Chapter 01 - Sarcasm

"Do you know anything about this new host, Don?"

"He appears to have evolved, no scales or other reptilian features. He may very well be human, which is quite the improvement over so many others."

"You want a napkin, or are you going to wipe your mouth on the camel too?"

"We're in Paris, city of love, going through a sewer full of skulls. Maybe love is dead, the evidence points to it."

"You know, if someone had told me three years ago that I'd be riding on a dwindling hunk of cheese down a river in Paris, I would have called them insane. … And I still would, this is solar-powered flashlight levels of wrong."

"I must have deleted the iSanity app on my phone by accident, because apparently iLost it."

"It's amazing how shockingly humble Olympians can be, huh? The respectful manner is just praise-worthy. Maybe they should give metals for that."

"If I'm wrong, feel free to shoot me. With a paintball gun of course, let's not go crazy here, we are Canadian."

"During the summer, does her dress migrate to warmer climates?"

"Okay, blink once for yes, blink two for no. I'm trying to set up some kind of communication here, if that's possible."

Attraction comes in many forms. For some, seeing someone with a kind heart and a fine mind are the most impressive qualities. Some are attracted to power, money, and/or a stable lifestyle with another person. For a lot of boys (and some girls), big breasts and a pretty face are enough.

For Crimson, it was the amount of snarky comments that came from Noah, including, or quite possibly especially, the ones directed at her and Ennui.

Since Morocco, Crimson had been listening in on Noah's quips on the challenges and other contestants. She realized that she could have been staring at him quite a bit too; however, as the goth gal's normal visage was a blasé stare, she wasn't too likely to be caught.

The commentary from the know-it-all wasn't nonstop, he definitely wasn't trying to be funny. Even with Owen's bemused giggling over some of the remarks, it didn't appear he was speaking to entertain others.

The teams for Ridonculous Race were all now in Iceland, having to navigate a field full of geysers, needing to recite a line in Icelandic to the oddly dressed but rather attractive woman for a tip. Ennui and Crimson had shown up right before the Mom & Daughter team, just to see the mom be sent back across the geyser field by her daughter.

This stirred quite a bit of anger in the goth gal, but luckily, she was good at hiding such emotions.

When Crimson had recited the line perfectly to the Icelandic native, Noah and Owen were right behind her and Ennui. The know-it-all approached next, and recited the line just fine. Crimson heard him use a pronunciation habit of hers, and realized he had double-checked himself listening to her.

When she stared at him, a little impressed by his tactic, he finally noticed her. As she and Ennui were relatively silent, Noah started to have a field day with trying to provoke a reaction. He started with the blinking remark, then carried on.

"Okay, someone call the show's paramedics," he called out, "I think the goths died standing up!"

"But they're blinking," Owen pointed out, his eyes widening in growing panic.

"Yes, and their hair and nails are probably still growing too," the know-it-all remarked.

Crimson winced. She had to, or something that never happened was going to. Noah noticed this right away, and smirked. "There's your movement for you, Owen. Thanks for the wince, everybody's a critic."

She held herself back more, her eyes squinting and her mouth biting down on the inside of her mouth. On the outside, it appeared like she was wincing a great deal. This was probably best, because Noah stopped his remarks. He motioned to Owen, who followed after him towards the helicopter; the big guy cast one more concerned look towards the goths, possibly still worried they had passed away on their feet.

"You okay?" Ennui asked Crimson.

Taking a deep breath, she calmed herself down inside. She was holding her hand on her chest, right over her bat tattoo. Her normal visage returned, and she glanced up at Ennui. "I'm fine. Let's go."

The two walked to the helicopter as well, and seated themselves next to the Reality TV Pros. The snarky repertoire was gone, as Owen was close to having a panic attack being in the helicopter.

"How much longer we gotta stay in here?" he hollered, eyes darting towards the open hatch.

Noah did a quick headcount of the teams before and after them: the Ice Dancers, the Vegans, the Fashion Bloggers, and then the Goths. "We only need to wait for one more team. Just get out Barry and calm yourself down."

Owen did just that, squeezing the teddy bear. The whimpering continued until Noah, rolling his eyes as he realized additional comfort was needed, rubbed the big guy's upper arm. "There there," he said. "It cannot be too long."

"How hard is it to say one sentence in another language?" Owen wailed.

"Um, excuse me," Tom spoke, holding up his hands to shield him from Owen. "If you're going to scream, could you not face me? You're getting saliva on my designer top."

"Oh, sorry," Owen apologized. He promptly turned around, facing Noah, and shrieked out the rest of his panic.

"Thank you," Tom said with an appreciative smile. "Most kind of you."

"WHAT?" Noah asked, eyes wide and hair windswept back, the hurricane known as Owen's flight panic having done a number on him.

The next team to finally enter the helicopter was the Sisters. Emma appeared annoyed by Kitty, who was taking more selfies than normal by now. As the helicopter finally took off, the teams were all pretty quiet.

When it landed ten minutes later, Owen nearly beat the Ice Dancers out of it with his desperation to get off the plane. As the teams reached the Don Box and received their next tip, Noah watched Owen kiss the ground most gratefully.

"Careful, big guy," the know-it-all called out, "this is Iceland, your lips may get frozen to the ground that way."

"Good, then I'll never leave it again."

Noah rolled his eyes, and read the tip. "Either/Or. We have to either eat an Icelandic Feast, or mine for fossils. I don't know, big guy, you feel like eating something? Or you not up for that-"

A white blur with a Canadian maple leaf centered on it yanked Noah off the ground, heading towards a rather long table full of trays. Owen giggled in excitement, and declared, "Flying always makes me hungry!"

"Everything makes you hungry," Noah grumbled, squirming to remove himself from Owen's grasp. "Even eating makes you hungry!"

"Eating food reminds me of other foods I'd like to eat!"

Don walked up to the table, and lifted the warmer lid on the tray. The copious amount of meat, including a sheep head with green eyeballs, made Noah's stomach dip hard.

"Is it too late to go for fossils?" he remarked.

"Momma always said," Owen whimpered, "never eat anything with a face on it."

"I am in full agreement with your mother."

Before they could turn around and walk away, Crimson and Ennui approached. The goths were undaunted by the sight of the unusual feast, Ennui even licked his lips; slowly, of course, reminding Noah a little of a snake.

"You're gonna eat that?" Owen asked them incredulously.

The two stared at him for a moment, then approached the table towards the second dish there. Noah glanced up at Owen, saying, "And here we are, studying the life habits of the goth. Their diet appears to consist of great quantities of Vitamin WTF."

Crimson slapped a hand over her mouth, turning away from everyone else. To the guys, it appeared she was temporarily disgusted by the feast before them. Owen was rather unnerved that both he and apparently the goth girl were disgusted to eat this food. "We gonna do this?" he asked his best friend.

"We've done worse. Besides, everyone and their mother is going to be mining for fossils."

Sure enough, Kelly and Taylor showed up just then. They took one look at the feast, at Ennui swallowing some of it. Both promptly threw up, and headed over towards the mines.

"See?" Noah remarked, finally removing himself from Owen's grasp and heading over to their plate. Picking up a piece of the sausage, he glanced over at Crimson, and asked, "There an Icelandic version of 'bon appetite'?"

