Author's Note: I've been playing Mario games since he was "Jumpman" in Donkey Kong, so there's a lot of info from the games, books, toys, and anything else Nintendo makes with him. I understand the Super Mario Movie and cartoons are not canon, but I do use some of the cartoon lore in here for filler info. Also, according to Shigeru Miyamoto, Mario's creator, Mario is 5'1'' and 25 years old, such info I have used to make more sense of less profiled characters. So knowing this, please don't freak out about certain characters being so-so feet tall and so-so years old. I mean, if that stuff freaks you out then, spoiler alert, Mario is not a plumber anymore and I will make note of it in the story. Timeline wise, I'm placing this before the Mario + Rabbids: Kingdom Battle, Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga + Bowser's Minions, Super Mario Odyssey, and Mario Party: The Top 100 games, those I have yet to properly think of ways to intergrade into this story, plus most of those games haven't even been released yet. But enough of me rambling, you want to lose yourself in a story, so here it is. Enjoy. ^_^

In a land far beyond human imagination, lies a magical place called the Mushroom Kingdom. The Mushroom Kingdom is always sunny, and food is plentiful year round. The Kingdom was ruled by the gentle and peace-loving Mushroom King and his daughter, Princess Toadstool. The Mushroom people were living peacefully, and all was bliss.

Then one dark day a tribe of evil turtles named 'Koopa' led by the tyrannical King Bowser invaded the tranquil Kingdom. There was a terrible war. The Mushroom people fought courageously but were no match for the vicious turtles. They were easily defeated by the Turtle Tribe, and horrible Bowser's black magic turned all the Mushroom people into stones, bricks and even horsehair plants.

Princess Toadstool, the only one with the power to free the Kingdom from the evil of Bowser, was captured and exiled to a deep dungeon in a faraway castle. Mario, a man of courage and determination, heard of the awful fate of the Mushroom people. He decided to save the fair Princess and free the citizens of the Mushroom Kingdom from the evil control of Bowser.

This is where legend ends, and history begins. After traveling through various parts of the kingdom and fighting Bowser's forces along the way, Mario finally reaches Bowser's final stronghold, where he is able to defeat him and send him falling into a pool of lava, allowing the princess to be freed and the Mushroom Kingdom saved. A happy ending all around...well...maybe not.

There are many kingdoms in this world I live in. I think around 60 last I checked. The one I reside in is famous but for a stupid reason...Our Princess keeps getting abducted like a freaking moron!

The Mushroom Kingdom is one of the largest kingdoms and is under the rule of Mushroom King and his daughter, Princess Peach Toadstool. The Mushroom Kingdom is known to change its landscape, not keeping the same formation from one year to another. Despite this, the kingdom is comprised of many similar recurring landscapes, such as plains, deserts, islands, forests, mountains, snowy areas and volcanoes.

But despite this, the kingdom prospers. The people seem blissfully happy. The Mushroom Kingdom's population is very vast, consisting of hundreds of species. Most prevalent are Toads, Koopas, Goombas, Yoshies, Boos and so much more. Even though Princess Peach, and the heroic Mario Brothers who also live here, are human, there are very few humans living in the Mushroom Kingdom...Me being one of the few.

The Mushroom Kingdom is a monarchy ruled by Princess Peach. The kingdom's capital is Toad Town. Here, Princess Peach resides in her fancy swanky castle. The Early material also includes her father, the kindly Mushroom King, who is mentioned to rule alongside her. However, he does not seem to perform any administrative functions anymore, and his presence is largely forgotten by most.

Princess Peach, the 6'1'' tall princess of Mushroom Kingdom and professional damsel-in-distress. She resides in her castle along with many Toads, who act as her loyal servants. Her kingdom is often attacked by the Koopa Troop, a group led by Bowser. She is the love interest of the hero Mario. Peach has an affinity for the color pink, which accents her feminine personality and kind temperament. Peach's feminine nature and role as the damsel are often represented with her heart abilities and Princess emblems, yet she is stubborn, yet cute, in appearance. But that's just what I hear guys say.

