How do you talk to girls?

A/N: Disclaimer- I own nothing except the plot, OC characters and any mistakes that slip through. Finn Hudson, Rachel Berry and any other known glee characters mentioned, belong to RIB and Fox Television. This is just for fun and my way of keeping the epicness that is Finchel alive. Thanks to everyone that read and reviewed on my last couple of one shots. I hope you enjoy this one just as much.

A Finn Hudson and Rachel Berry fanfiction.

Romance/Humour

T rating to begin will probably change up to M, once Finchel find their groove.

**keep on drumming**

How do you talk to girls?

Summary: Even though you are now a grown man girls' have, since your earliest days at kindergarten, for some reason made you shy and nervous. But what happens when you finally meet one that makes your heart start to pound stopping your breathing, your palms sweat and your head swim, you have a desperate need to talk to her... But can't because the ten feet that separates you seems like a thousand and ten along a rickety rope bridge.

But even if you were closer you couldn't speak, because your words have vanished inside the giant knot that your tongue has suddenly transformed into, and you'd most probably faint on the spot if she so much as looks your way. There must be something you can do about it, right, right…?

But wait… what if you've had the gift of girl talk all along? The problem all those years was…, you were just not talking to the one that honestly wanted to hear you!

A look at Finn Hudson's interactions with girls over the years.

I see this girl over there right away
I'm trying to think of something to say
Well I think I'll have one more drink
I'll be ready to make my play
But this guy moves in and he talks to her
And she nods her head
Well I'm used to missing out on the girl
But I want to know what he said…

Part-1

1998 Current time:

"Finn honey, are you nearly ready? I have your jacket here and I even popped your favorite pen into the inside pocket. Your party starts in an hour, and we still need to get across town. The traffic is bound to be horrendous being a Saturday night and all, not to mention the city planners have decided that most of the streets between here and the center of Los Angeles, need to be dug up at once. Thus, rerouting all traffic so a simple trip from our peaceful neck of the woods, now takes twice as long."

As the man listens to his wife, a loud sigh flooded with irritation escapes through his pouty lips, because to be honest he still, even after all these years in the public eye would rather stay home and be comfortable lounging around in his sweat pants and slippers, than dress up like a penguin in a tux and go to fancy parties. His dislike of said parties is due in part, to the large numbers of people and especially the overt affection shown by the numerous women, which for a man in his line of work was a little odd but there you have it. Only one woman, besides his mom and his daughter, has ever made him feel comfortable, and at ease in her company. He looks up at the sound and locks eyes with the owner of the voice in the reflection of his mirror, his eyes softening instantly as his face relaxes.

His normally deep baritone voice taking a childish whine he says, "Yes, yes, I know baby, but do we really have to go? You know parties and crowds of grabby female type people really aren't my thing. Wouldn't a nice quiet evening in with take out or my super famous grilled cheeus' and enjoying a nice glass of wine or two, snuggling on our comfy sofa dressed in our jammies and bunny slippers, watching Glee on TV be much more fun? You know I'm rooting for the cute little brunette with the powerhouse voice and the, oh so nice butt, getting it on with the studly QB…

I'll even make the popcorn without burning it this time I promise! I've been practicing and the kids said I did a pretty good job the other week, only about a quarter was burnt." He sends a lop-sided dimpled smile along with his sad puppy dog eyes hoping his cuteness will let him off the hook.

Stifling a grin and trying to be firm but failing miserably at the cute little boy lost look on his face, she says through an eruption of giggles,

"Finn Hudson, you are a 48-year old man who has spent the better part of the last 25 years in the public eye and are every woman's ideal dream lover, … but don't get me started on 'that skanky blonde' one that forgets the dream part.

You are also aware that Artie is throwing this little shindig in your honor yes? So, let's get to going mister…"

She walks closer to him and presses a small kiss on his pouty lips at the same time as her left hand rubs his groin, before turning to gather her purse and shawl then sauntering slowly to the door adding an extra swish of her hips which she knows from experience, will have her husband groaning with want. As she reaches the doorway of their beautifully decorated bedroom, she twists her body at the waist so she is facing him and smiles impishly before saying…

"I know Glee will still be there baby, cos Ryan down at Fox, gave me the lot on DVD in thanks for helping his sister get an interview with Vogue, as you know Cedes is the editor and she was very impressed with Imogen's résumé and the glowing reference from Kurt Hummel-Anderson who is the new head designer over at Ralph Lauren."

