A.N. First, thanks to all of you who were so encouraging about the 'Soundings' series. I'm glad it still resonates with you. And then, apologies…..because this isn't part of that series! This story was built around two scenes that demanded I write them….and one of them may not even make it into the story. I'll let you guess which is the one that will definitely appear. It's a few chapters in.

Also, as a challenge (to myself), I decided to go along with everything the show has given us. So, 'Zugzwang' happened, '200' happened, 'Angels' and 'Demons' happened. A certain NOLA police detective may be portrayed a bit differently from the show….but that's the show's fault. When season 10 premieres, and we get to know our new agent….she will 'happen' as well.

In both my life's vocation , and my avocations, the question of "Why are you here?" has been coming up. This story is Reid's response to the same question.

The woods are lovely, dark, and deep, But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep, And miles to go before I sleep.

Robert Frost, from Stopping By Woods On A Snowy Evening

Before I Sleep

Chapter 1

There was something about it that always felt like coming home…..to a stranger's house.

To JJ, there was always a sense of 'not-quite-deja-vu' whenever she and Reid worked together these days. The familiar comfort with each other now came with an unfamiliar reserve. So many things had changed. They had changed. And so had their friendship.

I guess it was inevitable. It's been ten years, after all. We're not kids any more. I have a family. He has…..or, he had…...

JJ always got stuck there. He still seemed so affected by what he'd had, and had no longer. She recognized the residual grief, even if she didn't completely understand it.

Reid's keeping his relationship with Maeve a secret from the team….except for Blake…..had resulted in a strange phenomenon. For each of the others, it seemed as though Maeve had risen from the dust and, in a matter of mere hours, been relegated back. Most of them had only heard of her for the first time on the day she died. They had trouble fathoming that Reid could actually have such strong feelings of loss for someone it seemed like he'd barely known, forgetting that it was only they who had barely known her. They'd managed sympathy, reacting more to his despondence than anything else. But they'd also been impatient for it to end.

That had been almost a year and a half ago. Looking back at it from the perspective of the present, JJ couldn't help but feel a little embarrassed.

Why is it that I can put myself into the mindset of an unsub, but I can't do the same for my best friend? Former best friend, I guess. Isn't Will supposed to be my best friend now?

That was a topic best left unvisited. She was relieved when Reid's observation interrupted her reverie.

"It looks like she might have been a runner. She's got the same kind of shoes you wear when you run."

She should have been used to it by now. After all, Reid noticed everything. But she was still a bit tickled whenever she realized that 'everything' included her. JJ moved over to where Reid was inspecting the victim's closet.

"Let's see how broken in they are."

Reid flipped the shoes so she could see the soles. Both outer edges were showing signs of wear.

He made an observation. "She had a pretty even stride, I'd say. Not like yours."

That got the blonde profiler's brows up. "Not like mine? You know how I wear out my shoes?"

He shrugged. "You lead with your left foot, so it bears more pressure than the right. That's why you wear out your left shoe faster than the right."

"I lead….I wear….." JJ just shook her head, still amazed, after so many years, at what Reid could cram into his brain.

Reid had already gone back to his perusal of the closet. "She's got….37 pairs of shoes." Proud, now, that he knew that wasn't an excessive number, for a woman. "Wait….one is missing."

He'd only been looking for a few seconds. "How did you…." Why do you ask, JJ? Just go with it. "What's missing?"

"There's a green shoe….see, like this one here." He held up the unmatched mate.

"Maybe she just kicked it under the bed, or the sofa or something." Beginning the search.

Reid disagreed. "Everything else was paired. Why wouldn't she pair this one?"

"Maybe she was in a hurry that day, or tired, or annoyed….." Relating to every one of the possibilities.

"Annoyed? Why would you not put your shoe away just because you were annoyed?"

Maybe because you threw it at something. Or someone. Aloud, she responded, "I guess you wouldn't. So, what does that tell us?"

"Could be a trophy. Maybe part of the unsub's signature."

He headed off down the hallway to the kitchen. After taking one last look around the bedroom, JJ went to follow him….and then stopped short. He's right. I do lead with my left foot!

The full team was crowded into a conference room of the Macon City Hall, which housed the very small police department of the Georgia city.

"I can probably get you some space over at GBI, if you want to spread out more," offered Chief Harris. "It's only about 30 minutes away, over in Perry."

Hotch declined on behalf of the team. The Georgia Bureau of Investigation would provide support to their work, but thirty minutes was too far outside the radius of the crimes to be helpful to the team.

"Thanks, but this is fine. We appreciate being closer to the task force."

'Task force' was a generous term, considering the state of things. The police force consisted of fewer than twenty officers, including the brass, covering all three shifts. The sheriff's office had contributed a few bodies, as had the GBI. But it was still one of the smallest outpourings of support the members of the BAU could remember.

At least, thought Morgan, they're on our side. We hope.

That hadn't been the case in Texas, where the local sheriff had gone rogue, and taken most of his force with him. They'd almost lost Reid on that case, when the renegade sheriff had planted a bullet into the young profiler's neck. It had rattled all of them. They'd even seen the resignation of Alex Blake as a result of it. Curiously, the person who'd seemed least rattled had been Reid. Morgan remembered JJ's response when he'd remarked on it.