Princess Peach keeps a hoard of Toad guards at her castle, not like they're all that helpful in keeping her from being taken like, every freaking month! However, Mario, Luigi, and many other heroes of the Mushroom Kingdom have fought to save it and its princess countless times before...I'm honestly surprised no one has just let her go because clearly she never learns to lock her castle up!

Mario is the 5'1'' tall hero of the Mushroom Kingdom, his trademark abilities have been his jumping and stomping powers, with which he defeats most of his enemies; and his ability to gain powers with a plethora of items, such as the Super Mushroom, Fire Flower, and the Super Star. Mario is often seen as a silent man without a distinct personality, this allows Mario to fit in many different areas and roles. He is the hero that goes on an adventure to save Princess Peach from Bowser, but he has been shown doing many other activities besides adventuring, such as racing and sporting with his younger twin brother and others.

Luigi is Mario's younger taller 5'9'' twin brother and is also a hero to the Mushroom Kingdom. Throughout his life, he has lived in Mario's shadow, developing both cowardly and heroic tendencies. Despite this, Luigi has helped and fought alongside his brother on many occasions. Since the Princess mostly calls on Mario for help, Luigi has gained his own identity and personality. This is especially noticeable in writes of his solo adventures.

Currently, Princess Peach staffs and supports Toad Houses in major towns near Toad Town. Which is why I live away from there in Petal Meadows. I want nothing to do with matters of the crown. It's bad enough my mind has me constantly with my nose in a book, feed my brain with knowledge of the kingdom and others, but being human in a low human area makes me stick out like a zebra among fish.

I just want to live out my days in peaceful isolation. Away from the zaniness of the world. Away from the greed of the coin. Away from the wars for territories. I'm fine with my mundane life. I'm fine with the cool breeze filling my life with the soft smell of fresh flowers every time I wake. I'm fine with the white noise of the night lulling me to sleep. My life is as dull as it can be in this world. But I am happy.

Yet...All of this peace in my life is missing something.

And I had no clue what it was till something crazy happened one odd day.

Today the wind is still. The scent of flowers is missing. And I am irritable as I am out of food.

"Great. Guess it's that time of the month again. *sighs* Time to go grocery shopping."

This means I have to head into Toad Town, which I'm not a fan of doing. Goombas and Flying Goombas always give me looks or try to attack me. Really makes me consider moving to another kingdom to stop dealing with this kind of crap. You'd think since the royal family is human and the 'heroes' are human, the damn people around them would be more okay with seeing other humans.

I should be near the town now. It doesn't take long once I can get to the right warp pipe, 20 minutes tops on a good day. It takes about three to four warps to get to town, not too crazy as long as you don't forget which pipe goes where, but it beats walking the entire way. Now that would be nuts!

I pop up at the edge of the woods just outside of town and I'm already exhausted from having to defend myself.

"I bet humans would get more respect if the princess wasn't so stupid. 'Oh look at me, I'm Princess Peach. I like the color pink and all I do is bake cakes for Mario. I'm too spoiled to learn from anything that's happened to me or maybe I would have more guards. Or learn how to lock my doors. Ooh, la la. I'm so pretty. I'm set for life because everyone does anything for a pretty face.' *scoffs* I'd attack me too if I were them. This land is a joke."

I'm just about to enter the town.

"Hey, Princess!"

I pause and look around. Is Peach or some other royal chick nearby?

"Get her!"

Before I can even register what the hell is going on, a red shell hits me into the bushes away from town.

"Ow..."

I'm going to be feeling that later, but for now I'm blacking out as a sack smothers me.

"Score! I can't believe we got the Princess on our first day."

"The King will be so pleased. I bet we get promotions for sure."

"Yeah. Let's get going."

I feel movement as all goes dark.

[Sometime later]

Loud metal clanging stirs me from unconsciousness. My side and head throbbing from pain. All in all...I am not a happy girl right now. Even more so, I see I'm still bagged in a sack. As soon as these would be abductors come to a stop, I'm going to unleash a very relentless hurt on them.

"Where have you two been?! You were supposed to be on guard duty! The King will have your shells for this!"