"No," Crimson replied in her typical, monotone voice.

"Well, alright then," Noah countered, before popping the sausage into his mouth. Chewing slowly, he mumbled, "Mmm, not too bad."

"Oh goody!"

Owen was over there in a heartbeat, taking a great deal of the feast. For the most part, he had no problems with the food, and neither did Noah. The know-it-all was meticulous with eating, and the big guy wanted to savor food while he could.

This left Crimson time to watch Noah as he ate. She continued to eat, at a slightly faster pace than the pros. Though she couldn't get any answers from this bit of surveying, part of her just wanted to keep at it.

"I wonder how he does it," she thought to herself. "He always seems to have a clever remark to whatever is going on. Does he practice that? Does it just come naturally?

"Maybe he just had a lot of practice, or time alone to think of such things," she tried to mentally reason as she helped herself to some of the sheep's head. "There's something tragic about it, which is just so… artistic. I wonder if he is aware of that. I wonder if…"

"Crimson," Ennui spoke, bringing her out of her train of thought. They had all but finished their feast, with nothing left but the green eyeballs.

At this point, several of the teams were trying their stomachs to the feast: the Daters, the Rockers, the Surfer Dudes, and the return of Mother & Daughter. All of them (well, all the ones sentient, Brody was still out of it) suddenly found their attention stuck on the Goths. It wasn't every day you'd see someone eat eyeballs, certainly not with gusto.

Though neither Ennui or Crimson would do something "with gusto," they certainly had no problem tossing an eyeball each into their mouths, chewing slowly, and then swallowing. Noah, Owen, and Rock in particular stared with a combination of disgust and fascination.

"Okay, I'm going to learn how to eat through a tube from here on," Noah remarked.

Crimson covered her mouth again, biting down on her lip. Everyone mistook this for disgust, and thus the difficulty of getting back to the feast was amped up.

Luckily, even with that particular sight still fresh in his mind, Owen managed to chow down on the rest of the Icelandic feast without much hesitation. Noah plucked up one of the eyeballs, the last things to consume, and gave Owen instructions on how to handle it; this felt odd to Noah, giving his best friend tips on how to eat.

The singular eyeball felt kind of gooey and crisp at the same time, and Noah's stomach churned the entire time. He swallowed a little too soon, risking some of it being stuck in his throat, but he mentally willed his body to force it down. Owen was turning a little bit green too, but, as usual with the big guy, his mood turned joyful quickly.

"Let's hurry, I don't think anyone else but the Goths are at the Chill Zone," he declared, dashing off as soon as the words were out. Noah clutched the platter with one hand, his stomach with the other, and hurried after his friend.

It wasn't too hard to find the Chill Zone, as if the yellow carpet in the middle of the road wasn't a big enough eyesore. This was due to a rather large amount of yelling at their destination.

"THIRD PLACE?" came the highly accented voice of Josee. She had grabbed Jacques by his fur jacket, and was shaking him hard enough to transform him into a blur. "We got BRONZE! How did you fail us so, Jacques?"

If Jacques replied, he was being shaken too hard to be understood. Nearby, Crimson and Ennui watched with bored stares, and Tom and Jen were rather horrified by the aggression.

Don tried to ignore all this, as he approached Noah and Owen. "Fourth place," he announced. The two tried to smile in enjoyment, but the screaming and the taste of sheep eyeball still on their mouths made it hard to do so.

As Josee continued to tantrum it out on her partner, Noah tried to find a place to put the empty platter. She noticed Ennui had simply dropped theirs near the yellow carpet, so he dropped his on top, like a stack of dishes.

"Such senseless aggression," the know-it-all overheard Ennui remark.

Josee eventually let go of Jacques and stormed off, leaving the male skater lying on the carpet, staring up at the sky in shock and dizziness. "I was dis'appoint too," he murmured.

"Need a hand up?" Noah offered. "Or you just going to lie there and wait for death to take you? Please don't die on the carpet, I'm pretty sure they just had it washed."

A strained grunt could be heard nearby, but Noah wasn't sure who let it out. Jacques glared up at the know-it-all, and shot back, "You laugh now, little man, but we still beat you! De so-called pros lost to us yet again!"

"That's true and all, but at least my partner didn't try to shake me as if prepping a glow stick. Then again, your outfit is so bright, that might have been the original purpose."

That muffled grunt was heard again, but no one except the person doing it was aware of who it was. As Jacques stared angrily up at Noah, the scrapping sound of ice on road could be heard.

Emma was shoving a large, rectangular block of ice with a fossil trapped inside. As Don greeted them, Kitty watched her sister slump in exhaustion on the carpet, and took another selfie. "Thanks for all the help," Emma snarled, panting for air.

"You said not to~," Kitty replied, grinning mischievously.

"When did I ever say," the older sister began to say, then she remembered. Much to her chagrin, she had indeed told Kitty not to help her. "Damn it, when did you remember anything I say?"

Noah glanced over at the young woman collapsed behind the large block of ice, then back at Jacques, then over at Don. "Is this also the rest stop for tonight?" he asked the host. "There's a concerning amount of people crashing here for the end of the race."

This time, after one of Noah's remarks, the person making stifled grunts could be identified. Crimson was wincing, crossing her arms over her stomach, biting her lip. Ennui raised an eyebrow at his teammate, confused by this.

"Is she okay?" Owen asked.

"Sheep's head probably backing up on her," Noah remarked.

"Oh, is it going to ram back up her throat?" Owen joked, grinning anxiously for a reaction from his best friend.

Almost everyone groaned loudly, while Noah frowned at his best friend. "Thank you. I was having a hard time controlling my stomach, but you just had to toss that out. If I puke, it's on your shoes."

Crimson let out a tiny squeak noise, much to Noah's confusion. He walked over to the goth gal, and quirked one of his eyebrows. "Hey, are you about ready to show an emotion?" he asked. "Owen, your pun has physically affected someone! I hope you are ready to apologize."

Now the goth gal was hunched over, hands grasping the top of her head, her fountain of black and white hair shielding her face from view. Owen stared in confusion, then called out to his friend. "Um, Noah, I think you're making her mad!"

The know-it-all stared at the hunched over goth gal, and said, "Is that what this is? Well, might be worth it, just to see Crimson go crimson."

And that's when it happened…

…

…

…

…

…

"BUAHAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHAH! AHH HA HA HAHAAAAAA!"

Crimson went from hunched over to throwing her head back in the midst of her powerful laughter. She wrapped her arms around her stomach to support herself, as she continued. "Ahahahaa! HA HA HA! Heeeee… heeeee… go crimson, AHAHAHAAAAA!"

The goth gal was shaking with how hard she was laughing, the wide smile threatening to overtake the bottom half of her face, tears leaking from her eyes and staining her copious eyeshadow. When it seemed like she was slowing down, she murmured one of Noah's remarks from that day, and went right back to cackling.

Noah was rather speechless, staring at her with no idea what to do or say. Tom hid behind Jen, Emma and Jacques stared from the ground in shock and amazement, Owen was totally baffled, and Kitty was quick to take a picture of this rare sight.

Ennui was staring at his teammate with wide eyes and a dropped jaw. The flabbergasted stare was rather odd on his face, but everyone was too distracted by Crimson's sudden, near-hysterical mirth.

