My husband got me to write another story, so all the blame for this fic should go to him. It's only my second attempt at writing. D=

The 'voice' Kurt uses on Skype is actually the voice Chris Colfer uses in Struck By Lightening, if you wanted a reference.

Rated for future chapters. (Already written, will be posted in the next few hours)

It's too freaking quiet in here... Have I always had a problem with quiet, or is this Dalton's fault?

Kurt had only been home from Dalton for a few days and he already missed it. Sure, it was great being back in glee with all of his friends, but he was also missing his Dalton boys. If he was still in Westerville, Kurt would be doing homework with Nick and Jeff right now. Or looking through websites with Blaine.

No. Don't think about Blaine, that's not going to help anything. Kurt throws himself down on his bed in an over-dramatic Scarlett O'Hara impression. No more than two minutes later he's sitting back up, sick of himself. Kurt grabs his laptop and boots it up. All of his friends had been busy after glee club today. They were all so used to him being gone that none of them had realized he'd be by himself only a few short days after his 'triumphant return'.

Kurt decides to go to a chatroom that Jeff had shown him a few months ago. Kurt still wasn't really comfortable talking to people on the internet. His dad had spent too many years telling him horror stories about naïve virgin boys who met up with 'online friends' only to be raped and murdered by old men. Luckily the website had a visitor setting and he could just make up a temporary name each time. Today he was 'LonelyExBoarder'.

The chatroom was actually for boarding school boys all over the country to just hang out and talk. Which is why Jeff even admitted to going to it. Kurt and Jeff were close, but not 'What are your masturbatory habits?' close. As Kurt sits and watches the conversation for a few minutes, he gets a little sad. This isn't near as much fun without friends sitting around me giving me ideas of what to say. Most of these guys are straight. I don't play video games or sports. What the hell would I even talk to them about?

Just as he's about to close the window, Kurt gets a private message pop-up.

SexyLaxStar: Y so quiet? U bn here a cple mins n hvnt sed nething.

LonelyExBoarder: No. If you want to speak to me, you'll have to learn the English language first.

Kurt closes the window and is about to close out of the chatroom when he gets another pop-up. He's unimpressed to find the same guy as before, but it's the language that stops him. In both senses of the word.

SexyLaxStar: Actually, if you're going to be a total bitch about it, I have no desire to talk to you anyway. Have a nice day, asshole.

Kurt laughs. Not only was it decently typed, it was in French. Oh, how do I turn down the opportunity?

LonelyExBoarder: It's been a rather crappy day so far, so I doubt it will improve. But thanks for your well wishes.

Kurt waits to see if he'll get a response. It's been awhile since he's had a good snark off. His only real opponent anymore is Santana, and she's been playing nice since the prom queen race started. David has stopped talking to him altogether since his return. Which is better than the kind of insults they used to throw at each other, but boring none the less. When he shakes himself out of his own musings, he finds an answer waiting.

SexyLaxStar: wow, your school must be better than I thought. That's actually comforting. I didn't think americans actually bothered to learn any other languages.

Kurt rolls his eyes. So not only was this guy a cocky asshole, he was condescending, too. Great.

LonelyExBoarder: I had nothing better to do last summer. Lack of friends and a life will do that. Why else would I be on the internet talking to a smug jerk?

SexyLaxStar: You forgot sexy. A smug, sexy jerk.

LonelyExBoarder: I don't actually know that, though. You could be a sweaty, bald 45 year old former football player who likes reliving his glory days.

SexyLaxStar: How many fat sweaty football guys do you know that hit on other guys?

Kurt raises an eyebrow. Dear god. That was his attempt at flirting? Well, I probably should have expected that. Maybe if I'd been able to read it?

LonelyExBoarder: I didn't know you were hitting on me, what you were speaking wasn't French OR English. And more than you'd think.

SexyLaxStar: Aww. You're one of those overly fem guys who run around in skirts and wear lace aren't you?

Kurt has a decision to make. He can either lie and pretend to be an offended straight boy, or he can admit it and find out what he really wants to know...