"Forgiveness sir. But we think he'll be happy once he sees what we got.

"Please...Last fools who brought the Koopa King a large bag were set ablaze."

Koopa King? Oh crap, I know where I am now. This is not good. I've been brought to the Koopa Kingdom. The Dark Lands. The main home to the Koopa people. Koopas are a race of turtle-like creatures. There are many different types of Koopas, the best-known of which are the Koopa Troopas.

Koopa Troopas are tortoise-like creatures with removable shells. In general, they have basic appearances compared to other Koopa species. They have elliptical beady eyes, large beak or bill-like mouths, short limbs and large heads. Their hands have four, pointed/triangular shaped digits and have three pointed toes on their flat-soled feet, which unlike other Koopa species, have no pads at all. Most Koopas are quadrupedal (walking on four legs), have flatter noses and detailed leg joints. They have since evolved to now stand on two legs, have more rounded noses and wear shoes with beige soles that often match the color of the shells they wear. Having beaks, Koopas Troopas have no teeth compared to other species. Koopa Troopas generally have yellow to orange scales. Some Koopas can have green, peach and even turquoise scales. A Koopa Troopa's shell consists of a carapace with colored, hexagon-shaped scutes in a pattern on the top, with smaller, triangular ones at the edges, with dark flesh underneath that appear as "grooves"; a beige colored plaston with several "ribs" on its surface and six holes on it where the Koopa's head, arms, legs and tail emerge from; all joined by a white bridge that follows along the perimeter of the shell and rises at the spots where the Koopa's head and tail are. Despite having large heads, Koopa Troopas can pull them into their shells with little effort. Underneath their shells, they wear white undershirts and wear pink or blue shorts respectively, and have round bodies.

Most Koopas seem to operate in a hierarchy-based grouping system. King Koopa Bowser is the leader of the Koopa Troop, which has invaded the Mushroom Kingdom many times and has control over most of the Koopas in the world. Many of these same Koopas are members of the Koopa Troop and have different tasks in the organization based on the abilities of their particular class. For example, Koopa Troopas tend to be assigned as basic foot soldiers alongside Goombas due to their lack of special abilities, while Magikoopas are often given advisory roles due to their magical abilities and gift of foresight.

However, not all Koopas are allied with Bowser. Some Koopas, such as the Koopa Troopas of Koopa Village, live peacefully inside the borders of the Mushroom Kingdom, while others, such as Koopa the Quick, simply hold no allegiance and operate independently.

"But sir Kamek, we bring the Princess."

There's silence.

"You two managed to capture Princess Peach?"

"Yes, sir. We found her at Toad Town."

"That...sounds likely. Very well. Go. Bring her to the King at once."

"Yes, sir!"

The bag containing me is dragged further into what I bet is a castle based on the stone I feel under me. Though that hard feeling is replaced with a softness that doesn't last long for the movement stops again and a deep low growl has me worried.

"What do you two want?"

Such a rumble...very predatory and intimidating.

"*gulp* Y-Your scaliness...We have...uh..."

"Spit it out!"

"We caught Princess Peach sir!"

Wow, they are really scared...I should be too, yet all I am is worried...The heck is wrong with me?

"Really?"

The King sounds happy...That'll change as soon as they show me and not Peach.

There's a harsh shake of the ground as I assume the King bounds towards the bag. An almost giddy delight comes from him as he opens the bag and I come face to face with the King of the Koopas, Bowser. And any joy he had dies upon seeing me.

Bowser is a huge 8'7'' tall burly green-shelled Koopa with spikes, horns, and hair. His bushy eyebrows and mane are fittingly a bright fiery red-orange and he has bright ember red eyes. He sports two small horns on the sides of his head like a demon, many spikes on his shell similar to a Spiny with brown-orange spike-rings, as well as along his tail minus the spike-rings. He wears several spiked collars around his neck and arms. He has three claws on each of his massive padded feet, which support his impressive girth. He has three claw-tipped fingers and a thumb on each hand, and his arms are noticeably burly, indicating his vast physical strength. While his face and his shell are green, his underbelly and snout are beige colored almost closer to tan or even yellow, and his tail and limbs are an orange-tinged yellow.

