A/N: Sooooo. This was requested over on Tumblr! (find me there nxttime if you'd like)
It's a boat-load of angst! And pain! And why did I write this?! Because I can!
Anyways. The lyrics are in italics and the songs are Bruises by Lewis Capaldi, and Truce by Twenty One Pilots.
Warnings: Mentions of rape, brief torture, angst, and character death.
Enjoy!
Counting days, counting days since my love up and got lost on me
The lyrics of the song playing from the radio barely cleared the fog in Jason's mind. The cool ground felt good against his cheek and chest but he couldn't dwell on the pleasurable touch for long as a hand entangled itself in his hair and yanked his head up and off the ground.
Jason hissed in pain.
I've been holding onto hope that you'll come back when you can find some peace
Blood dripped down from his chin and Jason's head was held so that his throat was exposed. His vision was blurry and nothing seemed real anymore. Everything'd taken a dream-like quality to it and Jason found that the backhand to the face he received didn't change the texture the world had taken in the slightest.
In the background the music kept playing and Jason became entranced in the lyrics for no reason, really, as the torture session continued.
But I hope I never lose the bruises that you left behind
Oh my Lord, oh my Lord, I need you by my side
A scream tore from his mouth when a white-hot blade grazed over his chest and cut a long gash over his abdominals. His torturer hummed, turning the volume on the radio higher as they inspected Jason the way a sculptor would a block of clay.
He'd long since resigned himself to this fate. Jason had been here for a week, now. He only knew that because his captors hadn't seen any reason to keep the passing time a secret. There wasn't a point.
If Jason had to admit? It made everything hurt worse. Psychologically and physically.
'Cause everyday it's gettin' colder
And if only I could hold you
You'd keep my head from goin' under
The first day? He'd put up as much of a fight as he could. Cursing, insulting, denying, snarking; all of it.
Jason's fight only lasted four days, in the end. On the third…
Well. Let's just say he still hadn't gotten the taste of that torturer out yet. It had been a night of ring gags and drugs. He'd been higher than the stars but sober enough to recognize what he'd been put through.
A shudder wracked his body at both the memory and the current feel of ice-cool water splashing on his warm torso.
Well there must be something in the tide
If he had to pick the worst day? The sixth would be it. Day three torturer had shown up with some pals and Jason had been used in ways he'd thought he couldn't be anymore. Not as the Red Hood. Not bigger than he was back then. Not stronger.
One of the worst parts was the music. It played 24/7 non-stop. The same song over and over again.
There must be somethin' in the water
'Cause everyday it's gettin' colder
Dull footsteps sounded as today's torturer left, seemingly satisfied with the damage inflicted.
Jason was pretty sure he preferred this torturer. All that happened with this one was a few cuts that would scar. He's got plenty of scars; what's a few more?
He didn't try to move from his spot on the concrete floor painted by his blood. He just remained where he was, limp on his chain-bound arms. All he moved was his head to rest his cheek on the cold surface of the smooth concrete again.
And if only I could hold you
You'd keep my head from going under
Why was Jason here? Well it'd just been a bad night for the Red Hood, to put it mildly.
He wondered if the others were looking for him. Not that he expected them to. Hell, Jason barely expected them to notice his absence. If they'd cared he wouldn't still have been here. He wouldn't have been…
This time? Jason didn't expect Bruce to show up and save the day. Breathing was a chore his body could barely handle at this point. He was hungry. Thirsty.
Awaiting death.
And I'm tired of being so exhausted
Your love I'm lost in
Your love I'm lost in
Your love I'm lost in
Even though I'm nothing to you now
Even though I'm nothing to you now.
The song kept playing and Jason merely listened, eyes closed and chest rising and falling haggardly. He couldn't sleep. What else was there to do?
And if only I could hold you
You'd keep my head from goin' under
There must be somethin' in the water
'Cause everyday it's gettin' colder
And if only I could hold you
You'd keep my head from goin' under
Creaking sounded eerily, cutting through the instrumental part of the song, and he sighed a bit at the noise.
But something new happened as Jason opened his eyes and looked to the door.
The song changed.
