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Bella

"Bella?" I had no idea who was talking to me, but I honestly didn't care. I was so warm…and so comfortable. So, so comfortably warm…almost hot. But it was nice. My shoulder started to get cold, and I shifted down into the hot water once more. "Bella?" Something cold touched my face and I winced, shifting away. "Bella, you're getting too hot. You still have a fever." I was vaguely aware that my chest was still hurting, and I coughed against my will, whimpering when it only made my chest worse. "Come on, Bella. Let's get back to bed, okay? Edward is there." I groaned, forcing my eyes open and shivering a little.

"I'm cold." I complained, not really having the strength to argue, but also not having the strength to get up.

"Okay, come on." She murmured, putting a hand under my back. "You've been in there for about half an hour…Carlisle says you better get out. They want to put you on oxygen again, and they have some medicine for you." She lifted gently, helping me to my feet. I immediately started shaking, and she put a huge, fluffy towel over my back and wrapped it around me. "She's shaking…the water kept her pretty warm, but she's still cold." I didn't know if I could stand on my own for much longer…I was suddenly so tired. I slumped against her, and she supported me fully, helping me sit on the toilet, then drying me off and wrapping me in a towel. I was glad it was Alice helping me…it was hard to feel self-conscious with Alice, even though she was putting underwear and a fresh set of pajamas on me. Moving back, she lifted me into her arms, not making me walk even a few steps down the hall.

"She's having chills." Carlisle's voice came from my left as I was tucked into a bed, and the familiar oxygen mask was placed over my mouth once more, making it marginally easier to breathe. He piled blankets on top of me, and I curled up on my side, shivering. "Bella, I'm going to inject you with some pain medicine, okay." I nodded, humming in agreement, too exhausted to fight him. "I know you're tired, sweetheart. Try and sleep. If Charlie gets here before you wake up, I'll ask him to come back. You need as much rest as you can get." I hummed again, shivering a little once more, and someone kissed my forehead right before I fell asleep once more.

I didn't feel good. It wasn't a specific feeling…I mean, my chest ached and my head hurt and my throat was sore and my whole body was so tired…I just felt awful in general. And cold. So, so cold. I felt myself start to shake as I tried to bury myself under the covers. "Bella? Are you awake?"

"Cold." I whispered weakly, trying to push the mask off my face, but cold hands held mine in place.

"You need the mask, Bella." Edward whispered, stroking my hair, and I whimpered, sobbing softly. "I know you're cold. We're going to get you another blanket." The chills made my teeth chatter and my muscles ache, while the blanket he draped over me didn't help.

"We can't raise her temperature anymore…she's already too hot."

"No. I'm cold." I argued with the voice that came from my left, and it turned gentle.

"I know, sweetie. You feel cold. But your temperature is very high…you have a fever, which is causing your chills."

"Please." I cried, trying in vain to stop shivering, and I heard a soft sigh.

"Jasper, get me a rag please, and dip it in ice water. Wring it out, and bring it here." Jasper must have complied, because in the next second, someone was pulling the covers back a little, and someone was resting something cold on my forehead. I cried out, trying to fight as the icy water dripped down the sides of my face. "I'm sorry, sweetheart. This is going to help bring your fever down, okay?"

"It's cold." I whined, too tired and uncomfortable to fight, and then someone took my hand, the contact soothing me and letting me know it was Jasper. "You're cold too." I mumbled behind the mask, but I gripped his hand tightly so he would know I didn't want him to leave, making him laugh.

"Yeah? We'll you're pretty hot. I'm not an expert in human anatomy, but we should probably get your fever down before you start cooking." He teased, his hand other hand slipping to the back of my neck. I moaned unhappily, then shivered when Edward put his arms around me, pushing the covers off. After a moment, the chills started to go away, and I was able to relax a little more.

"Charlie?" I asked, still speaking into the mask. I opened my eyes and Carlisle sat on the bed beside me. Edward had his arms around me, and I was laying against his chest, almost on top of him.

"It's almost noon." Carlisle informed me softly, touching my hair. "He came over about two hours ago, sat with you for a few minutes, and then he had to go back to work. He wanted to visit again later…after he is finished at the station. Does your chest hurt?" I nodded. "Okay. I can give you a little more pain medicine, but I don't know how much that's going to help. We'll try though, okay. You'll get some more antibiotics in a few hours…until then, I'm just going to try and keep your fever down. Alright?" I nodded a little, dropping my head back against Edward and squeezing Jasper's hand.

The pain medicine helped a little, and the mask continued to provide oxygen until later in the afternoon when Carlisle removed the mask and encouraged me to eat a little. I was hesitant, but I did try to eat a little of the chicken Esme made for me, and the ice water did help my throat a little. "Well, your fever is down…it hasn't broken yet, but hopefully it will tonight." He kissed my forehead, leaving Jasper, Edward, and myself in the bedroom, where Alice and Emmett joined us after a few minutes, bringing a large chess board and a box full of what I guessed were chess pieces. I lifted an eyebrow, sitting up against the pillows they propped behind my back.

"What are you doing?" I asked when Emmett placed the board on the bed, grinning at me.

"I am going to teach you how to play chess." He announced, taking the bin from Alice.

"Um…Emmett, I do know how to play chess." I told him with a laugh.

"No. You think you know how to play chess. I'm going to teach you how it's really done." He winked, dumping out a collection of pieces, some that I didn't recognize, and grinned. "Okay. We play in teams. Edward, you don't get to play. Bella, you're on my team."

Edward

For two hours, Emmett, Alice, and Jasper attempted to teach Bella their own complicated version of vampire chess, but as the day passed, she seemed to have less and less energy, finally dropping back against the pillows and closing her eyes in between turns. Emmett didn't disturb her…instead, he took over for her, moving her pieces and keeping her updated cheerfully, and she smiled gratefully at him when he announced that they'd won.

"Wanna watch a movie?" He suggested next, and Bella nodded, laughing softly when he vanished to find one she might like.

"So I was thinking, I'll give you a week to feel better, then another week to catch up with school, and then we're going shopping. You need a haircut, a manicure…well, I can do that here…oh, maybe I can do it tomorrow! Oh, and new clothes, maybe some new shoes, and…how do you feel about learning to actually do your own make up?" To my surprise, Bella smiled, taking a deep breath and obviously trying not to wince from the pain.