Bowser's appearance is almost like a combination of the many species of Koopa, including Koopa Troopas, Spinies, and Hammer Bros all put together. But he is nothing like them or anything else that has graced this world. He is the King of Koopas, he has no equal, and he is to be respected as such.

"Is this a joke?"

He drops the sack and I am fully revealed, much to the confusion of the two kidnapping Koopa Troopas.

"Sir?"

"What's wrong?"

"This is not Peach!"

They tremble.

"But...She's human."

"And she responded when we called her name."

"To be fair..."

I don't know why I speak up, but I do.

"I thought you were calling out to a 'Princess' and not me directly. I was going to move out of the way as is the custom and polite thing to do."

The King snarls with building annoyance and picks me up by the scruff of my neck.

"You two idiots thought this...this girl...was Princess Peach?! She looks nothing like her! Peach is a fair-skinned woman with an average build. She has a soft oval face with large blue eyes framed by multiple lashes and thin, dark blonde eyebrows. She has long flowing golden-blonde hair with both V-shaped and fringed bangs, and a single two thin locks framing her face. Peach also wears a floor-length pink gown with puffy sleeves, a high collar, deep pink panniers at the waist and a ruffle of the same color at the hem. The dress has a sapphire brooch, set in gold on Peach's chest, and she wears round earrings of the same color. Her crown is golden with four jewels: two rubies and two sapphires. She wears white evening gloves beyond elbow-length, deep pink high heels, and has a white petticoat under her gown. Now knowing all that...Does this girl look like the woman I just described to you?!"

I feel annoyed by his tone. Sure I'm not the pretty Princess he wanted, but I ain't no gutter trash.

I'm a pale-skinned woman with an average build and stand at 5'8'' tall. I have a slightly rounded face with hazel-green eyes surrounded by light blue baggy rings with each eye having two thick lashes on the side. I have really long flowing brown hair that I wear tied up in a ponytail that reaches my mid-back. I dress in a simple black t-shirt top and blue jeans with worn faded white sneakers. Two surgical stainless steel captive earrings in each earlobe complete my look.

I am ordinary, not a Princess, but I am me and I like myself.

"Honestly sir...N-No...?"

"We really didn't know what she looked like when we left."

The King of Koopas shoots them a fiery glare.

"Get out before I throw you two into the lava to feed the Magmaargh...NOW!"

The Troopas flee clumsily, crashing into each other and things before leaving the room.

"*sighs* I'm surrounded by morons."

"Tell me about it..."

King Bowser looks at me funny, seemingly forgetting he was holding me or that I was here anyway.

"I honestly have no clue how you haven't taken over the Mushroom Kingdom by now. The land is full of brain-dead dolts that are ruled by a ditzy royal that can't take care of herself. Heh...Mario can't be that big of a threat to you, can he?"

I regret saying anything. His death glare now on me, smoke leaks from his nostrils as cinders pepper the corners of his mouth.

"What did you just call my Peach?"

Okay, I need to be extremely cautious now, I don't want to die.

"I mean...Speaking as a lowly commoner, one who knows not the Princess on a personal level, as one such as you yourself of course does. I merely meant that those around her do not paint her in a very bright light, so to speak."

His eyes narrow, the fire in his throat subsides but the anger is still there.

"You talk like her. Using big pretty words. So let me put this in a way that even you will understand. *growls* Princess Peach is classy, kind, clever, sociable and adventurous. She has a warm heart and often acts unselfishly, putting her friends, loved ones and citizens ahead of herself, and apologizes excessively for getting into trouble and requiring Mario to rescue her. She even shows concern and compassion towards her enemies. She even often acts as a peacemaker when my Koopas fight in front of her. While gentle by nature, Peach is also strong-willed and can hold her own in sports competitions and battle provided she is not already being held captive by yours truly."

He has such a proud voice about that and I can't help but giggle at it, which seems to smooth him over a bit as he continues.

"But while Peach is often considered the archetypal damsel in distress when it comes to this, she is often showed to be actively working against her captors, such as sneaking around searching for power-ups and/or information to send to Mario."