Now the night is coming to an end
The sun will rise and we will try again
Stay alive, stay alive for me
You will die, but now your life is free
His heart dropped at the sight Jason's eyes met.
Take pride in what is sure
To
Die
It was Roy, his Arsenal uniform in tatters and limp between two thugs. Blood sluggishly dripped from several nasty wounds on his arms and chest. A jagged cut spotted across Roy's face made Jason's gut twist violently.
He swallowed thickly past the lump in his throat.
Why was Roy here? What was this music supposed to mean?
I will fear the night again
I hope I'm not my only friend
Stay alive, stay alive for me
You will die, but now your life is free
This song was one Jason had never heard before but, as Roy was unceremoniously dumped on the ground, he had a feeling he'd hate it.
Roy was already bound by the wrists and ankles, his mouth gagged.
Much like Jason himself was.
Another thing consistent throughout the torture sessions? The silence from the torturers. Never was a word spoken-other sounds didn't count.
Today must have been a special day, or something, because the last existing constant was shattered.
Someone spoke.
But Jason wished they hadn't.
"Dread when he wakes up."
Then they were out of the room, closing the door and leaving Jason bound to the floor with his unconscious older brother.
He couldn't help but wonder how Roy had gotten caught. Why he'd been caught. What he'd been doing.
Since there wasn't much he could do, and since he didn't want to rouse the sleeping vigilante, Jason's eyes slid shut and he started counting the seconds as they passed.
In the background the song played on loop, drowning out the sound the old water pipes made as the probably-contaminated water dripped onto the ground. The single yellow light in the room flickered as the electricity flow stuttered. The odor of sweat and blood intermingled to create the rancid odor in the air.
To Jason, you could almost taste the blood in the air; you could still hear his muted screams.
Escape was impossible. His torso was bare, and the legs of his pants were torn and covered in grime. His arms were bound behind his back and secured to the ground by thick, heavy chains. His ankles were tied similarly.
Unless he became Houdini, Jason had no way out of his bonds.
. . . . .
Hours passed before Roy woke up.
Jason licked his cracked lips to wet them a bit before rasping out, "You idiot."
Roy groaned in response as he tried to curl up.
"Arsenal."
"Shhhhhh."
Jason rolled his eyes. "Arsenal."
The redhead huffed before finally sighing and rolling onto his side. "Why do you keep using that name," he mumbled, "we're not-" Roy cut himself off when he opened his eyes and took in the room.
Jason simply watched as everything started returning to his best friend.
Roy jolted in his chains. "Jaybird! You're alive! Shit, man, we all thought you were dead or something." As he ran a critical eye over Jason Roy said, "What have they done to you?"
He chose not to answer that loaded question, instead asking his own. "Why are you here?"
The exhaustion and hoarseness in Jason's voice caught Roy's attention and he met Jason's green gaze with his own.
"Well," he started a bit slowly, "you disappeared… and I came to find you."
Roy came here…
For him?
A tad stunned, Jason asked Roy why.
Roy blinked. "Why did I come for you?" At Jason's nod Roy explained, "Because you're like a brother. I'll always come for you. You can count on this guy." The archer winked with a shit-eating grin.
Jason closed his eyes, taking deep breaths. That someone cared about him that much…
He cleared his throat, asked, "How?"
The older of the two snorted. "I fought and I lost, alright? Geez. Always have to rub it in, don't you? If you're asking how I found you, let's just say I did some asking around." Cue shit-eating grin.
Jason rolled his eyes, a smirk tugging at the corners of his lips.
A feeling of hope he didn't even know he was harboring was crushed brutally when the door opened and three dudes on steroids walked in with some regular-looking dude behind them.
Oh, God, please no…
Jason's eyes darted over to Roy, who's lips were drawn in a thin line, face grim.
Casual Man grinned wolfishly when he caught the look on Jason's paled face. He gestured vaguely with a hand and the three started moving.
In Roy's direction.
"Pain, Red Hood," Casual started in a vicious tone, "demands to be felt-"
"Hey! Get your filthy paws off! You have to pay to get grabby, one, and two, wrong job type!" Roy started thrashing against the firm grip the Steroids had on him, his chains removed.
"-even by people like you who pretend to clean the dirt off the streets."
