THIS HAS ONLY BEEN CHECKED FOR ERRORS ONCE. SORRY~~

(THIS IS SOON AFTER CHAPTER 11)

Adrien could feel himself sinking deeper and deeper.

She hates me, she has to hate me.

That thought alone left him barely able to move. He thought he could handle her hating him, but now that what he had done was setting in, it was really hitting him that he had lost any chance of being with the one he loved.

But it was to protect her….

Was this a reason or an excuse at this point?

I could have been gentler with my delivery.

There was no going back now. He was doing everything it took to not fester on his delivery when he knew he had good intentions. Adrien knew exactly how it would play out if he were to stay by her side and tell her the truth. She would give everything it took to help him, tell him not to use Plagg, and then try to fight Kwamis alone. He would just be dead weight as he could no longer help her, a leech that is only good for sitting at home while waiting for her to come back- like a dog waiting for its owner.

But at this rate….

Even if she hated him, he could still use Plagg and protect her. If she didn't know, there was no problem, right? Master Fu wouldn't say a word about what was truly going on. While he hadn't been reluctant to give Adrien information, Master Fu had made it quite clear that he would intervene if he truly felt any danger would come their way, but that brought about the question…..

Just when do I pose as a danger to her?

Adrien pulled the blanket closer on his shoulders as he curled into himself. It hurt to think, he just wanted to forget everything.

Forget how badly he hurt Marinette. How he broke her heart. Loving her. This whole magical nightmare. Even his whole existence. He just felt like the world would be a much better place without him if all he did was cause pain wherever he went.

A sigh escaped his lips as he tried to force himself to sleep, it was the closest thing he could get to forgetting.

"Adrien!"

He inwardly groaned as he tried to ignore her.

"Adrien!" All at once, the comforting blanket he once had wrapped tightly around him was yanked from him, exposing him to the chilled room. "No need to pretend to be sleeping." A giggle escaped the girl's lips as she tossed her purse on the couch and plopped herself down next to him. At the look he was giving her, she felt the need to laugh. "If looks could kill, I'd be 6 feet under. Now don't look so upset, love."

How could he not be upset? His life was falling apart and was barely hanging by a thread. She just refused to see how hurt he was and took joy in it.

"Lila," Adrien started but was instantly silenced by a single finger to the lips.

As if taking pleasure in being able to hush him, she laughed once more. The second he stepped into her home, he knew he made a mistake. Maybe the biggest of his life. She had welcomed him with warm arms and a loving hug, expecting his downfall with Marinette. She never once said 'I told you so', though her actions said it all.

She was happy that he was in pain and she didn't bother to hide it at all. He didn't know if he was glad for his hatred of her or not. He just wanted to push off some of the hatred he felt for himself onto anything else and she was giving him plenty of reasons to.

He had barely even spoken a word to her over the last few days and he had made it quite clear that he did not want to speak to her. As if unbothered, she would attempt to talk to him without a care in the world.

She dropped her finger with a sweet smile. "You've been mute and have refused to go outside for the last five days, are you sure you don't want to go out with me? I have a photoshoot today and you're more than welcome to come." She checked her golden watch before pointing at the time. "It's midafternoon, you shouldn't sleep all day."

Adrien didn't bother hiding the fact that he was annoyed by her bothering him about going outside again. She asked every day since he had arrived at her home, why did she expect a different response from him?

Maybe he hadn't been clear enough with her.

He took his hand out from the little bit of blanket that still covered him and moved her wrist out of his face. "I've already told you that I'm not going outside." If I leave, I'll just go to see her.

He had yet to think of what to say or do about the situation he was in. Adrien knew that if he took a step out of Lila's condo, he would just go back to Marinette and beg her to forgive him. He needed to be firm with his actions. He had just done about the worst thing he could have done to her, she needed time, just as he needed time away from her.

With another sigh, he turned towards the window. "Stop asking if I want to leave, the answer will always be no."

A part of him really did feel bad for how he was talking to the young woman. He was taking his anger out on her, but he already had a good idea of how she worked. She would push him if he didn't set boundaries. It was clear that she was looking at his life as if It were a game and that she was interested in him losing.

Her lips puffed out in a pout as she ran a hand through his hair. "Aww, you poor thing."

He instantly grabbed her wrist. "Don't touch me." Marinette was the only one to touch his hair. It was a small thing, but he wanted to grasp on to any pleasant memory that he could. It just didn't feel right for someone he didn't even like to touch him in such an affectionate way, especially in a patronizing one at that.

"A little rough there aren't we?" She smirked as she rubbed her wrist. "Why don't you open up to me? What's on your mind?"

"You know what's on my mind." He growled through clenched teeth.

"I'm just trying to be a friend here. I may have been watching you guys, but I only know what's happening out here." She waved her hands out in the open. "Not in there," she said as she pointed to his head.

She knew every single detail, she had been watching them the whole time. That was the first thing she had told him when he entered her home. She had seen the complete shit show and had some damn nerve to ask him what was on his mind.

"I just want to forget everything and you're not helping by constantly nipping and picking at what you already know is 'on my mind'." He said as he glared at her.

Under any other circumstance, he would have tried to keep his language polite and use a sweeter tone, but she knew what she was doing and she knew she was bothering him. Give or take, he could leave her home, but with nowhere else to go, that just wasn't an option.