Smiling at her man's pout again she continues, this time though, her tone is smooth and sexy.

"Have I mentioned I think the dude with the mohawk is all sorts of sexy badass, and I want to see him try his charms on your tiny singer, which would probably cause a bit of jealous friction between him and the QB, that would be sooo hott! Those bad-boy guns are amazing and just the thing to get a girl all hot and bothered…"

Finn can't help but stand up taller and puff out his chest before flexing his biceps, while at the same time trying and failing in his attempts to look angry causing his wife to giggle like a little girl at his show of sexy jealously.

"S-so, the sooner we get there the sooner we can get home and engage in a bit of 'us' time before Tayla gets home, you know how she gets super grossed out when she finds us having fun. Thank goodness, the boys are staying with my brother tonight, at least we will only have to face one lot of complaints about old people getting their freak on."

Another burst of girlish giggles following her out the door, and throwing a parting shot over her shoulder she says in all seriousness. "But If I were your tiny singer, I'd pick the tall QB, his goofy cuteness is totally adorkable, and super sexy, he makes me wet every time I hear him sing, Mmm… I do declare I love a man that can hit those high B's..."

Thankful her husband can't see her face which is now all flushed, she feels a tingle in her lady parts at the thought of their alone time later, and the memories of their past, that for some weird reason, is like the TV show glee Finn has been taken with ever since he first watched it, and has not missed an episode.

Groaning with desire at her sexy actions Finn drops his head and sighs, again feeling very much like calling up his friends and cancelling but also knows that this will be the very last event of this type he will probably endure ever again, unless his next endeavour as a writer doesn't turn out to be a monumental failure. Plus, he knows his wife is looking forward to catching up with the good friends she has made with his cast-mates and everyone else. But also, agreeing with her that their 17-year-old daughter thinks she and her generation invented 'making out' and no one over the age of 30 should be allowed to do it in a public place or indeed their own living room or kitchen, or basically anywhere a man might find his super sexy and gorgeous wife at any given time (he smiles cheekily at the memory of their fun time in the laundry room last week when he found her bent over the washing machine, dressed only in her short satin robe, fresh from her shower and smelling like vanilla heaven and well… needless to say the wash didn't get done till much, much, much later… like the next day).

Thinking back to when he was younger and all the dramas he had with the opposite sex, he wonders how he ever made it past the single word hello, with the girl who was now his wife without melting into a giant puddle of nervous goo, made him laugh out loud. Hs mind fast-forwarding to the next stage of his life and as the stereotypical cartoon light bulb flashes over his head at his epiphany he instantly knows what to call it.

Finn quickly finishes getting ready and just as he sees his wife in the entry hall of their home chatting to their driver he starts to sing his voice reaching the high B effortlessly during his rendition of 'Don't stop Believing' one of his favorite songs from his youth and reprised in his favorite TV show glee, that has always made him think that anything is possible… be it good school results, a successful career or digging up enough courage to finally speak to the only girl to make your heart sing and your knees weak and the one that he is lucky enough to have been with since he was 18 years old. As he locks eyes with his one the words thank god, I finally figured out 'How to Talk to Girls', echoing in his head making his smile even wider and turn his eyes a much darker shade of lustful brown, the instant they connect with hers.

XXXX

Arriving at the fancy Beverly Hilton Hotel on Wilshire Boulevard with about 15 minutes to spare, thankful that the road works didn't cause too many problems. Finn and his wife, who was dressed in a stunning white lace, halter neck pant suit, her dark brown hair highlighted with streaks of a light toffee color, and styled to look messy in a pile on the crown of her head, minimal makeup covering her beautiful face, instead she was glowing naturally from the inside out with good-health and happiness.

They greet the doorman and ask directions to the Abrams party. Immediately upon recognising Finn, Force the doorman points the pair in the right direction, while at the same time taking a good long (bordering on creepy) look at the woman standing in front of him.

Forgetting to keep his thoughts to himself Force says out loud "Man! I'd give anything to tap that… oh god, for a tiny chick she is so freaking hot, but I'd bet she'd be a real tiger in the sack I could stand for ever giving her…!"