"Sounds good." She mumbled, and I kissed her temple as Emmett returned, looking worriedly at me.

"Bella? You still want to watch a movie?" She hummed, nodding, and he popped it into the DVD player. Alice climbed into bed beside Bella, and we kept her between us. Jasper sat on the floor beside Alice, his fingers intertwining with hers. Emmett, on the other hand, sat beside me, throwing an arm around my shoulders, waggling his eyebrows, and I rolled my eyes, shoving him off the bed and onto the floor, making Bella laugh softly, which turned into a cough as she slumped against me.

"Love? How are you feeling?"

"I'm o…" I gave her a look, and she sighed, reluctantly thinking for a moment. "It still hurts. But I'm not so cold."

"Good." I murmured, kissing her warm forehead, then dropping back down to her lips, holding her close as I kissed her.

"Dude. Movie's starting." Emmett called from the floor, jumping back up on the bed and leaning back against the headboard. Bella smiled against my mouth and I pulled away, kissing her once more, then draping an arm around her, I let her lean against me.

It had just finished, and Bella had just dozed off, when there was a quiet knock on the door, and I realized that I'd been so wrapped in up watching her sleep and focusing on the movie that Emmett had picked out that I hadn't heard her father's car pull up. Emmett looked over at Bella as he stood, shutting off the TV. "You gonna let her sleep?" I thought about it as Alice slipped off the bed, checking her visions.

"She's scared to talk to him, but she doesn't want to worry him." Alice told me before I could focus on any of them. "Go ahead and wake her." Emmett left the room, and Alice and Jasper followed while I kissed Bella's hair.

"Bella? Love, wake up." I stood, kneeling beside the bed where she was propped against the pillows.

"Mhm…did you…" Her words trailed off into unintelligible mumbles, and I laughed softly.

"Your dad's here, Bella." I told her softly, shaking her shoulder, and her eyes fluttered open, looking at me blearily. "Charlie's here. He's talking to Carlisle downstairs." Her eyes widened and she started to sit up, but I adjusted the pillows and helped her sit against them. "Don't worry. He's just concerned about you. He wants to talk…he's okay with you staying here. Carlisle already talked to him." She nodded, still looking nervous, so I grabbed a chair from the corner and pulled it over to the side of the bed, then sat beside her once more on the other side, taking her hand and covering her with a blanket. "How's that?" She nodded, smiling a little, and I kissed her temple right as Carlisle started to lead him up the stairs. "I've been doing my best to avoid your father. He's not quite ready to talk to me…so I'll be in my room, okay?" She nodded, her eyes already closing, and I touched her cheek. "He won't stay long. He knows that you don't feel well. I'll see you soon."

It worried me that she was too tired to even argue. Carlisle had explained that it was because of the fever, but even he had been worried when her temperature had spiked earlier, causing chills so bad that her entire body had shook and her teeth had clattered. I slipped into my bedroom, shutting the door but listening through Carlisle and Charlie's thoughts. My father had warned him that Bella had just woken, and that she still wasn't feeling well.

Carlisle knocked on the door, opening it when Bella invited them in. In his mind, I flinched when I saw Bella's eyes flutter open as she tried to focus on them. Carlisle moved to her side, touching her wrist to check her pulse, then putting a hand on her forehead. "Your fever is still high. I'm going to give you another dose of antibiotics this evening." He gestured for Charlie to come in, and Bella tried to smile at him, but still looked nervous.

"Hey, Bells." He greeted, probably not missing how Carlisle stayed at her side, his hand on her shoulder. It was hard to tell…his thoughts were still so murky. I concentrated harder, and was able to catch glimpses. He was horrified by how weak and tired his daughter looked, and was thinking back on the day that I'd left…on how she'd kept her arms around her stomach, as if she was trying to hold herself together. I flinched, trying to switch to Carlisle instead as he squeezed her shoulder, wishing he'd thought to warm Charlie not to ask about her cliff diving. He didn't want to subject her to that right now.

"I'll be just downstairs." He lied. He planned on coming into my room and waiting with me. "If you need anything, just call, okay?" He asked Bella, touching her hand, and she nodded, thanking him quietly. "What's he thinking?" He asked as he slipped into my room, and I sighed, trying to focus.

"So, um...you feeling any better?" He asked nervously as he perched on the chair.

"Yeah, a little. I'm still tired." She tried to smile, but I could hear how hard it was for her to breathe. He noticed too, and reached out, taking Bella's hand.

"I'm so sorry…" He whispered, and I started to go to the door, as did Carlisle who gripped my shoulder, stopping me from leaving the room.

"Wait." He murmured.

"What do you mean, Dad?" She asked, sitting up a little, and I clenched my jaw.

"I should have taken you to the doctor." He sobbed, and Carlisle sighed, closing his eyes. "I'm so sorry, Bella. I didn't know…I should have…"

"Dad, what are you talking about?" She was alarmed…Carlisle was physically restraining me at this point.

"You jumped off a cliff, Bella." He whispered, shaking his head. "You almost died!"

"I was cliff-diving, Dad." She tried to reassure him. "The guys over at La Push do it all the time. Just ask Jacob." Carlisle didn't respond, sighing softly, and Bella went on, her voice gaining a slight edge of fear. "Seriously, ask Jacob! He'll tell you…he was going to take me but he was late and I went anyway!" I heard everyone else in the house pause what they were doing, their thoughts sad as they focused on the conversation upstairs.

"Bella, you don't have to lie to me." He told her gently, and in his murky thoughts I watched him take her hand, trying to reassure her. "We're going to get you some help, okay? Maybe you can start going to therapy or…" At that, her heart began to race, and Carlisle slipped out of the room, knocking lightly on the door and stepping inside.

"I just wanted to make sure everything is okay." He excused the interruption, stepping easily past Charlie and over to Bella's side here he touched her forehead, blocking her view of her father and trying to calm her down by taking her hand, rubbing circles on the back with his thumb. "I think her fever might be rising. Charlie, I'm so sorry, but would you mind coming back tomorrow? Or maybe give it another day or two? She's not feeling well." Charlie nodded, looking a little strained, but stood, turning to find Esme in the doorway.

"I'll show you out Charlie." She offered, smiling sympathetically at him, and after telling Bella he hoped she felt better, he headed downstairs with my mother.

