Chapter 1: Out

A/N: This is my first-ever fic for Scandal, and it has been a wild and crazy ride. I have loved this show for a while now, but in the process of re-watching Seasons 1-5 so I could properly binge-watch Season 6 on Netflix, I had this sudden compulsion to create a lovely AU universe mid-season 5 in which Olivia does not have an abortion, the team comes back together full force, and shenanigans ensue. Thus, this fic was born.

Please note that this is no way signifies a problem with Olivia's right to choose, and I applaud Shonda's decision to tackle something so bold in a primetime show (even if, personally, it gutted me to watch). I also think that, in terms of characterization, this was absolutely a choice that made sense for Olivia, given her deep-seated issues with family and parenthood in general. If Eli and Maya Pope were my parents, I'd be screwed up about kids too. However, even though it wouldn't have worked with the timeline of the show, I also think that Olivia running away to deal with the problem is a logical choice.

I hope you enjoy this, and that you find it more or less in character. This fic is just as much about Olivia's relationship with her team as it is about her relationship with Fitz. Although she loves Fitz passionately (and yes, they are my OTP, always), she loves her team just as fiercely. It's part of what makes her so incredibly amazing.

Final note, because this is getting absurdly long-I picked the title "Fall Apart" for a number of reasons. Firstly, because that's exactly what's happening with Fitz and Olivia during Season 5, despite their best intentions. Secondly, because that's what they tend to do without each other (poor babies can't be happy, ever). Thirdly, because I was listening to the soundtrack of Hamilton for the jillionth time, and the lyrics to "Dear Theodosia" popped into my head all of a sudden:

"When you smile, I fall apart
And I thought I was so smart..."

So, kudos to Lin-Manuel for being the beautiful genius that he is, and thanks for all the baby feels. Here goes!

She's sitting on the edge of the bed, turning the little plastic strip over and over in her hands. The reality of it keeps battering at the edges of her brain, searching for a point of entry, and she realizes that she has curled into herself as if the danger is here in the room, in front of her. It can't be happening, can't be happening to her, it's not possible, how could she-?

She doesn't know how long she sits there, how long she stares at those two lines that have abruptly, inexplicably changed her entire life. It seems impossible, for something so tiny to have such an enormous impact. At one point she wonders what she'll do if he comes back from his meeting early, catches her here with the damning evidence still in her hands. She doesn't move, though. Not yet.

Finally, she hears her phone buzz in the other room, a text message coming through, and that's what snaps her out of it. Quickly, numbly, she gets up and grabs a suitcase from her closet. She's in the middle of neatly rolling a camisole when she realizes that it will easier if she has backup. Slowly, she picks up the phone by their bedside.

"Abby?" she says quietly into the receiver. "Abby, I know things are...things are…" she trails off on a sigh. "But...I need you. Here. Now."

It's time to run.

Abby's the one who arranges everything, who slips her luggage past the Secret Service agents, who calls Huck and Quinn and sets the plan in motion. Olivia just packs, packs with clinical neatness, shoes and suits and blouses rolled and folded and slipped into garment bags. She leaves a few things, the ones she doesn't have room for. She refuses to think of Fitz staring into the near-empty closet, looking at the rubble of their attempt to make a life together. She refuses to think at all, just moves like an automaton. It's easier that way.

She's gone within two hours (such a short amount of time to tear down everything she's created), walks out past the guards arm in arm with Abby, smiles brightly, all teeth and sparkle, laughs a little as they talk of lunch plans and the possibility of mimosas in the middle of the day. They don't drop the facade until they're in the car, Huck at the wheel, and she drops into the seat boneless-no fight left in her. She doesn't ask where they're going.

Abby rides with them to the airport, waits until the car stops on the tarmac beside the private plane that Huck and Quinn somehow managed to find within a two-hour time frame, and then she takes Olivia's face in her hands and holds it, thumbs stroking over her cheekbones. Olivia stares into her eyes, her friend who has just moved heaven and earth for her, and wishes she could cry.

"Are you sure this is what you want, Liv?" she asks, and Olivia nods dumbly.

"All right," Abby says, doubt leaching into her voice. Then she visibly straightens her spine, nods once, all business. "All right. What do you want me to tell him?"

"Tell him you don't know where I am," and her voice is so raw, she almost doesn't recognize it. "Tell him I slipped out on my own, that I called you from the airport and said I had to go, that I couldn't do this anymore. Don't let him know you were part of this."

Abby nods again, eyes suspiciously bright, and then pulls Liv into a tight hug.

"Call me," she orders. "Tell me what colour onesies I should buy."

Liv swallows hard around the lump in her throat and whispers, "Okay."

And then it's time, time to step onto the plane that will take her into the unknown, all the baggage loaded, and Huck leads and Quinn follows and she is not alone. Thank God, she is not alone.

As they're taking off, she keeps looking at her phone. He hasn't called.