Cutting off the younger guy's words under the guise of shaking his hand, Finn gives it an extra hard squeeze to let him know he doesn't appreciate his wife being spoken about like that, and just sends the guy a hard glare as he tightens his other arm around his wife's waist, speaking loud enough so Force hears.

"Tell me something I don't know but listen, I'll do you a solid man, instead of punching your lights out, or telling your boss about your inappropriate comments about MY WIFE, who is a visitor to this fine establishment, and just so you don't make a fool of yourself again, SHE IS MINE!"

Making sure to enunciate clearly his next words he slowly adds, "And has been since before you were born KID!"

Smiling and tingling inside at her husband's obvious but totally unnecessary jealously even after all this time together she says breathlessly, "I-I'll catch you in a little bit honey I just need to pop to the powder room, you go in and have fun, but just remember Mr. Hudson to tell that handsy blonde hussy of a wardrobe assistant…, when she asks if you're all alone and can she can take you home, you must tell her no, 'Cause don't forget whose taking you home and in whose arms you're gonna be, so darlin', save the last dance for me."

He instantly presses one palm over his heart feeling her voice, as he does every time she sings and that old song by the Drifters was always one of his favorites when he was younger, and not even bothering to hide his affection or care who might be watching, (especially the aforementioned blonde who takes every opportunity she can to get him alone, which he makes sure are never). Finn proceeds to lay a deep kiss on his wife's willing mouth at the same time as sliding his hand from her waist, over her hip and squeezing her butt, he then moans into her neck.

"D-damn straight babe, endgame!" Letting her go, and with a goofy look on his face, he watches her sway on her high heels for a minute before she collects herself and makes her way to the bathroom.

Meanwhile he tries to surreptitiously adjust himself before his obvious arousal is noticed by too many people. He doesn't care if people see him kissing his wife, but he, and more importantly he knows his Mom, isn't interested in reading or hearing more gossipy speculation about the size of his package. (Only one woman's opinion of that matters to him, and judging by the insistent repeat performance demands, and screams of his name earlier this afternoon he is still doing ok).

Finally, inside the fancily decorated room Finn sees his cast-mates, camera people, makeup and wardrobe girls thankfully Quinn the blonde one, is tied up at the bar with Carlos the sound tech guy, looking like she has had a few drinks so Finn thinks he should be safe for a little while. Also, what appears to be every guest star they had in the 10 years he was working on 'Tis but a spool of thread.

Making his way across the opulent ballroom smiling and waving at his friends and acquaintances, he grabs a beer from a passing waitress, who nearly drops her tray once she gets a good look at him.

"OHHH um… excuse me, but um h-hi… are you Casey Richards…? Y-you are! Oh, my god I can't believe it… Can I please get your autograph?" She quickly deposits her tray on the closest table and with a shaky hand offers Finn her little note pad and a pen.

Smiling at the mistake about his name and marvelling at the fact that many of the fans he has met over the years, still can't differentiate between his fictional TV character and his real-life self, and know nothing about his personal life which is just fine with him. It eases his mind to know his wife and kids have been able to lead relatively normal lives out of the spotlight.

"Sure, you can." He winks at her as he takes her notepad, grinning at the way she nervously tucks her hair behind her ear repeatedly, he waves away her offer of a pen, instead digging into his jacket pocket for his own which is shaped like a drumstick. Noticing her name badge that indicates her name is Fleur, he scribbles on the page keeping an eye out for his wife. As he hands it back he sends another smile and a wink, making Fleur blush a deep red color before she thanks him in another nervous jumble of words, then forgetting to pick up her tray she gushes to her fellow waitress about him. Before sheepishly collecting her tray a few minutes later, and sending him an awe-struck wave when he just smiles at her.

Finn just smiles and shakes his head as he makes his way over to where he can see Artie Abrams, his best friend and director since their college days. Totally enjoying his drink and the undivided attentions of the bevy of ladies all vying for a spot in his bed or next show or both.(Little do they know his heart is already been given to another). Appearing to Finn as though he had been pre-gaming for a while, however as soon as he sees Finn he wheels his chair towards his star and reaches up as far as possible to wrap his arms around his friend's neck. Totally ignoring the multitude of camera flashes belonging to the various press outfits going off like fourth of July fireworks.