"Bella, take deep breaths, okay? I know it still hurts, but the medicine is going to start working soon. You're okay, sweetheart."

I was in her room in a few seconds, climbing into the bed beside her and pulling her into my arms, careful to cover her enough so she didn't get cold. "I don't…want…to go…" She sobbed, dropping her head back, and Carlisle took her hand, rubbing his thumb over the back once more. "I'm not…crazy." Carlisle sighed, sitting on the edge of the bed as I held her.

"We never thought you were, honey." He assured her, stroking her hair. "Just try and rest, okay? I promise you, we are not going to make you do anything you don't want to. You just need to focus on getting better. Alright?" She looked up at him, then back at me, trying to determine how serious he was. "I promise you, Bella." He told her seriously, and she nodded, leaning back against the pillows as she tried to relax. "I'm going to give you the antibiotics in about an hour, but I'll try not to wake you." She nodded once more, snuggling against me and dropping into sleep almost immediately.

"She seems to be in less pain." I offered quietly, putting my arms around her so that she could get comfortable.

"Her lungs sound better." He agreed. "She should feel much better by tomorrow evening…if her fever breaks tonight."

"If not?" I wondered, stroking her back and pulling the blankets more firmly around her when she shivered a little.

"It will." He announced, touching her hair. "And then we can finally talk."

"We can't force her to go to therapy." I warned, my voice surprisingly defensive, but he didn't take offense.

"Of course not. I wouldn't force her to do anything unless her life was in danger. I meant, talk with us."

Bella slept restlessly for hours, tossing and turning, mumbling every once in a while. Carlisle came in to give her the antibiotics, inserting the needle as carefully as possible, and she barely seemed to notice. To my surprise, I was looking forward to when she felt well enough to protest the needles. She woke for about an hour around ten p.m., letting Esme coax her to eat some soup as she lay against me, her head propped up by pillows, and Alice helped her to the bathroom. I changed the sheets once more while Carlisle brought in a tall glass of ice water, grabbing a new pillow and placing it at the head of Emmett and Rosalie's bed, hoping the clean bed linens would make her more comfortable.

By midnight, despite visits by Emmett, Jasper, and even, briefly, Rosalie, Bella was out again, her head still propped up against me, and I helped her lay down, still curled up against my side. But around three a.m., after much tossing and turning, Bella relaxed beside me, and I was surprised to find that she was suddenly sweating heavily, soaking her pajamas and the sheets. "Carlisle." I asked, worried, and my father was in the room in seconds, his expression relaxing in relief.

"Her fever broke." He told me with a smile, touching her wet forehead gently. "We need to get her in a bath and cleaned up before she gets cold." Alice seemed to materialize, and I found myself changing the sheets once again and blocking the thoughts of my sister as she gently began to help her wash up.

"How are you feeling?" I asked as I helped her back into bed. She looked exhausted, but she managed to smile a little.

"A lot better. I'm not cold anymore."

"Good." I stroked her now cool face, kissing her forehead. "Can you drink some more water?" She nodded, and I held up the glass, putting the straw between her lips and letting her drink for a minute. "Your fever's gone, so that's a good sign. Carlisle is going to keep you on the antibiotics until the course is complete, and with plenty of rest, you are going to make a full recover." I kissed her forehead once more, and Bella tilted her head, kissing me for the first time in days.

"I love you. Thank you."

"For what?" I asked, laughing gently, but not wanting her to answer that. "You don't have to thank me. I love you. I'm just glad you're feeling better."

"I…Edward, I don't want to go to therapy. I'm not crazy." I closed my eyes when she repeated that once more, squeezing her against me, probably a little too tightly, but she didn't complain.

"Bella, none of us have ever believed that you were crazy. Okay, so when you decided to spend more time alone with me after finding out I was a vampire, I briefly thought you were just a little crazy." The remark had the desired effect: she gave me a tiny smile, her head resting in its usual place on my shoulder. "Whether or not you jumped off that cliff to kill yourself, you did jump off a cliff, and now you need to rest and recover. The rest, we can talk about later. Alright?" She nodded, closing her eyes, and she was nearly asleep when she spoke again.

"What if I did?" She whispered. "What if I did it to kill myself?" Everyone in the house froze. Of course, I knew they all believed that she had been trying to commit suicide, but to hear her say the words…I kissed her hair, tucking the blankets around her.

"We'll deal with it later. Just sleep, love." And, finally, she did.

Carlisle

Two days after her father's stressful visit, Bella seemed to be feeling much better, which was a nice change from her previous lethargy and illness. Although she wasn't yet over the pneumonia, she was healing, and the antibiotics were doing their job. So I'd given her two days to rest. She'd spent them mostly at Edward's side, although they didn't discuss anything more important than the movies he would put in for her or the food one of us would make her. After their whispered conversation, she hadn't brought up the cliff diving, and Charlie had only visited once more in the morning, right as Bella was waking up, and just to tell her that he'd informed the school that she would be out for a while, and that she didn't need to worry, as we'd arranged to get her missed assignments.

She'd woken up around eight and had been unable to fall back to sleep, instead lying in Edward's arms, the blankets wrapped snugly around her as she'd relaxed and he'd breathed her in, never having enough of her. I understood, of course. I would never have enough of Esme, and Edward and Bella's relationship, while a bit difficult at the moment, was still new. After staying in bed for about a half hour, they finally got up and he took her downstairs, still in her pajamas, to get breakfast.

"Good morning, Bella." I greeted her, moving down the stairs and into the kitchen in seconds. She jumped a little, but overall, seemed to once again be getting used to our disconcertingly quick movements. "Sorry." I apologized with a smile, but she shook it off.

"Good morning." She greeted instead.

"Did you sleep well?" Of course I knew the answer…this was strictly politeness…and a way to gauge how she was feeling. She nodded, humming in affirmation as she took a bite of an apple. "You have a few more days of antibiotics, but those can be taken by mouth." I handed her a bottle with ten pills. "One in the morning, one at night, with food." She nodded, taking one while I watched, then placing the bottle in front of her and continuing with her apple. "I hope you're eating more than that for breakfast."

"Yes, Dad." She grumbled, then froze, the blood draining from her face as she placed a hand over her mouth. Edward glanced over from where he was about to flip a pancake, and I moved over to the girl, sitting beside her. "I'm so sorry…I didn't mean to be rude."

