"It's… Good."

Levi drums his fingers on top of the bar as Hange slides the small stack of papers across the table with an elusive smile. But Levi knows Hange- probably too well for his own good- and that look in their eyes never has and probably never will spell anything "good" for him. He considers not asking, but if anyone could be brutally honest while still being cheerful about it, it was Hange- so he does anyway.

"Good?"

They sigh, leaning back in the stool before waving the bartender back over to order anottheir drink. "Yeah, good. Oh- come on, Levi, don't give me that look." Hange arranges the scattered papers, waving them in front of his face before he swats it away. "Listen, it really was good. Your writing is always good. Once you wade through the spelling issues and bad handwriting—which is my job, anyway—the plot really draws you in. Refreshing, creative, everything someone looks for in a novel."

Levi sucks in a breath, shoving the papers back into his laptop case. "So what's the issue then? Just good? What's dragging it down, Hange, and don't tell me nothin-."

"Your characters suck."

Blunt as always. Levi tsks and opens his mouth to respond, but Hange holds a hand up. "No, no, wait. Listen to me for a second, editor to writer."

"You can do better than this. Everyone knows you can do better than this, Mr. National Best Seller. I know it's hard to live up to that. The pressure was what caused your writer's block in the first pl-"

"I told you, I'm over it."

"Of course you are. I gathered as much from that rough draft—Oh thank you, that was fast." They pause to sip at the neon green ooze from the glass. Levi doesn't break his gaze.

"Levi, look. What you just showed me? It was good! It was! But it wasn't Levi good."

He must have looked disgruntled then, because Hange shoves their hand into his face again to stop any retort.

"I know it was an early draft, and I know how self conscious you are of those. But after bugging you for a week just for that manuscript, I just wanted you to know what I really thought!"

Levi folds his arms primly and gives them a flat look as they continue.

"You could have replaced the characters with wooden planks and it wouldn't have made much of a difference. You're working with living, breathing, feeling humans. Give them character! Personality! Fears! Hopes!" They cry, hands flailing wildly. "Write people as, well, people! Not just words on paper."

His face stays stoic. "So inject a few sentences to describe them better, is what you're saying."

"Mmph!" Hange shoves a pointer finger in his face as they empty the glass. "No, Levi, No! You're missing the – Hey could you bring me another one of these? And give me one of those paper umbrellas, a pink one! – You're missing the point!" Hange turns to Levi and clasps their hands in their lap, pondering slowly past the slowly thickening haze of alcohol.

"Now, you might kill me if I say this..."

"Then don't say it." He suggests, staring at the brunette who was toying with the pink umbrella of their refilled drink. "And you should really go easy on the alcohol, Hange, because I'm not peeling your ass off of the pavement again."

A snort. "Actually, this one's for you, because you need it." They insistently slide the drink toward him, grinning. "Also, I'm going to say it anyway. Because I care. Anyway-"

"I swear to god, Hange, if you say 'don't tell, show' or any variation-"

"Three pages of purple prose isn't going to make the character more real, Levi." They declare decidedly. "And three books of purple prose just make the Twilight trilogy." Levi snorts into the limey concoction as Hange concludes. "So yeah. Don't tell, show."

Levi lets out a frustrated groan, picking the glass up and taking a long drink before slamming the empty glass back down. "I fucking hate you. Now I'm really not helping peel you off the pavement if you get sloshed."

"Aww, Levi, your mean words… They hurt so good…!"

He gives them a slight shove, almost hard enough to knock them off the stool. "Knock it off, freakshow, before I leave you here with the tab. I've heard that piece of advice at least a million fucking times."

"Ouch! Oh, Levi, after everything I've done for you? You wound me so." In a span of a blink, the playful grin drops back down into a serious gaze as they furrow their eyebrows. "Seriously, though. If you've heard it so many times, then you know exactly what you need to do."

"Yeah, yeah." Levi slaps some money down and stands up. "I gotta drive back home, so I'm heading out of here before you buy me more drinks." he pauses for a minute, fishing his keys out of his slacks. "... Thanks for your help. If you need a ride, call me."

They salute him. "Just another day as the best editor in the world! Also, I think I'll be fine. I'm leaving after this."

He frowns, but starts toward the door anyway. "If you're sure. I'll fix the writing up and call you whenever."

"Have fun!"

"Don't I always?"

x

His notebook is open the second he gets home, as he heads straight for his desk and hunches over the paper. His pen is scribbling so fast over the lined paper that he wonders for a moment if even Hange would be able to read the writing, before his mind is blank again except for the image of his characters.

