AN: This story has a bit of an AU timeline because it requires the events of OBD, OBD to have already happened by the time of FFFT and definitely AU content because it creates an alternate future for our heroes. Many thanks to Clagjanet, Itsjustshe and Tjsmklvr for helping with various portions of this story. Emjoy!

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December 12, 1985

"Are you sure I can't do anything to help?" Joe King inquired as he wandered into the kitchen to refill his coffee cup while Amanda and Dotty were washing dishes.

"No, Joe," Amanda insisted for the fourth time since she and her mother had begun the after-dinner clean-up. "You're here as a guest." She gave a nod to the den where the boys were doing their homework. "Besides, I really don't want to take away from your time with the boys. You get to spend so little time with them as it is."

"Oh, I'm sure they're sick of their old man by now when I've been making a nuisance of myself hanging around here all the time since I got back."

"Nonsense!" Amanda scoffed. "They love having your around."

"And you? I'm not annoying you?" he questioned with an arched eyebrow. He'd sensed something was going on with her since he'd arrived earlier in the evening because she wasn't her usual bubbly self. "You're not mad at me for being around too much?"

"No, not at all," she assured him as she paused in her task to look him in the eye. "I...um...I've just got some stuff going on that has absolutely nothing to do with you."

"Is there a chance that you'd tell me what that is? I'm a good listener, you know," he gently probed.

"I-"

"Amanda, you know you really do need someone to talk to about...things," Dotty interjected.

"Yes, Mother, but I need to talk to the right person and you and I both know that my ex-husband is not that person," Amanda argued.

"Still standing right here," Joe input impatiently.

"I know you are and I appreciate the thought, but really, I'm okay. I just need to work this...er...problem out on my own and you should spend as much time with the boys as you can because you just never know when EAO is going to call you up on another mission." She shot him a pointed look as she flattened her hand and moved it in a diagonal motion upwards from her hip to indicate a plane taking off and added, "And then - Whoosh - you're off again to who knows where-" she completed the motion with a sharp clap of her hands – "and bam! the boys may not see you again for a year."

"Ouch!" he replied with a slight shudder. "Point taken. You know, for someone who says she's not mad, you're certainly giving a good imitation of it."

She let out a sigh and hung her head. "Joe, I'm sorry. I'm really not mad at you at all. I-" She mentally kicked herself for taking her frustrations with Lee out on Joe as she reflected back on her use of the word 'mission' in her admonishment to Joe. She was long over Joe's gallivanting all over the world. This time it was another man in her life who'd taken off with no notice and unlike Joe, who'd always at least informed her of where he was going, Lee had not. He was just...gone.

"You've got stuff going on," he acknowledged. "Stuff you don't want to talk about...at least not with me. Got it."

"I really am sorry," she apologized again.

"We're okay, but you're right. I should spend as much time with the boys as I can before I end up having to leave again." He strolled back to the den and joined the boys with a chipper, "So, what are we working on? Anything I can do to help?"

"Amanda..." Dotty hissed in a warning tone once Joe was out of earshot just as the doorbell rang. "Saved by the bell," she muttered.

"I wonder who that could be," Amanda mused in a more cheerful tone than she felt.

"Won't know until we answer it, will we?" Dotty replied as she slung her dishtowel over her shoulder and gave her a knowing look. "Though since you just quit your job rather abruptly, I've got three guesses who it might be." Before her daughter could reply, she hurried to the door.

Great, Amanda thought morosely. That was the last thing she needed. She'd turned in her resignation to Billy with the sole intent of not having to face Lee again after five unanswered phone calls and learning from their boss that he'd gone on assignment without her. She let out a deep sigh and tightly gripped the edge of the sink for support just as she heard her former partner gruffly saying to her mother, "I'm Lee Stetson. I work...er...worked with Amanda and I need to see her and don't tell me she's not home because her car's in the driveway."

She didn't hear her mother respond and a moment later, it was clear why when he appeared at her side, shaking the letter she'd written in his fist with a surly, "Do you care to explain this to me?"

She turned to face him, pasted on her best smile and replied sweetly, "I think it says it all in the letter I wrote to Mr. Melrose. Now, if you don't mind, I have things to do."

"I'm sorry, Amanda. He just pushed right past me," Dotty said with a look that told Amanda all too well that she wasn't sorry at all. "You know, I just think I'll go check on the boys so you two can talk." Seeing that Lee's attention was solely on her daughter and not paying a bit of attention to her, she mouthed to the younger woman, "Tell him," before turning on her heel and walking away.

"Well?" Lee demanded, holding up the letter.

"If you'd read my letter, you'd know," she responded coolly and turned back to her dishes.

He slammed the letter onto the counter beside her. "I have read it." He jabbed it with his finger repeatedly. "Every...damn...word."

"Then I don't see what it is you need explained to you," she shrugged as if trying to appear aloof.

