Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, just my own perverted imagination... No Copy Right Infringement Intended.

A/N Hello Folks, welcome to my new story! You'll see I have a few unfinished stories on my page, which I apologize for. This story is currently already about 13 or so chapters long. I plan on posting weekly!

So WELCOME to this story and I hope I do not disappoint!

I wanna say THANK YOU to my wonderful Beta and Best Friend. BelleoftheWhitts! Any advice I do not take is sorely upon me.

Prologue

In order to understand the present. You first have to understand my past. The things in my life that shaped me and turned me into the woman I am today. Into the woman who would do anything to protect herself and her own. The woman who had been broken beyond measure. Who had to pull herself together... for the sake of others...

When I first met Edward Cullen, I loved him instantly. He was the most beautiful person I had ever met. His messy bronze hair, his crooked smile, and his ever changing eyes. Even after finding out he was a vampire, I loved him. Our romance was very old fashioned. Edward was born in a different time. A time you would need to properly court a young woman, where often times the lady in question would need an escort. So as much as I would have loved a 'hot and heavy' relationship, I was stuck with chaste and careful kisses. Though I had often wondered if he hadn't seen me as a breakable glass doll, if maybe things would have been different. Had I been able to break him of his Victorian morals and opened him up to his darker more carnal desires. The only thing we lacked, was passion.

When Edward and I were close enough we could almost touch, it felt like an electric current ran through me to him. A physical connection linking him to me, had to mean something. I was 17 and I was head over heels in love. My first love. Like any teenage girl, I couldn't picture my life without him in it and I honestly didn't want to. It got so bad that even though he could not sleep, I allowed him to watch me while I slept... I thought it brought us closer, when really it was just creepy.

I was ready to give up my humanity, my family, my future, JUST for the prospect of being with him forever. Being with his family, forever. Blood, which had always made me squeamish, would be my diet. I would do it all and more for the chance to have my love at my side.

The idea of never aging, of being with my very own Adonis for all of eternity had been very appealing at the time. The Perks of being a Vampire were endless, made better by Edward. My mother had always called me her middle aged child. So it kind of gave me a complex. I had taken care of Renee for as long as I could remember. I was sensible and reliable... I was so sure in myself and my decisions that I actually believed that I would be better off a vampire than a human. Willing to blindly follow the Cullen's, never thinking outside of the Edward/Bella bubble I had created.

Hell I would have even put up with Rosalie Hale the ice queen extraordinaire for an eternity if it meant always having Edward forever.

I was selfish and I didn't care who would be hurt in the process, I was so consumed with Edward, I lost myself.

…

But it wasn't meant to be. I wasn't his mate. I was a distraction from his very mundane existence... But I digress.

Alice decided to throw me a party for my 18th birthday, one I hadn't even really wanted to begin with. She used her powers of persuasion to assure me it would go fine, that it would be perfect. Everything was going great until an ill-fated paper cut, and I nearly became the dessert. Jasper had struggled to get to me, his eyes wild with blood-lust and for the first time I had been scared. To protect me Edward threw me backwards, but being the eternal klutz it only made things worse, and boy can I clear an entire room. It was a disaster, a fiasco, a blunder, a catastrophe. With Alice's gift of the second sight I never once thought I was in danger. I assumed, like everyone, that she was infallible, that I was safe.

I knew something was wrong when Edward drove me home. He was distant and indifferent. Even his usual chaste kiss goodnight was wrong. It felt off and wreaked havoc on my nerves. His cold calm mask was in place for days making my puny human brain work overtime.

For days 'What-if's' plagued my mind and I wondered how on earth I was going to break through to him. To convince him it wasn't his fault, that it didn't matter...

When I saw him that fateful day I had been filled with relief, that is until I closely examined him. Once again I blindly followed him as he took me into the woods, where he shattered me into a million pieces. I had always known I was too plain and not good enough for Edward. Hearing him tell me my worst fears were true, destroyed part of me.

"I don't want you to come with us Bella." His voice was soft and his words made no sense, "I don't want to carry on with this charade. We are all leaving; in fact I sent the family on without me..."

"They're gone?" I asked dumbfounded.