"You want to forget?" She cooed at him.

"Every second of what I've done," Adrien replied honestly.

Lila stood and brushed off her skirt before leaving the room. Adrien was a bit surprised by her sudden departure but was more than happy for the silence he was given in return.

Just as he was about to lay down once more, Lila strutted back into the room. When she came back she placed a single bottle on the table with a cross of her arms.

"Don't say I never gave you anything."

Adrien eyed the glass bottle. It was small and nearly opaque as its reflection bounced off of the glass table.

"What is it?" He didn't dare touch it in case she had coated the bottle with poison or something. He was waiting for the day she'd get tired of his behavior, though he doubted it would come.

She rolled her green eyes with a scowl. "Do I look like an evil step-mother? You already know I'm the last person in this world that would willingly hurt you." She stated with a slightly offended tone.

Adrien nearly apologized for his hesitation, but he had yet to get an answer. "I repeat, what is it?"

She pointed a manicured finger at the bottle. "You said you wanted to forget, right? Pop two of those in your mouth and you'll forget a lot of stuff. Just don't overdose on it. You'll forget, maybe hallucinate. I don't know, the symptoms vary." She seemed so nonchalant with her answer as if she wasn't trying to give him drugs.

He felt the need to ask for a third time what exactly she was attempting to give him. He knew about drugs but had never even considered taking them. "Why do you have these?"

She turned her back to him with a huff as she pointed to her watch. "I have to go." She grabbed her nearly forgotten purse from off of the couch. "Just know you're not the only one that wants to forget sometimes."

With that said, she was out the door without a glance back. Adrien turned from the closed door to the bottle. He eyed the container, not trusting himself to touch it.

It could ease my mind a bit.

Adrien debated on if she had his best interest in mind with this. Visibly, it was something she had taken before, as noted by a little more than half of the pills missing from the bottle. Would she really take something that would harm her? He sighed, going back to the thought that everything was a game to her. He wouldn't be surprised if she gambled with her life with these.

But she had also made it clear to only take 2 unless he wanted to overdose on them. He'd be lying if he said he wasn't tempted. Who wouldn't be tempted? He asked to forget, and a fairy godmother must have heard his cries.

But this won't solve any problems…. Adrien eyed the ring that was sitting on the dining room table. He had taken the small piece jewelry on and off a couple of times throughout his days spent at Lila's condominium.

Lila had made it quite clear that Plagg was not allowed to talk with Trixx for any reason and that they would have a big problem if he so much as even approached her Kwami. Adrien had heeded her words though kept the ring off at times for his benefit. Plagg had been quite noisy and Adrien just wanted to think without the interference of someone else's thoughts weighting in on his own.

He was having a battle with himself over needing to figure out what to do. Everything in him was telling him to take the pills. Why not give himself a temporary release? It may help him think better afterward anyways. On the other hand, it could make him feel worse depending on how exactly the drugs affected him. He was hardly in a place to make decisions for himself as the feeling of being reckless appealed to him.

Adrien carefully slipped the ring on his ring finger and waited for Plagg to appear. As the green orb, he was familiar with seeing blinded him, he shielded his eyes from the bright light. Plagg appeared looking more than just displeased.

"You can't just pick me up and put me down as you please, I'm not some tool." Plagg huffed immediately. "The least you could do is have some cheese ready at that."

Adrien chewed on his lip with guilt. "I'll ask Lila to get more for you." Adrien felt bad knowing that Plagg loved cheese and that he hadn't had any in the last two days. "I need some advice."

"More like you need therapy, kid." Plagg felt there was nothing he could tell Adrien that he hadn't already tried telling him over the last week, but with the serious look, his owner was giving he felt the need to hear him out. Plagg frowned. "What's wrong on top of everything else?"

For the first time, Adrien picked up the bottle. He rolled it in his hand as he felt the cool of the glass. "Lila gave this to me."

Plagg eyed the bottle before floating up to it. "What is it?"

Adrien shrugged his shoulders as he placed it back on the table gently. "I don't know, she didn't say what it was. She just said it could help me forget."

Plagg immediately shook his head. "You're not going to turn into a druggie on top of already being a pretty bad person right now."

Adrien winced at his words. Sure, they were true, but it still hurt to hear out loud. "I really do just want to forget things though. I mean it's only temporarily too."

It was in that moment that Adrien knew what he wanted to do. He had wanted to ask for Plagg's opinion regarding if he should take the drugs or not. But here he was defending and trying to think of reasons to justify taking them. Obviously, he hadn't wanted to be swayed from doing it despite asking for advice.

"Adrien, I'm saying this as your friend." Plagg pointed at the bottle. "Temporary solutions are just that, temporary. Unless you're going to take them for the rest of your life, I suggest you talk to Marinette and try to work things out."

Adrien immediately shook his head. "She hates me."

Lila had been sure to whisper that into his ears at least a thousand times since he came to her. Marinette had every right to. He hadn't explained anything and he had hurt her, regardless of wanting to protect her.

"And? You think she's going to stop hating you all of a sudden if you take those?" Plagg's eyes softened on the tormented boy. "At least attempt to talk to her, you owe her that much, don't you? Maybe if you talk it out, she may be able to understand."