Jason impossibly paled further and he looked back to Casual with a pained expression on his face. "No. No, no, no, no, don't you dare!" he yelled. "I'll kill you! Don't fucking touch him! It's me you hate, right? Leave him alone!"
Casual turned his nose up at Jason like… like he was some sort of garbage, then shook his head. "Tsk, tsk. I'm disappointed, Hood." In the background Roy continued to struggle and snark, and Jason was forcing himself not to start shaking, tightening his bound hands into fists. "Don't you know? The best way to hurt someone is through the people they care about."
NO!
A glance over at Steroids and they nodded. Frantic, Jason looked to see two force Roy on his knees and the third pulling out a glock.
"NO!"
'BANG!'
Jason jerked against his chains hard, and he felt a shoulder slip out of the joint, but he ignored the pain as best he could because Roy just got shot.
Casual sighed and almost seemed upset.
He was upset! He was upset!
Roy was dumped on the ground and Steroids started to exit the room, but Casual stayed behind a second longer. Then he was walking right after Steroids.
Jason hadn't noticed his tears until he felt them drip from his chin.
"Roy."
The archer let out a weak grunt. "M'alive, Jaybird. G-guy's a terrible shot." He chuckled wetly.
Face drawn in pain, Roy tried pushing himself up on trembling arms.
"Shut the fuck up," Jason bit back. "Just shut up. Where did he shoot you?"
Roy lifted his head and the shit-eating grin was ever-present. "Thought y'wanted me to shut up," he snarked.
Jason made a frustrated noise and Roy waved a hand, dropping his head again. "D'nno. Just under the ribs. Right side."
"Did the bullet go deep?"
"I plead the fifth."
Jason dropped his head back against the wall, teeth gritted. "This is my fault."
Roy started to move again and Jason lifted his head to glare at him. Roy held a hand up in mock-surrender. "What? M'not tied down."
"Stop moving already," Jason snapped. "Do you want do die?!"
He received no answer as Roy stood with a hand on the wall to support him.
Jason didn't understand why Roy wouldn't just stop moving, he'll die quicker and Jason.. He…
He'll be left alone.
Roy moved beside Jason, and only then did he obey and plop himself on the ground, propping his head up on Jason's shoulder.
"What are you doing?"
The redhead didn't answer, instead taking a small device out of his pocket and dropping it on Jason's lap.
It was a tracker. Bat-tech.
"They're comin' Jaybird," Roy mumbled.
A lump formed in Jason's throat and he swallowed past it. "Stay with me, Roy. We've still got shit to blow up and people to kill."
"Stop bein' mean. M'right here. Don' need t'yell."
"Then fucking listen." Jason hadn't been yelling…
Roy hummed.
The silence to follow was suffocating and just that. Silent. Quiet and Roy Harper do not mix. Ever.
In a show of how desperate he was, Jason started rambling to fill the silence. He spoke about whatever came to mind, ignoring the hoarseness of his voice. Every now and then Roy would mutter something in response but, when the replies ended, Jason knew. He felt it in his gut.
"Sorry Jaybird," Roy whispered.
Sounds of struggle came from the other side of the door, but everything had seemed empty a while ago.
Jason couldn't believe the words to exit his mouth. "Just… let go, Roy." His voice came out watery but he didn't care. "You… Thank you. For everything."
He felt Roy smile. "Always, Jason. Always."
When he heard Roy's sigh, Jason knew it. He knew.
The door flew open and Red Robin bursted through the entrance, Nightwing right behind him.
Jason rested his head against the wall, choking back sobs as he spoke through the agony wracking throughout him. "You're late," he rasped.
Red Robin didn't respond, having already seen Roy. Instead he simply moved to free Jason from the physical chains.
Nightwing also held his silence, grabbing Roy and carefully holding the body in his arms. Tears slipped past the domino mask not long after and, once he'd been freed, Jason curled up and shoved his hands in his eyes, ignoring the pain of the dislocated shoulder.
"He's gone," Jason choked out. "He came for me-he cared about me-and he died because of it. I'm a poison," he whispered. A bitter laugh escaped him. "I really am a disease."
There was a sharp sting before everything started fading into black, and Jason found he didn't care too much.
He deserved death.