There was an audible silence in Amanda's station wagon as she drove from Lee's apartment back to the Soviet Embassy, neither Lee nor Amanda wanting to open their mouths for fear of opening a can of worms that should remained closed.

Finally, Amanda took a deep breath and suggested in an overly chipper tone to hide her nerves, "Gee, it's awfully quiet in here. How about some music?"

She switched on the radio and Lee immediately switched it off with a gruff, "No, this headache's still lingering."

"Well, maybe that will teach you not to drink so much next time," she snapped irritably.

"Yeah..." His mind drifted back to the prior night's events. He vividly remembered the sweet, longing kiss they'd shared at midnight, but the rest was a bit of a blur in his mind. He desperately wanted to know how much of it was real and how much of it was his own fevered dreams brought on by too much vodka. He glanced sideways at her in an attempt to gauge her mood and she didn't appear to be angry anymore, just annoyed. The question was, was she annoyed with him, at her ex? Both of them? Or was she still annoyed that he'd made an ass of himself at the party and an even bigger one by attempting to seduce her in his drunken state? "Hey...uh...that stuff that happened when your ex was there...I-" He broke off abruptly, too chicken to come right out and ask her about it.

"Yes?"

"Never mind. It's not important," he huffed and stared straight ahead through the windshield.

"No, I guess not," she sighed, wondering which part he meant, the fight itself or that he had once again resorted to caveman mentality after Joe had falsely insinuated that the two of them might reconcile.

There's your answer, he thought morosely. It doesn't matter to her; doesn't matter that she'd said she wanted to spend the night with him despite him being a jerk. "What I I mean is...the stuff I said to Joe about, you know...uh...what happened last night. Well, it...uh...I didn't really mean it, you know? Because it wasn't that big a deal."

"No big deal," she echoed his words blandly, fighting the urge to scream at him that it was a big deal.

He shrugged to try to indicate that it didn't matter to him any more than it did to her. "Come on, Amanda, you and I both know what it was really all about, don't we? It was...uh...well, we started out playing a cover for Yuri's benefit, right?"

"Right," she agreed with a nod. "Because Yuri really believes we're a couple..."

"But we're not," they finished together and then Lee continued with, "So...uh...we both had a little too much to drink. I mean, I know you didn't drink as much as I did, but still, you'd had a few too."

"Right," she repeated, her heart sinking as she could already predict the next words to come out of his mouth.

"With that in mind, maybe..." His voice trailed off as he mentally kicked himself for being too much of a yellow-belly to really say what he was thinking, but really, it was for the best. Though he may protest for the sake of appearances, he really did like the working relationship he had with Amanda and the last thing he wanted to do was let it be damaged by inebriated inaptitude.

"Yes?" she pressed, hoping against hope that she was wrong.

"We-ell, I think...uh...last night, we should just chalk it up to taking our cover story too far, you know? Because we'd both been drinking. I mean, it's not like you really wanted to spend the night, right? You only said that to get me to leave you alone and go to sleep, am I right?"

Her shoulders slumped as his words registered, but she quickly right herself again, determined not to let her disappointment show. She gripped the steering wheel tightly and replied in what she hoped was a nonchalant tone, "Sure. After all, you did get a little more grabby than you would have under normal circumstances, but I blame the vodka." She didn't believe a word of what she was saying, but she knew if she pushed the issue, it would only make things worse. He was looking for an easy out and she decided it was best to let him have it. "And you...you didn't really want me to stay, did you? You just...well, you haven't been out in a while and you...you were just...lonely and I simply happened to be there. I'm sure if you'd taken one of your normal party girls as your date instead of me, it would've been the same thing, right?"

"Right," he readily agreed. WRONG! an inner voice screamed in his head, but he couldn't make himself say it out loud.

"Sooo...I think that's a good idea you suggested. Just treat it as one more instance of playing our covers." She nodded firmly more to attempt to convince herself than to agree with him when what she really wanted to do was call him out on it. "Except..." she began in a an attempt to contradict what she'd already said and see if she could get him to open up a little more, Joe's words to her about Lee being crazy about her echoing through her mind.

"Except what?" Please call me on all my bullshit, he pleaded silently.

"Well, there was that kiss at midnight. That was before the vodka," she pointed out.

"True," he concurred. "But everybody kisses someone at midnight, don't they? Besides, that was really part of the cover too since we were pretending to be a real couple." He winced at his own stupid defense mechanism of distancing himself kicking in when he didn't really want it to, but it was too late to take it back now.

"Yeah, I guess you're right." Her hopes crushed, she thought back to how she'd told Joe last night how protective Lee was of her and continued in a lighter tone, "So, the fight with Borchov...that wasn't really about me either, was it? Not with the way you're always looking after me in the field just like that."