"Finnnnnyyy the man of the hour! How goes it bruh? I can't believe the end has come man, who would have thought our little show that was slated by the 'who's who' in the biz, to die from poor ratings after only half a season, has gone on to be the most popular show for the past 10 years! Not to mention the number of awards for everything from writing to set design to special effects, but I gotta tell ya buddy, it wouldn't have been possible without our star quality main man, YOU Mr. Finn Hudson! I can't thank you enough I love ya man."

A little embarrassed by Artie's emotional outburst, Finn smiles shyly and as he leans down to hug Artie, he says humbly. "Aw, come on dude I was just reading what was in front of me, you and Devon did the hard work, but I gotta tell ya man I had a blast and have to thank you for taking a chance on me way back when."

Folding his hand so he can fist-bump his friend, Artie is smiling and nodding through his alcohol haze, opening his mouth about to dispute Finn's words when the two are approached by a tall red headed woman dressed in a tailored dark grey pant suit, followed by a cute pixie like, dark haired woman, loaded down with an equipment case over one shoulder and a camera slung around her neck.

Finn wonders to himself why she doesn't have a little cart or trolley or something coz she sure is a petite one, and looks lost under all her equipment. She looks up to see Finn watching her, which leads to her face and neck instantly flushing a dark red, and an obvious sheen of sweat covering her forehead. She immediately digs into one of her bags, bringing out a water bottle from which she takes a couple of deep gulps before swiping her tongue over her bottom lip,

Excuse me Mr. Abrams? My name is Connie Cooper, and I represent 'Fusion life Illustrated' magazine for the modern American woman, I was hoping I might have a few words with you about the finale of your most popular TV show, and take a couple of photos of the leading man… erm... I mean cast a-and yourself of course?"

Artie looks up at the voice, trying to focus his blurry blue eyes, and pushing his glasses back on his nose a little, straightens his body in his chair and throws his hands out sideways in a sort of wave action that Finn knows means she has his full attention, and in his version of dude/street speak says

"Hola`… of course doll anything for such a hott babe, bouncy, bouncy, bouncy…, but can I just go on record as saying that my little show would never have gotten off the ground without my bro here, the one and only Finny D, so why don't you start with him."

Finn notices Connie's face immediately light up at Artie's suggestion as she runs her hands through her hair and quickly digs into her jacket pocket for her lipstick, smearing it over her lips and doing that weird thing that women do by rubbing their lips together. Before she moves closer to him one hand undoing the buttons on her blouse, (he secretly thinks that she looks like a fish when doing that, not sexy like his lady love) and irritably snapping her fingers at her assistant to pass her a microphone and hissing at her to make sure she takes lots of closeups of himself and her.

Finn is trying to move away and give Artie the spotlight coz he has always said that actors are only reading lines and putting into practice what is written on their scripts, something his wife has always disputed, staunchly telling him that it is the actors own way of delivering those words, and putting their own spin on them that make or break a show, and his charismatic, humble and super handsome sexy self, added a very special something to the role and everything else he has done over the years making it that much more special for the viewers, and it is no wonder he has been the winner of the people's choice and various other awards consistently for the past 20 odd years, and because she has always believed in him it was time he believed it too.

"Well Ok", he says looking around to see where his wife is, he loves the fact that no one besides his closest friends and family know, he has been very happily married to for years, and raised a family with, his one true love, something they are both very proud of. They had decided tonight as a parting gift to his legions of fans to tell the world that they are together, (he supposes some people must have twigged that he has had a lady friend, they have never hidden the fact but at the same time he supposes people see and believe what they want to).

From his periphery, he sees her just behind him, her small hand clasping a flute of her favorite pink champagne, her dark chocolate eyes focused on him and a soft tender but at the same time proud smile gracing her plump pink lips, as their eyes connect she raises one perfectly shaped eyebrow, sends him a cheeky wink and blows him a kiss, which like the goofball he is around her, catches and tucks into his left breast pocket of his jacket.

"If I may call you Finn?"

Hearing his name and feeling pressure on his forearm, Finn is reminded of the business at hand, he takes a mouthful of his drink, looks at the woman in front of him and says "What? Oh, yeah, yeah sorry I was distracted, what do you want to know?"

Moving closer to him so there was only a few inches between them Connie speaks, a definite feline purr in her tone, her breasts falling out of their blouse and nearly into Finn's glass, thus forcing him to take a step back, and as he does he bumps against a table of champagne filled glasses causing them to rattle precariously.

