The thing that both Merlin and Harry noticed, but never put much thought into, was that Eggsy didn't really take after his father Lee all that much. He had his father's bravery, and clear sense of unflinching loyalty, (albeit offered a little more warily, but that could be put down to the obvious trauma of having that unmitigated arsehole for a stepfather and growing up in the rough as he had since Lee's death,) and that was good enough for the both of them.

In retrospect, Merlin considered with more than a little dismay as he re-watched the footage taken from Lancelot's glasses, they perhaps should have been paying a bit more attention.

But then, maybe it was a mistake that could be forgiven, because it wasn't exactly a natural or normal progression of logic to assume that a boy would be the last to test his parachute or stay firm in refusing to spill his guts despite the fact that a fucking train was going to run through them because going splat would be a temporary inconvenience for him.

A knock came at the door, and Merlin turned slowly to see Eggsy standing on the slightly worn green carpet of Merlin's office looking decidedly sheepish.

Merlin, still sitting in his wing-backed leather office chair, just stared at him.

Eggsy cringed a little.

There was a brief silence.

Merlin continued to just stare at him.

Inevitably, Eggsy broke it when he started babbling.

"Well it ain't like something I really wanted to get around, you know? Mum's the only other person alive who knew about it, though most people back on the block knew I weren't Lee Unwin's kid except in the sense he 'alf-raised me, they never really asked questions like. She was already preggers with me when they met, so I guess they just assumed the previous boyfriend was a bit of a deadbeat." He paused to grin a little crookedly. "Seeing as I ain't seen hide nor shiny hair of the bastard for years at a time I 'spose they weren't super wrong, though he has always given the best birthday presents. Not Christmas though, since he don't hold with worshipping other pantheons."

The thing was, Merlin groaned internally, maybe he should have seen this coming.

"I have footage here of you from Lancelot's glasses," Merlin stated.

Eggsy nodded. "Yeah, I was afraid of that. I knew either way from her reaction that Rox weren't going to be able to keep 'er mouth shut on this one."

"Well to be fair," Merlin said, tipping his head to one side, "she did see you get hit by submachine gun fire that practically cut you in half, and then proceed to walk it off."

Eggsy shrugged and grinned innocently. "Well, I did tell youse I might not come with a silver spoon shoved up me arse, but I had more'na bit to offer Kingsman."

Merlin ignored that in favour of stating, "You then proceeded to walk up to the Mafia woman who shot you, and told her that you had this itching sensation in your kidneys, could she be a mate and scratch it." Merlin wondered if he sounded hysterical. He certainly felt a little hysterical.

Eggsy shrugged again. "Well, it were a psychological ploy, now, weren't it. It worked a treat too, shoulda seen the look on 'er face- oh wait, you woulda from the glasses."

"Indeed," replied Merlin. And admittedly, were the circumstances a little different, the look of abject shock on one of the most deadly enforcers for the London branch of the mafia would have been hilarious. (Come to think of it, now that Merlin was in on the joke, maybe it would be in retrospect, although he supposed the very expensive therapy bill that Lancelot had threatened to send him would wipe any smile off his face.)

Merlin paused for a moment, before saying a little plaintively, "I don't suppose you could have mentioned this whole basically immortal thing a little earlier?"

Eggsy smirked, shaking his head. "Nah. It's against the rules. I'm 'sposed to be spending a human lifespan formin' attachments and learnin' shit like what pain and disrespect feels like so I don't turn into an utter cunt when I inherit the full powerset." His expression turned contemplative. "Not that that always helps, but that's the theory anyway." He shrugged. "'Sides, when people figure it out they go all weird like."

"I cannot imagine why," Merlin said, resisting the urge to bury his hands in his face and hyperventilate at the thought of a chaos vector like Gary "Eggsy" "Galahad" Unwin inheriting a full set of divine powers.