The goth gal continued until she broke down into wheezes and coughs. Hacking a little bit, she took several breaths to calm herself down. When she managed to look up, Noah was staring at her. He cocked an eyebrow, saying without words, "You finished?"

That was when she grabbed him by his sweater vest, holding him tightly as she leaned in. He could feel her breath on his face as words from a low voice said, "Oh… my… God… you are the funniest person I have ever met. Every cynical remark you make, that wicked sense of humor, it is like you are speaking to the twisted side of my soul with every passage!"

Now Noah was really confused on what to do. He opened his mouth to try to speak, but never got the chance. Crimson leaned forward suddenly, and her dark-painted lips met his.

A collection of widened eyes and dropped jaws ensued with everyone at the Chill Zone. Ennui's jaw fell so far down, it threatened to disconnect. The only noise was a click of a phone's camera, done by Kitty solely by instinct.

The kiss lasted a good six seconds. When she pulled back, Crimson had left a slight stain of dark lipstick on Noah's lips, and a wide-eyed look of surprise on the know-it-all's face. For a few seconds, all he could see was the goth gal smiling at him.

Then she let out one last chuckle over his humor, took a deep breath, and her normal, nonchalant visage was back. "Thank you," she said with her casual voice, and spun on her heel, her flow of white 'n black locks coming close to brushing Noah's chest.

She walked over to Ennui, who was still gawking with wide, yellow eyes and a gaping mouth. Glancing up at him, she blinked slowly. He reverted back to his normal mode too, but his frown was a little wider than normal, his thick eyebrows pressed down just a tad bit more.

Noah stood there in total, thunderstruck silence. It was Don who finally broke the silence, by saying, "Well now, just when I thought I saw it all! Also, Best Friends! Sixth place!"

"Yay," Carrie cheered, pumping her fist. Then she studied all the people standing or sitting in silence, all eyes on Noah or Crimson, who appeared to transfixed in shock. "Did something happen?"

Kitty managed to blurt it out before anyone else could say something. "Crimson snogged Noah!"

There are many ways one could react to such news. Carrie chose the girliest manner. "EEEEE~! And I missed that? That's so cute!"

(Ridonculous Confessional - FINALLY!)

(The Best Friends)

Devin - "She's a major dork when it comes to romance."

Carrie - *giggles* "I cannot help it. The idea of people coming together despite difference personalities, enjoying said differences, finding things in common… it's magical, you know?"

Devin - "She even thought of all these silly names for possible couples when we watched Total Drama."

Carrie - "Yeah, there was Dawneron, LeDunca, Bridgold, Ezzy, Gwyler, Jasammy, and… and…"

*She begins staring at Devin, and her eyes go starry as a smile spreads across her face. He notices this, and chuckles.*

Devin - "There she goes, daydreaming about possible couples. She gets like this at times, though I have no idea who she's thinking of pairing up in that head of hers."

Carrie - *beaming at Devin fondly until he finishes speaking* "Hmmm? Oh, um, yeah, random pairings! Ehehe… totally random."

(The Sisters)

Kitty - *showing her phone's screen to her sister* "I even managed to get the moment where he briefly closed his eyes! Heeheehee!"

Emma - *grumbling* "Why are you showing me that?"

Kitty - "'Cuz I can~!"

(Reality TV Pros)

*Owen is staring at Noah, who has his arms crossed and staring off to the side.*

Owen - *slyly* "So…"

Noah - "No."

Owen - "But I-"

Noah - "No."

Owen - "You just-"

Noah - "NO."

Owen - "Ijustwannaaskmybestfriendifitwasagoodfirstkiss!"

Noah - *turns towards Owen* "'First'?! What the heck makes you think it was my first?"

Owen - "Was it?"

Noah - "No, it wasn't!"

Owen - "But was it the best?"

Noah - *frowns even more* "Does the concept of 'not want to talk about it' enter into your head? Does the mere suggestion of wishing to not discuss something ever dawn on you?"

Owen - *cheerfully* "Nope!"

Noah - "…" *He goes back to glancing to the side.* "… It wasn't bad."

Owen - "Wasn't bad? That was several seconds of a cute girl sucking face with you, little buddy! It had to be better than 'wasn't bad'!"

Noah - "I am not giving you details!"

Owen - *wailing* "But I want them!"

(The Goths.)

Crimson - *She glances at him with a slightly questioning gaze as if to ask without words, "Want to ask me about it?"*

Ennui - *shakes his head*

Crimson - *shrugs her shoulders*

The rest of the challenge was about as eventful, but possibly the exact opposite emotionally. Dwayne Senior had accidentally taken the fossil that the Vegans had collected, and received the credit for it; most people had never seen a hippie angry before, certainly not on the level Laurie was.

"Why does she sound so familiar?" Geoff asked himself as he watched Laurie and Miles head towards the feast.

All the other teams eventually made it to the Chill Zone, resulting in a close finish between the Rockers, Vegans, and Mother & Daughter. When the Vegans came in last, and were informed that it was a non-elimination round, Laurie flipped again.

Most of the other teams, who were allowed a two-hour break before the next round, heard that Don had received a rather brutal beating from the very agitated, no-longer-truly vegan. When Noah had heard, he sighed heavily.

"When you hear about things like this, you have to ask yourself," he lamented, "why, why, why no one thought to do that to Chris Maclean on Total Drama?"

"You really still don't like him?" Owen asked him.

"Didn't the last time you saw him, he put a bomb on your face?"

"It was a small bomb, I got better."

"You're far too nice for your own good."

The two of them spent most of the time doing some warm-up exercises. Owen was still none too fit, but he had managed to get his large body strong enough to handle running place to place without collapsing every five minutes. After being friends and teammates for so many shows, Noah had managed to keep Owen at a reasonable level of stamina due to having him work out daily.

Also, they took the time to visit a nearby restaurant. As a propellent, Noah had promised Owen that if they ever had time, he'd order the big guy something special to the country they were in. The know-it-all was highly determined to win this contest, and was willing to take a small hit to his wallet to motivate his friend.

Even after eating roasted sheep eyeballs, Owen could have the stomach to treat himself to a different Icelandic meal. Noah barely had anything, and was glad that his friend was so immersed in his meal, he wasn't asking more questions about Crimson's sudden kiss.

Since they didn't mingle with the other teams during the break, Noah almost believed that the incident would go without mention.

All the teams arrived at the Chill Zone, stoked and ready to begin the next league of the race. Of course, Ennui and Crimson appeared as bored and unimpressed as ever, but Noah did catch her staring at him a couple times.

By the time they were called forth to the Chill Zone for their turn to start, Noah was getting rather annoyed by how many of the other teams were glancing at him, then whispering amongst themselves.

"You'd think they'd have something better to do than gossip," Noah grumbled to his friend.

"Maybe they all think you and I have some kind of alliance with the Goths?" Owen suggested.

"Oh goody, more gossip about my so-called love life. Least it's not about myself and another guy again. Let's just focus, see what the challenge is going to be in Brazil."

Noah was already braced for people to make cracks about what had happened, but he still was rather surprised when he saw Don smirk at him. "Alright, Reality TV Pros, it's your turn to get going. You might want to hurry, Noah, if you want to catch up with the Goths!"

