Sirius slowly opened his eyes. For a moment he was a bit disoriented. He tried to remember why he was in bed and why his room was dim yet not nearly dark enough for it to be the middle of the night and not nearly light enough for it to be morning. Then the events of the day came rushing back to him, playing through his mind like a horrible dream.

Wandering off, Knockturn Alley, the spanking that had followed.

He felt his face prickle with warmth at the thought of it all.

Then there was his family. His dad had said that he forgave him and Sirius was thankful for it. He was nearly positive that James wouldn't be angry. His mum was a different story though.

His stomach flipped at the thought of his mum. He was absolutely positive that he had never seen her as angry as she had been earlier. He knew he had to talk to her – to apologize. He just wasn't sure how to do it. Usually when he got into any sort of trouble, she didn't seem angry at all. Usually she would approach him first, making sure that he was okay, bringing him some sort of treat. It was completely normal for her to wake her sons up from their nap, ready to spoil them rotten. Sirius was sure that it had been at least a few hours since he had been made to take a nap and he had woken up all on his own.

He chewed softly on his bottom lip as he tried to decipher how exactly he was supposed to handle this. It was one thing when his dad was cross with him. That happened more frequently. Sirius was comfortable with asking – sometimes begging – the man to forgive him. He had never had to do so with his mum though.

Slowly he rolled onto his back. He braced himself for pain when his bum settled into the mattress and was shocked when he found that he wasn't in any discomfort at all. Sirius always felt that it was almost adding insult to his injury when his bum didn't ache for hours after he was punished. He felt that for all the crying that he had done he should at least be able to feel sorry for himself hours later when he could still barely sit down.

He raised his arms over his head, stretching before rolling onto his other side. A moment later he nearly jumped out of his skin at the sight of James sitting on top of his desk staring at him.

"Git!" Sirius accused as he quickly sat up. "You scared the shit out of me!"

James gave him a sheepish grin. "Sorry." Seconds later his expression changed to one of annoyance. "You're one to talk though. I scared the shit out of you? And I suppose you think I fancied your disappearing act earlier?"

Sirius felt his insides coil at the words. He had been stupid to entertain for even a moment that James wouldn't be cross. "About that," he said softly. He paused as he searched for the right words before realizing that the only words that mattered were truthful ones. "I'm sorry."

"You could have told me," James said in a hurt voice.

"I should have just not done it at all," Sirius countered in a melancholy tone.

James shrugged softly in reply but Sirius knew the look on his brother's face. James was trying to find the right words to say something.

"How long have you been there?" Sirius asked, hoping to move past the topic. James was in his room after all, that was a good sign. At least his brother wasn't off somewhere content to stew in his anger and ignore him all together.

"About ten minutes," James replied. "Dad made me promise I wouldn't bother you. He thinks I'm cleaning my room."

Sirius rolled his eyes in response. He was sure that their dad didn't really believe that James was cleaning his room. It often looked like a pack of pixies had taken over in there and James rarely cleaned it until he was made to do so.

"You okay?" James asked in a soft voice after a moment of silence.

Sirius could hear the concern in the words – in James' tone. His instant reaction was to ignore it, to make light of the situation.

"No," Sirius replied. He tried to force a chuckle but it came out all wrong. "I told you, you nearly made my heart stop. It still isn't beating normally."

"I mean with everything else," James clarified. "With earlier."

Sirius was silent as he pondered over these words, their mum still weighing heavy on his mind. He wasn't alright with how he had treated her – not at all.

"Siri," James said in a quiet voice as he slid off of the desk. He walked the five steps across the room and sat on the edge of his brother's bed. "What is it?"

Had it been anyone else in the world, Sirius would have cut off his own hand before admitting how he felt. It was different with James though. It always had been. There wasn't a single soul on the planet that he could trust more and he knew it. James wouldn't poke fun at him.

"Mum was real mad at me when I got home," Sirius said in a hushed voice. He could feel his ears burning at the memory of it. He had been nearly certain that if his dad wasn't there she would have doled out a punishment with ease.

