Moving Forward

Disclaimer: I own nothing related to Major Crimes; James Duff, et al, has that lovely distinction.

A/N: Ep Tag 5.1: That letter from Andy remained in the drawer of her bedside table. Sharon liked having it close to her, especially on days he wasn't staying over. Now all these months later, she was thinking about that day and night, the next morning and all the times after that in relation to Andy deciding he needed to shorten his commute.

A/N2: Enjoy! Please leave a review if y'all's feel so inclined. They are ever so lovely to read and much appreciated. #TodayIsLife

~~~~~PT~~~~~

They usually spent a great deal of their personal time together at Sharon's condo. Andy felt more than at home there, having stayed for his recuperation, and knew where she kept everything. On days when their dates brought them closer to his area or when they just wanted to spend uninterrupted time together, they'd end up at his house.

Their relationship hadn't gone to that final level of intimacy yet but they were getting there. Sharon allowed herself to open her heart and trust her instincts, and Andy, and their levels of passion were moving through the bases. Long gone were the days of him thinking they'd need a chaperone. Long gone were the days of him thinking he had to totally step back and let her take the lead. She was so much better at letting their relationship grow naturally at this point than he'd ever expected after that conversation on their first date.

"If we're really going to do this, Andy, it has to be slow. It has to be at a pace I'm comfortable with or I won't be able to handle it, not at this point in my life."

"We'll go as slow as you need to, Sharon, cuz I really think this thing between us is worth waiting for."

Andy was an honest guy; he didn't like holding things back from anyone but most especially Sharon. He'd asked Provenza if he should give her the letter he'd written before his surgery or just throw it away. Of course his friend had whispered, "Ye Gods," at the realization that he was still holding on to it for so many months and was still wondering what to do about it. "Give her the damn thing already," was his response before he rolled his eyes at him. Still not being able to decide, Andy had unfolded the note, reread it, folded it back in half and placed it in his desk drawer figuring one day he'd find the courage to give it to Sharon. 'Then,' he thought, 'she'll know how long I've loved her.' It just seemed like the time was never right.

A rough case behind them, the job offer from the NFL still hanging in the air though she seemed almost set on not even interviewing for it, they'd decided to spend the day together at his place without making any plans. It was a well-deserved day of rest, relaxation and continued exploration of one another; as much as she was comfortable allowing, anyway.

Easily finding reasons to touch one another, sit close together or snuggle always led to soft murmurs, gentle kisses that turned deeply passionate, and their hands slowly moving over each other. They had yet to touch the other's most intimate area but they knew already they could move their hands over every other part.

During the cooler part of the day, though still hot, they'd gone to sit on the lounge chairs in his yard. Both with eyes closed, holding hands, they enjoyed the peaceful silence between them.

Out of nowhere, he heard her quietly announce, "I like how high your fence is," with a smile that reached her eyes.

"So do I," he replied as he moved from his lounger to hers.

As the kisses heated up, he changed the setting on the chair and moved it to a completely horizontal position. Covering her mouth with his, their legs became entangled.

As he strained against his jeans, he suggested, "You should leave shorts and a tank top here for days like this. Jeans get too hot."

Without hesitation, she whispered, "I should," before nipping, licking and sucking along his neck.

As he did the same to her, he realized she'd managed to separate her legs from his and he'd settled between them. Reclaiming her lips, he felt her untucking his tee shirt so he followed suit with her v-neck. He'd learned to slowly try new things with her and they'd worked well thus far.

While his hands knew the feel of her breasts, his mouth didn't and so he pushed her shirt up slowly as they got lost in each other. Working his way down her neck, he kissed the exposed areas of her breasts, took in her perfume along with the scent that could only be her, and then swiped his tongue over her erect nipples. When she arched towards him, he took it as sign to go further. Lifting her bra slowly, he licked then mouthed one breast before the other. After he'd pulled her bra back down, she'd had them switch positions, pulled his tee up and did the same to him. He was surprised when she made no mention of how very hairy he was but rather ran her nails through, gently scraping his skin in such a way that he was straining even more against his jeans.

Rolling them back over, he again suggested she leave shorts and a tank there.

Murmuring, "I will," she gently scraped her nails along his back before pulling his shirt down again.

His heart beat a little quicker at the realization of what she said. I will not I will when I'm ready or I will soon. Just I will. Working to keep his excitement under control, he asked her if they should take a break. She was sure to explain that she only said yes because the sun was still blazing, they needed some water and air conditioning.

Once inside, he went to the kitchen to grab a couple of bottles of water and pour some ice tea into glasses in case she wanted some. As he was doing that, she stood in the living room, eyeing one of the frames on the wall that had been bothering her since they'd first hung it. "It's a little crooked," she finally decided aloud.

"I kinda figured from the way you keep staring at it," he smiled sheepishly. Usually a perfectionist, he'd been distracted by her as they worked to hang it together. "We'll mark it this time. Would ya mind grabbing a pencil from my desk?"