The know-it-all pursed his lips, and retaliated by pointing at Don's black eye, "Nice shiner. I had no idea someone could lose a fight with a hippie."

Owen winced, expecting the host to lose it. Don, however, merely laughed and pointed at Noah. "Good one, got me there. Now go on, get out of here before my good nature leaves me."

Noah took this to heart, hurrying to the main road with Owen close behind. They flagged down a taxi, reached the airport, and made a beeline towards the runway. The military plane was marked for the participants of The Ridonculous Race, so it was rather easy to spot; what wasn't easy was getting Owen on the plane.

With flashbacks to the barely functioning plane that Chris had used to save money to spend on himself, Owen was as close to a nervous wreck as one could be without flipping out. Noah felt like a cat owner trying to get their feline into a pet carrier for the vet, shoving his friend into the plane.

"No no no," Owen was chanting. "Flying death trap! Not good! Not happy!"

"This one is fully intact and functioning, because Chris Maclean isn't behind this contest," Noah tried to assure him, pushing on his friend's back to inch him into the plane. "You have your bear, just take comfort in him."

"Don't wanna, don't wanna, don't wanna!"

Noah struggled every inch of the way, finally managing to shove his large friend into a corner of the seats. All of the other teams were watching him, probably concerned that Owen might start panicking aboard the plane.

"Now just sit there, take out your teddy bear, and keep quiet before you get us kicked off the flight," Noah ordered him. "I'm not in the mood to ride with cows."

Owen started chewing on Barry's ear, a squeaking noise echoing through the plane quite annoyingly. Noah was starting to strap himself in, when he heard a most unusual sound. It was like someone trying to swallow a toy horn.

He turned to see Barry's leg disappear down Owen's mouth, his friend's fear sending his usual desire to eat into a bizarre comfort zone. Before Noah could comment, Owen let out a rather loud burp, and splashed the know-it-all's face with saliva-soaked teddy fluff.

"Where's Barry?" Owen asked.

Noah had to hold in his contempt as he spat a large piece of spit-coated stuffing off his mouth. He could feel more of it dripping down his face as he replied as calmly as possible, "You just ate him."

His large friend screamed in panic, then glanced at his best buddy in desperation. "Will you hold me?"

"I'd rather," Noah started to say, then a pair of very large and fear-strengthened arms wrapped around his chest. The know-it-all unintentionally finished his sentence several octaves higher than he normally would elicit. "Not!"

Noah couldn't escape from his friend's grasp, and it was seriously starting to suffocate him. When the hanger door closed for the plane, Owen squeezed his friend even more tightly. "No no no, now we're trapped in here! I don't wanna fly, I don't wanna sing either! Tell my mom I loved her!"

"Would you get 'im to calm down?" Josee snapped at Noah, glaring at the two of them. "'E is seriously unnerving me!"

As much as Noah wanted to respond in a sarcastic manner, he was finding it very hard to even breathe with how much pressure was on his chest. When the engines of the plane roared to life as they started down the runway, Owen wailed again. "No, now we're getting ready to go! Tell my father I loved him too!"

"Noah," Jacques spoke up now, drumming his fingers on his crossed arms, "any possibility you know dee sleeper 'old?"

Before Noah could try to grunt out a response, the plane jolted with a start. A very loud bursting sound like a tire blowing out could be heard right under their seats. When the whole plane shook rather sharply, Owen screamed, "WE'RE GOING DOWN! TELL THE REST OF MY FAMILY I LOVED THEM TOO, EVEN MY COUSIN JOE!"

Pain shot through Noah's body as the terrified hug of his friend squeezed with fear-induced force. He swore he heard something crack, and was starting to lose consciousness. "This must be how prey of an anaconda feels," he thought miserably.

"Sorry folks," the captain spoke on the intercom, "it appears we ran over something on the runway, some rocky shards that someone carelessly left behind. It's gonna take us two hours to fix this baby."

"Two 'ours?!" Jacques and Josee exclaimed in perfect, outraged sync.

"Who left rock shards on dee runway?" Jacques declared. "It must 'ave been someone on dee other team, they sabotaged us!"

"I'm going to 'ave words with dee cap'i'tan!" Josee spoke as she stood up, and stormed towards the cabin. Jacques followed her, and of course, both smiled and posed as they walked away, for the sake of the camera.

Noah finally felt Owen let go of him, and he took deep breaths of sweet, fresh air. He leaned against the wall as he recovered, his chest still aching. Quite a few strong remarks went through his head on what to say to his flight-fearing friend, but when he turned to speak, he quickly realized Owen had fainted out of fright.

Groaning in frustration that fate hadn't even let him chew out Owen, Noah tried to relax for the bit of quiet he had. He tried not to rub his chest, it felt particularly sensitive.

About two minutes of semi-pained silence, Noah felt the presence of someone sitting next to his side where the Ice Dancers had been. He assumed it was them at first, but when he turned, he came face-to-face with an unnaturally pale expression.

Crimson was staring at him, her dark eyes focused on his with the occasional, slow blink. She crossed her legs, her fishnet leggings and skirt not suited for the rather limited space on the bench-like seat.

She examined him, as if scanning him with those dark pupils of hers. The lack of words was starting to become unnerving to Noah, but before he could question her, she spoke first.

"Are you okay?"

The inquiry puzzled Noah at first, until he realized he was still gently rubbing his sore chest. Breathing was a tad pained as well, and he wondered how much this was showing up on his face. "I'm fine," he replied, with a roll of his eyes.

Crimson's flat gaze, despite no emotion or change, disagreed with Noah's assertion. She reached forward, and placed her hand on his chest. This unusual feel-up continued as her gloved fingers traced his ribcage.

She gently poked one of his ribs, and Noah couldn't hide a pained hiss as a sharp pain shot through his body.

"You may have a cracked rib," Crimson said.

"What? No way, Owen's not that strong," the know-it-all remarked. He glanced over at his fainted friend, and added, "It's just a little sore, you can take your hand off me now-"

Another gentle poke to the rib made him wince in pain again. When he glared at her, her unreadable expression just made the whole situation all the more confusing to him.

"We need to get you some medical treatment," Crimson spoke, her monotone voice making it sound much more like an order than a suggestion.

"Yeah, that's not going to happen," Noah remarked. "But hey, if you're having fun making me suffer, you could always just stomp on my toes, poke me in the eyes, whatever."

Crimson merely blinked at this, and grabbed his arm. Hoisting him up on his feet, she started dragging him towards the hanger, which had opened when the plane had come to a stop. "Argh! Does no one take NO for an answer?" Noah cried out. "Do I also need a permission slip to use the restroom during class, teacher? I didn't know… argh…"

Noah's chain of sass was cut short when he realized just how badly his chest was hurting. He wrapped his free arm around himself, mentally and quite grudgingly realizing Crimson was right. Owen had done some damage in his bear hug of hysteria.

The other teams all stared at the sight of Crimson leading an obviously pained Noah out of the plane. When they passed by Ennui, the goth guy was glaring right at Noah. Or at least, the know-it-all thought it was glaring, it was hard to tell.

