Chapter 1 - Returning to District 12

I instinctively close my eyes as the light shines through it.

"Please open up Peeta, this won't take long." Dr. Aurelius says calmly. I open my eyes and he flashes his torch again. He checks dilation of my pupils by changing intensity of his torch-light. I don't understand what he is looking for; I know the problem is not in my eyes, it's in my mind. I don't complain however, I just want to get this over soon. I have a train to catch.

After few minutes of examination, he turns off the light and starts scribbling something in his pad.

"It's all good, Peeta." He tells me. "When was your last fit of flashbacks?" He asks.

"About a month ago." I reply quickly.

"And you still want to go back?" He questions. This is like the hundredth time he has asked me this.

"Yes." I say exasperatedly. "Doc, I want to start my life again and that's my home. I need to go back."

"I know that, Peeta." He says patiently. "But you know that circumstances will be different there. Your district is ruined, your home, your bakery, your family ... ", he sighs. "Peeta, you haven't been there since the bombarding and then there's Katniss. We don't know what might trigger the fits again." He speaks stressing on key words. He wants me to absorb all the information which frankly I have heard a million times. "Honestly speaking, I am a bit skeptical." He says frowning.

"But I am doing so well," I say quickly. "I always know beforehand when I am going to have a fit and I can deal with them. I can separate false memories with real ones and I have your pills to subside the after effects." I say all in one breath. I need to convince him. "And even if I stay here for another month, nothing is going to change, I'll still have to deal with everything you said whenever I go back, so what's the point in delaying."

"Well I always think you should just stay here and start a new life rather than go back to that forsaken place but I know ..."

"That's not an option, Doc." I cut him in between.

He sighs again. "OK, If you insist, I am going to sign your release papers, but I'll be constantly talking to you on phone. And if anytime you feel you are not able to handle things, you let me know and I'll arrange your return. OK?"

"OK"

"Tell Katniss she needs to talk to me. I can't pretend that I am treating her if she doesn't even pick up the phone. When is your train?"

"In an hour."

"Well then there is nothing left except this." He puts his hand in his pocket and takes out a tiny box. I take it and open it and a small pearl is sitting inside it. I know right away its the same one I had given to Katniss during the Quarter Quell.

"How did you get this?" I ask him.

"It was stuck in Katniss' uniform when she got burnt. They gave it to me when I started treating her. Now, you can give this back to her."

"Why didn't you give it to her?"

"I guess I forgot." He answers with a shrug. "Well, take care now, Peeta and keep in touch." He offers his hand. I shake it suddenly feeling overwhelmed. This man has done so much to help me ... and Katniss as well.

"Thanks for everything, Doc." I say.

"Anytime."

I don't have much baggage to collect from my hospital room. A backpack containing a folder of my sketches, my pencils and colors, a small medicine kit and my wallet having some money. I keep the pearl box in my pocket and ride down the elevator to the reception. I give my releasing order to the receptionist and walk out of the hospital. A short ride from hospital and I am at the train station. I already have ticket for my train and I hurry up inside my reserved compartment. No one recognizes me at the station or in the train. May be its my burn scars or may be people in Capitol are actually busy doing something worthwhile this time around. Whatever it may be, I am happy to be just another anonymous passenger in the train.

As the train starts to move, I take a blank paper and some pencils out and start sketching. This is like a therapy for me. It calms me and keeps my mind from wandering. And I can keep doing it nonstop till I get so exhausted that I can no longer keep my eyelids open. Often that's the only way I can get to sleep. I sketch mundane things, plants, flowers, animals, buildings, furniture and just about anything except people.

An attendant brings my dinner to my compartment and I eat little. I instruct him to wake me up when District 12 is close. I am not sure when I doze off but I am awaken when we are at the outskirts of 12. As the train slows down, a fear grips my heart. I haven't seen this place since July of last year and it's almost end of March. What will I find here except ruins? I guess they didn't harm the station as they still needed a way to access the District. I get out of the station and hire a car to take me to my home in the Victor's Village.

I know that they have started cleaning up some places, few people have returned and some new construction is on the way but nothing has prepared me for the sight that lays before my eyes as I travel by. No building is visible anywhere not even the Justice Building, everything has been bombarded. No town, No merchant's area, no seam, not even the meadow is recognizable. And since the train reaches very early, there is not a single person in sight. This is what they have done, turned my home into ashes, the whole district gone. A heaviness seeps into my heart and I close my eyes. If I see anymore, it might trigger my flashbacks.

The car drops me outside the Village's gate. As I walk towards my house, I see other houses are occupied as well. Well, people need a place to stay as they rebuild our district and I am not the one to complain. Even though the Village was not touched by bombs, its barrenness is something that strikes me as painful. Before the bombings, there was greenery everywhere in the community and beautiful flower beds all around. The beds are gone now and the green has become grey. The Spring hasn't touched this place yet.

And that's the first thought I get, I need to bring some color around here. I dump my backpack in front of my house and turn around walking towards the woods. I walk by the edge of the Meadow. It's barren as well. As I near the electric fence which I believe is not powered anymore, I suddenly see the little scruffy bushes. One of them has a recent bloom of couple of flowers. Primroses, so apt. I look around and see few wheelbarrows lying near a large pit in the Meadow. There are spades as well. As I reach near the pit, I couldn't help but take a peek inside it. Its filled with bones. I quickly turn around and take a wheelbarrow and a spade with me. Then I carefully uproot the five bushes and put them in the barrow.

I start digging in front of Katniss' home under the window. After months of lying around in bed, my body is not used to such physical labor. But I welcome the pain, maybe I will get the sleep today without sketching. After a while, I hear the front door open and someone is running towards me. I am bending down and a pair of legs come in my view as they stop suddenly. I know without looking up that Katniss is standing in front of me. My heart starts to beat faster and I am not able to look up to her face.

"You're back," she says.

"Dr. Aurelius wouldn't let me leave the Capitol until yesterday," I say trying to calm my breathing. "By the way, he said to tell you he can't keep pretending he's treating you forever. You have to pick up the phone." I slowly lift my face to meet her eyes and her state shocks me. Unkempt hair, dull flaky skin, haunting eyes, old hunting jacket that looks too big for her emaciated body. An anger builds inside me towards Haymitch, he was supposed to take care of her.

"What are you doing?" she asks.

I look at the dug earth. What do I tell her? "I went to the woods this morning and dug these up. For her," I can't even say Prim's name. "I thought we could plant them along the side of the house."

She looks at the bushes and her face changes from frown to anger and then it suddenly relaxes. She nods and goes inside the house. I resume my work, my heartbeat slowly returning to normal. It takes another half an hour or so to complete the job. Sometime during the planting, Greasy Sae comes to Katniss' door and is shocked to see me. She politely greets me and goes inside the house. As soon as I am done, I go straight to Haymitch's house. He better has some good explanation.

A/N: This story is inspired by JHutch, who plays Peeta in the movies. I would never have thought of Peeta's POV, if it wasn't for him. If you like the start, please leave a review. Thanks for reading. Will update soon.