"What did you expect, them to come and say goodbye? No, a clean break is best for everyone. You'll heal and in time you'll move on as humans do. I'm only sorry I let this go on so long."

I couldn't form a coherent thought, let alone find words to argue.

"I mean honestly Bella, how could I be with you?"

I heard what his words implied. The feeling of worthlessness flooded me.

"You'll never hear from us again, it'll be as if we never existed, and I'll never have to look at your ugly face again."

Before the shock could even sink in he was gone. I was left standing alone, stumbling in the woods. Utterly and completely broken.

I don't like to talk about my zombie era. I had shut down and shut everyone out. Trapped in my own personal Apocalypse, that had no stand in the real world, life continued on. So I forced myself back to the land of the living...

Then there was Jacob Black. At first he was a distraction for me. I used him in the worst possible way because being with him... he was the glue that held me together. Slowly piece by torturous piece, Jacob Black put me back together again. Being with him was easy. I smiled again. I laughed. I felt like myself.

Days turned to weeks and weeks turned to months and we were inseparable. It took me forever to realize I was falling in love with my best friend. That slowly but surely he was mending me and making me whole. I didn't hurt as much, the sting of first love would always be there, but with Jacob at my side anything seemed possible.

I invited him one night to the movies with me. It was supposed to be a group thing, but one by one everyone slowly began to back out. Until it was just three. Jacob, myself, and Mike Newton. Then mercifully at the last minute the latter called to cancel, he'd come down with the flu.

So Jacob and I went to the movies alone. We had been hanging out as friends for months. Rebuilding old motorcycles and spending each day together. I was nowhere near mentally prepared for dating again, however something had shifted between the two of us. His warmth reminded me of the sun, my own personal sun. I could see that he wanted more, he had for months.

His words, "What he did to you, Bella I would never ever hurt you like that."

The sincerity burning in his chocolate eyes turned me to mush. He leaned forward slowly, his eyes flickering to my lips, he leaned even closer and paused, I met him halfway. Deciding to give myself over to him. Who better to give my heart to than my very best friend?

Our first kiss turned heated and curled my toes. I'd never been kissed like that before. It was passionate, IT was life. And before I could stop it, I gave my virginity to my best friend.

Losing your virginity in the backseat of a car was totally cliché. But it was perfect. He was perfect. He was attentive and loving. He was slow and soft and so incredibly warm. But by the end of the night when he dropped me off he was beginning to feel feverish. Apologizing over and over, not wanting to get me sick. No matter how I tried to tell him that ship had sailed due to our intimacy. But I understood.

The next day I over analyzed everything. I was soaring on a cosmic high. I was feeling things I never thought would be possible to feel again. I spent that first day not leaving my room, surely Charlie would take one look at me and he would know. I replayed his loving touches. His feather soft kisses. The warm musky scent that screamed Jacob, pine needles, earth, and mint.

Days went by with no word from Jacob. I found out from Charlie that he had caught a case of Mono and was contagious. I felt helpless. I wanted to cook for him and comfort him, but with my track record for ending up in the emergency room, well lets just say Charlie wouldn't risk it. That didn't mean I didn't worry, pacing the halls. I actually started to feel bad for Billy, as I hounded him daily for updates.

Days turned to weeks until over a month had gone by.

I tried not to dwell on it. Even going out of my way to find the Meadow just to prove it existed. What had started out as a way to bring me closer to Edward's memory, actually became my final goodbye. Laurent was there. His red eyes shining and at first seeing confirmation that I hadn't made it up, that it hadn't been a dream, left me feeling giddy. Though when he made his intentions to kill me fast... well I was terrified. That was when the wolves descended and a large Russet colored one paused to look at me.

"Did you know we're supposedly descended from wolves?" Jacob's voice said in my head.

I didn't want to believe in werewolves. But if vampires were real, then it stood that everything could be real. I couldn't shake the nagging feeling that the large Russet wolf reminded me so much of Jacob. I quickly pushed those thoughts to the deepest recesses of my mind. Vowing to never again bring up the supernatural.

It was the next day when I realized my period was late. I bought a test and the positive two pink lines showed me I was carrying Jacob's baby. Who knew you could actually get pregnant on the first time? I was scared shit-less. Anything that I had been contemplating was dumped, All I could think about was the life currently growing inside of me.