She moved to his desk as he put the beverages on his coffee table. When she opened the drawer, there was a change in her demeanor and her hand flew to cover her diaphragm. Wondering what happened, he saw her eyes moisten and realized she'd seen it. Not only seen it but was taking it the wrong way; taking it the way Jack had always intended. "Shit, Sharon, I'm sorry. This isn't how I wanted you to find out," he'd said in his haste to get over to her.

"You're prepared," she whispered, hurt poured into every word.

"No, I'm not," he tried to assure her. "It's not like that." Putting his hands on her face, he succeeded in getting her to look at him before he told her to read it, that it was a good letter. He felt like an idiot. Provenza and his damn refusal to just tell her. "I wrote it before my surgery. That day Provenza was trying to kill me with the DNR stuff." He shrugged and scratched his neck. "Look, give me a chance to explain this." When she barely nodded, he continued. "I felt a certain way about you and I asked my best friend to let you know if I didn't make it," he said haltingly. "Being an idiot, he wouldn't just tell you. No! He had me write it down and tells me he'll just give it to you if I die."

'That can't be right, that was months ago,' she thought. "You wrote this before your surgery?"

"Yeah, and I kind of, well, I didn't have the nerve to give it to you when you had so much else going on but since you found it," he paused to place a chaste kiss on her lips, "I want ya to read it, please."

The hesitation was crystal clear as she reached for the letter. Hand slightly shaking and deeper breathes gave her away despite how calm she was trying to appear. Pulling her to him, he murmured, "I would never do that to you. I would never hurt you like that." Grabbing the sheet of paper himself, he moved her to sit on his desk. Holding it up, he explained, "This is Provenza not wanting to say my words to you. He's a romantic at heart and didn't want you to hear it from him. This letter, Sharon," he moved the paper side to side, "is me telling you how I feel."

Her eyes misted over again. "You wanted me to know," she rasped. "She had so many opportunities to say something and, for whatever reason, she just didn't say it." That part of that case never left her.

He cleared his throat. "Well, to be honest here, my reason was so I didn't scare ya off. We're taking it slow and this letter, my feelings for you, I didn't want you to think I was pushing." Standing between her legs, he had his hands resting on her forearms. Letting the paper drop, he moved it to cup her jaw. "That is not what I wanted to do. I just didn't want you to wonder." He kissed her softly. "For once in your life, I wanted you to have a letter that made you smile." The next kiss was deeper. "I thought it might help you if something happened during the surgery." They both put their fear of that possibility, though long since passed, into the next kiss and became lost in one another and their own feelings.

When they finally moved apart, she picked up the paper and suggested they move to the couch. He helped her off the desk, placed his arm around her, and found himself walking faster than he'd expected to keep up.

Taking a few gulps of the water, she opened the yellow paper they used for suspects to write their confessions. "Lt Provenza really didn't want to give me your message," she chuckled softly.

"Yeah, some friend he is at times. Anyway, it's not the best but it's honest, Sharon."

"I know it is," she whispered before kissing him.

"I won't hurt you, I promise you that. I've always told you that."

"I believe you, Andy," was all she managed to get out before his mouth covered hers. Passionate kisses, words of comfort and assurance, and hands gently caressing each other's bodies occupied the next several minutes. Moving back, she assured him that she was ready to read his message. Swallowing hard, he agreed it was time.

Dear Sharon,

So I asked my best friend to give you one simple message, one sentence, and he hands me a legal pad and tells me to write down my confession. Seriously?! After he answers DNR for every question on that damn form? He's trying to kill me and he won't even tell you that I love you if I end up dying. Some friend he is. Well, he really is a good friend; I'm just annoyed at him right now. I'm sure Rusty will tell you all about the DNR stuff. He seemed concerned and thought you might be better at it. You would've been, believe me.

So anyway, back to the purpose of this letter. I don't want you to wonder how I felt about you or where you stood in my life. I love you and I want to make a life with you. That's why I waited. You're worth it. We're worth it. I'm glad you took a chance on me, on us, because I know it's hard for you to open up like that. I won't say anything nasty about Jack but after everything you went through with him, I can't blame you for going slow. I want you to know that too; that as much as I might balk sometimes, I'm good with the waiting.

I know my kids like you. They think you're good for me and, hand to God, I agreed with them on that. I think your kids like me too. I saw Ricky smirking the last time he was here. Emily smiled a little too much, if you know what I mean. I guess Rusty keeps them informed. My point is, we can do this. We can make this happen. If I live, that is, but if I don't, I see how much love you have inside and I don't want you to stop trying. I know that you would've eventually told me how you feel about me; when you got to feeling it, that is.

This really isn't how I wanted this to go down. I wanted to see your face when I said it. I wanted to be able to tell if I made you happy or nervous or sad. I know you never expected to love anyone after Jack so this was all a huge surprise. Believe me, it was a surprise for me too. I'm glad we both took a chance though. I'm happy for the time I had with you. If this is the end, then so be it but I wish it wasn't. There was so much more we could've done. There are still things that we could've said.