LonelyExBoarder: How the hell could you have guessed that? We JUST met and you can't even see me.

SexyLaxStar: LMAO. Oh, you've just made my day. Thank you.

LonelyExBoarder: No, seriously. Tell me how you knew. That's going to annoy me forever.

SexyLaxStar: LOL ok, but you have to answer one question for me, honestly.

LonelyExBoarder: I'm afraid to ask, but sure. What's the question?

SexyLaxStar: What's the girliest thing you own? (just for my own amusement.)

LonelyExBoarder: *Sigh* Well, the piece of my wardrobe that got the most reaction was the corset, but I have sweaters that are arguably worse. After you've recovered from your hilarity, answer my question.

It takes a few minutes, like the boy really had needed time to recover. Why did I answer honestly? Jeez.

SexyLaxStar: O. Wow. Ok, thanks for that. Anyway, I knew because you're prissy as hell, you couldn't read what I said, so you don't play computer games, you don't know what lax is, you referenced jocks hitting on you, and you didn't seem upset with the idea of me hitting on you as well.

Kurt is slightly speechless. How did he make all those connections? How does he even know all that crap?

LonelyExBoarder: What the hell? The prissy I get, and screw you. The computer games, okay, probably obvious. But how did you know I don't know what lax is? And how is jocks hitting on me telling you I'm 'girly'?

SexyLaxStar: *smirk* lax is lacrosse, and if you'd known, you would have said that instead of football. And the only guys that get hit on by jocks and don't play sports or video games, are the really fem, obviously gay types.

LonelyExBoarder: Okay, Sherlock. I can't decide if I'm more impressed or pissed off that you figured all that out. Judging by your personality, I'm going to go with pissed off. It's easier. Well, since I'm NOT a 19th century English detective, ASL?

SexyLaxStar: Sorry, Watson. Didn't mean to offend. Well, kind of did... 16, male, and Paris.

LonelyExBoarder: Okay, seriously? Paris, France? What the hell are you doing on an American boarding school website?

SexyLaxStar: O no. The polite thing to do is to respond to the implied question.

LonelyExBoarder: lol 17 in a few weeks, male obviously, and Kentucky.

Kurt had debated with himself for a minute before deciding to lie a little. Okay, so he didn't actually live in Kentucky, it was close right? He could fake that. He was never going to meet anyone from the internet so it didn't matter if he lied, right? And the last thing he wanted was to give out enough information to be stalked. No matter how it seemed, this guy could be 50 and living ten miles away.

SexyLaxStar: Well, to answer your question, I may live in Paris now, but apparently we're moving. I don't know where to yet, but I've been informed that it will be somewhere in america and I'll probably be going to a boarding school. Up until now I've always gone to private schools but within driving distance of home. Apparently the midwest is not so accommodating. I came to this chatroom hoping to get a glimpse at what I can look forward to. So far I'm not excited by the prospects.

LonelyExBoarder: Well, sorry to disappoint you, but that isn't what boarding school is really like. The one I went to was nothing like those idiots. Those guys are actually closer to my brother and his stupid friends than the boys at school.

SexyLaxStar: Ah, so 'exboarder' means former boarding school student? I'd wondered. You hardly seem the type for skateboarding and snowboarding.

LonelyExBoarder: *snort* I'll take that as a compliment. Yes, that's what it means. I'm actually only a few days removed. It was too quiet here, so I needed a distraction.

SexyLaxStar: lol well, you do realize that I assumed your name meant you were a horny skateboarder right?

Kurt sits in horrified silence for a few minutes. Oh my god! Is that how people see my name? I have to get out of here!

LonelyExBoarder: I'm going to go hide in a hole and die of embarrassment now. Have a nice life.

SexyLaxStar: Wait! Lol it's not that big of a deal. At first I thought you were some horny dude that went into the wrong chatroom, because you weren't talking. Just pick a better name next time.

LonelyExBoarder: Oh, like yours? I bet you picked that one just so that people would have to call you 'Sexy' for short.

SexyLaxStar: ...I'm so transparent.