"So?" James asked. He instantly felt like a complete prat for his words. He knew what it felt like to make their mum mad. It was absolutely dreadful. The last time he could remember having succeeded in angering her had been when Sirius had first come to live with them. James had attempted to hide Sirius and had been caught by his mum. He had brushed off the distressing feelings that day. There had been too much else going on – but he still remembered feeling them. In his entire life his mum had smacked him once. He had been about five and in London with her for the day. They had been standing on a busy corner and James had seen a puppy across the street. Without giving his actions any thought he had let go of her hand, ran out into the road, and nearly gotten hit by a car. When she had caught up with him, she had hugged him so tightly that he could hardly breathe and then she had landed a single smack to his backside causing him to cry instantly. Even at five he could remember being deeply ashamed that he had behaved so badly for her. "I'm sorry," James quickly said before Sirius could respond. He could see the hurt in his brother's eyes. "I'm an arse sometimes."

Sirius looked to James for clarification.

"It's a horrible feeling when she is angry with you. I shouldn't have acted like you were dumb for being upset about it. Not after today."

"Was she real mad when Malley came home and told her where I was?" Sirius hated himself for asking the question. He was almost positive that he didn't want to know the answer.

James was silent for a moment as he tried to find the right words before realizing that there were no right words. He couldn't lie to Sirius and any other words would be just that. "Yeah, she was."

"She didn't come in to wake me up," Sirius said the words instantly feeling like a complete baby for being so upset over it.

James couldn't imagine such a thing. It wasn't as if it was something she only did on occasion. Every time James had ever been punished and then made to take a nap his mum had come to wake him. Even when he had gotten suspended it hadn't changed. She had scolded him at first and handed him a list of chores he was to complete while he was home, but after that she had cuddled him for ages making him feel loads better. She had even slipped him a chocolate frog as she made him promise not to tell his dad that she had. "Maybe she was on her way up but you woke up first?" James tried even though he knew that his words didn't make any sense. His mum had spent the better part of the afternoon organizing the pantry and now she was cooking dinner. "She's making roast beef," James added. "And treacle tart for dessert."

Sirius was sure that James' words were meant to make him feel better but if anything they made him feel worse.

"She was scared Siri," James said in a soft voice when he saw the hurt in Sirius' eyes deepen, "Really, really scared. She was crying and everything. I think she thought that she might never see you again."

Sirius felt his stomach flip at the words. He was sure that he had never felt so bad about doing something before in his life. "Should I go try and talk to her now?" He was sure that if she was alone in the kitchen he could find the right words. He often talked to her in the kitchen. James usually slept in forever in the summer. Sirius would wake at least an hour before him. It was actually one of his favorite times of day, eating his breakfast while he chatted it up with his mum.

"If you think it's a good idea then-"

"If what is a good idea?" Charles asked as he walked through the bedroom door. "Not planning our next great mischievous adventure are we boys?"

To anyone else it would have sounded like a scolding, but Sirius could see the hint of amusement in his father's eyes.

"Nope," Sirius replied. "I'm staying out of trouble."

"Ah excellent answer," Charles smiled. "And speaking of…" He turned his attention to James. "I thought we were cleaning our room and not disturbing Sirius?"

"I didn't disturb him," James replied. "Did I Sirius?"

Sirius shook his head as he stretched his arms above his head.

"Didn't tidy your room either I presume?" Charles questioned.

"Well no," James answered. "Not really."

"Not really or not at all?" Charles asked with a small grin of amusement. He was not daft. He had known the moment that James had gone upstairs that he never intended to enter his room, let alone clean it.

"Not at all," James clarified. "But I can now." He quickly stood and headed in the direction of the door.

"You cannot," Charles shook his head. "Because now it is time for dinner, go wash up and help your mother set the table."

James made a face at these words causing his father to playfully swat his backside.

"Go now," Charles instructed. "Before you find yourself cleaning your room and being sent to bed without supper."

James playfully rolled his eyes before groaning his agreement and leaving the room. It was always the punishment that their father joked about giving them – sending them to bed without supper. Both boys knew it would never really happen but it was always threatened in a teasing tone nonetheless.

Sirius looked up at his dad as he climbed out from under his covers.

"Alright then?"

Sirius nodded as he stood. It was always the same. Despite the fact that he had misbehaved horribly and his dad had been quite fair with his punishment the man obviously still felt bad. He would spend the next hour or so throwing glances in Sirius' direction, making sure the child was truly okay and that no hard feelings were harbored.

"I'll go wash up too," Sirius offered. He made it all of five steps across the room when his dad reached out and grabbed him pulling him into a tight hug.