"You allow her the ability to move around your home freely even though she is your captive?"

The realization comes from having that part pointed out to him and he blushes faintly while clearing his throat.

"*ahem* Be that as it may...While she occasionally seems naïve, she is generally level-headed and expresses more common sense than those around her, such as noticing a doppelganger in the Isle Delfino vacation guide video's background, or insisting that an emergency meeting continues even after it is briefly interrupted by me, and talking me into joining her and Mario to stop some other loser from taking over what is rightfully mine. She is a motherly figure to the young Yoshi and Oogtar, she is practical and generous to a fault, such as trying to convince the Mario Bros to return home despite the fact that she is still under the threat of *cough* me. She also has a feisty side, which shines through particularly well in certain moments. Besides sports, Peach is also into ballroom dancing, video games, and gardening, and seems to enjoy exploring and trying new things. Now does that sound like a ditz to you?"

I hang my head in shame.

"No, sir. I am sorry my words were so callous. Please accept my dearest of apologies."

He regards me for a moment, giving thought before smirking.

"No."

I am confused.

"No?"

"I will not accept an apology of words from someone who knows how to use them as well as you do. No...If you are truly sorry, you'll have to earn my forgiveness. And your freedom."

He drops me and I stumble upon landing.

"Wait...What do you mean my freedom? I'm not the Princess, I'm no form of royalty what so ever. I hold no value to you. Heck, as much of a hero those plumber brothers are, I doubt they'll even bother showing up here to rescue some peasant girl. Why not just let me go? All I'll do is take up space here."

He chuckles and turns his back to me, heading back to his massive spiked stone throne.

"While that's true, you can still earn my forgiveness as well as adding some tiny speck of value to your sad little self."

I fain a hit.

"Oh ow, my poor self-worth pride. You strike me so cruelly, oh master of turtles."

That makes him stop and stare at me.

"What?"

"You heard me. Or do your horns deafen your ears?"

To that he snickers and I internally question why I'm suddenly so bold around him.

"Cheeky little spitfire you are. I like that. You'll need that sort of spirit for living here."

He plops himself down on his throne in a relaxed pose, slightly laying in it with a leg over an armrest.

"I'm not living here."

"Yes, you are."

"Make me."

"I already am."

"I'll run."

"Where to? I doubt you know the lay of the Koopa Kingdom lands as well as my people or I do."

"I'll find a warp pipe. Or a warp whistle. Or even some sort of power-up that allows flight, but I will flee."

"And I will stop you."

I glare as he smirks.

"You're just eating this up, aren't you?"

"Like it was my favorite meal. Now be a good girl and accept your fate. I have a job for you to do."

I fold my arms and slowly lurch my way over to a decent closeness from his lazy self.

"And what pray tell would that be, oh King Koopa?"

"Heh heh...I want you to take care of my boy, Bowser Jr."

I'm dead-panned.

"I don't deal with children."

"The way I see it, neither of us have much of a choice. His last caretaker literally jumped out a window to get away and as much as I do want to, I can't spend all my time with him."

"How far did they make it out the window?"

"Not far enough."

"Heh...Nice."

"Here's the deal. You take care of Jr. for a month, or till a better replacement is found, and I'll consider it as your apology for speaking ill of my Peach. Refuse or do anything that will make me or my son upset, and I'll feed you to my Chain Chomp. Understand?"

I sigh and glare daggers away from him, not wanting such a hateful look to kick things off.

"Fine. Your Princess may be in another castle, but it seems you've gotten yourself a new caretaker...My King."

He takes pleasure in my displeasure of this whole thing. I'm not meant to be here, we both know it. I'm not the girl he was hoping to get in his home, and yet he has managed to keep me here regardless.

"So...girl...What's your name?"

"Lynsie."

"Lynsie...Not bad. Doesn't quite roll off the tongue like Peach does, but it's what you're stuck with."

"*scoff* Whatever you say, Bowser."

"*huffs* That's King Koopa to you."

I roll my eyes at him.

"Anyway, King Koopa...Where am I to be staying if keeping me is your intention?"