"Bella…"

"Not that I don't…I mean I know…with Edward and…and everyone else…"

"Bella…" I tried again patiently, but she kept on, not even stopping for a breath.

"And I know you…and Esme…you both lo…I mean…you're so…nice to me…and I didn't mean…"

"Bella, breathe." I finally commanded, taking her shoulders and waiting for her to do as I had requested. After a moment, she did, sucking in air and trying to calm down, her face having gone from bone pale to blood red.

"I'm so sorry." She whispered, and I couldn't tell if she was just embarrassed or if she was afraid.

"You don't have to be sorry." I told her lightly. The fact that I did, in many ways, see her as a daughter, and that, if everything worked out, she would be my daughter one day, for the rest of her existence, was not something I shared at the moment. "I am a dad." I told her with a laugh, dropping one of my hands, but keeping the other on her shoulder. "It's not often I have to get on my own children about anything, especially their eating habits, but I suppose it's just habit. Plus, there is the fact that I'm a doctor." She was still blushing, but she seemed to relax as I ruffled her hair, standing and moving over to the refrigerator to get the butter, and then found syrup under the cabinet. "I was thinking, after you eat, would you mind a quick examination? I just want to check your lungs and get another chest x-ray to make sure everything is clearing up."

"Sure…" She shrugged, thanking Edward when he placed the plate in front of her, and I remained in the kitchen with them while she ate, trying to guess how underweight she was. As soon as she was done, Alice appeared, taking her plate and laughing at Bella's confusion for a moment.

"Go on." She told Bella. "I'll clean up. You get checked out, and then we're doing manicures. Well…I'll be doing manicures. No offense Bella, but I don't trust you enough to let you paint my nails." I rolled my eyes a little, snorting at the borderline offended look on the girl's face.

"Come on. I doubt she trusts me enough to paint her nails, and I'm a board certified surgeon." I joked, leading Bella through the living room and toward the staircase.

"Of course I trust you, Carlisle! Today you can paint my nails and I can paint Bella's! Oh! It's going to be fun." Edward snorted at something and I realized she was serious. "Please, Carlisle! It's going to be so much fun! We can all have bonding time! And Edward, you can do Bella's toes!"

"Um…I…" Bella stammered, looking between us and obviously afraid that we were upset.

"You promised!" Alice whined, leaning against the island. "You promised I could do your nails!"

"I promised you could do my nails, not Edward." The girl beside me argued as I tried to herd her up the stairs and out of the conversation.

"What? You don't think I know how to paint a nail?" Edward questioned, a mock look of hurt on his face.

"No, I…Edward this is ridiculous!" I chuckled, and he did as well, making her laugh a bit reluctantly.

"We'll worry about who is painting who's nails later. For now, you need a chest x-ray." I told her gently, leading her into the office I'd set up as a medical examination room. She balked a little. Now that she was feeling better and was more aware of what was going on, she was a little more reluctant to be examined and fussed over. "It's okay, sweetheart. I promise, all I'm going to do is get a picture of your lungs, okay?" She swallowed, mumbling an apology, then stepped inside the office, Edward taking her hand.

As she lay on the table, her back flat, I could see even more prominently she'd lost weight. Her loose shirt lay flat on her body, showing me the outline of her stomach and her sharp shoulder blades. Edward sat on the floor beside her, his eyes still guilty as he, too, took her in. "Alright. First I just want to feel your stomach, make sure everything is okay." She gave me a look, but nodded. "Tell me if anything I do hurts." I told her, not quite switching into my professional, doctor's tone. I could tell she was comfortable with me, her mate's father, but maybe not with me, the doctor who worked in a hospital. I gently placed my hands on her stomach, pushing carefully to make sure there was no sort of fluid build up…honestly, I just wanted to get an idea of how much she had lost in terms of both weight and muscle mass. She gave no indication that anything I was doing was hurting her, so I moved up to her neck.

"Tell me if this hurts." I reached for her throat, finding her lymph nodes and checking to see if they were still swollen or tender. She flinched a little, but didn't protest. "Does that hurt?" I prodded.

"A little." She muttered reluctantly.

"That's fairly normal after the infection you've had. Any tenderness should go away in a day or two." She nodded, glancing once more at Edward, and I felt a moment of worry for the way she kept looking at him, holding his hand…needing to touch him. 'I'm worried that she's afraid we'll leave her.' I told him silently, giving no indication on my face that I was communicating with Edward. "Alright Bella, just lie still for me, and I will get the x-ray." She nodded, keeping as still as she could, even closing her eyes as though she were going to fall asleep, and I took two pictures of her, making sure I got a clear picture.

Once I'd checked the films and verified that she was healing like she should, I had her sit up on the edge of the examination table. I went through the exam quickly, checking her lungs and heart, her pulse and blood pressure, and started to send Edward to the other room but she clung to him and he seemed conflicted as he read my mind. "Bella, I want to take your sugar…I have a testing kit here, but this is going to require me to prick your finger."

"I'm fine." Edward put in before she could argue the fact that she didn't need a blood test.

"I'm also going to draw some blood to take back with me to the hospital." I told her gently, touching her arm. She seemed frightened, but resigned.

"You should go." She told Edward who shook his head once more.

"I'll be fine." He insisted, squeezing her hand.

"Edward, this…" I paused when I heard Alice's quiet voice cut in.

"He'll be okay. He's in control…he won't hurt her." She told us, and Bella was looking at me expectantly, waiting for me to continue.

"Okay." I consented. Bella didn't seem worried about Edward's control…on the contrary, she was afraid of hurting him.

"Edward, if this is too much…"

"Bella, I'm not going to hurt you." He murmured, touching her face.

"I didn't think you would." The girl argued. "But it hurts, doesn't it? When you smell my blood…I don't want to hurt you."

He took a long, deep breath, clenching his jaw as if keeping the words inside. "You don't have to worry about that, Bella." He told her simply, gesturing for me to continue, so I did, taking her shaking hand gently in my own and, before she could think about it, pricking her finger.

Next was the blood draw, and the testing kit told me her sugar was normal, but she had just eaten. I made a mental note to check it again the next morning. After taking some of her blood to test at the hospital, I led them to the library. Edward, able to read my thoughts, was a bit tense as he sat beside her, taking her hand. "Before we do our manicures, I'd like to speak with you." Her smile at the manicure comment died on her lips when I mentioned talking.

