A/N: Hello, lovely people! This was written in response to V. Sourweather's The Marauders Era Challenge, using the dialogue prompt "You've got to be kidding me." / "Does it look like I'm kidding?" I cannot tell you how obscenely long it's taken me to finish this little story, simply because the plot changed about twenty times, the characters changed about ten times, and I think at one point I was seriously contemplating extraterrestrial presence in this one-shot (okay, so I really am kidding on that one).

I like the idea of Lily and James's friendship growing throughout their sixth year, until things reached a head in their seventh. This is meant to be pre-Jily, right before Lily realizes her own feelings for James. I don't think I've ever done a story quite like this before, so if you have any ideas on what would have made it better, constructive criticism is always welcome!

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, and am making no profit from this.

xxx

Months had passed since Lily had broken up with her long-term boyfriend Creg Greywell, and he still refused to talk to her any more than was necessary. That might not have been a problem - after all, she didn't want to talk to him, either - but he was a Ravenclaw prefect, and she was Head Girl, and because she was Head Girl she had to talk to him, and that ultimately meant that there were an abundance of times spent awkwardly standing around and pretending that they had never been anything other than acquaintances.

Which, as Marlene oh-so-helpfully kept pointing out, wasn't working. It's hard to act like you're a near-stranger to someone when you had been their girlfriend for just over a year.

And found them snogging some slag from Hufflepuff that you still can't remember the name of. Hue or Tooey. Maybe Loo.

Lily sighed and wiggled her nose. There was so much going on in the world that it was foolish, even selfish, of her to spend time worrying about silly teenage whims. Yet she had never been one to have a very good hold on controlling her emotions, and even if she didn't spend even half as much time thinking about Greywell and what's-her-face-from-Hufflepuff as she thought about Death Eaters, and You-Know-Who, and how she was a prime target just because she had been born to Muggles, and the Thing of Grave Importance that Dumbledore said - she still thought about him from time to time.

Mary kept assuring her that her feelings about Greywell were normal. After all, he was her first real boyfriend, and even if she hadn't loved him she did really, really like him. Mary was always a sweet girl, constantly reassuring and always friendly to (nearly) everyone.

"There you are."

Lily jumped, dropping her quill abruptly. The tip smacked her parchment, leaving a small line of ink at the corner. She couldn't bring herself to care.

Remus Lupin was standing in front of her, looking abashed. "I didn't mean to startle you. I'm sorry."

"It's alright," said Lily. "Anyway, I was just about to leave. It's getting late."

Remus stood in place as she gathered her things. In reality, she hadn't been intending on leaving. She was so absorbed with her melancholy-infused agitation that she hadn't been paying attention to the time. She had holed herself up in one of the darkest corners of the library, and Madam Pince had probably forgotten about her. Her irritation with Greywell, having just had to spend half an hour with him that afternoon, had left her feeling like she really didn't give a care for the rules.

"What are you doing here, anyway?"

"Looking for you, actually."

"For me? Why?"

He gave her a pointed look as he picked up several of her books. "You're meant to be making rounds with James tonight."

Oh, shoot. "I forgot about that."

Remus hummed. "He's already started without you. If we go ahead we'll meet him by the time he gets to the Great Hall."

"Okay. Remus, how did you know to look for me here?"

"Er - intuition."

As they hurried out of the library, he said, "I'm not used to you forgetting about your most noble prefect - er, Head Girl - duties." Remus's voice softened marginally, in the way it always did when he was concerned for someone. "Is everything alright?"

"No. Nothing is."

Remus stayed quiet, patiently waiting for her to continue. He had always been a sweetheart.

"I mean . . . there's the war. You-Know-Who. And I'm tired of the way some of those Slytherins look at me, like I'm dog dung that's somehow found its way inside. And I'm tired because Sev - because Snape is . . . I mean, you can tell. It's over. He's already with them. If I'm being honest, he was with them when we were still friends, basically. And . . . and Potter is getting on my nerves. And so is Greywell. And what's-her-face."

Lily exhaled, frowning. Remus was watching her, and as usual, she had no idea what he was thinking. Sometimes she envied that in him. He was always controlled, collected. She had never been like that, not really. Lily was fairly certain that the entire world was always able to understand exactly what she felt at every given moment. It didn't help that Remus was such a good friend, and there was something about his quiet prodding that always ensured she was going to tell him exactly what she was thinking about, even if she didn't want to do so.

For a few moments, he didn't say anything. But then, finally: "It's a lot."

Lily laughed humorously. "Too right it is."

Remus must have realized that there wasn't a lot that could be said to appease her because he didn't say anything after that. Instead, the two of them walked in friendly, if not-quite-comfortable, silence.

The corridors of Hogwarts always seemed cold, eerie, even vaguely dangerous at this time of night to her. She had made plenty of rounds in the late evening as a part of her prefect duties, and ever since being named Head Girl the time she spent making rounds had increased. The fact that they had to happen with Potter, of all people, did not help matters, no matter how much better he had gotten over time.