He shuts his eyes in thought.

"We don't normally take in guests. The only places I can offer are the dungeon..."

"Not happening."

"Peach's room..."

"Nope!"

"Jr.'s room..."

"Next."

"The Koopalings rooms..."

"What else?"

"Well, that just leaves the staff sleeping quarters or..."

"Or?"

His eyes open with a teasing look coming to his face.

"Or...You can sleep in my chambers~."

He even adds a wink and I am unamused.

"Screw it. I pick the staff quarters..."

I spin on my heel and walk off, much to his dismay.

"Laters."

"Hey!"

"What?"

"You don't know where you're even going."

"Don't care. I'm not sticking around to hear you spout such weak heat."

"Kamek!"

The doors to the room open and an old Magikoopa on a broom enters.

The one called Kamek is wearing a pair of round spectacles and a set of blue robes, complete with a blue wizard's hat. Both the brim of his hat and the edges of his sleeves are white. He has a scepter, a golden stick with a red jewel at the end; tucked just under his robes. His broom is a stereotypical straw-colored broom with no particular quirks about its appearance. He has legs buts it's a feature not seen because of the robes. Kamek's skin, like all Magikoopas and most other Koopa species, is yellow. Despite being very old, he shows no physical signs of his age, looking very similar to the present as he did in the past...I only know this because it is known in books that Kamek has been with Bowser since the King's childhood. Like other Magikoopas, it is not clear whether Kamek has a shell. Kamek does have a small hunch on his back which might be a shell, however, he is never seen ducking into a shell to protect himself when attacked, and neither Kamek nor any other Magikoopa has been seen losing their hypothetical shell like many other members of the Koopa troop, including Bowser himself, do at some point.

"You yelled your cantankerousness?"

"Lynsie is going to be staying with us as Jr.'s new caretaker."

The old Koopa eyes me.

"Really?"

"I'm being forced."

"Ah, now it makes sense. So why call me?"

"She needs escorting to her new accommodations."

"Peach's room?"

"Heck no!"

Surprisingly both Bowser and I shout that.

"I'm crashing with the staff, thank you very much."

"Huh...Odd girl, aren't you. Fine with me. Come along, I don't have all day."

"*mutters* Yeah you might die of old age before we get there."

"What was that?!"

"I said let's go already, you old fart!"

I walk off annoyed, this whole situation getting to me and making me far from cheerful.

"...Did she really just say that?"

"Heh...Yep. She's a real spitfire that girl."

"You coming or what, old fart?!"

"Respect your elders, you brat!"

"Show her to Jr. before her bed."

Kamke nods and flies out in front of me. He guides me through the halls, earning me some odd looks from the others that pass us by. Great, without even trying, it feels like home.

"Forgive them. They're used to only seeing Peach. Other humans are rare."

"I'm used to it."

"Well...This is Jr.'s room. This is where you'll be reporting to every day."

"Understood."

The room door flies open, an old female Magikoopa flies out in a huff.

"Something wrong Kammy?"

Kammy is one of the higher ranked Magikoopas. Being so, she wears distinctive clothes to separate her from the others. She is in dark purple robes and a dark purple hat. Her hat, unlike most Magikoopas, bends backward when most Magikoopas hats stick straight up unless mounted on a broom. She has white hair down the side of her face and small oval-shaped glasses. She is also noticeably shorter than most Magikoopas and has a hunched back. Being shorter, her staff is also shorter than most Magikoopas. She is also mounted on her broom similar to Kamek's, but her broom is much bigger than herself and has a bamboo-like texture to the wood. The end of the broom has half white and purple cloud-like texture, this end piece puffs as she flies. It's kind of cute actually.

"That kid is going to be the death of me, Kamek! When is Bowser getting a new nanny for him?"

"You're looking at her."

He points at me and I shrug.

"This human is the Prince's new caretaker?"

"I'm being forced."

"Oh...Makes sense. Well, he's all yours, kid. I'm out of here!"

She flies off.

"Kammy! I wanna play!"

Bowser Koopa Jr. yells.

