That's the Way I've Always Heard It Should Be

Amanda sat in the doctor's office gaping in stunned silence, unable to believe her ears. She knew something had been not right with her lately, but she never suspected this. She looked down at her hands and began nervously picking at her cuticles.

"Amanda, did you hear what I said?" the doctor asked her in alarm.

Amanda nodded numbly then finally looked up at the woman across the desk from her and sputtered, "Are...are you s-s-sure? I mean, maybe there's been some mistake. M-m-maybe my lab results got mixed up with someone else's." She looked at the doctor hopefully. After all, she was not one of those women. She shuddered slightly as she thought of some of the woman of her generation and of how free they were with sexual expression, especially a certain blonde...well, she couldn't really call her a friend, but they weren't exactly enemies either. She wasn't a prude by any means, but sleeping around just wasn't her. She needed to feel something for a guy before taking the plunge. She'd learned her lesson on that the hard way when she was younger.

"Yes, Amanda, I'm quite sure. There's no mistake. You're pregnant."

"I...Um...thank you," She nodded and moved to rise from her seat.

"Wait," The doctor rose from her own seat, stopping Amanda.

She turned back toward the doctor and replied in a calmer tone than she felt, "Was there something else?"

"Well, yes, Amanda. You're going to need proper medical care for you and your baby. If you'll give me a moment, I'll get you a referral for a good obstetrician."

"That...um...that won't be necessary. You see, I'm not from around here, I...Um...I'm from Arlington and I'll...I'll be going back there soon. I'll see my own doctor when I get home and ask him for a referral." She knew very well that seeing Dr. Goodman would be the last thing she'd do. Her mother knew him too well and while he usually respected her privacy, she didn't want her mother finding out from him accidentally before she was ready to break the news to herself. She already knew that Dotty West would be terribly disappointed in her when she found out and hearing that news from someone else would only make matters worse. She'd have to find another doctor or at least wait until she'd told her mother before going to Dr. Goodman. Not that her mother wouldn't embrace the baby wholeheartedly and love her new grandchild. Amanda had no doubt that she would, but still she'd expect her to be married first.

The doctor nodded, then after a beat, asked, "You can tell me that it's none of my business, but you seem rather upset by the news and I couldn't help noticing that you're not wearing a wedding ring. You're not thinking of terminating it, are you?"

"NO!' Amanda stated emphatically looking at the doctor in wide-eyed horror. Who would consider such a thing? After all, unplanned or not, this baby was conceived in love. They loved each other very much and were talking about marriage. It was just...too soon for them. Everything was moving too fast. What if she was making another mistake like the one she had in her prior serious relationship? No, she thought. He loves me and I love him. We'll be fine. I'll just talk to him about it. We'll work it out.

"I'm very sorry," the other woman replied gently. "I didn't mean to offend you, but I just felt that since it's a procedure that can have many side effects and once done, can't be undone, we should talk about it. You just seemed so...so thrown by the news. I want to be sure that you're in the right mental state before making any decisions. I can recommend a good counselor for you to discuss your options with you, if you like."

"Yeah, thrown is a good word," Amanda acknowledged. "It's...it's..." She looked down again took a deep breath and then plunged on, "It's just that my...uh...I mean, the...uh...the baby's father and I we're...we're kind of...not in a good place right now." That was the understatement of the century. She recalled the loud screaming match they'd had just two weekends ago when he'd suggested that she was too dependent on her mother, that he needed a little attention too, to which she'd uncharacteristically replied that at least she had a parent who cared and took the time to show it.

The fight had ended with him storming out and she hadn't spoken to him since. She'd had so much work to do to finish up her classes and she was relishing it. She loved learning new things and she was on the home stretch finally ready to move toward having the real career that she'd wanted for the past four years. "This...this is the last thing we need right now, but... Uh...I...Um...guess we'll make the best of it. Thank you for your concern."

She exited the doctor's office, walked to her borrowed car and began driving back to her temporary home. She still had packing to do before going back to Arlington at the end of the week. Her thoughts were in a whirl, still in disbelief that this was happening. She'd always tried her hardest to be the best person that she could be and now she was nothing more than a statistic, all because of one night of blind, reckless passion after too much champagne and not enough caution. How could this have happened to her?

As she drove, she thought of her statement to the doctor regarding the baby's father. How was she going to tell him? How would he react? Would he be happy? Would he be upset, angry even? What about their marriage plans? This threw a monkey wrench into ALL of that. She didn't know how on earth that would work when they were so very different. He was from a champagne and caviar world and she was a meat and potatoes girl. They were from two different worlds and since they'd begun dating last year, they'd been trying to bridge those differences, find common ground, but it had been difficult, almost so difficult that she wondered if it was worth it. Maybe a big part of it was that as much as they loved each other, they spent so much time apart...just like now; separate assignments to be done were keeping them in separate locations. Until the bombshell that had just been dropped on her, she'd been seriously considering changing the status quo. But now...? Could they be normal? She shook her head. She just didn't know.

Before she knew it, she'd pulled up in front of the building that she'd been staying in, suddenly wishing very much that she were at home with her family and that she could just curl up in her mother's lap and cry out her frustrations as she'd done when she was a little girl. She'd have a lot of explaining to do before that could happen, but even if her mother didn't understand the situation or were disappointed in her, she'd put that all aside if she needed comfort, that's the kind of mother she was. June Cleaver, Dotty West was not; she was far too liberal for that, but was doting and loved her unconditionally. Amanda had always wanted to be a mother just like that.

That thought led her to thinking of the tiny life growing within her. What kind of mother was she going to be to this child that she hadn't planned for, hadn't expected and wasn't entirely sure that she was prepared for or even wanted? She wanted this career path that she worked so hard for so badly and now that was shot, wasn't it? She couldn't be the kind of mother she wanted to be and still have her career. It would be too dangerous for an infant. She thought back to her reaction to the doctor's question about termination and shook her head. No, there was no doubt about it, she'd do her duty to her child and be the best mother that she could be, even if the baby's father wanted no part of it. Her career plans could be put on hold for a while longer until the baby was older. She laid her hand gently on her abdomen and then finally put the car in park, turned the engine off and made her way inside.

Upon entering the building, she tossed the car keys the direction of the woman she'd borrowed them from with a hasty, "thank you' and made her way to the payphone around the corner from the main room, not wanting to be stopped for a conversation by anyone that was milling around. She hurriedly dug into her purse for the appropriate change and dialed the number she knew by heart. She swallowed hard and said, "Hi. It's me..." She listened for a moment, and then replied, "No, I know I haven't called, but to be fair, you haven't either. Look, can't we just forget all that? I'm tired of this 'no contact' business between us. I really need to see you. What are you doing this weekend? My work is all done here and I'll be coming home." At hearing his terse reply, she said, "No, this can't wait!" After listening to him rattle on for another moment, she finally lost her temper and shouted into the phone. "You listen to me, Joe King, we need to talk and we need to do it soon!"