Licking her lips again and moving even closer leaving the tall man no room to move she says, "Thank you, Finn, well I'm sure many of my readers already know how talented and sexy you are myself included, ha, ha. Personally I've been in love with your Casey Richards since the pilot episode, but if you don't mind, I'd like to go back a bit farther and find out who or what made you decide to pursue acting, and what do you think makes you so loved and popular with the ladies, as your attraction and confidence seems so natural, and I've heard that when the news of your leaving the show was made public, women country wide were sending letters of protest trying to organise a petition to get you to stay. At the same time threatening to boycott the TV station if they didn't extend your show for another season, as well as demanding they rewrite your character Casey, so he didn't leave and move to Australia and become a crocodile farmer, I'd imagine it would be hard job to milk a crocodile ha, ha..."

Looking at her with a raised eyebrow Finn shakes his head at the image that suddenly jumped into his brain of an overall and checked shirt clad man wearing a straw hat and chewing on a wheat stalk, sitting beside a crocodile with a metal bucket, like one would do with a cow. Finn was lost for a minute on working out the logistics of said action. Till Connie raises her voice slightly and pats his forearm which brings him back to the now. He sends her a small smile looking at his wife who just winks at him

"You are such a sexy handsome hunk of man, and are never featured in the gossip magazines, soooo… I guess the million-dollar question on the lips of the women not only in America but world-wide is… are you single and looking for a lover to rock your world…?"

A soft smiling Finn, about to answer suddenly chokes on his drink at the last question and the forward way Connie's left hand has wrapped around and is squeezing his bicep, and not so subtle wink of her green eye…

"Oh, dear me Mr. Hudson are you alright?"

"Cough, cough, yes I think so thankyou baby…"

Rubbing his back with a tiny hand, her tone worried, Finn's wife grabs a glass of water from the table behind her and offers it to him, continuing to pat his back until his coughing fit has passed. The looks on the faces of the people around them in total shock at the intimate goings on and the way Finn called the woman who has been his PA for years 'baby'.

Causing the many photographers to go crazy all hoping to get their stuff on the news-stands first. Once he has recovered Finn presses his lips against hers, then turns to the crowd.

Rubbing his left hand over his face, his wedding band showing clearly, he says with humility and without conceit, "You all wanted to know the secret behind my success with the ladies and the reason I decided on acting as a career, and why Finn and Casey have been on the list of most popular baby names for the past decade yes?"

A loud chorus of "Yes's" has more camera flashes and microphones shoved closer to his face.

His tone easy with humour, he smiles at them "Well I'll tell you… but first let me introduce to those who don't know…"

He then takes hold of her small hand, presses a tender kiss over the shining golden bands on the third finger of her left hand, and locking his soft brown eyes on his wife's dark ones he continues in a much softer and tender love filled tone.

"Well … This stunningly beautiful woman standing next to me is… My life partner, my inspiration, my shining star, and the mother of our three beautiful children. Also the woman who has had my heart since I first laid eyes on her when I was a junior in high school, even though I was too scared and shy to actually talk to her until a year later, but I am so very thankful she took a chance on me, and asked me to our high school's Sadie Hawkins dance in our senior year, making me finally realize that after years of trying to talk to, the wrong type of girl, I'd finally found one who wanted to actually listen and talk to me with no hidden agendas or the predisposition to be a world class wrestler, or convoluted plans to rile her Father up, coz he thought a guy who played in a band instead of a sports team was a wus, and no good for his daughter to date, or even the alternative life-styler who was my first introduction to the world of free love, and grass cookies…

The laughter and noises of interest from the assembled press folks, and blinding camera flashes was getting to an ear- splitting level, so to get some quiet Finn holds up his hands to shush the crowd as he tries to continue

"If you can wait another couple of weeks all will be explained, so keep a look out at your nearest book-store for my next project, 'How do you talk to girls!' which I have to say was a lot of fun to write and I cringe Everytime I think about the me I used to be. But in all honesty, I owe mega thanks to my Beta, editor, PA extraordinaire, my soul mate, my love, the one and only… well not really the only coz you know my mom is Mrs. Hudson too, and my nana…but this one is MY Mrs. Hudson…"

A/N: Well what do you think? Please review and let me know if I should continue.

Thanks for reading.