"Heh...Sounds like you're up, girl."

"Super."

I peek my head in the child's room and am immediately hit in the face with a big rubber ball, much to the amusement of Kamek.

"Argh! Son of a beach ball, that stings!"

I rub my nose as Kamek laughs and Jr. comes over to see who's out here.

"Who are you?"

Bowser Jr. bears a striking resemblance to the Koopa King himself if he were shrunk into a baby form that is as he's only 4'4''. He has a yellow skin tone that lacks the tan seen on his dad and most of the Koopalings, as well as a light green head, with small horns on each side each being circled with orange rings. He has small circular eyes that are black in color and lack the sclera and irises, as well as his father's fiery orange hair and eyebrows; his hair is tied up into a top-ponytail. His mouth is wide, puffy, and con-vexed with a large snout having one fang-like tooth in the upper left corner. Bowser Jr has little hands and little padded feet, which have small white claws. His shell is green, lined with a white encasing and the multiple short spikes are circled with orange rings, similar to his father's shell, while his belly is plated with four ribs. While smaller than me, appearing to be somewhere in the three to four-foot range, he is still his father's child and probably filled with a considerable amount of strength. This child is to be managed and done so with care and caution.

"Jr., this is Lynsie. She's..."

"Are you my Mama?"

Kamek chokes on air as my face burns in a deep blush and from being hit.

"Me? Mama? I..."

I can't form words anymore.

"Jr., Lynsie is going to take care of you."

"Is she going to jump too?"

"No, my Prince. She is not going to leave you."

"Yay!"

"Now, while I am to show her to her sleeping quarters, I think it wouldn't hurt if you two got to know each other better."

"Wait, what?"

"Really? Oh boy! Let's play!"

Jr. pulls me into his room and I try clawing at a snickering Kamek before he floats out of sight.

"Okay Mama, what do you want to play first?"

"How old are you kid?"

"I am fifteen."

He's so small and yet a teenager, but it makes him so cute looking!

"Awww...You're an adorable fifteen-year-old."

"Uh huh. Papa says when I grow up, I'm going to be King just like him."

"Technically true. As the sole heir, you pretty much are guaranteed the crown. But there are other ways to gain rule."

His tiny eyes widened in curiosity.

"Really? Like what?"

"Well...From my understanding when reading into the laws of the royals, there are four main ways a prince can come into power. The first way is through prowess, meaning personal skill and ability. The second is through fortune, meaning good luck or the charity of friends. The third way is through crime, such as through a coup, conspiracy, or assassination. The fourth way is constitutional, meaning through the official support of either nobles or common people."

"How does that work?"

"Let's see, how do I say it...Um...The most important comparison to be made is that between prowess and fortune. Obtaining a state through prowess is clearly more demanding than benefiting from simple good luck. But a prince gifted with his own prowess is possessed of a strong foundation to maintain that rule, whereas fortune is unpredictable and may lead as easily to a prince's deposition as it had to his rise. Thus, maintaining rule is much easier when a prince has used his own skill. Because the maintenance of rule is most important, we can conclude that prowess is a better route to become a prince of power. A second comparison might be made between criminal and constitutional means of achieving power. Here, the main point of difference is not the skill and experience of the prince but popular attitudes toward the prince. A prince who comes to power through crime runs the greatest risk because he may be forced to commit some cruelty toward his subjects, endangering himself by breeding hatred and resentment among the populace. A constitutional prince, however, comes to power with the support of either the nobles or commoners, and his job consists mainly of keeping the non-supportive group satisfied with his rule. To sum it up, prowess is to be preferred over fortune because prowess leads to a more effective ruler who is likely to garner lasting glory. Constitutional princes are preferable to criminal princes not only because they are more effective, but also because a criminal prince can achieve nothing other than power. A constitutional prince can achieve both power and glory. You being Bowser's only child, you'll become King when Bowser himself deems you ready for such a position, a constitutional route. The way of the power of prestige, the best one of the four. But do be careful young Prince, as fun as it may sound to be the one to make the rules and such, a King is not the as free or in control of things as you might think."

He sits down.