Wooden planks. He thinks ruefully. He honestly hadn't been that focused on the characters, and apparently it showed. The plot, the plot, the plot - He toils through the familiar steps. He sets the stage, paints the backdrop, hangs the fucking moon in the sky. The plot, the plot the plot. He hammers the foundation in place, throws on the lights, and tears the red curtains apart to reveal, at last, a towering castle with its insurmountable walls that hide the most despicable of corruption. He exposes the sins of the insignificant creatures, and smites them as he goes. He is their God, their almighty Creator! He thinks, as his fingers still and the pencil stops its mad scribbling.

He is nothing but a puppeteer of wooden planks.

Write people as, well, people! Humans, he seethed, just his luck that he was born a species he was never too fond of. He wasn't a recluse, by any means. He had parties to go to, interviews, book signings. But everyone there was background noise. He's never been known for being friendly or welcoming, and he intends to keep it that way. It's worked all this time, hasn't it? If anything, his cold personality boosted his popularity. Mysterious, they called him.

Don't tell, show. If he's heard it once, he's heard it a million times, just as every other writer has. But real people were complex, harder to force to life. How many people could he say he truly knew? He counts them on one calloused hand. Isabel, Farlan, Hange. Erwin. Sort of. Who else?

He doesn't dwell on it for too long. If complexity is what Hange wants, complexity is what they'd get. Starting with the main character. He had brown hair, green eyes, before. But now... Fiery green eyes, filled with passion. Messy brown hair, constantly drawn in eyebrows that seemed overly thick. Personality…

No more generic hero. A kid with black-and-white morality. Not evil, but not purehearted, but not...

Not…

Again, the pencil halts.

Another roadblock. Another frustrated sigh, because the image is already leaving. What he has sitting in front of him is just a bunch of messy notes, appearance and background and personality- with personality being the least written in.

He's stuck, like he always is when it comes to complex characters.

Levi Ackerman, New York Times bestsellings author, lays his head down on his paper in frustration, and sleeps.

x

"Hello, uh.. Sir…"

Levi grunts, shifting slightly. The image was leaving him again, just a few more seconds and he'd have it captured-

"You're drooling on your writing, dude."

With an annoyed noise, Levi lifts his head up from the desk and wipes the thread of spit from his mouth. Just who the fuck was waking him up-

In… His house.

The realization of a stranger standing near him is enough to jolt him into consciousness, blood running cold and pumping all too fast simultaneously. He flicks his eyes to the side fast enough to just to determine the position of the person-

And he attacks. He kicks the chair back and ducks, right leg sweeping to knock the intruder down quickly. He moves quickly. The other person has just enough time to land with a loud thump and a rough "Ow!" before Levi pounces on him, slamming the intruder's head into the tiles and pinning his hands to his back.

"What the hell-"

"Who the fuck are you and what are you doing in my house."

Levi's voice is still thick with sleep as he hisses at the other man. Boy. The intruder can't be older than twenty, he thinks. All he gets as a response is a low groan.

"Answer me!" He commands, squeezing the pinned wrists tighter.

"Ow, ow, ow ow – Fuck – I don't know!"

"You don't know who you are?" Levi grits his teeth, eyeing the phone sitting on the desk. If he just knocked this idiot out…

"No, no! I know who I am, but I don't know- Ouch, shit! I don't know what I'm doing here! I don't even know where here is, asshole!"

"Wow, you sound so convincing." Cheeky shit. "Name. Before I knock you out and call the cops."

"Ugh- Eren! Eren Yeager."

The name catches him off-guard, surprises him so much that he releases Eren's wrists and watches as he snatches them back, rubbing them while scuttling off and staring at Levi like he's the psycho who just broke in. Levi narrows his eyes, standing up.

"Did Hange put you up to this?"

"Who?"

He clicks his tongue, annoyed. "Listen, kid, I don't know how much they paid you but you can deliver the message that their practical joke is 'not funny' and that I'm going to kick their ass."

The pure confusion in his eyes suddenly makes Levi doubt his own theory. Staring at Eren again, he slowly rises to his feet and reaches for his phone, never taking his eyes off of the other, even as he dials Hange's number.

Within a few rings they pick up, and Levi growls into the phone. "Hange, this isn't fucking funny."

"What, calling me at 9am on a Sunday when I'm trying to sleep off a hangover? Agreed."

"No, you douchecanoe, this fucking actor you sent to my house." A pointed glare has Eren shrinking even further back than before. "I probably injured him, too, so you're paying for those bills."

There's a pause on the other end of the phone before they speak again. "Levi, I have no idea what you're talking about. Are you okay?"

Levi grips the phone, scowling. "... You didn't send anyone to my house?"

"Oh, Levi, have you finally lost it? Do you need me to come over? Because I can make an emergency trip, just let me take some Advil-"

"No, I… I need to go."