"You babbling on and on about a family situation may get you off the hook with Billy, but it won't with me. After all we've been through, you owe me a real explanation. We're partners."

"Were partners," she corrected as she finally turned to look at him again. "Not anymore. If you'd really read every word of my letter, you know that I no longer wish to be your partner."

"Why?" He glanced toward the den where Dotty had joined Joe and the boys. He nodded toward Joe. "Or should I even ask? It's him, isn't it? Now, that he's back in your life, you don't want me around anymore. Is that why you left five cryptic messages on my machine and why you tendered your resignation?"

Amanda reached for the roll of paper towels on the wall to dry her hands and began gripping them tightly as she paced in front of the sink. "You wanna' know the reason I left all those cryptic messages on your machine? I'll tell you why." She paused in her pacing as she stood toe to toe with him. "Because I had something I needed to talk to you about in person and you weren't home for me to do that. Then I hear from Mr. Melrose that you suddenly had to leave for some work thing and usually you have me tag along with you or at the very least, tell me you're going to be gone, but noooo...not this time, not when I had something really important - life-changing important - to talk to you about. This time, you couldn't be bothered."

"Amanda..." He reached for her hands, but was startled when she snatched them away from him. He frowned in confusion. "You know you can always talk to me about anything, right?"

"Really?" she replied disbelievingly. "How am I supposed to do that when you're not around to talk to?" She hated how shrill her voice sounded now, but she couldn't help it, not when she'd been agonizing over this for two days. She blew out a long breath and in a lower tone, went on, "And no, my leaving the Agency had nothing to do with Joe and for the record, he's not back in my life." It hadn't occurred to her until now that Lee would even think that after all they'd been through together.

"Oh, come on, Amanda. I was there in the gym and I saw how cozy the four of you looked..." He again nodded to the den.

"Well, yes, but that's because Joe and I share children. He's always going to be a part of my life because of that, but that doesn't mean he's in that part of my life. I would've thought you could figure that out after what happened in the swamp."

"So, what is it? You're regretting what happened between us now?" he demanded, his voice rising again.

"Shhh." she hissed. "Lower your voice. My family's right in the next room." She shook her head. "Maybe we should take this outside like we normally do," she suggested.

"It's freezing outside, Amanda, and even if it weren't I'm tired of you hiding me outside away from your family. Why shouldn't they know there's something between us?"

"Is there?" she questioned louder than she intended, drawing the attention of the occupants of the den.

"Is everything okay in here?" Joe inquired as he stepped into the doorway between the two rooms.

Lee started to open his mouth, but Amanda gave him a warning look. "Fine, Sweetheart." She replied to Joe and shooed him toward the den before turning her attention back to Lee. "But I think you're right. We do need to talk in private."

"Upstairs, maybe?" Lee suggested. "Your bedroom?"

Amanda let out a shiver at the thought of being alone with him in her bedroom. "Under the circumstances, I think that's a really bad idea, but we can go sit in the dining room and close the doors so we won't be overheard. You go on in there. I just want to check on the boys first."

"Fine." Lee nodded and followed her instructions.

Amanda made her way into the den and with a bright smile and asked, "How's the homework coming?"

"Fine," Phillip answered while Jamie shrugged and inquired, "That's the man you work with, right?"

"I already told you that," Joe reminded his son.

"Yes, but you didn't say how you knew him," Dotty interjected with a curious eyebrow aimed at her former son-in-law and then glanced at her daughter for an answer.

"Yes, I did," Joe jumped in quickly. He knew his ex-mother-in-law well enough to know she was trying to catch him in a lie. "I just told you I met him when I first came back a few weeks ago. Amanda introduced us when she had her government friends help me with the trouble I was in."

"Funny." She shot her daughter a withering look. "All this time she's worked there and this is the first time I've ever seen him."

"Yeah," Phillip added. "Why haven't we met your boyfriend yet?"

"He's...um...he's not exactly my boyfriend...I mean, he's my friend and he's a boy...er...man and we've..." Might as well bite the bullet, she told herself. The truth was going to have to come out now that Lee had invited himself into her house. "Well, we've sort of been seeing each other, but-"

"I'd say you've been more than just seeing each other," Dotty cut in. "I mean, with the circumstances being what they are."

"Mother!" Amanda scolded in a warning tone. She quickly changed the subject, "I really need to go talk to him, so-"

"Yes, you do," her mother interrupted again.

"Why do I get the feeling there's something going on that I don't know?" Joe questioned with a raised eyebrow in Amanda's direction.

"Listen, I need to talk to Lee first, then I promise that once he and I figure things out, I'll tell all of you what's going on, okay?" Without waiting for a response, she hurried back through the kitchen and into the dining room, closing the door behind her.

"Everything okay?" Lee asked in concern.

"Yeah...well, with them it is. With you and me...I...uh...I'm not so sure."

