Pyrrha the Loophole Guy

A/N:This one came to mind after seeing DashingIceCream's drawing of Yang cutting Ruby's food. Check out her Tumblr, the jokes she draws out are pretty great, the kind of thing that can't really be done with a purely text format. Shout out to Jefardi, who got me started on this ship. As always, review and tell me what you like, check my poll, and feel free to send out requests, I love getting them.

It was a pretty normal day in Beacon's cafeteria, Pyrrha noted. Yang was flirting with Weiss, Weiss was glaring at Yang, Blake was reading, Nora was talking Ren's ear off, Jaune was sneaking glances at Weiss when he thought she wasn't looking.

Something was missing...

Ah, there it was! Ruby was picking at her food, her distaste showing clearly on her face.

Pyrrha raised an eyebrow, but before she could say anything Yang spoke up.

"Somethin wrong, sis?" The blonde threw a look to Weiss, who shrugged. Blake put down her book, shaking her head at Yang.

Neither of them knew anything, then.

Ruby muttered a response.

"What, sis?"

"Nothing's wrong. I just can-" Ruby started, then her eyes jumped up, looking at the rest of her friends around the table, each looking at her with concern. Her face went lightly red, and she put her utensils down. "I mean, I'm not hungry."

Naturally, her stomach chose that moment to growl.

Yang's face lit up. "Oh, I see. You having trouble cutting it?"

Ruby's face did not light up, though some would say her blush was positively luminescent. "I- no! I'm not some little kid, I can cut my own steak, it's just-"

"You don't want it touching the mashed potatoes, I know, how many times have I cut your food before?" Yang was smiling, seemingly oblivious to her sister's growing similarity to a tomato, as she walked around the table and grabbed Ruby's knife, dutifully going to work on the steak.

"Yang!"

"What?!" Yang looked at Ruby, then back at the food. "Nothing's touching..."

She looked back up at Ruby, then out at the rest of the table.

A simply devious smirk graced the blonde's features, and Pyrrha felt a flash of fear run through her. Weiss and Blake's eyes widened almost comically, and Weiss got up and left the table, not quite running away but definitely moving at a speed much greater than her usual brisk walk. Blake seemed to disappear behind the book she'd previously abandoned, making herself appear much smaller than what should have been possible.

Yang threw an arm around Ruby's shoulders, the poor girl trying and failing to wriggle away.

"Aw, sis, what's the matter? You're not embarrassed, are ya?" Yang put on a hurt expression for a moment, but dropped it in favor of a wide smile. "I can't help it! You know I just looooove taking care of my baby sister!"

"Yang!" Ruby whined, "Stop it!"

"Aw, Ruby, what's the matter? Is it cause there's guys around?" The temperature seemed to drop ten degrees from the look she directed towards Jaune and Ren. "It's good for them to see stuff like this. Reminds them how much I care about you."

Ruby halfheartedly tried to struggle away, her eyes on the food Yang was still cutting.

"And if they have a problem with it..." Yang smirked at Ren, then blew a kiss at Jaune. "They should speak up."

As Pyrrha expected, no one said anything. This only seemed to egg Yang on.

"After all, anyone looking to date my sister's gotta be brave enough to stand up to lil old me..."

"Yang, that's-"

"Ah, lil sis, I'm just trying to look out for ya! I mean, if anyone thinks they're good enough, they can fucking" She paused, then put on the most ridiculous face she could muster. "Fight me."

Jaune let out a bit of nervous laughter, and she turned her gaze on him. He noticeably paled.

Pyrrha bristled. The boy's confidence was bad enough without having Yang's brand of... 'humor' bringing him down. Pyrrha's eyes lit up. She had a plan.

"What's up, Jauney? Wanna... go a few rounds?"

Pyrrha stood up, and Yang's vision flicked to her.

"Aw, Pyrrha, you too? Alright, but I'm not sure if I've got the stamina to put up with both of you!" She elbowed Blake, who tried to sink further into her seat.

To Yang's great confusion, Pyrrha didn't stop, opting to keep walking towards the blonde whilst ignoring the blush she knew was covering her face.

She came to a halt in front of Yang, who was still holding onto Ruby. To the blonde's credit, she didn't try to use her sister as a shield.

Pyrrha bent down.

She looked into Yang's eyes.

She bent further.

She brushed her lips against Ruby's.

She smirked at Yang, and whispered to her. "Fucking fight me."

Then she spun on her heel and walked off, making her way to a training room, leaving behind many faces bearing incredulous expressions, Ruby's contemplative, and Yang's mix of confusion and rage.

/

After doubling her usual routine, Pyrrha was a tad sore.

Granted, there'd been no real reason to lengthen the day's training, but she hadn't wanted to return to her dorms and find an angry Yang.

Or worse, have to face whatever ideas Nora had gotten into her head while she was gone.

And, if the grueling routine helped put to rest any guilt she harbored over kissing Ruby without asking, surely embarrassing the younger girl, that was just a bonus.

Still, Pyrrha had wanted nothing more than to go back to the dorm and sleep the aches away. So when she ran into someone running down the hall, and was knocked onto her rear, she was less than happy.

Years of maintaining a less-than-wanted celebrity had made Pyrrha a master at controlling what came out of her mouth. It was a skill most people learned before their fifteen minutes of fame were up, and Pyrrha was no exception, having learned from the negative example of one of Mother's favorite action stars.

Pyrrha had no intentions of ending up like Yel Gibson, that was for sure.

So, yes, when Pyrrha landed on sore muscles, she nearly cursed at the person, but held back. Which was made much easier when she spotted the girl's distinctive red cloak.

"H-hey! Pyrrha, I was looking for you!" Ruby pulled her to her feet. "So, I got two... uh...tickets to that Spruce Willis movie next Friday, and I was wondering..." She kicked the ground idly, a blush making itself evident on her face.

Pyrrha's eyes were kept from widening only through stretching the limits of her mental discipline.

While outwardly she presented the image of the interested friend, inwardly her thought were... less maintained.

'Oh shit oh shit oh shit shit shit shit shit shit shit. What do I do? I can't just turn her down, not after what happened earlier, she'll be mortified! And she's kind of cute when she smiles like that and do I even want-'

Ruby was looking at her expectantly.

"I'd, uhm... that would... It sounds like fun!" She gave Ruby an encouraging smile.

The younger girl's eyes shot down to stare at her feet. "Uh... yeah. I guess I'll pick you up at seven?"

"S- sure thing."

A moment of silence followed, before they started speaking simultaneously.

"Well, I've gotta train, so-"

"I'd best get to the room-"

"Yeah, they were kinda worried about you, and-"

"Yeah..."

Yet another silence reigned.

Pyrrha started to walk away, and Ruby, casting about for a closing remark, said something Yang had told her would certainly impress the redhead.

Of course, Yang hadn't accounted for her sister's lack of social knowledge, or she'd have instructed Ruby specifically on how to say the line, and when.

"Well, Pyrrha, looks like the next kiss will be on my terms!" She said, sounding as if she was challenging the champ.

She put her face in her hands as soon as she said it, and Pyrrha nearly followed her example.

Neither of them knew how to respond to that, and vacated the premises at speeds that most would doubt Pyrrha to be capable of.