A/N well here we are at last, the final chapter. I've made it a light, almost fluffy chapter, I think you deserve it after the mass quantities of angst and cliffhangers in the rest of the story.

Thank you to everyone who reviewed the previous chapter (moonie912, snuggleUP, reidfan1971, AWChic, , CatalanCats, Casie01, Armand, GottaLoveCM, Lktwh13, Guest, Cupcake, rmpcmfan, RatherBeAWriter, buddyboots and Jareau37)

So yes, enjoy this last little bit :)

Jay and Crow set their trays down and settled comfortably on the floor of Crow's room, with their backs against the wall. Facing the door, of course. They were still getting used to the hospital food but they didn't dare waste it. He looked at her with a small smile as she transferred half of her chicken onto his plate. "I don't think you're supposed to do that." He said, remembering the look of disapproval that had crossed the nurse's face when she had first caught Jay doing it.

"What are they going to do? Beat us?" She replied dryly, "That would undo all of their hard work."

Crow chuckled. He felt bad, accepting her food when she needed it, but the routine was so familiar that it provided them both with a little comfort. In truth he was anxious; all he really faced at the moment was uncertainty. A couple of days ago, a doctor had come to see him. He had said that he was a psychiatrist and he had asked a lot of questions.

How was he feeling? How was he sleeping? How much did he remember from before his abduction? Did he know what he was going to do now?

Crow hadn't uttered a word.

It was that final question that troubled him most. Because he had no idea. He had no family. He had no friends. Were he and Jay friends? He wasn't sure, somehow 'friends' didn't quite fit, it felt shallower, lighter, than what they really were to each other. From what he remembered of friends, most hadn't killed to protect one another. And then there was that kiss before the fight. Neither had brought it up but it played on both their minds.

So no, he had no idea what he was going to do now.

He was drawn from his thoughts by a sudden utterance from Jay.

"How long has it been since you last saw sunlight?"

The question threw him. He had to think about it. All his fights were at night, as were the body runs. The only times he had been outside, it had been dark. There were no external windows in his room in the hospital, or in the corridor that linked his with Jay's.

"Not since my auction in Philly, so… a year and a bit, I think?" He said, frowning slightly, disturbed by the thought. Thank goodness for UV days, when the Watchers would stick the Ghosts in a room with UVB lights and leave them in there for the day. Either way, he knew both of them looked sickly pale, if otherwise fairly healthy. He paused. "What about you?"

"It's hard to keep track. Almost 18 months? Washington… finished with me later than usual." She grimaced slightly. "When they were transporting me back to the compound, I saw the sun rise." At that thought, a gentle smile graced her lips "Do you think… do you think if we asked, they'd let us go outside? Just for a little while?"

"I don't know…" He wasn't sure how they would react if they started asking for things. He doubted they'd be happy about it. Maybe they'd be angry? Perhaps if they asked Morgan? He cared about Jay, maybe he could talk to the staff so that they didn't get into trouble. Of course, first they would need to be able to talk to him, which neither of them could. He was just as paralysed by fear as Jay was when he attempted to speak English.

Maybe, oh what was her name? Emily, that was the one. The drugs they had him on made keeping track of thoughts difficult. Emily seemed to care about Jay as well. He didn't know the others who visited her; they didn't visit him. Not that he blamed them, they didn't have the benefit of history with him. He wasn't good with new people anyway.

Both Ghosts flinched as the door clicked open; both were tense, fingers itching to reach for knives which weren't there. For them the reaction was natural, ingrained, but they could see how it unnerved people. Morgan and Emily were better at masking their unease than the staff.

It was Emily who walked through the door this time. If she was surprised to see the pair of them sitting on the floor, she didn't show it. Hats off to her on that at least. She seemed to have some understanding of what it was like to be a Ghost; she moved slowly and quietly, and for that he was grateful.

Even with the care Emily took to put them at ease, the effects of their lives still showed; Jay shrank backwards almost imperceptibly as she sat down opposite them.

She wordlessly removed a small orange-red packet from her pocket and passed it to Jay, who took it hesitantly, as though surprised to be being given anything.

"I wasn't sure if you still like them…" Emily said softly but Jay gave her a little smile. It didn't really matter whether she liked them or not; the gesture felt like a vindication, like they were Emily's way of forgiving her for betraying her to Doyle.

Emily watched her intently as she opened the packet and placed the first Cheeto in her mouth. Her first reaction was these taste like feet. Why did I used to like them? But as the cheesy snack melted on her tongue with an odd warmth, she smiled. Yes, she remembered why. When she ate another, the flavour wasn't quite such a shock and she began to actually enjoy them.