LonelyExBoarder: LOL

SexyLaxStar: Actually, I hadn't thought of that, but that's awesome! I'm definitely keeping it now. Brb have to make a new Skype account. I've been meaning to anyway, and this is perfect.

Kurt panics for a second. What if he wants to add me? No. I'm being stupid, why the hell would he want to add me to his Skype? We just met for god's sake. Still... I wouldn't mind getting to know him... I should make a new account though.

A few minutes later, Kurt had also made a new Skype account. He'd used a lot of slightly false information. He'd put his name as Eli Hudmel. He'd made no mention of his real name or his real location. He's just finished adding his picture, which was the last one he'd taken of Pavarotti before he died, when SexyLaxStar comes back.

SexyLaxStar: Nice! It wasn't taken. Now I have to start the long process of weeding through my friends list. Wish me luck.

LonelyExBoarder: Luck. Why did you need a new Skype account anyway?

SexyLaxStar: lol because I'm a manwhore and I don't want most of these people to be able to track me down after I move. Granted, I'll be in a different country, but better safe than sorry. I'll get a new phone number when I get there, obvs.

LonelyExBoarder: I'm amazed by your ego. Do you really think people would cross oceans to stalk you? You can't be THAT hot.

SexyLaxStar: lol Brb.

LonelyExBoarder: K.

By the time 'Sexy' gets back, Kurt has moved on to homework. He's not worried, Dalton was way ahead of McKinley. He does still have to do it, even if he already knows all of it. He looks up when 'Sexy' sends him an imgur link. When he clicks it, he almost falls off the bed. It's a selfie, taken in a bathroom. It's only from shoulder to knees, the only clothing; a pair of bright blue boxer-briefs and a pair of jeans left open and pulled very low. The boy's body is lean and well muscled, and undeniably hot. It's clearly a young body, probably not older than his low 20's. The abs aren't chiseled the way Sam's are, but there's no way to get around it, it's sexy as hell. And written on the arm not holding the smart phone is the message "Orly LonelyExBoarder?"

LonelyExBoarder: huh... okay. you've made your point. I still don't think people would follow you here, though. By the way, what does 'orly' mean?

SexyLaxStar: LOL ok. So my new goal in life is to teach you to speak like someone under the age of 57. 'orly?' means 'oh, really?' and for the record, 'by the way' is just 'btw' to most teenage boys.

LonelyExBoarder: Noted. But just so you know, I'm never going to use all these things if the way I type would be reduced to the first thing you said to me. Just no.

SexyLaxStar: lol noted.

Kurt spends another half an hour or so talking to the egocentric boy before he hears the front door slam. It's followed by Finn yelling up the stairs that he's home.

LonelyExBoarder: Shit. My brother is home, I gotta go. If I don't get down there and start dinner he'll burn the house down.

SexyLaxStar: Np, I'm actually going to bed now anyway. It's after midnight here.

LonelyExBoarder: Oh god! I didn't realize. You should have told me to shut up and just gone to bed. Jeez.

SexyLaxStar: Calm down, Mom. It's not earth shattering. Somehow I'll survive. Anyway, I'm logging, like I said my Skype info is Sexylaxstar, so feel free to add me if you want. If not, nice meeting ya, babe!

Before Kurt can decide what to do, 'SexyLaxStar has left the chatroom.' pops up in grey. Well, shit. Now what? No longer interested in the boarding school boys who have been ignored for over an hour, Kurt closes out that tab on his browser. The new active window on his laptop is the imgur picture he'd left up. That clears up my choice pretty quickly, doesn't it?

Switching over to Skype, Kurt adds the new contact and then closes his laptop. The ball is in his court now. But, I really need to ask him what to call him if we're going to talk. I refuse to call him Sexy. He's cocky enough.

When Kurt gets home from school the next day the first thing he does is hide himself in his room and plug in his headset. He needs to test it to make sure it still works. He'd only ever really used Skype with his dad back when he'd gone to Dalton and couldn't come home for more than two weeks in a row. He doesn't even know where his webcam is and refuses to dig it out of the boxes of Dalton blazers and textbooks that he won't need anymore. Even if he talks to this guy, he's not showing him what he looks like. Just... no way.