Lily was so lost in her own mushed thoughts that Remus heard the noise before she did.

"What's wrong?" she asked, as soon as she realized that Remus had stopped walking. He stood a number of steps behind her, his head cocked to the side.

"Shh," he said. "Someone is crying."

Lily closed her eyes and focused. He was right. Someone was crying. The sound was nearly inaudible, unless you were listening for it.

"Where is it coming from?" she whispered.

Remus didn't answer, and instead moved closer to an oak door to the right. She watched as he pressed his ear against the wood. After a moment Remus seemed to be satisfied that that was the correct room, because he rapped his fingers gently and, without waiting for an answer, opened the door. Lily moved quickly to follow after him.

What greeted her was surprising. It was Glenda Erwin, a pretty blond Gryffindor fifth year that had been Potter's girlfriend since the beginning of the school year. With her face red and puffy from the tears, her mascara running down her face, and her hair was less controlled than Lily had ever seen it - well, she looked like a right mess. She was sitting atop an old desk that looked like it hadn't been used by a professor in at least half a century, her shoulders shaking with barely repressed sobs.

"Go away!" Erwin cried. She hadn't looked up. "Just leave me alone."

Lily was overcome with sympathy, as she always was when faced with such emotion. Shoving her own thoughts to the side, she moved to get closer to the crying girl. There was a time for everything, Lily had always believed. There was a time for when the Head Girl needed to put on a stern face and tell stragglers to get a move on, possibly threaten to deduct House points or set up detention. There were other times when the Head Girl needed to be soft and gentle, because being a Head didn't mean being mean; it meant being a leader. And this was one such time.

But as soon as Lily had moved so close to Erwin that they were only mere steps apart, the girl lifted her face to see her intruders. Her blond hair was strewn across her face, and as soon as recognized Lily, her brown eyes turned to steel. "You!" she hissed.

Lily stopped, and from somewhere behind her she could hear Remus moving; most likely retrieving his wand, just in case.

"You - you - you're just awful!"

Lily was thoroughly confused. She was certain she had never spoken more than three sentences to Glenda Erwin throughout their years at Hogwarts, so how this girl felt she had the right to think of Lily as being "awful" was beyond her understanding. Despite herself, she felt the hot coils of anger beginning to spiral within.

"Excuse me?"

"I said you're awful!" shouted Erwin. She hopped down from the old desk suddenly, and Lily took a step back, pulling her wand from her pocket. Things looked like they were going to be bad.

But Erwin just stood there in front of her, glaring at her. When she noticed Remus - who had now moved closer to Lily to offer his support, which she had to admit she was grateful for - she seemed to become angrier. "And you're just as bad!" she spouted.

Remus jumped back a little, seemingly startled at the antagonism, but held his ground. "Glenda -"

"DON'T START! Just don't. I'm going. Back to the Common Room. You don't have to tell me. I don't care. I don't care anymore."

And with one last choked sob, she ran from the room, leaving the two friends to stand a bit blankly in silence.

"Erm," said Lily. "Erm, I should probably go after her. Or at least one of us should. Prefect duties."

"I suppose one of us should," said Remus, looking for all the world like it was the last thing he wanted to do.

"What was that even about?"

"I think I know."

Lily turned herself around to look at him. "You do?"

He sighed. "I know that James has been thinking a lot lately about, er, calling things off with her. They might have broken up."

"That doesn't answer anything."

"It doesn't?"

"I mean, I get why she would be crying, if her boyfriend just broke up with her," said Lily, "but why are we 'awful,' according to her? Actually, you being James's friend I get that, but why me?"

Remus looked incredulous. "Isn't it obvious?"

"No. Should it be?"

Remus looked down and started picking at a loose thread on his sleeve. "Because he still cares about you, Lily. You're the one he wants."

Something cold filtered into her body at the thought, but she wasn't sure what it was. She and Potter had steadily gotten closer over the last year. He still got on her nerves, but she was sure that he was over her. She had been sure. He didn't ask her out anymore, he didn't do that ridiculous thing with his hair anymore, he didn't . . . no, Remus was wrong.

"You've got to be kidding me."

"Do I look like I'm kidding? James does, Lily. He still cares about you," he said quietly. He was still fiddling with the loose thread, but he looked serious. But then, Remus always looked serious. "Well, I think I'll just go ahead after her then. James should still be nearby the Great Hall if you hurry."

Before she was able to ask him to stop, he fairly ran from the room, and she was left to gather her wits about her and carry on.

Remus was wrong. He had to be wrong. He had to be because she wasn't quite sure what would happen if he wasn't.

Her thoughts were filled with James Potter, as they so often were. In first, second, and third years, about a quarter of her life was spent complaining about Potter to other people, whether it was Marlene and Mary, Sev-Snape, or even her parents.