Adrien grew quiet. Yes, he truly believed he owed her at least that much respect and then some more, but does that mean everything he did was in vain? Had he hurt her for nothing? While his delivery was poor, he didn't regret pushing her away. It was a struggle to think that he had done it, but he'd rather not have her blood on his claws if he could prevent it. If it was what needed to be done then so be it.

"She's going to think that you don't even want to help her catch Kwamis anymore since you said you were done with her," Plagg continued. "Just imagine all of the things she's thinking right now and how she doesn't know if she'll ever get answers as to why you hurt her."

Plagg didn't agree with anything his owner was doing, though he partially felt to blame. If he didn't exist then maybe this wouldn't have happened. Marinette had always been kind and caring towards Plagg, always buying him his favorite food and making sure that he was comfortable in their home; it hurt him to know that she was hurting. If he could've stopped Adrien from doing what he did, he honestly would've, but that wasn't an option as Adrien had taken off his ring that night.

"But-"

"But what? Just attempt to talk to her, please. If not for yourself, then at least for me." Plagg's lips turned down in a frown.

He had his own amount of guilt that he was dealing with himself. Plagg honestly wanted to know how Marinette was faring, he wanted to see her with his own eyes, to even comfort her. The girl had definitely wormed her way into his heart and he felt no amount of apologizing he could do would aid in healing her.

Adrien mulled over Plagg's words. It all boiled down to one thing.

Was Plagg right or wrong?

No matter Adrien's worries, he just couldn't find Plagg to be wrong in this situation. There was no going back from here, he would need to move forward. If they were going to work together to continue to catch Kwamis, they would need to be on somewhat decent terms, right?

I guess that even if I don't explain the full situation, I should at least let her know that I was wrong for how I handled things.

He hated that he had acted so rashly and had hurt her, that he had let his emotions get the best of him and blind how he acted. But at the same time, a part of him truly did feel like it was necessary to push her away to this extent in order to not hurt her as much in the end. Distance was needed between them no matter what. His thought process was that if they could separately catch the Kwamis that would have been perfect. The less contact he has with her, the better.

"You're right," Adrien spoke after some time.

Even Plagg seemed surprised by Adrien's sudden revelation. "I am?"

"You are." If anything, he just wanted to express to Marinette that she hadn't done anything wrong. That was his sole goal. He knew that if he was feeling like the way he had been, it must have been a thousand times worse for her and that just wasn't right. "I'll go to see her tonight."

He wouldn't go until evening, he wanted all of the time he could get to think about what to say and how to word it. He also wanted to embed in his head that there was a solid chance that he had permanently messed things up with the woman he loved. The chance that she may not take him back was something he dreaded the most. If he stayed away from her, at least there was the possibility of not knowing how she felt about him now. He didn't know if he could take her truly saying that she hated him, even if that was his goal.

"Good, don't mess this up any more than you already have."

Adrien laid back on the couch and looked at the high ceiling. "Is that even possible?" He was sure that if he gave himself time to think, he could think of something to tell her. Not an excuse, but reasons that he hoped she could see and understand.

So he spent the next 4 hours plotting out how to go about talking to her. As night drew near he felt that he had gotten a better idea of how to approach her about everything. He wouldn't go in asking for her forgiveness. No matter how much he wanted it, he had to remind himself that he A, didn't deserve it, B, that it would ruin the whole purpose of him being so harsh in the first place, and C, that the most important thing was her and her well-being. In putting her as the first priority, he felt he could mainly focus on how she was feeling and come from a different point of view rather than his own in those regards.

He took his time walking to her place, dragging his feet as his nerves begged him to turn around and stay in the safe confinements of Lila's home.

The chill the city air brought to his skin did little to help the hot and bothered feeling swelling in his chest. He had already done the worst thing he could do to her, what else could possibly go wrong?

She could outright say she hates me. His mind responded to his rhetorical question almost instantly.

He was conflicted as he forced his feet to continue down the familiar path to her apartment. A part of him really did want her to hate him, but a bigger part still wanted to be friends with her, to grow their budding relationship into wherever it was headed before he had messed up.

Once near her apartment, he slowed to a stop. He had worked out everything he wanted to spill to her but hadn't thought about how to work on going about jumping over the hurdle of actually seeing her.

He swallowed a deep gulp as he contemplated his options. If I knock on the door, she'll probably slam it in my face. It seemed a bit uncharacteristic of Marinette to do something like that, but he wasn't too sure of how she would respond to him now. He looked at the balcony that overlooked the city. My best bet is the balcony.

He would knock on the balcony window so that she would be forced to see him through the picturesque windows. If luck was on his side, she would be in the living room watching tv and he would be able to see how she was doing through the windows.

"Plagg, claws out." He waited for the familiar sensation of energy filling his body before he looked around. Not a single soul in sight. He took a few steps back before getting a running start and latching his claws onto the balcony. Adrien made sure to stay very close to the ledge and out of sight from the living room windows so as not to startle her if she was in the living room.

He breathed out a sigh of relief as he quietly swung his legs over the balcony. He had barely made a sound as his shoes hit the concrete of the terrace. Adrien positioned himself so that he was just out of sight but able to see into the living room if he leaned forward.

Now's the moment of truth. He thought as he peeked his head around the corner.

He felt his heart stop as he scanned the living room. Sure enough, Marinette was in the living room with Tikki. As if unmoving, she sat with her legs pulled close to her chest as she buried her face in her arms. He had never seen her look so dejected.