After Kurt had transferred to Dalton and become friends with Blaine, he'd lost a lot of his self confidence. Before, he'd dressed in corsets and skirts and damn anyone who didn't like it. And to a certain extent he still felt that way... unless he was talking to a gay guy. Apparently, that was different. Who cared if the straight idiots at McKinley didn't like him? As long as he liked how he dressed or looked, they could go to hell. But being told buy another gay guy that he wasn't attractive or sexy... Kurt didn't think he could take that again. He'd had too many unrequited crushes to allow this very hot guy the ammo to shoot him down again.

In fact, it wasn't just his face that was the problem. Kurt knew he had an innocent baby face. For the most part, he embraced it. It was cute, at least. It could be much worse. At least his skin was flawless. But... he was 'girly'. He was always hearing comments about how he was an honorary girl, how fem he was. He was mistaken for his mother on the phone for Christ's sake. So clearly, just hiding his face from 'Sexy' wasn't the answer.

Kurt pulled up a program that he'd used to record a few songs. He picked a few short sentences and repeated them in different registers of his voice. His normal voice was just way too high. He sounded like a girl, and since he had no desire to provide a picture, he couldn't afford for the obviously gay boy to doubt that he wasn't one for a second. So he skipped forward to the next key.

He finally settled on a tone that hit just low enough that he sounded only vaguely fem, but wouldn't hurt his voice to use for prolonged periods. Thank god my voice is so versatile. The last thing I need is him laughing at my girly shrieks.

When Kurt realizes how pathetic this all seems he flops back on his bed, away from the laptop and all that it represents. I had no idea I was this insecure about myself. Why do I feel the need to lie this much, put this much effort into changing myself, for I guy I barely know and shouldn't care about at all?

Deciding that all of this was just stupid and he shouldn't bother, Kurt closes the laptop without shutting down and goes to see what the guys are doing.

He's unsurprised to find Finn, Puck and Sam all sprawled out on the couch and chair, passing a bag of chips and controllers between them. Kurt sighs as he moves closer, already regretting coming out of hiding.

Finn looks up first, "Hey, little bro!"

Puck looks up next, "Oh my god! Does the princess grace us with his presence?"

Sam slaps Puck, saying, "Maybe if you weren't such a douche, he'd come around more often, think of that?"

Since Finn is in the chair and Sam and Puck each have an end of a couch, Kurt is left with the option of sitting between them or moving on to find something else to do. He sails right past them, deciding to go find a snack.

Once he'd loaded a small bowl with greek yogurt and fresh berries, Kurt tries to sit at the kitchen table, ignoring the boys behind him. Instead he hears Puck yelp in pain, followed by,

"Okay, okay! I'm sorry, Kurt! Come back, I'll play nice."

When Kurt continues to ignore them, Sam says, "Come on, Kurt. You know he was just kidding. He got locked in a port-a-potty for you, ya know?"

Hearing a smack, Kurt turns just in time to see Puck glaring at Sam, "Dammit, dude! I'm pretty sure he was the only person that didn't know about that!"

"Oh, no. I knew about it. Mercedes texted me before the smell wore off. But what does that have to do with me?" Kurt raises an eyebrow, walking closer, bitchface in place and a hand on his cocked out hip.

Finn laughs, "He'd just yelled at Karofsky for chasing you out of the school when he and Azimio turned on him. They were probably just pissed that even though you weren't there, we were still sticking up for you."

Kurt huffs, "Sounds more like they just didn't like being reminded I existed. Whatever, move your feet at least?"

Puck smirks, "You can always sit on my lap, babe!"

Kurt reaches out to smack Noah on the back of the head and waits for them to move their feet, not even dignifying him with a response. Sam chuckles at Puck's pout and turns to face the front so Kurt can sit down. Sitting as close to Sam as he can without climbing all over him, Kurt tries to ignore the idiots and their resumed Halo match. After his snack is finished though, he just leans back, watching the game but finding no relief from his boredom.