Shortly after leaving the plane, Noah caught sight of Emma returning to the plane, none too happy. When the older sister noticed the unusual sight before her, she merely raised an eyebrow. "Okay, what happened?" she asked in a tone that implied she didn't really care all that much.

"He has a cracked rib," Crimson stated nonchalantly. "Taking him to the medical station, since he refuses to admit he's hurt."

"How did you crack a rib?" Emma stared at Noah, adding without words, "How clumsy are you?" Before either goth or cynic could respond, her eyes widened. "Wait, did Owen do that with that bear hug he was giving you? Your partner cracked your rib when he was screaming like a dying man?"

"Ding ding ding," Noah exclaimed, waving his free hand in the air. "The woman gets a prize!"

Crimson covered her mouth with her free hand, stifling some kind of noise that was rather strained. Noah glanced at her, and thought back to what happened at the Chill Zone earlier. "Wait, is she… trying not to laugh? Is that what she's been doing every time she grunts like that?"

"Well, if we're grilling everyone out here for explanations," the know-it-all spoke, turning back to Emma, "what are you doing out here?"

"I was trying to see if my sister and I could switch planes. Some of us actually joined this competition to win," Emma responded, crossing her arms.

"Wow, she sure is snarky," Noah thought. "Just like someone I know…"

"However, as Don informed me just now, we're not allowed to leave the plane we boarded, because apparently," the older sister frowned angrily as she continued, "one of the teams aboard our plane is the reason for the flat tire and delay. We're stuck here while the other teams on the other plane get to go first."

She flicked her hair behind her shoulder as she scoffed in annoyance. It was quite the unintentionally attractive motion, and for a brief moment, Noah didn't know what to say or do. Emma was so much more graceful than he had originally noticed…

"So, we're stuck here until they fix the tire," Emma said. "It might be best to discuss strategy during this time with my teammate."

As if on queue, the click of a phone's camera and a flash could be heard inside the plane. Kitty was posing with Geoff, Brody, Jen, and Tom, all of them gleefully grinning for the picture.

"Maybe not," the older sister said, turning away from the plane as Jen requested Kitty to take one of her best side. "I guess I should just go with you, make sure she doesn't sacrifice you to the Elder Gods or something."

"I'm not a Cthulhuist," Crimson stated.

"Goths come in sects now? Interesting," Emma responded, now walking alongside Noah and Crimson as the latter helped the former along. "And by the way, the medical station is this way. Just follow me. Some of us take careful note of where we're going, even if it's temporarily."

"Such a blunt know-it-all," Noah thought to himself as he glanced at Emma some more. "Wow, how have I not noticed her until now?"

"And anyway," the older sister carried on, "don't you have a boyfriend, Crimson? How's he feel about you being all over Noah?"

"Ennui's not my boyfriend," Crimson said. "He's my soulless mate."

There was a brief silence with the other two, and Noah spoke first. "I'm going to guess that a soulless mate is just your gothic manner of saying 'soulmate,' right?"

"It's different. Soulless mates realize the darkness in themselves and the world around them, and strive to work together both with and against it."

Emma rolled her eyes, while Noah desisted such an action. True, what Crimson was saying sounded awfully bizarre, but there were three reasons he hadn't accounted for that seized his sarcastic satire.

The first was that Crimson's voice, with that low and almost sensual purr to it, made anything she said sound poetic. She did sound bored for most of what she said, but she spoke emphatically at the same time. Noah never knew anyone who could do that.

The second reason was that she was still supporting him as his chest burned with dull pain. He really didn't want to upset the person helping him balance that out.

The third… he couldn't place his finger on. He had no idea why, he just didn't feel like digging his verbal claws into her like he would most anyone else.

"Well, who am I to judge?" Noah said with a dry chuckle. "My lifestyle right now is reality TV, which comes as close to realistic as a Saturday morning cartoon."

Emma scoffed, crossing her arms. "Yeah, and I'm sure if she and her soulless mate win the million dollars, they'll start donating to graveyards everywhere."

"That could work out," he remarked. "Dead people spend their money relatively better than most living people."

There was a familiar grunting noise, followed by a high-pitched squeak from a failed restraint of laughter. Crimson turned her face away, hand over her mouth, desperately hiding the fact that color had spread across her alabaster face.

(Ridonculous Confessional - Where have you BEEN?!)

(On the plane carrying the formally first-place contestants.)

Kitty - *adjusting her phone* "I wonder what's taking my sister so long?"

Tom - "Her loss, she could have looked fabulous on the blog! Thanks again for the assistance, Kitty! I am loving what you've done so far, you could totally be a photographer!"

Jen - "Oh, totally! You could do so much work for fashion with better equipment than a phone! How many pictures do you take a day with that, anyway?"

Kitty - "I dunno, I don't think I can count that high on a daily basis."

Tom - "Wowsers. And how many do you put up?"

Kitty - "Normally, like, two. But since I started this show, I have uploaded SO many more on my photo booth! So many likes and favorites too! Especially that one I got of Crimson and Noah snogging!"

Jen - "Oh, you're being so wonderful sly, I love it! It's bold!"

Kitty - "Haha, thanks! But I think I made some people really mad, I keep getting angry comments from this group called NoCo. I, like, have no idea what that means."

Jen - "NoCo? Sounds like a type of clothing brand I wouldn't try wearing."

Tom - "I don't know about that, it sounds relatively okay to me."

Devin - "Go on, say it."

Carrie - *blushing and glancing to the side* "I have no idea what you're talking about…"

Devin - "You watched Crimson help Noah out of the plane, and I can see that look in your eyes. I wanna hear what you're gonna call them."

Carrie - "It's a little different when you're in the contest, Devin! I mean, these people could become our friends or enemies at any point in time."

Devin - "Yeah, that does kind of suck. Well, the latter part. But at least some of the contestants make it easy for us to not feel bad if they get eliminated."

Carrie - "The Ice Dancers?"

Devin - "The Ice Dancers."

Owen - "Zzzzzzzz… nnrgghfffl… zzzzzz…"

It didn't take long for Noah to receive a quick medical treatment at the airport medical station. A gauze wrap around his chest, a couple painkillers, and oddly enough, a mixture of red and green herbs were all that he was given, but it all worked relatively well.

Upon leaving the medical station, Noah spotted the gift store close by. He quickly darted in, and scanned the shelves of plushies.

"What are you doing?" Emma asked, slightly impatient over the whole ordeal.

"Looking for something for Owen. I'm not about to have another repeat of what just happened."

Crimson stared at the rows of adorable stuffed animals. She was about to scoff in disgust when she noticed a bat plushie. Part of her wanted to buy that, but she'd have no place to keep it. "Are you getting him another bear?" she asked, keeping herself neutral.

"No, he'd just eat that too," Noah remarked. "I need to find something not exactly delicious looking to him."

"Bears look delicious to Owen?" Emma said incredulously.

"Apparently, since most of Barry is now in Owen's belly. What animal doesn't look delicious to you two?"

"Bats," Crimson said without hesitation.

"Hmm, good idea," the know-it-all replied, picking up the bat plushie. "On the safe side, better get him a couple others; I'd hate to find out what else he'll add to his unwritten list of omnivore treats."