So that's my confession. I love you. I'm just sorry you'll find out by reading this. Telling you myself would've been better.

Love, Andy

She held the paper to her heart after reading it. She only put it down when she took off her glasses. Wiping under her eyes, never looking at him once, she felt him move closer and pull her to him. "What'd ya think?"

"It's beautiful," she whispered. "I'd like to keep it." Taking a deep breathe, she exhaled slowly. "I don't have any of Jack's letters, if you were wondering. I'd like to keep yours."

"Yeah, sure, that's fine." They couldn't get away from that word. Fine.

"I never felt rushed," she murmured before claiming his lips with hers. "My children do like you and know that you're very special to me," she added before moving along his neck, leaving a wet trail of kisses and nips. "You made me happy, Andy, I'm not nervous at all." His own nerves took over and he pulled her to straddle him as he deepened their next kiss.

"I love you, Sharon, and," he covered her lips with his finger, "you don't have to say it back. I'm not rushing you."

She didn't answer him, not with words anyway. She merely pulled his tee shirt up and over his head. Dropping it on the couch next to them, she gently scraped her nails down his chest. When she heard him softly moan, she whispered, "You like that, don't you?" He nodded and pulled her in for a kiss, his tongue entering her mouth as soon as their lips were close enough. When she could speak, she assured him she didn't feel rushed. As she rocked slowly with him, she admitted her own feelings. "I love you, Andy."

His emotions played across his features. She watched him go from initial disbelief, to surprise, to happiness then relief in the end. During their next heated kiss, he pulled up her shirt and, when he met no resistance, he pulled it over her head and dropped it on top of his. His eyes burned with pure lust as he licked his lips and massaged her breasts. During their next kiss, he reached behind her and opened her bra. Dropping it on top of their shirts, he immediately mouthed one breast while tweaking the other; going back and forth, giving each equal attention as she sighed, ran her hands through his hair, and pushed herself closer to him.

Moving back, she grabbed their shirts, held them to her chest as she stood up, and took his hand. He slowly led her to his bedroom, giving her ample time to change her mind. Once inside, their kisses were as hot as they'd ever been and they removed the rest of their clothing quickly. After he'd pulled the covers back, however, they slowed down.

Lying on his bed, they touched each other everywhere, memorizing all the places that brought pleasure with just a touch. She instinctively parted her legs when she felt his fingers seeking out her very sensitive nub. Their bodies were on fire with desire and their newly-admitted feelings of love. It didn't take long before she was going over the edge and moaning his name in such a way that his member practically vibrated. Feeling that, she told him how much she wanted to be with him and assured him the letter wasn't the reason. Reminding him about their time in his yard, she told him she knew then that she was ready. She would only be willing to bring clothes over if she was ready for further commitment.

He'd always imagined making her fall over the precipice several times before he found out how it felt to be inside her but the look on her face, the love in her eyes and the sound of her voice changed all that. Moving slowly, he allowed both of them time to adjust to this new facet of their relationship. Before he knew it, she was breathing out his name and he went over the cliff with her. There would be other times to make it last longer, to enjoy themselves even more. This time was just a way to show, and celebrate, their newly-admitted love for one another.

Afterwards, as they lay tangled up in each other, she spoke softly into his chest. "I'd always imagined our first time being at my home."

Kissing the top of her head, "So did I because, and I'm not complaining, you're always so worried about leaving Rusty alone in the condo overnight." They'd had conversations about that and, as much as she assured him it wouldn't be the case, he'd always known they'd spend the majority of their time together at her place.

"Does that bother you?" She wasn't really concerned because if it did, she would just work on worrying less while she spent the night at his house.

"Nah, as long as we're together, I don't really care where we are." Wrapping his arms tighter around her, he whispered, "I don't want you to go home tonight though unless I go with you." He, in the past, had no problem just getting dressed and leaving a woman's place or vice versa but he knew it wasn't meant to be that way with her.

"If you stay with me tonight then we made love for the first time here and spent our first night together there." When she looked at him, he saw how relaxed she was, how content with her decision she was, and how the happiness made her green eyes glimmer in a way he'd never seen before.

"That's a good compromise," he finally answered, smiling at her reaction.

That night when Rusty saw Andy walk in with his overnight bag and listened to Sharon tell him to just bring it into her room, he'd teased her about the overnight guest conversation they'd had. This caught Andy's attention and he'd stopped, turned around and gave her that lopsided grin that made her smile whenever she saw it.

"It was just a heads-up type of conversation so that each of us was ready for the other to have overnight guests without being surprised," she explained quickly.

"Don't be embarrassed," he shrugged, "I'm just glad you were making plans." With a smirk, he hurriedly headed to her bedroom, but not before seeing her eyebrow quirk at him.