"Le-"

Click.

Eren gives him a dirty look. "I told you nobody sent me here."

"Then how the fuck did you get in?" the phone is still in his hands, he could call the police at any time.

"How should I fucking know? I was just… here!" the brown haired boy snaps, finally rising to his feet. Levi finally takes in his features- Messy brown hair, fiery green eyes, thicker eyebrows slightly arched in-

He can't help himself as the next words slip out.

"Do you have a sister?"

The question seems to catch Eren off-guard, taking the scowl off of his face. "I… Yeah? Kind of, anyway... Oh, do you know Mikasa?"

Levi sucks in a breath, gripping the office chair. He looks back at Eren, pinches himself, blinks three times. And he was still there.

"This is it. Isabel always said my imagination was going to literally drive me insane one of these days. This is it. They're going to check me into a hospital."

"... Are you alright?"

Levi closes his eyes. "You are a figment of my imagination. Go away."

"You sure? I feel pretty real, myself."

"Yes, I'm sure! Look-" he turns around to grab the notebook he was writing on, holding it up in front of Eren's face. "At this."

Eren squints, reaching out to hold it. "Uh… I… Is this even English?"

Levi snorts, snatching it back. "Some part of me you are, you can't even read my handwriting."

"Stop saying that, it's kind of freaking me out."

"Oh, freaking you out-"

He doesn't have time to finish the sentence, as Hange bursts through the door, looking slightly out of breath. When they lift their head back up to say something, they pause, eyes flicking back and forth between Levi and Eren.

"... Were you drunker than I remember, Levi? Bringing someone home last night..." They straighten themselves up, smiling wide. Levi scowls.

"What? No. And wipe that weird look off your face about that, that's-"

He pauses, as the realization that Hange just acknowledged Eren hits him.

"... You can see him?"

"Of course, why? Or.. Oh, do you want me to pretend like I didn't see anything? Of course, of course, your little night together can stay under wraps." They wink at Eren, and he returns a slightly weirded out look back.

"Stop- Stop assuming that! Nothing happened last night." He retorts loudly, his voice cracking like he was thirteen all over again. Hange turns and just stares at his outburst. He sighs. "So he's real. Fuck."

Hange smirks again. "Wow, must have been one vivid dream-"

"No more sex jokes Hange. Enough." he warns, and they fall silent. "... I'm going to tell you something, and you're not going to believe me."

"Try me." they say, rocking back on their heels. He rolls his eyes.

"I think I made him up. I wrote him."

Their eyes flicker back toward Eren for a moment, before softening. "I know I said some harsh things about your characterization last night, but Levi…"

He gives an irritated sigh. "I told you you wouldn't believe me. Eren, introduce yourself."

Eren's eyes widen, hesitant. "Uh…"

Levi pinches the bridge of his nose. "Just do it. Or else I will call the police and report a breaking and entering." It's a lie, but it seems to do the trick. Slowly, Eren turns toward Hange.

"I'm Eren Yeager, 18 years old. I uh.. Don't know how I got here."

It's a lame introduction, but seems to do the trick. Hange freezes, face impassive for a few minutes before turning toward Levi with a deathly serious tone in their voice. "Is he real?"

"Would I have called you, asking if you hired him earlier if he wasn't?"

They stare at him for a few more minutes, gauging his seriousness, before a wide smile breaks out on their face.

"Levi, this is…"

"Really weird, I know-"

"So cool! I always knew you had a special talent, but this, this is something else!" They pounced across the room toward Eren, faster than Levi could even do anything. Grasping his hand, they shook it and beamed. "It's so nice to be able to meet you, Eren! I knew Levi had it in him to create a realistic person. He took it so far above and beyond though!"

Eren looks caught between laughing and running, and Levi watches distantly, as though everything was happening in slow motion. It was like a train going 200 miles too fast off a cliff. But worse.

They release his hand, leaning closer to completely invade his personal space. "And wow! Every last detail is great. Perfect, even. See, Levi? This isn't just 'good', this is amazing! You're… You're like a God! You created him!"

The uncanny sense of déjà vu doesn't have time to sink in when Levi notices Eren gaping at him.

"Father?" He whispers

"What?" Levi squawks

"You've changed so –"

"Wow Levi, I know you were secretive about your past, but an illegitimate child, that's – "

"No. Stop talking. Both of you".

Levi sinks down into his chair and thinks. Was it the voodoo lady he flipped off last week? The drink he had last night? This kid - unless someone had somehow gotten a hold of his writing and was impersonating the character - was the same one he wrote down on paper, down to the very clothes he was wearing. He was exactly as he had pictured him inside his head.

What the hell was going on?