Seeing the way her body racked with sobs killed him. He was grateful that he couldn't see the eyes he had grown to love, would they be puffy and red from crying? Would they convey just how badly he had hurt her?

I did this.

It was a mistake to come. He didn't hesitate to leave the balcony and head back to Lila's place. As soon as his feet connected with the ground, he began running to her the condominium. It only took three seconds of seeing Marinette for him to regret what he had done. Anything he told himself to justify his actions would just be to make himself feel better.

I shouldn't have hurt her like that.

He ran and didn't stop running until he was back in Lila's home.

"Plagg, claws in."

He all but scrambled for the pills that Lila had left for him.

"Kid, wait," Plagg said as he tried to stop his owner. "Just give it time, she'll want to talk."

Adrien didn't bother answering Plagg, he knew Plagg was right. She needed time, he would give her as much time as she needed. He felt he needed to do whatever it would take to make the time apart easier on himself though. He would stay away, but the only way to do that was to forget.

Adrien unscrewed the lid and looked at the pills. The small tablets looked like nothing more than Advil pills, could they really help him forget everything?

Plagg's words resonated throughout Adrien's head.

"Temporary solutions are just that, temporary."

At this point, he felt reckless and like he didn't care. Even if it was temporary, one second of relief would mean the world to him. With that thought in mind, he tossed the pills back and swallowed. Despite being fairly small in size, the pills moved slowly and painfully down his throat, he regretted not drinking water to help it go down easy.

Plagg waited for some sort of reaction from Adrien. "….You okay?"

Adrien felt a need to look at his arms. He turned his arms every which way so that he was looking at the inside of his wrists and palms before turning to the scenery around him. He didn't know what he expected, but something instantaneous and quick was definitely on his mind.

Adrien nodded his head as he plopped himself on the couch with a frown. He still remembered every horrible thing he did- everything he said. Now the growing feeling of having done wrong nipped at him after seeing Marinette. How could he possibly fix things? He knew it would be difficult to see Marinette looking hurt, but seeing her the way she had been had truly unsettled him.

He hoped with each second that passed that something about his condition would change. Anything. And yet an hour passed and he felt no different. He had been sitting in the same spot for the last hour, refusing to move in case that somehow impacted the effects of what he had taken. It wasn't until hours two hit that he leaned forward and looked at the bottle. There was no label to give any indication to what he may have taken, nor any instructions to give him an idea as to if he had done it incorrectly.

Plagg sighed as he looked at his owner, he truly did pity him

"You didn't even give it a chance, Adrien. Just try to talk to her without running away." Surely Plagg had seen how hurt and broken she looked when they visited. Why would Adrien want to see that again? "I promise I won't bother you about it again. Just try to talk to her."

He had already gone once and had failed, was it really worth going back again?

Temporary or permanent solution…It's not like he liked this game of limbo.

"You promise?" He asked, wanting it to be the last he heard of this. Plagg nodded his head profusely.

Adrien stood with a sigh. He wasn't very sure if he'd make it down the street with how he was going back and forth with himself, but something had to give.

He found himself running down the same street once more to get to Marinette. He really did need to set things in motion and this was the only way he could. As he approached her apartment complex he made the quick decision to try the front door. At least if she slammed the door in his face, she would have made the decision rather than him just abruptly appearing before her on her veranda.

Without allowing hesitation to set in his bones, he knocked on her door. He could hear his heart in his ears as his hands began to tremble. Adrien's hand drifted to his back pocket. He could always open the door using the key to their apartment, but he wanted the choice to be hers- he refused to take it from her. He knocked once more if by some chance she hadn't heard his persistent knocking the first time.

It was gentle but he heard the door being tampered with as if she was motioning to unlock it. All at once, the sound stopped and the door remained locked.

"Adrien?" Her voice was so soft, so broken that he could barely even hear her.

"Marinette, please. Open the door, I want to talk things out."

She seemed to be thinking as silence passed between the two. Adrien didn't want to say another word in case it provoked her to push him away. What words could he offer her to make things right in the first place?

It seemed like an eternity before the door was pulled open. Adrien's heart broke all the more as he stared into the blue of her eyes. There was no way to describe how he felt inside at knowing he could willingly put her through this much turmoil emotionally. To think she cared so much about their relationship hurt him.

"Marinette…."

She turned her back to him as she walked into the apartment, signaling that she wasn't willing to have this conversation in the doorway. He was quick to trail after her and shut the door behind him.

The estranged couple took seats on opposite ends of the couch. It brought a wave of sadness over him to see how they've returned to like they were before they were acquaintances, opposite ends of the couch with silence keeping between them.

Adrien felt like he was on such thin ice that anything he could say would cause him to plunge in.

"I just want to know why?" She spoke after some time. Without her even looking at him, he could see that she was trying to hold it all in. Hold everything together so as to keep from falling apart in front of him.

Adrien weighed his options. He didn't feel that breaking everything to her right now was the way to handle things, it was a lot of information to dump on her when she wasn't in her best state. She deserved an answer to her question though.

Adrien's shoulders slumped forward. "I spoke with Master Fu about some things and…..I just don't think I'm the best person to stay at your side."

Her face was flushed red as she whipped her head to look at him. "You can't make that choice for me!" The roar of her voice was so loud compared to the meek voice she had just spoken with. He had to question if she had actually yelled for a second. She looked so incredibly angry that even he was intimidated by the petite girl.