In fourth year, most students were discovering each other in a very different way than friendship or rivalries. Lily did notice Potter, in that sort of way - but he was such an arrogant prick that she couldn't possibly be attracted to him.

By the end of their fourth year, and all throughout their fifth, Potter had pursued her. He would ask her out nearly every week (if she was lucky, once every three weeks), and every week she would say no. No, no, no. Because she knew what kind of bloke James Potter was. She knew because she would catch him snogging various girls, or every few months he would get a new girlfriend, and he would STILL ask her out. The nerve!

But then things changed, or at least Lily thought they had. After blowing up at Potter at the end of their fifth year, he had stopped pursuing her, and she had thought that meant that he was over her.

Lily's mind was filled with various memories. You couldn't exactly call them friends, but he was becoming less and less of a git. Her friends and his friends occasionally met each other in Hogsmeade and talked, and sometimes they hung out. Sometimes, she and Potter talked, where she found out that he liked Cauldron Cakes, didn't like sugar quills, used to be afraid of merpeople, and had even had a discussion with Dumbledore of the Thing of Grave Importance, too.

James Potter had become less of a two-dimensional arsehat and more of a third-dimensional young man who was mostly nice.

"Tosser," she mumbled. She was going down the Great Stairs now, each step on the stone seeming to reverberate through the entire castle. He was such a fool!

He hadn't changed at all. Remus wasn't right about him - he couldn't be right! Potter hadn't changed at all. He was still acting like a player for no bloody reason. Did it give him a hard-on or something? He was disgusting!

As it happened, Remus had been right about something: James was just walking out of the Great Hall when she trekked down the stairs. He looked more than a bit lost in troubled thought. But at the sound of the footsteps, he turned to her and smiled. It wasn't a real smile, wasn't a full one, and Lily already knew why.

"Remus and I ran into Glenda Erwin on our way here."

James grimaced. "Oh, er, did you?"

She crossed her arms. "Back at it again?"

"What?"

"Back to playing with girls' hearts, not caring about their feelings or the consequences?"

She was angry. It was just like Potter. Lily knew his type: the kind to hang around long enough to get whatever they wanted (whether that was a few snogging sessions or . . . something more), and then leave. Aside from him being a giant git, that was the other reason why Lily never allowed herself to entertain thoughts about him.

"No, it's not like that, Evans!"

Lily scoffed. "Yeah, right."

"It's not," he growled, and for the first time, he was starting to look a bit angry. "Not at all."

"Right. I'm sure."

"It's NOT, dammit!"

Lily flinched. She hadn't meant to do so. She'd seen Potter angry before, of course, but she had never seen him that angry at her. Not even in their more outrageous verbal matches they had had in their previous years (of course, that was usually her getting angry). He was a bit red in the face, and breathing heavily. Potter made a disgruntled noise and ran his hand through his hair in frustration.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly. "I didn't mean to shout at you."

For what felt like forever, neither of them said anything, or even looked at each other. But finally, James took a deep breath and said, "It's not like that. I - think of me however you will, but please don't think that. I hated breaking up with her. I wish we could be together. Great Godric knows everything would be a lot easier if we could."

Lily cocked her head. "What do you mean?"

Lily's anger was gone now, replaced with something that made her feel vaguely uncomfortable. Something disturbingly like warmth and happiness, because while this wasn't a pleasant conversation, she hadn't realized until that very moment how badly she didn't want Potter to go back to his gittish ways. She hadn't realized, until just then, how much she liked the new Potter.

He sighed. "I really don't think you want to know, Evans."

Lily cocked her head to the side, and slowly approached him. Remus wasn't right. He wasn't. "What is it? It's okay, you can say."

His hazel eyes looked pained when they met hers before he directed them to the wall just behind her. "I don't want to be with her. I can't be with her, because I love someone else. I liked Glenda, Evans. I liked her a lot." Potter sighed. "I had hoped that the more time I spent with her, I'd just get over the other person. But . . . that's not happening. And no matter how much I like her, it's not fair to Glenda to keep stringing her on like this."

Lily swallowed. Remus wasn't right.

"That's very . . . respectable of you, James."

Potter looked up at her, surprise etched into her features. "Really? Because I don't think I could possibly feel like a bigger prick right now."

"It's not great that you've been with her for this long and still had feelings for someone else," she allowed. "But . . . you just said that you had hoped your feelings for the other person would disappear. You made a mistake, sure - but breaking things off was the right thing to do. For both of you."

Remus wasn't right.

Potter sighed again and turned back to look at her. His eyes were somewhat mournful, yearning, and though she would never admit it, she felt right then and there that she could probably get lost in them.

Remus wasn't right.

He wasn't.

xxx

A/N: You know, I really like chocolate . . . and reviews are like chocolate . . . so can you please pass on some stuff like chocolate? :D