He felt the man's chin rest on the top of his head for a moment before he pulled it away and planted a gentle kiss on Sirius' forehead. "You are so very loved," Charles said in a soft voice. "You know that don't you?"

Sirius nodded unable to find his voice. He could feel the tears burning the back of his throat and he was sure that if he attempted to speak they would rush to the surface causing him more embarrassment than he could handle in one day.

A moment later Charles slowly released his grip on the child, "Go get washed up then."

Sirius went to bed long before he was made to do so.

Dinner had been delicious just as he had known it would. His mum had hardly spoken a single word to him though.

Throughout the entire meal she had asked him to pass the vegetables once and apologized for accidently kicking him under the table. Aside from that she had remained silent. Of course she had talked to James and to their dad but she had hardly even acknowledged Sirius' presence.

After dinner and dessert he had wanted to try and talk to her but when he offered to clean up she had shook her head and waved her hand causing the mess to clean itself before she retreated to the parlor with a book.

Sirius had debated approaching her there but his dad was in the room too and despite the fact that he had no problem talking to the man, he didn't want him to hear the conversation with his mum either.

Instead, Sirius had gone up to James' room with him and played a game of chess even though he couldn't concentrate in the least. He had lost horribly although he was sure that James was going easy on him.

The moment their game ended Sirius announced that he was going to bed. James tried his hardest to convince his brother to stay up and talk to him but Sirius declined. He appreciated James but he wanted to be alone.

He rolled onto his side as he felt the tears burning the back of his throat once more. He should have said something at dinner. He should have ignored the fact that they weren't alone and just said everything he felt. Now it was probably too late. She probably hated him. She was probably regretting the decision to ever adopt him. She was probably wondering if his real parents would take him back.

"Bit early for bed isn't it?"

He quickly sat up to see her walking across his room, a concerned look on her face.

He couldn't stop the tears from rushing to the surface and then rolling down his face. "I'm so sorry," he croaked through his tears. He felt like an idiot but he couldn't hold his emotions or the words back for even a second longer.

Less than a minute later she was across the room and sitting on is bed. "Come here Love," she said softly.

Without a moment of hesitation Sirius crawled out from under his quilt. A second later he was in her lap, allowing her to cuddle him.

"Please forgive me," he practically begged through his tears. "I swear I'll never do it again."

"I'm not angry with you Sirius. Not anymore. I'm hurt. I'm hurt that you would do something like that to me and I still can't shake the feeling that I almost lost you today."

Her words caused Sirius' tears to turn to sobs. "I'm sorry. I didn't think…I didn't think it would hurt you."

"You are one of my babies," she said in a gentle voice. "If something were to happen to you I would be inconsolable. I can't even fathom the thought." She paused for a moment as her right hand gently rubbed Sirius' back. "I know that you are young and that you made a foolish mistake and as I said I am not cross with you, but please don't ever do anything like that again. I'm sure I couldn't handle it."

"I promise," Sirius blubbered out through his tears.

She nodded softly before placing a kiss on top of the child's head. "That's a promise that I will hold you too."

The pair stayed as they were for nearly thirty minutes, Sirius in her lap, cuddled against her, as she gently whispered reassurances to him. When his tears finally subsided he cleared his throat, "I really am sorry for today and I promise it will never happen again."

"I know that you are," she replied in a kind voice. "And you are forgiven." She paused for a moment as she looked down at him. "Now are you sure that you want to be in bed quite so early? Summer is nearly over you know. You'll be back at Hogwarts before you know it and restricted to your dormitory after curfew."

Sirius sniffled softly. A part of him felt guilty for having fun. After the way he had made her feel the least he could do was send himself to bed early.

"I'm sure James is just dying to do something with you," she went on.

Sirius nodded in agreement as he gently untangled himself from her arms and crawled out of her lap. "You're sure I shouldn't go to bed early tonight? After what I did I mean?" He was ashamed to ask such a question but he had to be sure.

"Nonsense," she insisted. "Go see what James is up to. Besides from what I understand you have already been thoroughly punished."

Sirius blushed involuntarily at her words.

"I'm sure that sending you to bed early on top of that would constitute as cruel and unusual punishment," she smiled softly. "Go be a kid."

Sirius grinned in reply as he slid off of the side of his bed. He walked halfway across his room before he turned and went back to her. He threw his arms around her, squeezing tightly. "Love you."

"With all my heart," she answered in a soft voice.