"I thought I was making a good choice. You don-"

"Understand?" She filled in for him. "Adrien, as a partner you completely failed me. We talk things out and try to help each other understand, not push each other away like how you did to me. There's absolutely nothing you can say to justify what you did."

"Don't you think I know that?" He wanted to beg for her forgiveness, but he knew that right now he just wouldn't get it. "I want to take back how I handled things so very much, but I can't."

She stood so abruptly that the couch shook. Before he even had time to react she grabbed him by his shirt and yanked him forward. "Don't you dare play victim here. You should have handled it differently instead of leaving me here feeling like I made a big mistake by telling you that I love you! The damage is done, Adrien." Even with her yelling in his face and with tears streaming down from her eyes, she was still beautiful.

He gently placed his hands over her knuckles. "What do you want me to say? You know that I'm in love with you. You know I'm the biggest idiot for messing up with you. You know that I just want to take everything back." It was all the truth, he had no problem with saying it.

She grew silent as confusion danced through her eyes. "It's the first time you've ever said you love me." Her grip on his shirt went slack as she took in his words.

Adrien turned his head to the side as a sudden wave of nausea passed over him. He took a few deep breaths to calm himself down as the temperature of his body rose. Adrien gently pushed her back away from her, afraid that he may get sick all over her shirt.

"Are you okay?" Her tone was softer as if she hadn't shouted at him.

The most he could give was a head nod as he attempted to focus on the velvet of the couch.

Shit. He hoped that this wasn't his response to whatever Lila had given him. He would never take anything she offered him ever again. Here he was still remembering every horrible thing he had done and now he felt like vomiting at the worst of times.

Marinette was quick to get water from the fridge before rushing back to the living room and forcing him to drink it. Adrien could feel Marinette's eyes on him as he fought to cool himself down. He had no intention of telling her that he had taken supposed drugs to forget everything that had happened before coming to see her. It would only play into the narrative of him victimizing himself and he honestly felt pathetic for having such a reaction to it. Additionally, it would be way too much to explain everything to her.

Once he was sure he wouldn't throw up the contents in his stomach, he turned to her. Her eyes were full of concern and worry for the sudden shift in his condition. He chuckled to himself at the irony of it all. Here was the time where she should have been her angriest at him, and yet her eyes were glazed with unease and care.

Adrien cleared his throat, "I meant it, ya' know? About loving you." He couldn't continue like this, it just wasn't right. He looked her dead in her eyes. "Let's go to Master Fu tomorrow so he can explain everything better."

There was no way he could properly explain it to her without getting worked up. She was right in saying that he couldn't make the choice for her. They needed a mediator, someone to properly express everything to her from an unemotional view. Master Fu could say everything much better than him and answer all of her questions on top of that. Maybe not all, but he could provide more information the Adrien ever could.

She slowly nodded her head as if thinking about everything that was said over the last five minutes. "Master Fu…."

"Yea," he hesitated as he reached a tentative hand out towards her and brushed as a strand of hair from her face. She had yet to fully respond to his declaration. "How do you feel knowing what you know now? About how I feel towards you?"

Marinette leaned her head into his touch, though offered him no words. She locked eyes with him in an intense gaze as if trying to find fault in his words through his eyes. Without warning, she closed the gap between them and captured his lips with hers. It was a split second and Adrien barely had time to react. He didn't push forward to kiss her back, nor did he pull back from her. He felt frozen and completely caught by surprise.

Marinette pulled back. "I feel….torn…..and hurt." Her voice was suddenly void of emotion.

Adrien was confused as to if he had done something wrong by not returning her kiss. Was that what she wanted? But she had just said she was torn.

Adrien found himself wrapping his arms around the woman he loved as he himself felt torn. He had put them in this big mess by interrupting her life and now they would have to figure out what to do. She nestled herself into his arms as if she was always meant to be there. They held each other for some time to make up for the last three days.

After a few minutes, Marinette laughed to herself. "Loving you has certainly messed with my head. I'm afraid of what I'll do next."

Adrien wasn't sure how to interpret her words. "What do you want to happen Marinette? If you want me to leave, I'll leave. If you want me to stay, I'll-"

With much more force than before, she crashed her lips on to his. This was her answer, she wanted him to stay, she didn't want to be another second without him. Her hands trailed down his chest in a hungry attempt to clear her starvation. Adrien honestly wasn't sure of what moves to make, he would allow her to do whatever she wanted to him. He wouldn't stop her.

He didn't stop her from saying she loved him hundreds of times.

He didn't stop her from roaming her hands over him.

He didn't stop her from leading him to their bedroom.

As the sun rose and the bird's chirps greeted him, he felt reluctant to open his eyes. It all seemed like a dream, how everything had happened. What would he say to Marinette after their dealings of last night? A chill set deep within him as he realized she hadn't spoken the words 'I forgive you'. A part of him was grateful that she hadn't said anything of the sort, he preferred that they talked to Master Fu first so that he could explain everything to her. He could wait for her answer until then if she did choose to forgive him.

The quicker I get up, the quicker we can go to him.

With that thought in mind, he turned to wake his Sleeping Beauty.

"Mar-"

And just like that, his dream became a nightmare.

His mouth went dry as brown tendrils spread across the bed and bright green eyes looked up at him.