She opened the packet out and placed it on the floor between the three of them. At the sight of the bright orange puffs, Crow raised his eyebrow at her in a bemused are you sure they're food? kind of way, before reaching out and popping one in his mouth.

Apparently his answer to that question was no: Jay laughed as his nose wrinkled in disgust. His first instinct was to spit it out, but as he glanced at Emily he decided that that probably wasn't a good idea. Instead, his lips twisted into a grimace as he reluctantly swallowed, then pasted his tongue around his mouth, trying to remove any trace of the offensive flavour.

He used the tip of his finger to push the packet so that it rested solely between Jay and Emily.

Even Emily smiled as Jay's blue eyes danced.

They sat in silence as the two women finished the pack, Emily taking one for every four of Jay's.

When the Cheetos were all gone, and a fine dusting of orange coated Jay's fingertips, he looked at her, then tapped his lips and flared his fingers. Should we ask her? He placed his palm on the ground, about going outside?

She bit her lip, then glanced at Emily. She shifted uncomfortably.

"Are you okay?" Emily asked, wondering what Crow had said to make her nervous. She couldn't seem to meet her eye.

After a pause, Jay said softly, though it was more of a mumble really, "Do you think… Can we…" She shook her head and looked at Crow for help. He knew how she felt. Ghosts don't ask for things. Only the weak require more than they are given.

"Umm…" Crow started, his mouth suddenly dry, "Could we… could we go outside." He whispered the word 'outside'.

Emily's eyes widened at their request. "Of course you can go outside" She replied, disturbed that making such a request had made them both so nervous, although now that she thought about it, she wasn't actually sure what hospital policy was on that. Even if they did have some rule against it though, she was certain that between herself and Garcia, they could find a way to have them make an exception.

There was a small courtyard garden in the centre of the hospital, a quiet area where healthier patients could spend time with visitors away from the wards. Both Ghosts were stood at the door to it now, just looking out.

"JJ? Are you okay?" Emily asked, concerned. Both she and Morgan were stood behind them. Jay nodded but didn't turn around.

Her hand shook as she opened the door. A cold gust of crisp winter's air greeted them but they didn't mind; Ghosts are used to being cold. Besides, the hospital staff had helped them into multiple layers of clothing- some of which she recognised as her own from another life. She suspected that a lot of what Crow was wearing belonged to Morgan.

They walked a little so that they were out of sight, each absorbing the bizarre sensation that was walking with shoes on. Who'd have thought something so ordinary, so mundane, could ever feel so foreign?

Moving wordlessly to a bench, they sat down, hating that even the smallest distance had become exhausting, although less so for Jay as she was further along with her physical therapy.

She leaned backwards so that she could stare upwards into the sky, feeling the sun on her face. Beside her, Crow did the same, humming contentedly. It was quiet in the courtyard, apparently immune to the hustle and bustle of the rest of the hospital. There were no machines out here, or people shouting.

Neither spoke, but she shifted a little closer to him and rested her head on his shoulder. He hummed again in response but didn't open his eyes.

"What do we do now?" He asked, his eyes still closed.

"I was thinking that we should find ourselves some vodka, coffee and tabasco." Jay said with a smile.

Crow laughed, the sound echoing around the courtyard. Then he sobered. "You know what I mean."

Her voice was quiet when she replied. "I have no idea."

Emily and Morgan had decided not to follow them out, instead to give them some much needed privacy.

"When JJ tried to shoot Morris," Morgan said suddenly, "you realise Hotch or I, or even you, could have been killed, right?" Emily noted the tiniest hint of anger in his voice.

"Yes." She replied, waiting to see where he was going with this.

"You know all you had to say to talk her down was that Crow needed her, that she owed him. She'd have dropped the gun in a second, if she thought it meant she was protecting him."

"Yes, I know." She said calmly.

"Then why the hell didn't you?" He said, his anger now evident.

His anger was justified; she had taken a risk, a risk that, had it not paid off, could have resulted in one of them being seriously injured or even killed. Frankly, given that the incident had been two weeks ago, she was surprised he hadn't brought it up sooner. Emily sighed.

"Because she needs to keep going because she wants to, not because she feels she has to, or because someone else needs her to. She needs to live for herself, not for him, or us. They tell themselves that living is a choice, but your reasons for making that choice are just as important as what you're choosing."

A/N well thank you to all of you who have stuck with me until the end, I know I haven't made it easy for you ;) I'm not sure when I'll be back with the second half but keep an eye out for it and hopefully it'll live up to expectations.

Update 01/11/15 Sequel is now up, it's called To Live is to Choose Hope, so go check it out :)