Levi glances back to Hange and Eren, the latter looking a lot more freaked out than before. With a sigh, he grabs Hange by the ponytail and pulls them back.

"Editor-Author meeting. Now."

Hange sends an apologetic glance towards Eren as Levi drags them off, to which Eren only looks relieved. Just before completely disappearing, Levi pauses and says, "Don't go anywhere."

Eren gives him a shrug. "Where would I go?"

Levi squints at him. "I don't care. Don't leave this room."

Once he's sure they're a decent distance away, Levi releases the other and scowls. "What the fuck do we do with him?"

Hange gives him a nonchalant shrug. "Keep him around the house. You could use more friends anyway."

Levi smacks a hand on the counter with frustration. "'Keep him around the house?' He's a teenager, Hange! A barely legal adult, not a fucking poodle!"

They give him a flat look. "Are you going to send him on the street, Levi? I bet he doesn't have a dime to his name. And if he's from the time period of your story," they intone "he won't get further than the elevator before he starts panicking". When Levi doesn't respond, Hange simply grins. "Besides, this place is too huge for just you. It won't hurt to have someone else around."

"I don't want to be a babysitter."

They sigh and roll their eyes. "Fine then, there's a cafe down the street that's hiring. He can work there, and pay you rent. Think of it more like a roommate, if you have to. … Do you think you could make more of them?"

Levi stares. "Oh god, you've finally snapped."

"Don't be like that! Eren has a sister, right? And that rival of his- you had a lot of characters, actually, they were just dull as all get-out. This could be great for your writing, Levi!"

"Am I going to run a petting zoo of teenagers here then? I don't even know how I got him! Or maybe, wait, maybe…"

"What? What? Tell me!"

"I did this really detailed paper, outlining his personality, background, and appearance last night." Levi groans, running a hand through his hair. "Think maybe if I ripped up that paper I could get rid of him?"

"Don't!" Hange puts their hands out in front of them, shaking their head. "I'm telling you, this will do wonders for your writers block. Also it's… Kind of cruel, don't you think? To just take away his consciousness when he's obviously real?"

He sighs, irritated. "This is your fault, you know."

"It'll be fun, trust me."

x

"I'm going to let you stay here."

After Hange was gone, Levi finally finds himself trying to talk to Eren alone, this time without thinking that one of them was either crazy or a burglar. Eren simply scowls at the statement, crossing his arms.

"So long as you don't try to smother me in my sleep"

Levi decides to ignore that and continues "You have amnesia, right? No recollection of what happened or where you are?"

Eren is silent, averting his gaze. Levi nods once.

"Well,. I don't mind sharing this big ass house with you, but there are a couple of conditions." when he gets no response, Levi continues, numbering them off with his fingers.

"Number one: Clean up after yourself. It's the most important rule. See how clean this house is?" he gestures around as Eren's eyes flit around the room. "That's how clean it's goingto stay. Number two: There's a cafe down the street hiring right now. Tomorrow, I want you to go apply there so you have something to do. When people hang around, they make a mess. You need to get out of the house and my hair sometimes. Number three: Stay out of my way when I'm writing. That's literally it, can you follow that?"

A curt nod from Eren gives him his answer. He slumps back in the chair, releasing a sigh. "Fuck, what a day."

"... Did you really make me up?"

This catches Levi's attention again. He frowns. "Huh?"

"Did you really make me up? Everything about me? My friends, Armin, Mikasa, even Jean… None of it's real? Nobody?"

Shit. The crestfallen look on Eren's face is almost painful. Levi looks down at his hands as he answers.

"Yeah. They're all-including you-part of a book I was working on. Characters, specifically."

"So you know everything about me?"

"Technically."

Eren is quiet for a moment, and Levi thinks maybe he's going to try and leave anyway. But finally, he speaks up again. "So everything I know is a lie. I don't even have friends."

When Levi doesn't answer, Eren stands up from the couch and stretches. "Uh, sorry. You said my bedroom was the first one on the right?"

"Yeah. Across the hall from the bathroom."

Eren nods. "Cool, thanks. I'm gonna go to sleep early, I think. See you tomorrow. Night... Levi."

Once he's down the hallway and Levi hears the door click, he lets out a sigh, staring at the notebook and pen on his desk warily. Man, what the fuck was he thinking?

"... Goodnight, Eren."

x

Mikasa Yeager, he writes, and then stops.

Mikasa Ackerman.

He takes a deep breath.

"Standing at 5'6, the first thing you might notice about her is a worn, red scarf around her neck…"

He toils through the familiar steps.

A/N: buckle up friends we're in for a ride.

as always, thank you teajing at tumblr for being an amazing beta and inserting in the funny, hilarious shit you do.