"Sleep well, kitten?" She purred.

His eyes widened to the size as saucers as he quickly sat up. It became difficult to breathe as he whipped his head every which way.

This isn't right.

Where was the vanity mirror Marinette always did her make up in? And the clock that he hated looking at every morning because it meant she was off to work? Even the nightstand next to the bed was missing.

"Why am I in your room!?" Adrien couldn't hide the panic in his voice.

Lila hitched an eyebrow high on her forehead as she sat up calmly, pulling the blanket up with her to cover her bare chest. She could only stare at him for a second as his frantic behavior struck her as odd. Lila fidgeted with the fox pendant settled between her breasts as she thought about what to say to further provoke him.

It was somewhat funny to see him like this. It was the most emotion she had gotten out of him since he's been here.

"You were the one that followed me to the bedroom." She said it slowly and calmly just in case he had really lost his mind overnight.

"No, no." Adrien denied. He clearly remembered running to Marinette's apartment and talking with her, and- "No, that didn't happen. Marinette and I…After I saw….We…" No matter how many times he played it in his head, he could only remember Marinette."

Lila's mouth parted as it dawned on her what had happened. "You...went to see her, didn't you? And you took the pills I gave you too?" It was a question that she already had the answer to. He looked exactly like a kicked puppy. She burst out in laughter at how things had played out.

Adrien turned away from her as she laughed at his expense. Minus what he was slowly beginning to realize, he felt that she was horrible for laughing at him when he already felt like a monster.

Her laughter seemed to go on for what seemed like an eternity. "It's not funny."

"Oh yes it is." She grabbed her sides, still tickled by his mess up. "Hate to break it to you lover boy, but you were with me the whole night. As soon as I walked into the house, you were all over me. All I did was take one look at the bedroom and you practically dragged me there."

Adrien refused to believe that, he just couldn't. Given Lila's track record with lying, he wanted to believe that she was over exaggerating what had happened. He played last night in his head and honestly couldn't even remember doing anything with Lila, his mind was just full of Marinette and their passion-filled night.

He quickly pulled on his sweatpants and walked to the living room before grabbing the bottle of pills. The pills sure as hell did a number on him. He hadn't temporarily forgotten a single damn thing he had done, he had just made a big mistake after taking them.

As his hand, wrapped around the glass of the bottle, it felt as if his whole world was crumbling before him. How could he…..He couldn't have. Could he really have slept with Lila?….There was no way…. Everything felt so real. The feel of Marinette's body against his, the way that she yelled at him about his stupid decision, the way she had looked at him as if had truly broken her the way he believed he had. There was no way it didn't happen.

She threw on his shirt before making her way out of the room. Lila was slow to follow him to the living room of the condo as she took her time working herself to the edge of the bed. It was only amusing to make fun of him if she thought she could get something out of it, how could she make things more so in her favor?

She leaned on the door frame, interested in seeing the further turmoil he'd throw himself into. A growl rose in Adrien's chest as Lila appeared before him. She seemed content and downright happy that he had screwed up.

"I told you that you shouldn't go to visit her." Her tone was matter of fact and sounded as if she was trying to keep it neutral.

Adrien had a good mind to leave. What the hell was keeping there? He didn't come to be tortured for his wrongdoings. It was maddening to him that she could have so much fun at his expense.

"…." Adrien tried to think of anything to say to her, to somehow get her to stop looking at him the way she was, but even he was at a loss of what fighting words to use. Anything nasty he could have said to her was now directed at himself as he felt he had done the worst thing in the world.

"Ya' know," Her voice was much too sweet for his liking. "If you wanted to see her all you had to do was ask." Without hesitation, she pulled the reed-flute from behind her back. Her fingers danced along orange and white as a harmonious tune was played. All at once, Adrien watched as her long hair dipped blue and the forests had had once looked into became the deepest of blue.

His breath caught in his throat at the person he wanted to see the most and wanted to avoid all the same stared back at him.

"Ask and you shall receive." As if Lila was no more, Marinette's soft voice bounded out.

For a split second, Adrien felt numb as he looked at her. The stale feeling he felt inside quickly turned to anger as she began laughing once more.

Adrien grabbed her by the shirt. "Stop this." He was far above hitting a woman, but she was pushing her limits with him. He could only take but so much and she was surely treading on thin ice that was sure to break up if she kept dancing on it the ways he was.

Her laughter died down as did her smile as she placed a hand over his fist. "And if I don't?" It was a calm question not necessarily meant to provoke him but was asked because she honestly wanted to hear his answer.

Adrien didn't care for this anymore. Sure he had messed up, but would he honestly be able to get better with her tantalizing him the way that she was?

His eyes narrowed on her as he released her shirt. With as much calmness as he could muster, he replied, "Absolutely nothing."

So what if he had nowhere to go. Being on the street was better than this.

For the first time, he saw fear in her eyes. It was almost instant as her eyes glazed over in a panic and her mouth instantly drooped into a frown. It was fascinating for Adrien to see her nervous for the first time, probably the last at that. It didn't occur how much she liked being in control until this very moment. It was odd for him to think that she honestly thought he was going to sit here and just take her taunting.

"Now hold on just a second, Adrien." She quickly wiped a hand through the air as the appearance of Marinette dropped from her figure. Instant regret dripped from her tone, "I'm sorry."