The guys all try to teach him the basic concepts of the game but he really has no interest. After about an hour he smiles and thanks them for their efforts, even smiling at Puck, because he had made an effort to be nice. Then he goes back upstairs.

When he sits back on his bed he hesitates before opening his laptop again. He still thinks he's being sad and pathetic, but honestly? He's surrounded by straight guys that just don't get it. Even if Puck is bi, which he's yet to see proven except in rumor, they are just so... different. Granted, it doesn't seem like 'Sexy' is all that different from them, but at least he's gay.

Shaking his head at himself, Kurt sits back and waits for his computer to load back up. I'm being stupid. Not only am I sad and pathetic for freaking out over some random guy thinking I'm girly, but now I'm freaking out over freaking out. Jesus.

When Kurt sees a Skype window pop up, he panics a little. Apparently 'Sexy' is really Sebastian Smythe. Well, that's trusting of him. It does sound fake though, so maybe he's not that stupid? Who makes another account to hide from people and puts their real name?

Sebastian: Hey! So, did you make a new account like a creeper, just for me, or are you new to Skype? (also kind of creepy, because you clearly created this account yesterday. Dafuq?)

Eli: Which answer will creep you out the most? That one. Um, no, lol. Actually I just never used Skype much. I only had it for family before now. I'm kind of terrified of meeting internet people. My dad instilled a healthy fear of pedophiles into me. And honestly, I wanted to make an account with a fake name. (what does dafuq mean?)

Sebastian: So, your name is not, in fact, Eli Hudmel? (what the fuck)

Eli: No, it isn't. It means something personal to me, but it's not my name. Maybe I'll tell you one day =P

Sebastian: I'm guessing since you won't tell me your name, you also won't give me your phone number or get on a webcam. Are you averse to at least listening to me on mic? Bc honestly? I don't want to type at the moment. I had practice today and everything hurts.

Eli: Um lol... sure? You can do whatever you want. I just... yeah, will not be webcaming. I am (tentatively) okay with using a mic myself.

Sebastian: Whatever I want huh? ;)

Oh god. Now look what I've done. Have to make that stop. They could come up here... oh sure. Like that's the only problem with that scenario.

Eli: Okay! I stand corrected. Clothes must stay on. Among other reasons, there are people here, and my brother would freak the hell out if he came into my room to see a naked boy on my screen.

Sebastian: LMAO chill, babe. I was kidding... sort of. Anyway, lemme grab my camera and put a shirt on.

Kurt tries to pretend he's not hyperventilating. By the time Sebastian comes back, Kurt has calmed down and is reasonably sure his voice won't crack like a 12 year old. At the last second, as the call starts, Kurt decides to go through with the deeper voice idea.

When Kurt accepts the call, he waits a few seconds for everything to connect and when the picture loads up of a very hot guy with a smirk on his face, Kurt stops breathing. He's never been so glad before that his mic is cheap and not that sensitive.

He watches Sebastian adjust the headset a little before saying, "So... can you hear me?"

Swallowing, Kurt responds with, "Yes, can you hear me?" in his slightly deeper than usual tone.

Sebastian smiles, "Hey! You sound hot! Are you sure I can't talk you into using a webcam? Do you have one?"

Deciding to dodge that landmine before it can even be put down, Kurt says, "No. Like I said, I only had Skype before for family, and it was mainly my dad and brother, they knew what I looked like."

"Damn. Oh well, can't blame me for trying."

Kurt laughs, only afterward realizing that if the guy paid attention, he'd notice that his laugh is a little higher than his 'voice'. Shit. I have to be more careful. We've been at this for like 20 seconds and I've already slipped.

Coughing slightly, Kurt says, "So... now what? And before you can smirk out something ridiculous, I already said we're keeping clothes on."

Pouting slightly, Sebastian says, "Come on! You act like I'm ugly. Clearly, I'm sexy as hell. So what's the problem?"