After purchasing the bat, as well as a bumblebee and a bazooka plushie (which Noah had no idea why anyone would want, but it felt like a relatively safe choice for something that didn't look tasty), the three headed back to the plane.

Everyone else was seated again, talking between partners, discussing either strategy or their normal repertoire. The three only received a casual glance from most, but Crimson signaled to Ennui that she'd be right back; he frowned and glanced to the side, crossing his arms.

As Noah sat back down next to Owen, his large friend awoke with a start. "Oh! Did we take off?"

"No, still on the ground, big guy. But here," Noah lifted the bag with the plushie animals and firearm, "comfort to replace Barry."

When the know-it-all lifted his arm, he noticeably winced. Owen saw down Noah's sleeve the gauze wrap around his chest, and exclaimed, "Oh my gosh, did something happen to you, Noah?"

"Oh, the chest wrap? Yeah, the darndest thing happened," Noah chuckled, confusing both of the young ladies watching. "When I was walking to the gift shop to get you these, I tripped and fell, hit the ground just hard enough to crack a rib."

"OH NO! Are you going to be okay?"

"They said I had three months to live at the emergency room, so I guess," Noah dropped the sarcasm when his friend's eyes started widening in fear, quickly saying, "yes, I'll be fine, Owen. Just no hugs, alright?"

Owen nodded, staring at his best friend sympathetically. He then moved forward to take the plushie creatures, and also to pat Noah on the head. Frowning at this rather embarrassing treatment, the know-it-all muttered for Owen to stop. It was then that he realized Emma and Crimson were still watching him.

"Um," Emma said aloud when Noah glanced over at them, "I'm gonna go now. Gotta make sure Kitty doesn't kill the batteries in her phone, or I'll never hear the end of it."

Emma walked off, but Crimson continued to stare at Noah. She tilted her head to the side, a hint of confusion in her eyes as she studied the know-it-all.

"What, do I have to give you a tip or something?" he asked, quirking an eyebrow at her. When no reply was given, he let out a sigh. "Alright fine. Thank you for making me get help over my rib. It'll come in handy if I'm asked to create Eve later."

Crimson's shoulders shook, then she covered her mouth and turned away; however, this time, it was too much. She was giggling, quite loudly in fact, shaking as she tried to control it.

"Were you just waiting around for me to say something sarcastic?" Noah asked, unsure exactly how to handle this except in his normal manner. "I suppose you should get a small music box to crank, I could perform for you with quicker reception."

The goth gal almost doubled over, waving her other hand at Noah in a desperate plea to get him to stop. When she managed to pull herself back together, she couldn't hide the smile on her face as she gazed at him.

In that moment, Noah didn't see the eyes of a creepy goth with red and black eyeshadow. He saw a young lady looking at him, and though he wasn't sure exactly what kind of emotion it was, it was most certainly positive.

Noah felt himself smile right back at her, and her eyes lit up for a brief second. Then she realized Owen was watching them, and she immediately reverted back to her normal self. With her bored visage restored, she walked back to her partner.

"What was that all about?" Owen asked Noah, desperate for answers. "Part of me thought she was going to kiss you again!"

"Oh please, I'm pretty sure right now, I'm some kind of taboo for her," Noah remarked, leaning back against the wall of the plane. "She's probably not supposed to smile and laugh, and yet, she does it over me."

"She likes you," his friend reasoned, giving Noah a sly grin. "Oh, Noah, you got her all into you!"

"What did I just say? I'm not something she wants, I'm like a kind of forbidden fruit. Plus, maybe she's just around that pillar of silent alabaster for so long, any smart-aleck remark makes her laugh."

Owen raised one his eyebrows, and stroked his large chin. "So you could say that you are just…"

"No."

"Come on, please?"

The two young men stared at each other for a short while, before Noah groaned loudly and muttered, "Okay, do it. Just remember, I'm in pain here already."

"That's okay, I won't be," Owen mimed putting on sunglasses, "ribbing you."

"Oh, go eat your plushie toys."

(Ridonculous Confessional - How many years, man?)

(The Sisters)

Kitty - "You seem a little off. Something wrong?"

Emma - "It's nothing! Well, it's just… someone did something that kind of surprised me today."

Kitty - "The day has been kind of full of that, you're going to have to be more specific."

Emma - *sighs in frustration* "Okay, here's the thing. Owen cracked one of Noah's ribs when he was squeezing him in panic, but when Owen asked him what happened, Noah lied and said he hurt himself."

Kitty - "Awww, that's so sweet of him~! He doesn't want to make his friend feel bad."

Emma - "But that's what is so weird! You've seen Noah, he doesn't seem like someone to do something like that… something that nice…"

Kitty - *raises an eyebrow and smirks at her sister*

Emma - "And don't you go interpreting what you will from that. Head in the game, not in la-la land, Kitty!"

Kitty - *still smirking oh-so-slyly* "Right-o, Captain."

(The Best Friends)

Devin - "Ever feel like we're participating in a soap opera rather than a reality TV show?"

Carrie - "Part of me feels more like I'm in a contest. I mean, why is it called reality TV when we're competing? Are they saying that all contest shows before reality TV were fake?"

Devin - "Personally, I would have preferred more improv shows. Far more spontaneous and a lot less tedious to watch."

Carrie - "Aww, I think you'd be great at them."

Devin - "Thanks, homie, but we're digressing. I was talking more about all that happened on the plane today."

Carrie - *She glances side to side, obviously hiding something.* "Oh? I didn't notice. I had, um, something… else on my mind!"

Devin - *confused* "What? I thought you'd be stoked with all that was happening."

Carrie - "Stoked? Why would I be stoked?"

Devin - "Wow, what was on your mind?"

(Reality TV Pros)

Owen - "So both Emma and Crimson were with you when you tripped and fell, cracking your rib? Man, that had to have been embarrassing."

Noah - "You and I have been doing reality shows for three years, that barely makes it on the shame scale."

Owen - "So… which one you going to ask out?"

Noah - *He glares at Owen, not going to dignify that with an answer.*

Owen - "Oh, I'm sorry, are they both taken? That's always how it is, the good ones are always taken."

Noah - "And yet you and I are single."

Owen - "Aww, that's nice of you to say, buddy!"

*Owen moves to hug Noah, but the know-it-all holds up his hands.*

Noah - "Chest! Rib! No hug!"

Owen - *winces in realization, then smiles and moves his arms around an invisible person* "Air hug!"

(The Goths)

Crimson - *She blinks, then glances up at him until he finally looks at her. She lowers her head slightly, but stares up at him with questioning eyes.*

Ennui - *He shakes his head and turns away.*

Crimson - *She sighs and turns from him too.*

When the plane finally took off, Owen very nearly squeezed the stuffing out of his new plushie pals. Luckily, none of them were consumed in fear.

The ride from Iceland to Brazil was quite the long one, and without the usual form of entertainment one receives on a commercial airline, the passengers grew quite restless. Sleep wasn't easy either, so it was making all of them cranky.

So when they landed in Brazil, most of them were quite eager to sprint out. The Ice Dancers, of course, bounded forward, arms spread, smiling widely for the cameras. Back in the plane, Owen wasn't about ready to let Noah go running out.

"No, you have a serious injury," the large guy declared. "You cannot just go running!"