"I am sorry about 'Arry though," continued Eggsy, suddenly turning serious. "I'm not able or allowed to interfere with death. Would piss Uncle Pluto off something chronic," (Merlin nearly choked on nothing at Uncle Pluto, though Eggsy if he noticed kindly pretended not to,) "which I might 'ave risked if I thought there was even the slightest joke of a chance I could pull it off rather than bringin' back a zombie, and part of this whole human lifespan thing is suffering grief and loss just like the rest of humans, no divine cheating allowed," he explained morosely, head hanging.

Merlin nodded gravely. He had heard that that was the case with fledgling gods, but he was glad Eggsy had confirmed it. It would have been disappointing to say the least to learn that one of his favourite agents was the sort to only pretend to grieve with Merlin over one of his oldest friends.

(Now that he knew that Eggsy is basically immortal, Merlin is sure, in that dark corner of his mind that he usually saves for dealing with the very worst nemeses that had Eggsy simply let Harry die out of neglect and then proceeded to lie to him, well then…

Merlin might have felt justified in testing the limits of that immortality at great length.)

"So who is he? Your biological father," Merlin clarified when Eggsy looked mildly confused.

Eggsy grinned brightly.

"What, the shoes weren't a tipoff?"

Realisation dawned.

"Hermes?"

Eggsy nodded, correcting, "'E prefers Mercury, since 'herm' brings to mind a bunch of sculptures ostensibly in his honour that consist of head, pillar instead of body, and cock." Eggsy grinned. "Some of the others still give him shit over that, but considering the sheer number of half-sibs I got runnin' around, them Ancient Greeks might 'ave 'ad a point."

Dear Gods, Goddesses and all the little fishes, Merlin thought, a little dazed as he took in the blonde godling lounging in the doorway of his office.

The idea that there might be similar people to Eggsy running about was more than a little daunting.

Eggsy frowned suddenly.

"You ain't goin' to kick me out, are you? I mean, I know I lied and all, even though twas by omission, but I'm not sposed to tell people, and this Kingsman gig is the most fun I've 'ad all me life," he threw Merlin a pair of puppy eyes that he must have learned from that ridiculous pug of his. "I really am sorry I gave you all a bit of a turn, but I ain't sorry you know now."

Merlin stared (he was doing a lot of that today), and slowly shook his head.

"I'm sure we at Kingsman can find some use for another agent who can shrug off bullet wounds," Merlin said dryly. (He hoped that Eggsy would eventually forgive him.)

Eggsy grinned, cheered raucously, punching the air, and then paused.

"Wait, another agent?"

"Hello Eggsy."

Eggsy practically levitated as the man who had stepped up behind him revealed his presence.

He spun in place, hands thrown up defensively in reflex, but when he saw the speaker, with his crisp suit, greying hair and tired eyes, he dropped them simultaneously with his jaw.

"Holy fuck."

Harry Hart shrugged elegantly. "That is what brought us both to this situation," he quipped.

Seeing the rush of emotions that fought to stay on Eggsy's face, Merlin was grateful to see that the one that lingered was disbelieving glee.

(It seemed that he might be forgiven after all.)

The two of them stepped into the office, and sat down on the couch Merlin kept for when he wanted a quick afternoon nap, and just stared at each other, marvelling at each other's existence.

Having a suspicion as to where this might be going, Merlin quietly strode out of his office, and shut the door behind him to give them both some privacy for whatever noisy emotional reaction was about to ensue.

In the corridor, he spotted a shell-shocked looking Roxy staring at the now closed door.

"Tell me that I'm not the only human in Kingsman," Roxy breathed after a moment, still staring at the closed door.

Merlin shook his head. "As far as I'm aware, it's just those two who are not."

Roxy shuddered. "Pantheons help us. But at least they're on our side."

"Indeed."

Merlin offered his arm and she took it automatically.

"Scotch?"

"…there's a bottle of 12 year old hidden in the third cabinet in the sitting room."

"I know, I put it there."

"Let's put a dent in it, shall we?"

"Indeed."

And if the two of them were visibly nursing hangovers the next morning, well, Harry and Eggsy knew better than to comment.

...

A/N: not 100% happy with the ending, but I got all the jokes I wanted in this in this, so eh.