College after everything- though she never really thought of it as "her" room. Pan, having finally chosen his shape, curled around her neck. It was dark, but that didn't matter. She and Pan could've walked up and down that blind.
*I don't believe it's time
But I try to say goodbye
But I feel so lost inside
I don't know my name
And I can't erase
What's weighing on my mind
I'm asking myself why*
She was 15 now, and though more mature she was quite the same. Still a bit of a tomboy, still going to school with the other children. The boys, in particular, found her enthralling. But if she ever even thought of going near any of them, something stopped her- Will. Not Will, exactly, but his memory. She could just see his dark eyes staring sadly into hers. What if, she would think desperately, I liked one of these boys and Will showed up? The thought excited her; made her want to like the boys just to see Will. But no, that was impossible. She would never see Will again, ever. As she entered the room, carefully closing the door behind her, she fought back tears. Pan whimpered and nuzzled her cheek comfortingly, but he was sad too. For minutes, she walked around the dark, empty room, trying to occupy herself. Her dark gold hair hung down her back carelessly but out of her way. Pan leapt to the ground and curled up, sobbing. It wasn't long till Lyra couldn't stand it- she was on the floor, holding Pan tightly to her chest as tears made their course down her cheeks. Clutching Pan, she fell onto her down bed. She wanted more than anything to scream and sob until her voice was gone and Will was there, but she knew she couldn't. Some Scholar would hear her and worry. No one needed to know she cried. The only comfort she would've accepted, anyway, besides Pan's, was Will's.
*I try to stay awake
Trying to write the words
I'm trying to write the word
Goodbye*
She stood up, controlling her tears for a moment. Pan shivered against her arms, shuddering as he, too, fought back the sorrow. She walked to her bookshelf, hoping for something to take her mind off of him- but it was no use. She broke down; forehead against the wall as her body shook with silent sobs. Will was everything, three years and still she thought of him everyday and more. Humans usually weren't given love like her's and Will's, and it had been torn away from them.
"Why, Pan?" she murmured into his fur, tears wetting him. "why make us love each other so much and tear us apart?" she wept, cursing circumstances that had separated her from Will. He was so wonderful and good, like warm choclatl on an ice-wind day in the North. And so much more. She would still be sad today if he had just been her friend, or even if not that, but they had to be friends and so much more.
She wept until she had nothing left to weep, and then cried silently without tears or sound but only pain. After a few hours she had cried herself to sleep.
*And I'd give up forever to touch you
'cause I know that you feel me somehow
you're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
and you can't fight the tears that ain't coming.*
~*~*~*
A.N.2: Ok, next chapter up as soon as I get 10 or more reviews. The first song mentioned, Try to Say Goodbye, is an AWESOME song by Jennifer Love Hewitt that reminds me so much of Lyra and Will. The second one is Iris by the Goo Goo Dolls, which is well known but beautiful and fitting. The next chapter is more plot, less depression. Please stick with me!
By Seabreeze
Author's Note: This story is basically Lyra thinking back on Will (and vice versa) and how it still pains her. It's sad, yes, but we know it's the end of them. Though it hurts me to say it. So they'll meet-somehow. PLEASE please review, and I've changed the order of my story so it makes more sense and is more exciting! Merci beaucoup!
~*~*~*
Lyra walked slowly up to the room they had given her in Jordan College after everything- though she never really thought of it as "her" room. Pan, having finally chosen his shape, curled around her neck. It was dark, but that didn't matter. She and Pan could've walked up and down that blind.
*I don't believe it's time
But I try to say goodbye
But I feel so lost inside
I don't know my name
And I can't erase
What's weighing on my mind
I'm asking myself why*
She was 15 now, and though more mature she was quite the same. Still a bit of a tomboy, still going to school with the other children. The boys, in particular, found her enthralling. But if she ever even thought of going near any of them, something stopped her- Will. Not Will, exactly, but his memory. She could just see his dark eyes staring sadly into hers. What if, she would think desperately, I liked one of these boys and Will showed up? The thought excited her; made her want to like the boys just to see Will. But no, that was impossible. She would never see Will again, ever. As she entered the room, carefully closing the door behind her, she fought back tears. Pan whimpered and nuzzled her cheek comfortingly, but he was sad too. For minutes, she walked around the dark, empty room, trying to occupy herself. Her dark gold hair hung down her back carelessly but out of her way. Pan leapt to the ground and curled up, sobbing. It wasn't long till Lyra couldn't stand it- she was on the floor, holding Pan tightly to her chest as tears made their course down her cheeks. Clutching Pan, she fell onto her down bed. She wanted more than anything to scream and sob until her voice was gone and Will was there, but she knew she couldn't. Some Scholar would hear her and worry. No one needed to know she cried. The only comfort she would've accepted, anyway, besides Pan's, was Will's.
*I try to stay awake
Trying to write the words
I'm trying to write the word
Goodbye*
She stood up, controlling her tears for a moment. Pan shivered against her arms, shuddering as he, too, fought back the sorrow. She walked to her bookshelf, hoping for something to take her mind off of him- but it was no use. She broke down; forehead against the wall as her body shook with silent sobs. Will was everything, three years and still she thought of him everyday and more. Humans usually weren't given love like her's and Will's, and it had been torn away from them.
"Why, Pan?" she murmured into his fur, tears wetting him. "why make us love each other so much and tear us apart?" she wept, cursing circumstances that had separated her from Will. He was so wonderful and good, like warm choclatl on an ice-wind day in the North. And so much more. She would still be sad today if he had just been her friend, or even if not that, but they had to be friends and so much more.
She wept until she had nothing left to weep, and then cried silently without tears or sound but only pain. After a few hours she had cried herself to sleep.
*And I'd give up forever to touch you
'cause I know that you feel me somehow
you're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
and you can't fight the tears that ain't coming.*
~*~*~*
A.N.2: Ok, next chapter up as soon as I get 10 or more reviews. The first song mentioned, Try to Say Goodbye, is an AWESOME song by Jennifer Love Hewitt that reminds me so much of Lyra and Will. The second one is Iris by the Goo Goo Dolls, which is well known but beautiful and fitting. The next chapter is more plot, less depression. Please stick with me!