"Listen, Owen, I am fine! Sure, maybe I cannot run, but you aren't going to take the rest of my pride away by carrying me!"

Owen scanned the inside of the plane, trying to find something in the military flight behemoth. As it was normally used for carrying a great deal of supplies, there was a hand truck tucked in the corner. The big guy smirked, a plan coming to his mind…

…

…

…

"GANGWAY, PEOPLE!" Noah screamed as he held onto the hand truck for dear life, his feet digging into the small platform. "MY REST OF MY PRIDE IS BEING PROPELLED FORWARD AGAINST MY WILL!"

"YEEHAW," Owen declared as he sprinted down the path, pushing the hand truck at an alarming speed. "We are an hour behind the other plane, let's catch up!"

The other teams on the plane all had to jump to the side to avoid being hit by Noah and Owen's unusual transportation. The only ones who didn't react fast enough were the Ice Dancers, who were so focused on posing for the camera that they didn't notice until it was too late.

"Vot is dat noise?" Jacques asked aloud, before turning his head back. "Ack! Mon DIEU!"

He and Josee were bounced into the air upon impact, Owen speeding forward and leaving them to crash on the ground. Noah winced at first, then grinned and said, "And the judges give him a 9.2 for that one!"

"Haha, this should totally be a real sport," Owen exclaimed. "I could see it becoming a SNAKE!"

A rather large snake was slithering across the road. When it saw the very unusual and confusing sight (especially for a snake) of a human pushing another human on a hand truck, it froze in panic. Thus, Owen spun around and sprinted backwards as fast as he could.

"It could have rabies!" Owen wailed, his very loud screaming making the poor, rabies-less snake even more scared.

"Owen, slow down," Noah hollered. "You're going the wrong way-"

He was interrupted when his friend accidentally ran over Josee with the hand truck, knocking her flat on her face again. Then the wheels hit Jacques' head ("Ugggh… vot vas dat? *CONG!* Dere it is again!"), and Noah was sent flying through the air.

The know-it-all didn't see much, except for a black 'n white form being in the way of his flying arc. When he crashed into it, it was a lot softer and warmer landing than he had anticipated.

Before he could fully collect his bearings, especially what soft surface his face had buried into, he heard a rather calm and monotone voice say, "Hello, Noah." It was then that he realized what, or rather who, he had crashed into.

Crimson was laying on her back, spread eagled from the impact. Noah had his face wedged right in the middle of her bosom. He scrambled to get up, as the goth gal barely moved except to merely blink at the rather intimate moment that had just transpired.

When Noah got to his feet, he realized his face was rather warm. For a brief moment, he couldn't tell if that was because he was blushing, or where his face had just been. However, despite all his embarrassment and shock of what just happened, he noticed something rather prominent.

Crimson still lay on the ground, staring up at the sky. Her usual bored look made it hard for him to tell if she was uninterested in getting up, or was hiding her own embarrassment rather well. Either way, Noah couldn't just leave her like that.

He extended his hand down to her, and mumbled, just loud enough for her to hear, "I'm sorry. Wasn't my fault, but… sorry. Here, let me help you up."

The goth gal stared up at him for a few seconds then reached up and took his offer of assistance. When she was on her feet again, she brushed herself off slowly and meticulously. Though when she turned to Noah to say something, the know-it-all was swept off his feet, hoisted onto Owen's shoulder, and carried off.

"We need to hurry," his large friend declared. "I think I really made the Ice Dancers mad when I ran over them! Twice!"

"Then watch for them again!"

Noah's words fell upon deaf, panic-induced ears, as Owen didn't even notice Josee rising up from the ground, growling in fury. Owen's stomach bopped her to the side, and then his foot pushed down on Jacques' head by accident ("Ohhh… did anyone get license number?" STOMP! "Ack! Surely dat time!") as he continued his retreat.

Ennui approached Crimson as she finished dusting herself off. "You okay?" he asked.

"I'm fine," she replied.

"You sure?"

"I'll live."

"Okay then."

"Don't sulk."

"I'm just concerned."

"Don't worry."

"Fine."

"I said don't sulk."

Carrie was assisting Jacques to his feet, the dazed and trampled Ice Dancer accepting the help willingly. Josee then walked by, yanked Jacques' hand out of Carrie's grasp, and dragged him on his feet.

"No one knocks me down ever again," Josee growled. She noticed the hand truck, and kicked it with a scream. It fell in the bushes a totaled mess. "Come, Jacques! We will mangle those so-called pros!"

"Once my head stops de spinning, I shall smile our way to victory," Jacques assured her. "And de birds, when dey stop chirping!"

Carrie watched them go, then turned towards Devin. "You'd think she'd be a little more worried if he was okay after being knocked around three times."

Devin chuckled, and rubbed her shoulder. "You have such a big heart, you keep assuming other people do too."

"We'd best hurry, make sure she doesn't kill Noah!"

"If she does, at least he may die a happy man!"

She elbowed her best friend, and they hurried to catch up with everyone else. The race was back on, but quite a few people had something else on their mind.

(Ridonculous Confessional - We love you, man! Never leave again!)

(The Sisters)

Kitty - "Why are you acting like Noah did that on purpose?"

Emma - "Who said I blamed him?"

Kitty - "Whenever you look at him, you scowl. And when I ask about him, you-"

Emma - "Can we change the subject?"

Kitty - *frowning* "Do that."

Emma - "Listen, Kitty. I don't know what you're trying to do, but we're here to win a contest. That's all I'm focused on, and that's all you should be focused on. Not boys, not selfies, just the contest."

Kitty - "… Wow. You really need a new boyfriend."

Emma - *She cries out angrily and storms off, leaving Kitty alone at the confessional.*

Kitty - *to the camera* "You know, she hasn't even told me why she and Jake broke up to begin with, and years later it's still upsetting her. This might be tougher than I thought."

(The Reality TV Pros)

Owen - *staring at Noah with great anticipation* "So, we survived."

Noah - *crossing his arms and looking away, frowning* "…"

Owen - "It was a close one, that was for sure."

Noah - "…"

Owen - "And also, you-"

Noah - "If you bring up anything about what happened after you treated me like live ammunition to a trebuchet, I will make you eat Bumbles, Bazookie, and Batty."

Owen - "Why?"

Noah - "Why? WHY? Because it's embarrassing, and disrespectful! And not just for me, but for her!"

Owen - "Oh, so you do have some respect for Crimson! You do like her!"

*Noah glares at him for a moment, then reaches down to pick up a bag. He pulls out the bumblebee plushie, and eyes Owen.*

Owen - "… Can I have Batty first? He looks tastier."

The first challenge for Brazil was for the person who didn't swim with sharks, a Botch or Watch that wasn't as lethal but rather painful. No one was eager to stick their hand in an oven mitt full of angry bullet ants.

Kitty was chewing her lip in anxiety, watching Jacques stick his hand in that mitt. He was screaming in pain within a few moments, blubbering something about, "Not even de 'ead injury is dulling de pain! Oh, de stinging!"

The younger sister turned towards Emma, and whimpered, "Are you sure I have to do this? It really is my turn?"

Emma stared her down. "Yeah, because I would totally forget having to swim towards sharks a day ago."