"That remains to be seen." He raked a hand through his hair and flung himself into one of the dining chairs with a frustrated sigh. "How about you start by answering the last question I asked you? Do you regret what happened between us in that night the swamp?"

"Do you?"

"I asked you first."

"That is so childish," Amanda pouted.

He stubbornly folded his arms across his chest. "I'm waiting for an answer, Amanda."

"You're not on the job and I'm not a subject of interrogation," Amanda argued.

"Keep avoiding it all you want. I'm not going anywhere until I know what's going on. I'll camp out here in your dining room all night if I have to. Since you brought up the subject of that night when we were running for our lives through the swamp, I can only assume you leaving work without telling me has something to do with that."

"Well, what about you taking off without telling me?" she turned the tables on him.

"Oh, no, this is not about me. I didn't quit without telling my partner."

"If you really thought of me as your partner, why wouldn't you tell me you were going on an overnighter?"

"Because I didn't have time!" he snapped as he rose from his perch. "I didn't even have time to pack a bag. I had to use the emergency bag I keep in my car, BUT as soon as I got back I went to see Billy to get permission for you to go on another trip with me to investigate further, but to my surprise, you weren't there!"

"Well, I wasn't there because of what happened in the swamp!" She shouted back.

His face fell, his mouth dropping open. She couldn't have hurt him worse if she'd struck him. "So you do regret it?"

"Don't you?" she questioned.

He shook his head. "Not one damn second of it, but apparently you do."

"I never said that," she contended.

"Then what are you saying? Please, tell me Amanda. I'm usually pretty good a deciphering Amanda-babble, but you haven't made one bit of damn sense since you started leaving those messages on my machine."

She took his hands in hers and in a calmer tone, suggested, "Let's just sit down and talk. I'll explain everything, okay?"

He squeezed her hands and nodded. "Yeah."

They sat down at the table facing one another and she began, "That night in the swamp when we...when we..." She hedged, unsure of how to refer to it without scaring him off now that he was here. Deciding to just call it how she saw it, she plunged on, "When we made love, it was...well, it was very special to me. I know it wasn't the ideal time or place, but when I thought we were going to die, I-" She paused again as she tried to compose her thoughts. "I...um...I've wanted that with you for so long and I thought we were really going to die and I didn't want to die without ever-" She broke off as tears began to sting her eyes.

"I understand," he replied gently as he reached to lightly caress her face. "I felt the same way."

"Then why did you treat it as if it was no big deal after the fact."

"What?" He gaped at her. "I didn't."

"Oh, yes, you did. You said very plainly that it was just about two people seeking a little warmth and that really...it really hurt." She gave into the tears, letting them slide down her cheeks.

"Ohhhh..." He nodded in acknowledgement. "Okay, you're right. I did say that and I get why you would think that it didn't mean anything to me because of that, especially with my reputation." He reached for her hands again and held them tightly in hers. "But that's not what I meant. I never meant to imply that it didn't mean anything to me. It did. It meant the world to me, but I...uh...I wasn't sure how you felt about it and I thought..." He pulled one hand from hers and scratched his head as he tried to find the right words to explain. "Since we'd only recently started seeing each other outside of work, I thought that it might be too soon...for you, I mean and I was trying to give you a graceful way out if you wanted it without having to make a big deal out of it."

"Oh," she replied simply. "Well, it is a big deal...a much bigger deal than you know."

"I don't understand. We both just admitted that it meant something to us, how much bigger could it be? There's something else I don't get. If what I said after the fact was such a huge thing to you, why did you keep working with me then? We've worked on a lot of cases, not to mention, been on several dates since then. If you never wanted to see me again, then why now? Just because I left without telling you? If that's the case, I'll make sure in the future that if I don't have time to call you right away, that Billy does so you know what's up?"

"It's not that...or not just that. It's that I really, really needed to see you, to talk to you and you weren't there. It's a huge deal because that night between us changed everything and when I tried for two days to get you and couldn't, I just kept reliving my marriage to Joe in my head because he was never there when I really needed him. I know it's unfair to compare you to Joe because you're very different men, but in this case, I couldn't help it. I can't relive what I did with him, so I thought if that's how it's going to be, it would be best for me to just go it alone from the start and that's why I wrote that letter."

"Okay, you're still not making complete sense. I understand that you don't want to take the chance of me not being there for you, but if that's how you feel, as much as I hate to say it, maybe we're better off not pursuing this thing between us. I can't always guarantee that something won't come up like this again. It's the nature of the job. Bad guys don't take days off and you know that. I thought you understood that."

"I do understand that, but it's different now. I can't have you just taking off on me and not at least know where you are or how to get in touch with you anymore. That night made it different."

"Just because we slept together? I'm really confused now. If it's something neither of us regrets and we're both willing to move forward, why is it so different and why wasn't it different a week ago...or a month ago right after it happened?"

"Because..." She paused, took a deep breath and finally spit out, "I'm pregnant."