She had said it with such ease, he had to wonder if Marinette would accept a sorry if he were to give one the way that she had.

Adrien had no reply for her. Minus her childish behavior, he was focused on the mistakes that he had just made.

"I promise I won't do it again. I won't do anything that may upset you."

Adrien tried his best not to feel sorry for her. He honestly didn't feel sorry for her, but the thought that something must have been wrong with her increased.

For someone to behave with so little remorse unless it affects her and her desires….I don't know if she's psychotic or a psychopath or what….

Now it was her turn to grip on to him like a child that was about to lose their favorite teddy bear as he threatened to leave. He didn't understand her fixation with him or why she had even clung on to him in the first place.

Adrien sighed. I'll stay because it's convenient. He chanted in his head. Adrien looked at the pendant hanging around her neck. No matter what, we have to get it anyways…..I better keep good blood with her…

Convenience sure as hell better be worth it.

"Promise? No illusions, no talking about Marinette, nothing. What happened last night is not happening again."

"Scouts honor!" She agreed eagerly. "But you have to promise not to see her again." She replied as she wrapped her arms around his torso.

"Lila." That just wasn't an option. Whether it be now, months later, years later- whenever. He knew he wanted to see Marinette again…but only when it was okay to see her.

She shook her head against his chest. "She doesn't deserve you. She doesn't want to see you anyways."

"I plan to see her again….Eventually….I'd be breaking a promise to you if I promised that I won't see her again, so I won't make that promise to you," he stated clearly. If there was anything he had learned from Marinette, it was the importance of keeping your word.

"Then promise to stay at least."

Adrien wondered if she thought he honestly had options and choices of where he could go right now. Even if she thought he did, why on earth would he chose to come here of all places?

"I'll stay for the time being." He wasn't sure of what way she meant her words, but he felt promising to stay here was doable. Again, he highly doubted Marinette would want anything to do with him regardless of if they would be able to get back on good terms or not.

"Pinky promise?" She held up her pinky, not willing to put it down until he sealed the promise.

He linked their pinkies and pressed his thumb to hers.

If only he had realized how deep their promise was at the time.

Adrien had vowed that it would never happen again. He made a promise to himself that he wouldn't and yet he had caved.

It was a spur of the moment decision last night. He wasn't even sure he could call it a decision. A decision was a conclusion or resolution reached after consideration. There was no consideration given, he just did it without much thought at all. It had been one of the worst days ever.

He was alone all day. No Lila. No Plagg. Just himself and his thoughts. A very dangerous combination.

The thoughts of Marinette started out small and insignificant. Compared to the millions of other times he had thought about her, he didn't think this time would be different. Why would it have been? He had been left alone before. He had thought about Marinette before.

But for some reason, a sense of impending dread overtook him as he realized just how badly he had messed up. Why should he ever be back in her good graces? Adrien couldn't shake the thought of him feeling that Marinette regretted ever meeting him, ever releasing him from the book.

It might have felt slightly unsettling in the fact that he didn't want to regret anything regarding her, he just couldn't. It was the same old tune that he had danced to since first pushing her away. He felt bipolar due to saying he did the right thing by pushing her away and feeling that he was the worst person in the world for how he did it.

One second he was huddled under the sheets thinking about how torn he was, the next he was popping the same pills down his throat. Even in the same manner without water knowing that it would go down roughly and probably cause him to fill ill afterward. It seemed he was making a lot of the same mistakes recently. He just didn't care about his own well-being and could feel himself spiraling as Lila tended to leave him alone throughout the days.

It started out the same with nothing happening and then all at once, he was back down memory lane. Watching all of the happy times he had with Marinette. Watching her smile, her laugh, the charming way she just talked about anything and everything with him…All to end up with the final image of her being upset and words failing to convey just how badly he had hurt her.

This time he begged for her back, told her everything. Adrien wanted to do anything to rewrite the story that was written in permanent ink.

Lila had played the part well as she had come in right when he was on the brink. With drugs in his system, he had begged Lila to use Trixx to turn back into Marinette just so that he could apologize and beg for her back. It was the closest he would ever get to being at her mercy as he could not bear to face her anytime soon.

His request struck Lila as more of a surprise than anything else. Not so much in the fact that he had asked her to use Trixx for such a stupid reason, he was desperate to see the girl he claimed to love and desperation causes people to do senseless things, it was more so that he had asked her in the first place. He had made it a point to tell her not to do that and now here he was asking her to change her appearance to satisfy his need to apologize and eventually sleep with her. Of course, Lila readily agreed, loving the toxic person he was becoming and how he was descending into a loss of control.

With morning breaking in through the window, Adrien was left paralyzed as his mind overflowed with thoughts of last night. Everything was foggy and he honestly didn't remember much of what truly happened, just as it had been the first time he had taken those pills. He could just remember Marinette and a passion filled night, though he knew what happened wasn't reality.

Adrien refused to move. There was no doubt that Lila was awake and was waiting for him to move ever so slightly in order to start a conversation with him.

This doesn't feel right. He thought to himself.

It had felt amazing to feel like he had Marinette but now that he willingly made this mistake, the high just didn't feel worth the low point he came crashing down to afterwards. He felt conflicted and just didn't know what to do with himself. What would Marinette say if she saw him now?

He sighed, instantly regretting the small action as it gave way to the fact that he was awake.