Scoffing, Kurt says, "You're just so freaking cocky. You're not that hot, ya know? Granted, I half expected you to be a butterface, but I guess your face isn't that bad either." Kurt's just being an ass now, and he knows it. But he knows enough guys like Sebastian to know it's good for them to be given a reality check every now and then. God, look at Noah. That boy needs to get over himself.

"I don't think I've ever actually met someone that could resist my charms this well before. This is kind of amazing. You must be a total babe."

Kurt laughs at the notion, "Oh god. I wish. No. I'm just used to my brother's friends. You can't be around that much sexy and let it affect you. Especially when one of them attempts to embarrass you at school by hitting on you."

"See, I can't believe you. In your own words, how hot could they be? To leave you immune to all of this?" Sebastian makes a gesture at himself likes he's Vanna White.

Kurt smiles widely, an idea forming. "Okay, I'll show you. Hang on." Not knowing how to work Skype enough to figure out how to mute the mic, Kurt just wraps his hand around it, yelling out, "Sam! Can you come here for a sec, sweetie?"

A few seconds later he hears running footsteps on the stairs and looks up at the door. Sam knocks and comes in, closely followed by Puck. "What's up?"

Making sure his hand is still covering the mic, Kurt says, "Noah! I didn't say you could come into my room. I just called for Sam."

Puck snorts, "Yeah right, Princess. Like I'm going to give up the opportunity to be allowed in your room? Besides, Finn is stuck on the phone with Quinn. I was bored."

"Yeah, you have great timing. So what did ya need?" Sam asks.

Realizing this could actually work to his advantage, Kurt says, "Shut the door. If I tell you something, you can't tell my dad or Finn, because they would freak out and trust me, I'm being careful." They both nod and come closer when he gestures them to. Before they can see what's on his screen and start yelling he says, "Keep in mind that he can hear us, so don't say my real name. It's part of my being careful. He can't see us and he knows I've told him a fake name."

When they step closer they see Sebastian looking slightly confused but amused by the turn of events. Kurt takes his hand off the mic and says into it, "Wave hello, Sebastian." When he smirks and waves, Noah yells,

"What the hell, Princess! You wouldn't let me in your pants but you'll take them off for pixels on a screen?!"

Kurt sputters, "N-Noah! Oh my god! I'm wearing pants, you moron! I only met him yesterday, and no! I haven't taken my pants off!"

Sam has collapsed to the bed laughing at Puck's reaction. Puck is still glaring slightly at the smug smile on the dude's face. Kurt is embarrassed and regretting this whole damn thing.

Sebastian speaks up, thankfully just in the headphones, "Okay, so what does telling them about all this prove? They could be really ugly for all I know."

"Oh! Right! I forgot." Kurt turns back to the still laughing, but standing, Sam and the pouting Puck. "Okay. So what I need is for you both to take your shirts off. Or at least raise them up so I can see your chests."

Puck immediately whips his off. Sam just looks confused, then exasperated at Puck. "Really, dude? All it takes is him asking you to take clothes off and you just do it? You don't even care why?"

Puck snorts again, "Hell no. If Princess wants me naked, I'll get naked."

Kurt groans. "Noah! I don't want you naked. Stop taking off clothes! And don't you have a girlfriend? Jesus. This was a terrible idea."

Sebastian finally chips in with, "I don't know what's so terrible about it. It sounds like you have a half naked hot guy in your room that wants to fuck you, what's the downside?"

Muttering, "Shut up, Sebastian." Kurt looks back up at his friends. "Since at least Sam asked; Sebby here, has a serious ego problem. He thinks he's just oh so hot. So I needed a guy with a better body than him to prove that I was immune. Seeing Sam running around in gold briefs right after meeting him has pretty much killed my blushing virgin routine."

Puck grins, "Lies. You still blush like a virgin when I talk about your ass. Especially in school."

Kurt says, "Shut up, Noah. Anyway, what I wanted was to take a picture of Sam to send him, to show him why I'm unaffected. I will of course be showing only chests, it's the internet. I'll leave faces out of it."

Puck pipes in with, "Sure, whatever. I can tell by looking that his guns aren't better than mine."