"Okay…" She murmured, bringing her legs up in front of her and leaning against Edward. "What about? Did I do something?"

"You're not in trouble, sweetheart." I told her instead of answering, glancing at Edward.

"Please be careful." He murmured. Jasper echoed the same sentiment, but he agreed with me. Now that she was getting better, Bella needed to talk about what had happened. She couldn't be allowed to just bury all of that depression and pain. Not only did I need to know how much damage we'd caused, I needed to make sure she healed. Jasper spoke quietly, and I realized he was speaking to Emmett downstairs.

"Carlisle and I agree. Bella's not going to be able to move on until she talks about what happened. Avoiding the issue won't make it go away…she'll just bury it. And I can help with her pain, but it's better for her to open up, and then she can get past it. I don't think she's really forgiven us…especially not Edward. She's glad we're back, and she's afraid we're going to leave her again. Those two things, combined with how we left her last time, is making her afraid to bring any of it up." I mentally let Edward know that I concurred, even though he suspected, and I could read the pain on his face.

'Bella needs to work through this. If she's angry with us, she has a right to be. There is always the chance that her depression could come back. That kind of mental problem doesn't just go away.' I reminded him. Of course, he'd studied human medicine, both physical and mental, although Jasper was the most well read when it came to psychology.

"Bella, I just want to talk to you…about what happened. At the cliff." I began gently, and immediately she was closed off. All signs of previous humor and happiness were gone, and her face was blank.

"Pain." Jasper informed us from outside the door, his own voice pained. "So much pain…like she's being ripped in half."

"I don't want to talk about it." She told me softly, moving back against Edward who was rubbing her arms. The knowledge that this was so painful for her only made it hurt more when I had to push her.

"Sweetheart, I believe you need to talk about it. You jumped off a cliff." I kept my voice gentle, even when her eyes narrowed.

"I was cliff diving. For fun." She spoke slowly, enunciating each syllable as though speaking to someone unable to keep up with the simple words, and I fought back a wave of frustration. I knew this was hard for her. She wasn't trying to be difficult. Edward, seating on the sofa beside her, had nearly pulled her into his lap, obviously not wanting to interfere, but also having a hard time seeing her so upset when only days ago, he'd barely arrived in time to pull her out of that water.

"I think she might honestly believe that…but the pain is still there. She's trying to push it away. Edward is helping immensely." Jasper kept us up to date, and Edward placed his lips against her hair.

I tried again. "Your father mentioned you were suffering from what sounds like severe depression, and…" I was a bit surprised when she jumped up, her gaze hostile as her hands clenched into fists at her sides.

"I said, I don't want to talk about it!" She screamed, whirling and exiting the room, leaving both Edward and myself stunned when she slammed the door with so much force that a picture frame dropped from the wall, shattering. Jasper, who had ducked out of sight, opened the door gently, peering in and looking at me with wide eyes.

"That…could have gone better." I sighed, and Edward dropped his head into his hands.

Emmett

Jasper gave me a look from the kitchen, as if sensing what I was about to do. But no one else had been able to get through to her! Every since that conversation with Edward two nights ago, she'd just bottled everything up, insisting again and again that we talk to Jacob Black, which, surely, Charlie was going to do, but in the mean time, I was going to talk to her. She was sitting in the living room, alone except for Alice and Jasper who had moved into the kitchen, making her something for lunch. Carlisle and Edward were upstairs and had been for two hours, locked in a quiet debate about what the next step was after her outburst, while Rose and Esme were out hunting, unable to offer any assistance.

She's screamed at Carlisle. Not just yelled. Not just snapped. Screamed. We all knew how much Bella loved and respected our parents, and her reaction to his gentle prodding just proved my point. Edward and Carlisle wanted to ease her along gently, loath to have her angry with them. Me, on the other hand, she could scream at all she wanted. I had plenty of practice taking it…I thought back on Rosalie's early years with a grim smile.

I dropped onto the sofa next to the girl who'd stormed down here, wrapping herself in a blanket and flipping on the TV to a random station. I was kind of surprised that she was still simmering…she usually had a pretty easy going nature, and when she got angry, it rarely lasted long. She was so lost in thought, her eyes roaming in the general direction of the TV, that she jumped when I sat down, then gave a tiny, sheepish smile, obviously embarrassed that we'd all heard her earlier, and I was glad her irritation wasn't yet focused on me. "Hey Bells. You feeling okay?"

"Yeah. Just…still tired." I nodded, hating that she was still feeling so worn out, but glad that she didn't have to wear that oxygen mask anymore. She'd been so tired for days now…since we'd first come back. Carlisle had explained that her high fever and the infection had been the cause of her constant exhaustion, as well as the fact that, while we'd been gone, Bella had lost a lot of weight and had been malnourished.

"We haven't really had a chance to catch up." I started conversationally, leaning back against the other side of the sofa. She turned away from the cooking program she had been half watching and looked at me curiously, her earlier embarrassment and residual anger fading for a moment. "What have you been up to?" I wondered, resisting the urge to add, 'besides cliff-diving.'

"Um…nothing much." She looked away from me, not meeting my eyes, and clutched her hands in her lap. I hated making her uncomfortable. I hated that I couldn't just joke with her and entertain her like I'd been able to before. But Carlisle believed that she needed to admit, even if just to herself, that she hadn't just been having fun…that this was the result of her depression. Only then, he insisted, would she ever be able to recover. And I wanted Bella to recover…we needed her to. I wanted my happy, playful little sister back, and, by extension, my happy brother. One thing was for sure, Bella had done a number on him, and I couldn't have been happier.

"How are Angela and Ben? You know, Edward and I helped them get together?"

"What?" She asked, obviously shocked.

"Oh yeah. Edward insisted we help Angela out…told me it was some kind of experiment in human nature of whatever. Has our handiwork held? They still together?"

"Um…yeah. I think so."

"You think so?"

"Yeah…"

"Aren't you and Angela still friends?" I asked innocently.

"Yes." She was just a tad defensive. I pulled back a little, keeping up the innocent act.

"What about Mike Newton? You two have an affair while we were gone?" I should have known better than to bring him up. Immediately, Edward was growling softly, distracted from his discussion with our father.