"Snarky as ever," Kitty muttered. She crossed her arms, and said under her breath, "And you wonder why I like the idea of you and Noah together."

"I heard that!"

As Kitty and Emma broke out in an argument, Owen was watching Noah with anticipation. "You going to be okay, little buddy?"

"Sure, nothing I haven't handled before. Just a glove full of poisonous bugs that cause untreatable agony for an entire day."

"Really? I must have missed the show you were on when you had to do that. Did it hurt?"

Noah stared him down, then sighed. "Owen, could you turn on the auto-correct in your brain?"

There was a muffled grunt, a sound becoming quite familiar to Noah. He turned towards the source, and sure enough, Crimson was covering her mouth and was squinting in her efforts to stop herself. When she noticed the know-it-all was looking at her, she spun away, her black 'n white fountain of hair whipping with her.

Noah turned back to Owen, and muttered, "I don't get her. We don't hear her speak for days, and when she does, she's laughing at me."

Owen blinked at this comment. "I think she's laughing with you, buddy."

His friend shook his head. "No, that kind of stuff doesn't happen. Let's just focus now, Owen, I have to get bit from the mitt."

(Individual Confessional - When there's no outhouse, closet, trailer, or bathroom to blurt out your thoughts.)

(Noah is standing a short distance from the line of contestants, as everyone waits for the next team to retrieve their ticket from the mitt.)

Noah - "It's not that I don't think I can attract a girl, it's just that this doesn't happen for a guy like me. I have been on shows for three years, and even when not on one, I never had a girl truly interested in me.

"Do I think Crimson is making fun of me? It's hard to say at this point. I mean, I've seen all types of people using all kinds of tactics, but this… this is new to me. And even if it's not a ploy, what do I have in common with her?

"I have far much more in common with Emma. I hear she's into law school, she's quick-witted, serious, and my gosh I love how she looks when she gets all stern…"

*He gets a little starry-eyed, glancing back at the line. Emma is watching Kitty screaming her head off as she retrieves a ticket from the mitt.* "Then again, I don't know her either. I don't like admitting this, but I'm not sure what to do about… any of this. That's why I am going to be focused on the race."

Emma - *She is standing away from the challenge area. Behind her is Kitty, furiously blowing on her swollen hand and waving it around to remove the pain.* "I don't get why she's trying to hook me up. I don't need a boyfriend, I don't need a man in my life, I need focus!

"So what if Noah is cute and intelligent? There's plenty of guys out there like that, and I don't need to rush out and find one. If Kitty's so interested in guys, she can date him, not me!"

*She crosses her arms and turns to the side.* "After the race, that is. She's always been so scatter-brained and lazy, even though she's a lot smarter than she lets on. I have to be the older sister with her, or she'll just take selfies and nag me about my love life!"

Carrie - *nursing her swollen hand* "Nnngh, this really does hurt! But I am trying to keep my mind off it, by focusing on something else.

"I mean, I know I totally sound like a girly girl, but isn't it interesting what's going on right now? Crimson obviously has a thing for Noah, and Emma keeps watching or getting involved! I almost wish there wasn't a race going on, because this is fascinating enough!"

*She pauses when Kitty runs behind her, screeching as she waves her swollen hand around. Emma chases after her, shouting that she's heading the wrong way.*

"It… almost makes me forget what I'm going to say to Devin. If I ever do. And… I'm once again saying things that those back home are going to see… including Shelly!"

*She face-palms with her swollen hand, and her eyes widen in pain.* "Ohhhkaaaaay, OW. Focus, Carrie, or you're going to end up doing more damage to yourself than the contest ever could!"

Devin - *is checking something on his phone* "Okay, I'm trying to see if there are any remedies to bullet ant venom, but the service out here in the jungle is kind of terrible! Still, gotta try, you know? Homie's in pain, and I really don't like seeing her like that.

"I remember this one time when she was six, she fell into a rosebush. She was crying and horrified that the scratches were going to scar her for life, 'cuz she didn't know any better back then. But wow, I think that seeing her crying and in pain, I was more freaked out than her deep down.

"Luckily, she turned out just fine, wouldn't you say?" *He chuckles, then waves his cell phone around in the air.* "Seriously, how long does it take for a Wikipedia page to load? It's mostly text!"

Owen - "I'm worried about Noah. Normally, he's a lot more calm and steady than he is right now. Maybe he's distracted by that cracked rib he got."

*In the background, Noah's strained cries of pain echo as he pulls a tip from the mitt full of ants. He is obviously trying very hard not to swear aloud, and his face contorts quite a bit.*

"Or maybe it's just that he doesn't know what to do when it comes to that cute goth gal or that pretty asian girl. Then again, he's always told me that these things aren't serious. Most relationships that start from a reality TV show end in failure, he says. I guess it's just nothing very serious, so I shouldn't get wrapped up in it too?"

*He holds up Batty and Bumbles, and starts talking for them.*

Batty - *very Batman-like voice* "NO, Owen, you have to help Noah find true love! Grrr, I'm Batty!"

Bumbles - *humming voice* "Beeeeeeelieveeeeeee in your abiliteeeeee to help your little buddeeeeeee!"

Owen - "You guys are right! I'm so glad Noah bought you for me!"

Ennui - *He is watching Noah shake off the rest of his initial pain, and walking away from the challenge area. The know-it-all calls out to Owen to stop playing with those plush toys and get a move on. The goth guy frowns and crosses his arms as he surveys Noah the whole time.*

"… Hmmmmph."

Crimson - *She watches Noah and Owen, specifically the former, leave. Then she turns back to the camera.* "I've never felt like this over anyone before. It's very odd… I don't know how to describe it."

*She dramatically crosses her hands over her heart and closes her eyes.* "It's not in my nature to swoon, but every time he makes one of those cynical remarks, those comments full of quick-witted dark and twisted humor… I cannot keep in my… my… mirth."

*After spitting out the last word, she sighs heavily.* "I have no idea where this curiosity is going to take me. Normally, something that is going to make me… laugh… and smile… this isn't something I am into. But to find out why I feel this way…

"It's worth it. He's worth it."

Don - "Well, how about this interesting turn of events? Haha, seriously, I totally did not see any of this coming! That's what makes it great!

"But for now, we got to take a bit of a break! See what happens with the cynic, the monochrome monotone, the shorter yet older sister, and everyone else who hasn't been eliminated yet! Something is bound to happen on… The Ridonculous Race!"

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Batty - "We feel very strongly for the one named Emma, yes! Even if we are blind, she is very attractive! Grrr!"

Bumbles - "We like the goth girl! She hasssss that kind of unussssssual beauty you don't ssssssssee jusssssst anywhere!"

Batty - "Don't disagree with me, my diet consists of insects! Also, I'm Batty!"

Bumbles - "I'm about the ssssssame ssssizzzzze assssss you! And ssssssssso'ssss your mom!"

Batty - "My parents are dead, grrrr!"

Bazookie - "DO I HAVE TO SPLIT YOU TWO UP? ARGUE POLITELY, THIS IS NOT THE INTERNET! ANGER MAKES ME WANNA BLOW THINGS UP!"

Noah - *grabs Owen's arm and yanks him away from the camera crew* "I didn't get you those to do puppet theater!"