Sam's competitive nature comes out as he eyes up Sebastian. "I'm in, as long as he also sends one, so I know I won."

Kurt giggles, "Actually, I can already show you. Like I said, he thinks he's the hottest thing ever, he's already sent me a picture of him shirtless."

When Kurt pulls up the picture, he realizes how stupid that was when both Puck and Sebastian raise their eyebrows. Shit.

Puck gets there first, "Okay, so you haven't taken your pants off, but clearly he has no problem taking off his own."

This is quickly followed by Sebastian's smirky, "Did you save the picture? How is that supposed to convince me I'm not hot?"

Kurt groans again, slumping down against his headboard. "Shut up. Both of you." Looking up at Sam, he asks, "So how bout it?"

He shrugs, "Sure."

After Sam takes his shirt off, Kurt gets up, having them stand against his door. Taking a quick picture of their chests with his cell phone, Kurt thanks them. When he walks back to the bed and puts the headphones back on, he's surprised to see them putting their shirts on and then walking back over.

"Uh... no, really. Thanks guys! You can go now."

Sam smiles, "Nope! I want to see his reaction." Puck nods, agreeing.

Kurt seems to have finally caught on to his error. "Oh, no! You guys are not going to sit here and play chaperone. I'm a big boy, I can take care of myself. I'm sure he'll be crying tears of jealousy, I'll tell you about it at school."

Puck just smirks, "What's wrong, Princess? Don't want us crashing your cyber date?"

Kurt pulls out his bitchface and is about to tear into Puck when they hear a yell from downstairs. "Guys? Where'd ya go?"

Sam, seeing the chance for escape says, "Right! You can just tell me how it goes tomorrow! I'm going back to Halo."

Puck doesn't move, just crosses his arms, smirking. Kurt decides to change tactics. He says, "Noah. You know what all I've been through, don't you think I can handle a picture on a screen? I'm not stupid. He doesn't know where we live, he doesn't know my real name, I won't give him my phone number. It's fine. Thank you for the concern, but he's not a jock you can punch in the face and make it all better. Besides, we both know you don't want to go back to juvie."

Puck snorts, "Some things are more important, Princess. But fine, I'll go. But if you guys end up actually sharing that kind of information and you decide to meet up, or whatever, I want to know. I'm going with you." At Kurt's nod of acceptance, Puck decides to push his luck, "And you have to sit with me at lunch tomorrow. You're ruining my rep, dude!"

Kurt scoffs, "It's not my fault you started hitting on the gay kid at school and are now getting laughed at for it, Noah."

"They aren't laughing because I'm hitting on you! They're laughing because you keep shutting me down!" Puck seems genuinely upset by this.

Kurt finally concedes, "Okay, but you have to stop talking about my ass in school. If you want to keep up the joke at home, fine. But if you stop hitting on me at school, people will stop laughing at you for getting turned down. I'll stick close enough to you at school that it's obvious we're just friends if you stop hitting on me."

Puck finally grumbles, "Who's joking? And fine. I guess people laughing about me being friend-zoned is better than people just thinking I'm pathetic. Whatever. But I mean it about Pretty Boy over there. You meet, I'm going with you."

Kurt nods. "Fine. Now go." Puck huffs and stomps out. When Kurt turns back to his laptop, he's surprised to see Sebastian looking kind of pissy. "What's wrong, Sebastian?"

"Oh! Remembered I exist, huh? Why do they assume I have a windowless van? Or that I'd even agree to meet up with you? What the hell was all that about?"

Kurt bites his lip. He didn't really want to tell Sebastian about the David thing... maybe he can just get away with a half-assed explanation?

"Sorry! They're really overprotective. I was bullied at school by a couple football players. Noah was in juvie when it was happening so he feels guilty about not being around to help me. My brother is worse. So, yeah. Sorry about that."

Sebastian just huffs, "It's fine. Whatever. Sorry you had a rough time at school." After a few awkward seconds, Sebastian asks, "So, do I get to see the picture that launched a thousand bitchfests?"

"Oh! Sure. Hang on." Kurt quickly emails the picture to himself, and throws it up on imgur. Sebastian raises his eyebrows.