"No." Bella answered dryly, rolling her eyes. "We went to a movie though…with Jacob too."

"Ah yes, the werewolves. You get to see one yet?" She nodded, smiling a little.

"They're huge. They could probably give you a good fight." I chuckled, puffing out my chest in a display of bravado.

"Doubt it. No overgrown mutt can take me down." She laughed, but there was something in her eyes…she looked frightened.

"They could though." She murmured, looking at me seriously. "They killed Laurent." Everyone in the house froze. I heard Edward hiss softly, and I leaned forward.

"What?" I asked dumbly, unable to create a full question.

"Um…I was in the meadow…where Edward and I used to go. And…"

"Why would you go there?" I interrupted, hating myself a little more, but I hadn't forgotten my original goal. Edward gave me a warning growl. 'You obviously aren't going to try and push her.' I told him silently.

"Because she doesn't need to be pushed!" He snarled quietly. I ignored him. "She's barely back on her feet!"

"I…I wanted to find it." Her voice dropped when her eyes did, and immediately I understood. She'd wanted to find the place where she'd spent so much time with Edward…she'd hoped it would stop the pain. I didn't speak, though, and she continued. "I went there with Jacob…it wasn't the same though." There it was…that haunted, sad look that had been in her eyes before. Jasper pushed a wave of calm at her, but I spoke under my breath.

"Stop. I'm trying to get her to open up. Edward obviously can't do it." Bella, of course, didn't notice my comment, but Jasper seemed to agree with my methods.

"I went there again, though, and Laurent showed up. He…he was going to kill me." She admitted softly, and I felt the rage build in my chest. He could have killed her! Edward had abandoned her and she could have been killed! "Victoria wants me dead…he agreed to kill me as a favor to her. But then the wolves showed up…that's how I found out about them actually."

I forced my voice to take on a light tone. "Well, knowing you, that was probably all the luck you're going to have for the rest of your life. You'd better be extra careful from now on." She rolled her eyes. "I still don't get it though…why did you want to go to that place? Weren't you mad?"

"What?"

"Oh come on, Bells. My brother was a complete ass to you. He abandons you in the forest, and you don't hear from him for months. I'd be pissed."

"No…I wasn't mad." She told me softly, looking down once more.

"Not even a little? What were you then?"

"Nothing." She snapped, giving me a little glare, as if that would discourage me.

"You weren't upset? Wasn't it hard at all? The guy you love packs up and leaves, taking his entire family with him, just because you get a paper cut. Didn't you care?" Bella was clenching her jaw, and I could only imagine that Carlisle was holding Edward back, but there was no way I wasn't going to pay for this later. 'For Bella.' I told myself firmly as I went on. 'She's gonna explode if she doesn't let this out.' So I shrugged. "If it had been Rose, I would have gone insane. Seriously. If she'd done to me what Edward did to you, I'd be going crazy. Heck, I'd probably just start stalking her. Or I'd just dig myself a hole and live in it." She was looking at me now, her eyes cautious and pained. Somehow, my words seemed to have comforted her a little. "So you weren't even a little sad when we all…"

"Of course I was sad!" She bit out, closing her eyes and looking away. "I couldn't…I couldn't function Emmett!" She wasn't angry with me…she was shaking, her jaw clenched and her arms crossed, which was infinitely worse. I reached out, touching her shoulder, and I could almost see her coming undone at the seams…but not quite. She had to talk. She had to talk to someone, and if that someone was me, then I would be happy to listen to her. "I don't remember three months of my life." She was whispering, her voice so faint that, had I been human, I wouldn't have heard. I shifted, putting an arm around her, and she leaned against my side. "I think my dad was going to have me committed. He was so scared…my mom came up from Florida. She tired to get me to move in with her…" And then, abruptly, she was furious again, whirling to face me and shrugging me off. "Is that what you wanted to know? That I fell apart? That, apparently, I'm the kind of girl that goes off the deep end when her boyfriend dumps her! That I don't know if Angela and Ben are back together, or what's going on with Mike, or what we've done in class for the last few months, because I couldn't think about school or my friends because everything reminded me of him…of you guys! That I started riding an old, broken down motorcycle because when I did something dangerous…" She choked on her words, the tears streaming down her face, and I scooted over once more, pulling her against me.

"What happened?" I asked quietly. "When you did something dangerous?"

"You'll think I'm crazy." She whispered, shaking her head, but she didn't try to pull away from me.

"Naw. I know you're not crazy. And even if you are a little crazy, who cares? I'm a vampire that likes wrestling grizzly bears." She sobbed and laughed, hiding against my chest.

"I…I thought I could hear him." She whispered, her voice so faint that I wondered if even she could hear it. "I…missed him so much, Emmett. I just wanted to hear him." I sighed softly, rubbing her back and nodding to Jasper who slipped into the room, sitting hesitantly behind Bella and touching her back lightly. She jumped a little, but then relaxed, knowing that I wouldn't let anyone near her who wanted to hurt her.

"Is that why…" Jasper trailed off, rubbing her back.

"We were going cliff diving." She told us in a small voice.

"In the middle of the storm?" I asked, letting her hear my disbelief. She didn't answer.

"We wouldn't blame you, Bella." Jasper assured her, his hand on her back probably provided a stream of constant calm, making her more willing to talk. "If, for some reason, I were separated from Alice, I would go crazy…legitimately crazy. Like, murder spree until I could get back to her crazy. Trying to get an adrenaline rush to hear his voice isn't really bad." He tried to a light tone.

"I wasn't thinking about killing myself." She told us softly, her eyes closed as tears welled up once more and dripped down her face. "But I didn't care. I didn't care if I died." Everyone in the house seemed to release a breath at her admission. As much progress as this was, it hurt to hear her say it, and I could only imagine how much pain Edward was in.

But apparently, she wasn't done. She took a long, deep shuddering breath. "Why did you all leave me?" She asked me, her eyes pleading. "I thought…you guys were like my family. I loved you guys. And then…just because Edward wanted to leave…you…" She was crying again, and Jasper gave up trying to calm the room, instead just putting an arm around her and sandwiching her in between us. "Even you, Alice." I sighed, realizing my sister had joined us in the living room. "You said we were going to be best friends. And I kept emailing you." Alice's teeth were pushing into her lips so hard I thought they would crack, and her eyes were full of tears.