It was time for me to bite the bullet and see Jake. I was resolved to tell him everything, even that I might actually be falling for him... I drove to the reservation in the rain only to find out Jacob wasn't home. I thought he'd been too sick to even answer the phone! Why didn't he call me?

I waited for him in the rain. Letting the cold water wash over me. My heart was racing when I saw him appear with a group of guys at the edge of the tree line, emerging from the forest. Our eyes connected and he looked different. His hair was cut short and his expression was hard, this wasn't my Jake. It was a stranger giving me such a cold look.

A poweful sense of Déjà Vu engulfed me making me take a step backwards. My heart was hammering in my chest, I couldn't think clearly. Surely fate wouldn't do this to me twice?

"Jake" I called out tentatively, "Can we talk?"

He said something to one of the other guys, then he approached me. He was in cut off shorts and his chest was bare. I greedily drank in his beauty. After having not seen him in so long I was awed by him.

"What?" he asked.

His voice was hard, his face was impassive.

"I thought you were too sick to come outside? Or answer the phone when I call?"

"It's complicated, Bella."

"Jake... We haven't talked since..." I trailed off thinking about the last time we had been together.

"We can't be friends Bella." his voice was flat.

"Jake... please..." I begged feeling the tears threatening to spill over.

"Look." he told me harshly, "You fucking dated one of those damn bloodsuckers. You were fucking a goddamned vampire."

The shock of those words washed over me, "I never... Edward and I never." I fumbled, "You were my first." I whispered.

There was a flicker of emotion in his eye but before I could tell what it was it was gone. His gaze was on the ground, no matter how I tried, he wouldn't look me in the eyes.

"I don't want to be with you and I don't want to be friends."

"Jacob, please!" I begged my breath coming in fast gasps, "You promised."

"I lied."

The damn broke and I began to sob, "So you got what you wanted? You got to fuck me and now you're done? You're worse than Edward EVER was. Even if he was a 'Goddamned Vampire.'" I shouted at him.

I turned on my heal and ran blindly to my truck. My heart shattering once again in my chest leaving me feeling cold and empty. My hand resting on my flat abdomen I promised myself and my child, he or she would never know this kind of pain.

Back at Charlie's I knew I could never stay here. Not with everything. I needed to start my own life somewhere. I would keep my child safe from the likes of Forks.

I pulled out two pieces of paper and wrote frantically.

Dad,

I am so sorry to leave this in a message. I'm pregnant. I found out today.

I went to tell Jacob, but I never got the chance. He doesn't

want anything to do with me. He told me... It doesn't matter what he

told me, just know I can't stay here...

I can't go through that again Dad. Not when I have a baby

to worry about. I'm sorry if this puts you through hell, but I...
I just need to start over. I don't know where I'm going, and

I can't tell mom. I can't go there. I'll figure something out though.

All I ask if you give the other letter here to Jacob.

Don't read it. And please don't tell him

about the baby. He doesn't need to know.

I love you Daddy.

Bella.

Jake,

You don't want me? After everything. I fell in love you with Jake.

I was coming there today to tell you. To try. To... I don't know.

But it seems I'm not wanted, again. Maybe I'm cursed?

Maybe it's being here in Forks. I should have never

come here. I wish I had never given you the

chance to steal my heart. Let alone break it.

I'm leaving Jake. I'm leaving and I don't

have any plans to ever come back.

It hurts to much. There are too many memories and I can't.

I WON'T be that broken person again. I won't let the

second man I've ever loved to do that to me.

I hope you got what you wanted...

Goodbye Jake

B

I packed my bags lightly and drove my trusty truck to the Cullen's house. Driving up and seeing everything closed up didn't hurt as much as I expected it to. It was easy to break the glass in the door. I let myself into the house and began searching the rooms. It wasn't long until I had more cash than I could ever spend rounded up. I would certainly need the funds, they certainly wouldn't miss it.

Then without looking back I headed to the airport. Still unsure of where I was going. Or what I was going to do. I just had to get out...

A/N There it was! The Prologue! Is it good? Do y'all like it? Think it's worth sticking to? I know my Beta loves it, with the way she hounds me for a new chapter as soon as she's read the current one. Heh heh! Until Friday!