"Damn! Okay, so you have a point. Which one is 'Noah'?"

Kurt coughs, "The tanned one. Sam is the abs."

Sebastian is clearly still staring at the picture, then he turns to look at the camera, like he can see Kurt and is trying to figure him out. "So, you have a really sexy friend who wants to sleep with you and you keep turning him down? How was this supposed to convince me you aren't hot?"

Kurt groans again. "He's just kidd- Okay, ya know what? Fine. My dad is coming home soon, so I have to go start dinner. I'm going to send you a similar picture to that one, only of myself and still wearing clothes. You'll see exactly why I don't think I'm hot."

Kurt tugs his clothes down and goes to stand against his door, taking a quick selfie. After he's sure that his face isn't in it, he goes back to the bed, posting it on imgur. Looking at his picture next to Sebastian's and his friends', Kurt can't help but deflate. Well, it was nice talking to this guy while I could.

Huffing, Kurt goes to post the link, saying quickly. "It was nice knowing ya, Sebastian. I've gotta go."

Kurt quickly hangs up the call and goes down to the kitchen, not waiting for a response.

Later on, when he comes up for bed, he goes to shut his laptop down only to find an alert from Sebastian. He'd sent him an IM before logging off himself. Kurt smiles slightly at the cocky message.

Sebastian: I knew you weren't going to be all built and muscled like I am, you always said you were fem. Doesn't mean you aren't hot. ;)

Kurt talks to Sebastian almost everyday for the next few weeks. When the entire glee club had accused him of 'cheating on Blaine' Kurt had almost lost it. He'd told them that he wasn't dating Blaine, so cheating on him would be impossible. They hadn't believed him. They had all pointed out that the duet at regionals made it clear they were dating. And sure... that looked bad. But they wouldn't even let him explain!

The only one that knew and accepted that he wasn't with Blaine was Puck, but he thought Kurt was dating Sebastian, so he was still labeled a cheater. At least Puck hadn't named his 'boyfriend' in class. Kurt really couldn't win. The only consolation he'd had that week had been that Sebastian could tell that he'd been upset and had shelved his usual cocky asshole routine and listened to Kurt rant.

Kurt had told him everything about Blaine except his name. He'd actually been rather upset with himself for letting 'Noah', 'Sam' and 'Finn' slip out that day. He'd told Sebastian about regionals. How Blaine had kissed him, attempted to date him, and rekindled Kurt's affections for him, just to decide that he didn't like Kurt that way after all, sorry. Kurt had been hurt and upset by the rejection. What made it worse was that before regionals, Kurt had mostly managed to put his Blaine feelings aside. It had been months with no sign of his feelings changing. Then, within a week, Blaine had kissed him and then turned him down all over again.

It was a bit of a sore spot.

When prom rolled around, Kurt had still asked Blaine to go with him. They weren't dating, but even with Kurt's return to McKinley, Blaine was still his best friend. Blaine had understood about prom, and they hadn't planned on actually dancing or anything. Of course, he hadn't planned on being crowned fucking prom queen either. That was a story he hadn't shared with Sebastian. Even though he hadn't told Seb about what happened, he still seemed to pick up on Kurt's bad mood and hadn't asked how prom went. They just pretended it didn't exist.

He'd wanted to tell Sebastian all about nationals. About how amazing New York was, and how he couldn't wait to move there. He wanted to gush about the whole experience, even though they had lost. But he couldn't. He 'lived in Kentucky'. He didn't know how much Sebastian knew about show choir but it wasn't worth the risk, so he just said he would be too busy to sign on and he'd see him in a few days. When he got back, he pretended his entire future hadn't just been decided. He'd gushed to Blaine instead. He valiantly ignored Blaine's slightly dreamy look and hoped another 'you move me' comment wasn't forthcoming. Before Kurt could implement his plan of crawling out the bathroom window to escape the conversation, they were interrupted by Sam and Mercedes.

Now all Kurt had to do was figure out why the idea of Blaine liking him had worried him so badly...