"Maybe that's because he was out of it, you know? I mean, isn't the stress of trauma mostly from the anxiety over it? Spence didn't have time to be anxious. He just tried to help Blake, and he went down. It was the rest of us who witnessed it, and the rest of us who were scared to death for him."

"Maybe. I guess that explains Blake. But all of us were in that situation together. We knew we were on our own, that we couldn't trust anyone from Texas. I mean, other cases, we might get some pushback from the LEOs now and then, but they've never been out to kill us before."

JJ shivered at the memory. "I know. I was afraid to look over my shoulder, and afraid not to."

"Well, Pretty Boy went through that part of it, just like the rest of us. So why is he the only one who's not on edge?"

JJ took her time responding. She'd noticed it too. But, rather than be reassured by Reid's stability, she'd been troubled. She suspected that she knew why he'd come through the entire case and shooting incident emotionally unscathed, and it frightened her. So much so that she couldn't bring herself to say it aloud.

For Morgan's sake, she shrugged. "Don't know."

JJ emerged from her memory of that same conversation as the team gathered tightly around the table. They all smiled at their predicament as they watched the very slim Reid squeeze past Rossi to reach a white board attached to the far wall.

He really never did seem fazed by it. But there's something now. It's subtle, but it's there. I wonder if the others can see it.

Once again she rued the distance between them. With Blake gone, and until a replacement could be found, JJ and Reid were spending more time together, both at whatever served as their headquarters, and in the field. And, while it vaguely reminded JJ of the many times they'd worked side-by-side when she was the team liaison….it simply wasn't the same. With the passage of time, the maturing of both the individuals and the relationship, the changes in their life circumstances, the traumas visited upon each of them, and the space created by the 'necessary deceptions' as JJ thought of them, their relationship had changed.

As all relationships do, right? Except most of them grow more solid. But not mine. Not with Spence, and not…

Before she had a chance to chastise herself once again about being a failure in her relationships, JJ heard Rossi prompt Reid.

"So, I take it those are the dump sites you've got plotted in black? And the presumed kill sites in red?"

"Correct. But we've only got the one definite kill site, so I've smudged the other one. We'll hear back from GBI soon about whether the blood at the scene matched any of the victims'."

"What are the blue dots?" asked Morgan.

"Workplaces. And the green are their homes. Except for the one we haven't yet identified, of course."

Hotch always found it helpful to review and summarize the case along the way. "All right. So we've got five female victims, each in their late twenties to early thirties, each lean and fit, but no other obvious similarities in appearance," he began.

Morgan took it from there. "Each was found, stabbed and almost fully exsanguinated, in a thickly wooded area."

Rossi made the next, important, point. "But there was very little blood at any of sites, suggesting that they were killed elsewhere, and the bodies dumped."

"And the first two bodies were wrapped in tarps, the third in a roll of carpet….but the final two were just found lying out in the open," added JJ.

Morgan was quick to remark, "Let's hope they're the final two."

JJ acknowledged the point, and continued with what she'd been saying. "So, does that make our killer organized….and then disorganized?"

Reid almost overspoke her in his eagerness. "I've been thinking about that. I think our killer might still be organized…..but maybe he's physically unable to use the same method. Maybe he's older, or not well. But I think he started with the tarps as a way to move the bodies, ran out of tarps and decided to use carpet….and then found them too hard to lift or drag."

"Either that, or he's devolving, as JJ suggests." The most experienced among them, Rossi knew it was never wise to reach a conclusion too early in a case.

"What else have we got?" Hotch spoke into his open phone. "Garcia?"

"Sir! So, all of the women were single, one had a brief marriage three years ago, but that only lasted a year."

"Did it end amicably, Garcia?" asked the thrice-divorced Rossi.

"As far as I can tell. Her ex still texts her, and it seems friendly. Back to the group…..all were college graduates, all were either athletes or cheerleaders at their schools. Three had gym memberships, but I haven't found anything for the other two."

"Spence found running shoes at the latest victim's apartment. Do we know if all of them were runners, Pen?" JJ thought a lonely road and an attractive female might provide opportunity for their unsub.

"Well there's no way to know….oh, but I can look at credit card purchases. Back in a jif!"

JJ waited for Reid to report the other thing he'd discovered at the victim's apartment. When he didn't, she spoke for him. "Spence also found that one of the victim's shoes was missing. A green ballet flat. The mate was in her closet."

Hotch's eyes shifted in Reid's direction. "A trophy?"

"Could be."

"So, he took a shoe that she wasn't wearing as a trophy? Does that mean he was at her apartment? Could she have been wearing it earlier on the day she died?"

Morgan knew, as did the rest, that this would be a most unusual incidence of trophy-collecting. Usually the unsub took something from the victim at the time of the killing.

JJ pointed out the obvious. "Then maybe we should rule out running as a commonality among them. She wouldn't have been running in her ballet flats."

Rossi cautioned. "Not so fast. He could have followed her home from her run, and taken her after she'd changed."

"All right," conceded Hotch. "We'll wait for Garcia to get back to us on the running connection. Right now, we need to see if Reid's idea of trophy collecting holds up."

The unit chief made his assignments. He, Rossi and Morgan would each pair with a LEO to revisit the homes of the other three identified victims, with the oxymoronic task of looking for anything obviously missing. That left JJ and Reid to head over to the Georgia Bureau of Investigation, to meet with the medical examiner.

It should have been the least eventful of the assignments.