A/N: Hello everyone! I'm quite new to this, so kind criticism is welcome. I hope it's not too bad.

***I do not own these characters.

***Sakura is in her thirties. She is not underage in this fanfic.

Chapter 1: Drowning

Not tonight, Sakura. I'm tired.

The sound of running water filled her ears.

Sasuke-kun, I'll miss you. Before you go, can we-

Her skin was submerged in cold flowing water.

Sakura, I need my energy for this mission.

Staring blankly ahead of her, she allowed her mind to be consumed by their exchange, or lack thereof, from the previous night.

All she wanted was to show her husband affection-intimate affection-before he left for his mission. Because she didn't know when she would see him again, the longing to feel her husband's love for her was immediate. She needed it, as she did every time, and as usual, Sasuke wouldn't fulfill that desire.

When this happened, Sakura would typically lay on her back with the gravity of defeat and rejection weighing her down, pulling her burning tears down each side of her face and pooling in the hollow of her ears.

She would feel an immense emptiness - the same emptiness that devoured her in their younger years; the same emptiness she felt each time she encountered him out on the field; the same emptiness she felt when he would refuse her as a travel companion; the same emptiness that amplified her turmoil when he would refuse to come home.

As she curled up in bed beside her distant husband, she would try her best to contain her uncontrollable shaking - her pain manifesting in the only kind of release her body could find. She would succumb to the hollow feeling in her chest, and it would become unbearably worse the moment she heard Sasuke's light breathing grow heavier.

She would wonder if he even cared about her feelings. And if he did, she wondered how he could pretend as though he didn't know his rejection hurt her-even sleep knowing it! Each time she attempted to become intimate, the routine was almost by the textbook. It had been this way for a while, particularly after the birth of Sarada, and each time it happened, she would inwardly ask herself, Do I deserve this?

Suddenly, the water overflowed and spilled onto her feet.

"Mama," said a young voice, cutting through her thoughts. "Are you alright? The sink is overflowing."

As soon as her daughter asked this question, her father came down the stairs.

Sakura quickly shut off the water and pulled the drain plug.

"Ah, yes," she replied with haste. "I'm alright. I was just carried away in thought, that's all."

Forcing a smile, she turned away from the sink and towards her family. Sarada was sitting at the table holding her little video game console, pausing for a moment to assess her mother, and Sasuke stood at the base of the stairs staring quizzically at his wife.

For a moment, he tilted his head, allowing his black hair to fall completely over his rinnegan, but soon centered his head again, realizing the nature of his wife's claim.

"Are you all packed and ready to go?" she asked Sasuke in a forcibly concerned tone. She walked away from the sink to approach him, deciding that the dishes could wait.

"Mostly," he responded curtly. "Can you help me upstairs? I can't seem to find some of my things."

Sakura noticed his eye flicker towards their daughter, who methodically resumed her game at full volume when Sasuke had posed the question. She nodded, knowing the he was looking for his special kunai, one that Sarada had wrapped a braided red and purple tassel around which she made in school for him, and headed upstairs with Sasuke following behind her.

Once they were in their bedroom and the door clicked behind them, Sasuke spoke, "She did this last time. Why is she hiding things from me?"

Sakura walked towards the window and leaned on the frame, body turned slightly toward the street view outside.

"Why do you think, Sasuke?"

Sasuke gave a little scoff as a reply, as if to suggest he was saying, You too, huh? "I won't be long."

She chuckled and asked, "What exactly is your definition of long? A few years? Months?"

He didn't answer. He simply stared at her, no emotion registering on his face, and began to approach her by the window.

"Maybe she hides your things because she just wants her father to stick around, or at least show that he cares."

Once he was standing directly in front of her at the window, he slipped his arm around her waist and said, "I care."

The admission was still as nonchalant as ever, but Sakura knew that she would never get anything much more than a few simple statements here and there. To give some semblance of disapproval, Sakura lightly tried wiggling away from his touch, but she knew it was all an act.

"Sakura…" he cooed, tightening his embrace upon her movement.

She knew she could really stop him if she really wanted to. The truth was that she yearned for his embrace and she was sure he was aware of that truth.

He dropped his chin onto the top of her hair. Sakura knew him well enough to know that he was trying to say, Don't let me leave like this.

She slipped her arms underneath his cape and nuzzled her cheek onto his purple vest.

"I know," she admitted, partially believing it herself. "We'd just really like it if you'd show it to us more."

He didn't move and so Sakura continued.

"In some ways, she's just like you. I know you see a fiery little me most of the time, but she doesn't quite understand how to deal with your absence. When you were gone, she didn't know you. Now you're here, and all she wants is a steady relationship with her father."

Sakura looked up at him, "She's quiet when you leave… Causing bits of mischief here and there, like stealing kunais."

She smiled at her husband weakly, making small fun of Sasuke's turbulent past in an attempt to make him understand.

He lowered his head, pressing his nose and cheek on her forehead. These were the small bits of affection that she knew she would have to settle for. He'd never been a particularly affectionate person, but he was the man she'd loved since childhood. At least, that's how she would justify it.

"Should I just leave the kunai with her?" he asked.

Sakura chuckled and shook her head, "You really don't understand women, do you Sasuke-kun? She wants you to ask for it. Letting her keep it is a mistake."

He released her then, turning his body to imply that he'd like to head downstairs. She walked ahead of him through the hallway and let him pass before heading down the stairs.

When they arrived in the kitchen, Sarada sat playing her game, but the kunai had materialized on the dining table next to her.

"I found your stupid kunai, papa." Sasuke approached her, crouching beside her before taking the kunai in his hand and running his thumb over the tassel.

"Thank you."

She did not respond. Sasuke stored the kunai in his pouch, and reached out for his daughter's face. He brushed her hair behind her ear and gently swiped a thumb over her cheek.

Surprised and blushing at this unusual contact, she turned and asked, "W-what are you doing?"

Sasuke held her chin as he looked at her in confidence.

"Showing I care."

He glanced toward his wife with a smirk on his face before returning his eyes toward Sarada.

With eyes wide, her frowning mouth morphed into a grin, realizing that this was more affection than her father would normally give.

His hand dropped down to her wrist, where she wore a braided bracelet that was similar to the tassel she made for her father.

"Purple for rinnegan?" he asked.

"Red for the sharingan!" she chirped back excitedly, dropping her moody tone.

And with that, Sasuke rose tapping her forehead to say until next time. He then walked to Sakura, who was also warm inside from witnessing that exchange between father and daughter, and gave her the same loving tap.

She gave a genuine but soft smile, caressing his hand before letting him go.

He walked away then, heading towards the door and letting it shut behind him.

Silence then filled the room, the same as the sound of running water did when she was washing the dishes. She glanced at her daughter, whose happy expression faded, and was staring blankly at her paused video game the way Sakura had done with the dishes.

Sakura's eyes then returned to the door, hoping that he would walk back through it and announce that his mission was cancelled. And when he didn't, that same feeling of emptiness radiated throughout her chest, and her tears spilled over the edge in the same way that she allowed the sink water to overflow.