"I know." Alice whispered, kneeling in front of her. "I know…and I didn't want to leave. None of us did. But Edward was so upset…he was so scared that you were going to end up hurt if we stayed…and I know he was wrong. We all know that, Bella. He knows that!"

"But what if he doesn't?" Her voice was agonized, as if the very thought was causing her pain. Jasper flinched beside us, looking away from her absently and trying to get a grip on the emotions being pushed at him. "What if something happens and he wants to leave again and…"

"Hey. He's not going to." Alice stopped her, taking her hands. "He loves you too much…he couldn't function away from you, Bella. He came back to you because he needs to be with you, just like you need to be with him…just like all of us need to be with our mates. Edward isn't just your boyfriend…he's your mate. And you are our family, and we all missed you so much. So don't ever worry that this will happen again, because I guarantee you, none of us would let it, even if Edward was somehow stupid enough to make the same mistake twice. Carlisle has already talked to him about it, okay?"

After a few seconds of leaning against me, she nodded, sniffing softly. "Come on." Alice took her hands, pulling her up and into her arms. She kissed Bella's cheeks, squeezing her hands. "We're going to get on with the manicures, okay."

Bella didn't move, and Alice didn't force her, pausing instead of dragging her away. "What? What's wrong, Bella?"

"I…I yelled at him." She whispered, glancing up at the ceiling, and then Carlisle was downstairs with us. Bella stepped back a bit, her face tomato-red and she seemed to try hiding. Edward hung back, leaning against the far wall, watching as Carlisle reached out to her.

"Bella." He spoke so gently…he could always do that. Even when we screwed up or disappointed him or hurt someone, he could be so kind. "Look at me." I smelled the saltwater once more and shut my eyes as the tears escaped her eyes. "Bella." He said her name again, and Alice backed up. Our father reached out, touching her face, his thumb hooking under her face so that he could bring her eyes up to meet his.

"I'm sorry." I could tell she was bewildered…her emotions seemed to be all over the place.

"I forgive you. I understand that this is hard for you, but I want you to know, you have to talk to someone. If not us…" He didn't go on with that thought. Her eyes had gotten huge, and her breath had caught, obvious signs of fear. "Alright, with us then. Not today, not if you don't want to. You're still trying to recover, and I know you're tired. Maybe tomorrow, okay?" She nodded, and his fingers brushed away the water that had left trails down her cheeks.

"What was Alice saying about manicures?" I broke in, trying to ease the tension. It worked…Bella smiled a little, sniffing and wiping at her eyes.

"Yeah, Edward and Carlisle are giving up manicures." She told me with a smile, and I lifted an eyebrow.

"No. Carlisle is giving me a manicure, and while I give you a manicure, Edward is giving you a pedicure. And Emmett is giving me a pedicure."

"Uh, no. Painting the toes is a job for your mate. Make Jasper do it." My brother rolled his eyes, but forced a little smile for Alice. He'd do anything for her, and I was about to tease him for it, but then I remembered Alice and Rose's tendency to gossip. If Rosalie decided that I needed to start painting her toenails, then I would probably do it.

Bella

After my roller-coaster ride of emotions this morning, I was shocked to find myself on the sofa, Alice sitting right beside me, painting my nails a light blue with swirly patterns and designs on my ring fingers, and Edward at my feet despite all of my protests, painting my toenails a matching deep blue. As much as I tried to protest, he argued that he didn't mind, and his left hand held onto my ankle, his thumb rubbing over the bone there…it felt too good to argue anymore. He placed his head against my knee, and I shivered a little when his lips touched the side of my leg, right at my knee. Jasper kicked him a little from where he sat at Alice's feet, painting her toenails a bright red.

As soon as my nails were done, Alice placed my hands on my legs. "Don't move." She cautioned. "You'll mess them up." And as soon as she'd spoken, Carlisle was on her other side, and despite her shrieking laughing, he was painting her nails a bright yellow. "Carlisle!" She laughed. "I can do my own nails."

"Oh no. You insisted it would be fun, that we all needed the bonding time." He met my eyes and winked quickly, easily applying the polish to her longer, perfect fingernails. Jasper finished up at her feet and kissed her knee, much like Edward had me. Edward finished almost a second after he had, and climbed up to sit beside me, kissing my cheek, then my forehead, then moving down to my lips.

"I love you so much." He whispered, stroking my face.

"I love you too." I leaned my head against his shoulder, enjoying this chance to be close to him again. After before…after he'd left and I'd thought I'd never see him again, I couldn't get enough. I just wanted him nearby all time. And he seemed to feel the same…it could be how he'd found me. Or maybe, as I kept trying to believe, he'd missed me just as much as I'd missed him.

"Are you getting hungry?" Edward wondered as Alice carefully put the cap back on the nail polish and placing it on the table. I shook my head, not ready to eat yet…I hadn't eaten much lately, and I was still full from breakfast. Carlisle glanced over, and even I noticed his concerned look, but he didn't comment just yet. For a few minutes we sat in silence, and Carlisle finished Alice's nails and put the polish on the table, kissing her forehead and chuckling.

"Acceptable?" Alice giggled, looking over her nails, then down at her toes.

"Lovely. Thank you." He shook his head, laughing softly, and sat down on the other chair, turning the TV on. It was so nice…all of us sitting together, even with Emmett outside waiting for Rosalie and Esme…it was so wonderful to be with them again. Jasper infused the room with steady calm and happiness, and I wondered if he could help it…if our emotions naturally bled into his. I tried to picture something funny…I focused on the TV and watched the woman cook, then tried to imagine Charlie trying to follow along, making me stifle a giggle. As if in response, Jasper's lips turned up, and he glanced over at me, confused amusement on his face.

'That answers that.' I thought to myself, ignoring his questioning gaze, and the atmosphere went back to normal pleasant calm.

After a while, Edward shifted from where he was sitting beside me, his arm around my shoulders, and stroked my cheek with his thumb. "Why don't we go upstairs…you can rest for a little?" He offered. I knew he wanted to spend some time alone with me, even though we were both enjoying being with his family.

"Actually…" I hesitated…squeezing my hands together and looking down at them.

"Yes?" He asked, squeezing my shoulder, and I glanced up at him, sure he would say no.