~~~~~# # #~~~~~

That letter from Andy remained in the drawer of her bedside table. Sharon liked having it close to her, especially on days he wasn't staying over.

Now all these months later, she was thinking about that day and night, the next morning and all the times after that in relation to Andy deciding he needed to shorten his commute.

Always an impulsive person, it seemed this time he had already thought everything out. He'd researched neighborhoods and commutes, allowed for traffic, and decided Silver Lake was the next place he'd be living. The location didn't require discussion.

He'd lived in Valencia for a long time and the commute to work bothered him but never enough to sell his house until now. It was true that living in Silver Lake would bring him closer to Nicole and her step-children but it was also true that it would bring him closer to her. One hour from Valencia versus twenty minutes from Silver Lake. That would actually make a huge difference in regards to the time they spent together outside of work. Whether they'd be living together right away required discussion.

She liked the idea; maybe a little too much but then the doubts always settled in. That was what had her feeling a bit nervous. With Andy's patience, she had learned to fight her fears over the last almost-year of dating. This would just be another step in their relationship; one that brought them closer to that future together they spoke about lately.

With the possibility of them living together and her fears in mind, Sharon suggested to Andy that they discuss him putting his house up for sale that night before they had dinner. She'd learned it was best not to overthink or to keep her thoughts to herself when it came to her boyfriend.

Though her nerves were showing through, she knew in her heart they would talk it out and come to a decision that was best for both of them, separately and as a couple.

[The End]

A/N3: Thanks for reading! Looking forward to the next episode.