"Right, I was just protecting my partner. That's what partners do, right?"

"Oh, right, absolutely! So, your trip to Malta to rescue Joe..."

Lee frowned and shook his head. "Look, that was just more of the same thing. I heard through the grapevine that he was there and might be in trouble with all the unrest going on there, so I-"

"So, you hopped on a plane to help and flew halfway around the world just to rescue someone you'd never even met?"

"Just doing my job, Amanda," he explained. Keep telling yourself that, the scolding side of his mind taunted. You did it for her and you know it. "Political unrest is sort of the Agency's forte, you know."

"Oh, I know, I know. I have no issue with that at all. I mean, Phillip and Jamie, they were thrilled to have their father home for the holidays and I was thrilled for them." Just not so thrilled for myself, she mentally added. "But I can't help wondering why you told Joe not to tell me how he got home or more importantly, why you didn't tell me about it yourself?"

"Because it wasn't that big a deal; just another day on the job. I was there anyway because of what was going on. He just happened to be there too." He wasn't about to inform her that he'd specifically asked Billy for that assignment precisely because he knew Joe King was there.

"Hmm, that's quite the coincidence," she mused a bit disbelievingly. "But if it were really that simple and you really did think of it as just another day on the job, why hide it?"

"Coincidences like that do happen, you know? Like how we first met, for example; you just happened to be at the train station at the same time I was running for my life. As for hiding it, it's just like I told your ex," he shrugged. "We operate in secrecy." He tapped his chest. "Secret agent, remember? Emphasis on secret."

"Okay, yes, but you just said I'm your partner," she reminded him. "So, don't you think that's something a partner should be let in on, especially when it concerned me personally?"

"No, that's exactly why I didn't want you involved, because it did involve you personally," he informed her. "You'd be too emotionally invested in it. Then what if I hadn't been able to get to him in time to pull him out of the firefight? Then what, huh? You might have blamed me," he added defensively.

"Oh, come on. That's a cop-out and you know it. I know you too well now not to know that if it came right down to it, you'd have sacrificed yourself to bring him home. Besides that, I don't seem to recall you keeping me out of it when my mother was involved in a case. Remember that mix-up in the bookstore around Phillip's birthday? I was right there in the middle of that and it involved me personally and I trusted you then to keep my mother and my children safe even after I was attacked in my own home."

"Okay, yes, but a guy hiding in your closet with a knife is a whole lot different that riots in the streets, Amanda. You weren't there in Malta. You don't know how bad it is there right now."

"And since we've been working together, I've been kidnapped, drugged, lost my memory, nearly been blown up, mugged, almost run over, not to mention shot at more times than I can count. Even if you didn't want me along for my safety, don't you think I could've handled at least knowing what you were up to?"

"Listen, I'm sorry I didn't tell you about it, okay? Happy now?" he replied testily. "I just didn't want you to know anything until I was sure I could get him safely home."

"Oh, no, I am not happy now," she countered. "I am far from happy because what you said still makes no sense. If you didn't want me to know anything until you were sure you could get him out, then why did you specifically tell Joe not to say anything to me even after you got him out?"

"Just because," he answered evasively.

"Because why?" she pushed.

"Look, you want the real truth, here it is. I went because I knew he was in trouble and I know how much your kids mean to you and how heartbroken they'd be if they lost their dad and how much that would hurt you to see them hurt. The reason I didn't tell you is because I also went for a purely selfish reason. I grew up without my parents, as you well know, and I didn't want to see your kids go through that, but I also didn't want you pitying me just because I had a rough childhood and I knew if you knew that I was the one who brought him home, that's exactly what would happen." He gestured to the partially sad, partially touched look on her face. "Just like that," he pointed out. "That's the face I didn't want to see."

"Lee, this isn't pity...at all. This is gratitude. You put your own life on the line to make sure my children wouldn't have to feel what you felt as a child. I guess I can never truly understand that part of you because even though my dad's gone, I was already married with kids of my own when he passed. But anyway, that's not the point. The point is that I'm happy that you cared enough to do that for my boys with no thought about what it might do to you." She reached over and lightly squeezed his hand.

"Yeah, you're welcome." He gave her a weak smile. "Now, can we please stop talking about this?"

She nodded. "I think we're going to have to anyway because there's your car there." She released his hand and pointed to the parking area where he'd left the Corvette the night before.

She pulled the wagon alongside his car and as he got out, she gave him a warm affectionate smile and said brightly, "Thank you again for what you did for Joe and my boys. And Happy New Year."

Despite all that had happened, he found her smile infectious and couldn't help returning it. "Happy New Year, Amanda."