Why was the world so cruel? Adrien slowly turned to Lila and tried not to look as frustrated as he was feeling. It was officially his fault now and Lila was just mixed up in it. He honestly wanted to hate her more than he hated himself, but it was proving difficult.

Pink lips curved into a pucker as she gazed into his eyes. "Let's go out tomorrow."

It was a simple request, one he'd keep denying.

All he wanted was to be alone today and to make some decisions that would help him get his act together. He wasn't sure how much longer he could continue on the path he was on.

Adrien sat on the couch eyeing the bottle of little devils that he had engaged with twice. Once a few days ago and now last night.

There won't be a third time.

Today had been quiet. It was always quiet when he took off his ring and when Lila wasn't home. Today was the first day where he had readily awaited Lila's return.

He spent the whole day feeling sorry for himself. Adrien wondered what psychologist would be willing to help him deal with himself. These constant backs and forths of emotions and thoughts couldn't be healthy for anyone. His mind was a terrible place to be in and he wanted a way out.

Adrien twisted the bottle in his hand, a sad smile playing at his lips.

For the first time in what felt like years, he had finally made a concrete decision. After spending the whole day feeling like shit, he tried to break down why he was feeling so badly. He was back at square one where Plagg's words refused to leave him.

A temporary solution would get him nowhere, he needed something that would help him more forward. The first step to doing better was to make a feasible decision that would propel him in the right direction. This was the first of many steps.

He wanted to see Marinette to make amends and to also explain that their being together just couldn't happen. Whatever his next action was, he just wanted it to be something that would be beneficial for Marinette in some way, shape, or form. Him taking pills to forget her, wouldn't make that happen.

It wasn't long before Lila walked into the house in her naturally upbeat manner. She smiled as her eyes landed on the blonde-haired man.

"Somethings up." He wasn't desperately huddling himself under a blanket like he typically was. She took a spot next to him on the couch.

Adrien placed the bottle of pills in the small of her hand. "I'm not going to need this anymore, I want nothing to do with them…They aren't helping me to get better." He was sure that Lila had given them to him with good intentions, but they were anything but that.

She chewed over his words, surprised by his sudden change. Last she checked, he enjoyed spending time with 'Marinette' at night. "You're sure about this?"

Adrien nodded his head slowly, debating over if he was truly ready to give them up. He was far from addicted and felt there was no real need to take them. The low points he's felt since taking them crawled back into his mind and made him feel ill. "I'm positive."

Adrien had settled and come to terms with giving Marinette time, just as he needed time himself. It was a matter of convincing himself that there was nothing wrong with giving someone time. If he rushed off now, he'd just make a bigger mess of things.

It was just a matter of when rather than if.

"Oh, you're serious about this?" She smiled, very interested to see how he would go about 'changing things'. All in one movement, she abruptly threw the bottle against the white walls of the condo. The sudden action caused Adrien to jump as the sounds of shattering glass split the air. She hadn't even batted an eyelash at her unexpected action. "Then they're gone."

"You didn't have to…" He didn't even bother finishing his sentence. At this point, he'd come to know that Lila just did what she wanted, she didn't need a reason to do anything. That included breaking glass, considering that room service would clean it up the next day. Minus the anomaly that was Lila, Adrien was proud of himself for taking a very small step in the right direction. "I'm really going to try to change."

"Mhm, I'm sure of it." She stood, not wanting to hear any more about the changed man he was going to try to become. She had heard it before and she wouldn't believe it until she actually saw him go out to meet Marinette. "I'll call room service for dinner. What do you want?"

Adrien shrugged his shoulders. "Anything is fine."

Without another word, she was off to the bedroom to order dinner. Adrien watched her leave before going over his thoughts. There were two things decided about this night. One being that he wouldn't take these pills anymore. The other being that at some point he would come completely clean to Marinette about what he had done. He felt sick thinking that he had slept with Lila twice while drugged up. The first time he honestly felt he wasn't at fault, but the second time….he knew what he was asking for and knew it was wrong. Adrien's blood chilled over just thinking about having a conversation with her. He didn't want to play victim and say that he did it because he wanted to see her; that was even more pathetic than anything else as it seemed like an attempt to justify his actions. He didn't want to be the victim or make excuses, he would need to come clean and just spell out that he had slept with her twice. Just thinking about it gave him a headache. Adrien would cross that bridge when he got to it, there were more important matters at hand.

He walked to the windows and looked out over the expansive city. It looked the same as it always did, but somehow gazing at it from the condo felt different. To see the city from Marinette's apartment, the Eiffel Tower, and now Lila's condo. All different views of the same city at different points in his life. What would the future hold for him?

He could only hope things would turn out for the best in the very end.

It's really interesting to actually express what happened with Adrien. I probably would have briefly grazed over what happened in another chapter. I find it hilarious that a lot of people gave me hell and totally dropped this story because he slept with Lila. They'll never know what really happened buhaha. Either way he still technically willingly slept with Lila once~

I'll apologize, my heart just wasn't in this chapter and I feel like it came across with the writing style, BUT I'll do better next time (:

Anyways, you guys stay safe, happy, and healthy please! The next updates will be Arc 4 Part A and that will most likely be a regular 1-2 week update before I just end this story after a mini hiatus~ Imagine in about 4-5 months it's finally oveerrrrrrrrrrr (if things go according to plan). I'm excited :D