"Can we…can we go out? To the meadow?" Edward hesitated, probably about to say no, when Carlisle stepped in.

"I don't see why that would be a problem." He told us gently, smiling at me. "Just make sure you wear warm clothes, and I'd like you to come back in an hour. If your chest or throat starts hurting, I'd like you to tell Edward, and he'll bring you back. But it's fairly warm outside." Edward nodded, standing up beside me, and then raced upstairs, bringing back a thick coat for me.

I wasn't surprised that he kept his arm in mine when we walked to his jeep, and he placed me gently in the seat, fastening the harness and seatbelt, and then, in less than a second, was in the seat beside me. It all felt so normal…even the comfortable silence between us…it was almost like he'd never left, and I rested my head against the window, my teeth digging into my lip. For some reason, I couldn't push back that wave of sadness and pain…I didn't even know where it came from! I should have been happy! Edward was with me! He loved me and he wanted to be with me and he'd taken care of me.

We reached the trail, and as soon as Edward was out of the car, I put a hand over my mouth, gasping at the pain that was still there, hidden just under the surface. He opened my door, his eyes wide and sad as he took in my expression. "Bella?" He murmured, reaching up at touching my cheeks, his fingers brushing away tears that I hadn't even known were there. "Are you hurting?" He asked first thing, stepping up on the running board attached to the bottom of the jeep and unfastening my harness. "Love, does your chest hurt again? Do you want to go back?"

I threw my arms around him, shaking my head and hiding against his neck. "What? Sweetheart, what's wrong?" I shook my head again. I couldn't say it. If I said it, the pain would just be worse. So he just sighed softly, lifting me into his arms, and then he was running. Unlike before, his running didn't scare me. It was fun! After the motorcycle and the cliff diving…this was even better! But the pain was still there. I held tightly to him, hiding my face and watching the trees blur above us.

The meadow was different from the last time I'd been there…with Laurent. It was alive again. The flowers were beautiful and the sunlight shone down on us as he walked right into the middle, kneeling down, then sitting back, and holding me in his arms. "Talk to me." He whispered, kissing my hair, and I looked up at him, knowing he could see the pain in my eyes. "Please. Tell me what's wrong?"

"Don't leave me again." I begged, clutching his shirt, and his eyes went wide, his face crumpling. I couldn't care though…I couldn't care that he was in pain, because all I could think about was the hole in my body, ripping me apart. I didn't care that I sounded like a needy girlfriend, pathetic and weak. It hurt so badly! "Please, Edward. I can't." I whispered, dropping my face against his shoulder. He took a deep, almost strangled breath, and wrapped me more tightly in his arms.

"My love…I wish I could explain to you how impossible that would be. I cannot leave you. I couldn't function without you."

"Yeah, me either." I was surprised that my voice was a little angry, and he kissed my hair, rubbing my back as he held me.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I glanced up at him in surprise. "Of course, everyone in the house could hear…when you spoke to Emmett. But…Carlisle believes you need to talk about it. He thinks it will be good for you."

"He also thought…" I flinched, stopping the words before they could escape, and Edward laughed mirthlessly.

"He also thought it was okay for us to leave you." He finished for me, kissing me once more. "You don't have to pretend you aren't still angry. It's okay…you have every right to be, with all of us. It was my mistake, though. Everyone else was so upset…they missed you so much. Alice got all of your emails." I was surprised…I hadn't heard a word from her! "I made her promise…I made all of them promise, not to contact you. Alice wasn't looking at your future and none of them were keeping tabs on you. I thought it would keep you safe. I know it was a mistake and I could never do it again, but I hope you believe that I did it because I wanted you to be safe."

I hated it, but I did believe him. I nodded, not moving from where I was nestled in his lap, and he took off his own coat, wrapping it around me, and the sun was warm and bright on my head. "I couldn't feel anything." I whispered finally, closing my eyes. I would have to ignore his reactions if I was going to talk. It was going to hurt him…but even with those words spoken aloud, I felt just a tiny bit better. "I was numb…for months. It wasn't until my mom came and tried to make me move to Florida with her that I woke up. And then it hurt." I choked on my words then, but still didn't move. "It hurt so much, Edward…like I was being ripped apart!"

He rocked me back and forth, his face hidden in my hair, and I could just barely make out his apologies, repeated over and over for a long time. I decided that was enough. I didn't want to rub it in…I didn't even want to talk about it. He knew that he'd hurt me. Surely Jasper could tell him what my pain felt like. "I'm just glad your back." I told him softly, pulling away and framing his face in my hands.

"I'm never leaving you again, my love. I swear it."

"You mean…what about when I'm...older." I knew that he'd already told me but I needed to hear it again. He smiled gently, seeming to understand.

"Like I said..." He kissing my forehead gently. "...if you want to be a vampire, you can be a vampire. Everyone agrees." He whispered, framing my face with his hands. "I want you forever, and I'm selfish enough to subject you to this life, if that's what you want. I can't lose you." He sighed when I lowered my eyes, clenching my hands together. "I promise, Bella. I swear it. I will never leave you. You are my life."

"You're never going to leave me?" I confirmed, and he rested his forehead against mine.

"I will never leave you. When you graduate high school, Carlisle will change you…as soon as you like. You can join our family, and we are going to spend the rest of eternity together. Okay?"

"Okay." I whispered, kissing him quickly, my hand brushing across his cheek.

"Are you ready to go back to the house?" He asked, kissing me one more time, and I locked my arms around his neck, kissing him again, making him chuckle.

"No." I mumbled against his lips,

"We can do this in the house." He argued, running a hand up and down my back.

"We won't be alone in the house."

"You won't catch pneumonia again in the house."

"You can't prove that." He laughed aloud, pulling away and kissing my forehead, then shook his head.

"I'm not taking the chance. Come on. I'm taking you back inside. We'll go upstairs and I'll put a movie on. You can change into pajamas and have hot chocolate and we'll spend the rest of the day together. Okay?"

I wasn't going to win that fight, and I honestly didn't really mind. Reaching out, I put my arms around his neck once more, kissing him one last time before we stood, me cradled in his arms, and I watched as the trees and sky blurred together, my head resting on his shoulder. Leaning up just a little, I put my lips against his ear, grinning when he shuttered a little. "You're my life too."

The End

Thank you all so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed. I know I did!