"Are you sure? Papa always seems to do what he wants."

I sit down with him.

"If you want, I can tell you what his job means and what you'll inherit one day."

"Please?! Please tell me, Mama!"

"Heh...Funny I'm starting to get used to that. But you can call me Lynsie or Lynn."

"Okay, Mama Lynn. Now please tell me more. You make learning sound interesting."

I giggle and humor the boy that will one day be king. He seems spoiled, but willing to learn and eager to understand things. In a way, he reminds me of myself in that aspect. His brain is a sponge that is wanting to soak up all the knowledge it can get. So much so that even I forget he is but a small child and I don't realize he's fallen asleep till I hear him snore.

"Okay young Prince, you win. The time for slumber is now."

Gently I scoop him into my arms, carefully maneuvering around the insanity of his toys and lay him in his bed. Compelled by such a tender sight I tuck the boy in on instinct and kiss his forehead before taking leave of his chambers. I aim to wander the halls but Kamek's chuckling gets my attention.

"I see you're still in one piece, girl."

"The kid ain't as bad as I expected. The silly boy nodded off and I tucked him."

He's shocked.

"Really?"

"Yeah. *yawn* Can I go to bed now too? I feel like I was in there for hours."

"You were."

"What?"

"At one point I thought you were dead. So I left, made myself some a snack, caught a movie, came back and found you two were talking. So I took a nap...and you were still talking when I woke up."

I just shoot him a look while yawning and he gets the idea.

"Fine, I get it. Come along oddball, your bed is waiting."

A tired smile smears my face as he flies off, leading me away like the pied piper and his broom the mystical flute that beckons me to follow blindly. I don't remember making it to the staff rooms. Nor do I recall even making it to a bed. All I do remember is a feeling of exhaustion taking me before everything goes black and I feel nothing more from the waking world as sleep becomes all I know.

Just in case there is still some questions to my logic, I'll help clear up a few things. Using the Official Nintendo chart (google super mario bros size chart and it's the first image you see) we can see how tall a lot of them are, though I had to guess height for the Koopalings based on screen images of them next to each other, plus Mario and Luigi. Now the Nintendo-approved statue poster claims it to be "life-sized", thus putting Mario's height at 155 cm (5'1"). Using that information along with this universal size chart, it's possible to estimate the height of all of the mainstays of the franchise. From shortest to tallest: a Goomba is 72 cm (2'4"); a Boo is 79 cm (2'7"); Baby Mario is 89 cm (2'11"); Baby Luigi is 90 cm (2'11"); a Shy Guy is 100 cm (3'3"); Toad, Toadette, and Toadsworth are 103 cm (3'5"); Diddy and Dixie Kong (on their knuckles) are 113 cm (3'8"); a Koopa Troopa is 120 cm (3'11"); a Dry Bones is 124 cm (4'1"); Bowser Jr. is 131 cm (4'4"); a Hammer Bro. is 142 cm (4'8"); a Bullet Bill is 148 cm (4'10") long and 96 cm (3'2") in diameter; a Wiggler is 159 cm (5'3") tall (not including the flower) and who knows how long; Wario and Birdo are 170 cm (5'7") (Birdo is 196 cm [6'5"] if you include her bow); Luigi and Yoshi are 175 cm (5'9"); Lakitu (including cloud) is 179 cm (5'10"); Daisy is 180 cm (5'11"); Donkey Kong (on his knuckles) and Peach (!) are 186 cm (6'1"); Waluigi (with his knees bent a bit) is 216 cm (7'1"); Bowser is 262 cm (8'7"); and Petey Piranha is a whopping 389 cm (12'9"). Normal Piranha Plants seem to vary in height depending on how long their bodies are, but the diameter of their heads is about 111 cm (3'8"). Now for the even harder part, character ages. When it comes to Jr.'s age and that of the Koopalings, I used their first game appearance as their birth year and added till now, this is why Jr. is 15 as Super Mario Sunshine came out 15 years ago and it's his first game. I'll explain why his age and his appearance don't seem to match later on, but after words I hope it'll make sense to you like it does to me.
If there are any questions, feel free to ask.