A/N: I've had this fic posted on AO3 for quite awhile, but since it has received NO REVIEWS I'm bringing it over here in hopes of getting feedback. It was my first ever Drakken/Shego story.
This fic is inspired by two other fanworks. It was first inspired by the fic 'Maslow' by Ninnik Nishukan. It is one of the best Drakken/Shego fics out there in my opinion, and I originally conceived of this fic as an alternate ending. The first kiss and the office scene in this fic were what I had originally written. Bu~t it's in bad taste to rewrite endings to other people's fics, so I put the idea out of my mind. Then I saw a stunning tumblr fanart by TinyMewling called: "Let's be alone, together." which is in turn based on the song "Lonely Together" by Avicii ft. Rita Ora. I recommend listening to the song and viewing the fanart, but before or after reading the fic doesn't matter. So this fanart and song caused me to bring the fic idea back and completely change it from happy ending to angst, and I'm pretty pleased with the result. You can Google the song for yourself. Here's the art link with spaces and an obvious typo you'll need to correct: tinymewling. tumblr. kom/ post/183020331764/lets-be-alone-together
I know I messed up the cover image. I was singing the song in my head while making it and forgot that that wasn't the title of the fic, but I couldn't undo the changes because I have a free cheap picture editor. So...yeah.
The rating of this fic is Mature. All the smut is censored, but you don't have to think too hard about it, hence the rating. I'll appreciate reviews, specifically on how the characters' emotions translate. It's all written from Drakken's POV, so I'm also curious if Shego's real emotions translate in addition to his read of her. This takes place toward the very end of the summer months after "Graduation." This is a oneshot. Enjoy the angst.
Drakken slammed the door of the lair open with a force that nearly cracked the hinges. He pulled off his red bow-tie with one hand and unbuttoned the collar of his dress shirt with the other.
"Finally!" he said, throwing the bow-tie to the ground. "If I have to sit through another one of those...make-nice meetings, I'll have no choice but to capture all of those namby-pamby goody-goodies and...and make them sit through one of my staff meetings!"
Shego rolled her eyes as she pulled the door closed behind him.
"I'm with you, Dr. D. But remember the money?"
Drakken halted and glanced at her over his shoulder, his face twisted into a deep frown.
"We agreed that we'd keep this up long enough to get as much dough as we could, and get your mutation cured," Shego continued.
"Mmh," Drakken grumbled, stretching his arm over his shoulder to scratch at the nape of his neck. The mere mention of the mutant plant formula that still polluted his nervous system caused him to itch all over.
"Besides," Shego chuckled as she plopped onto the sofa. "At the rate we're going, we can also steal a lot of government secrets, too."
Drakken walked back into her field of vision, now scratching furiously at his back with both hands.
"It would be easier," he said, his voice taut, "if we didn't have to keep attending these...mmh...social functions."
Shego had begun pulling her knee-high boots off—one black, one green—but paused to look at him thoughtfully.
"I'll give you that. Much more pretending to care about the safety of the world and I'll gag. But you won't hear me complain about champagne and five-star catering."
Drakken heard her, but had become preoccupied with his scratching. He could still feel the exit points of the vines that had helped him save the world from the Lorwardians earlier that year. And while a team of doctors and scientists had finally found a way to purge his body of his genius mutagen, he would have to live with it for several more months until the cure took full effect. And he hated the feeling of the vines inside him. At least they didn't do anything involuntary anymore.
"Would you cut it out?" Shego's sharp complaint broke through his distraction.
"Ngh, I hate these plants!"
Barefoot now, Shego stood and stretched. "Careful, if they hear you they might decide to turn on you."
Drakken whirled around to face her, his frown deepening when he saw her smug expression.
"That's not funny," he said.
"I dunno, I thought it was pretty good. Equal parts humor and threat of violence."
Drakken smirked then. "Now, now. No evil. We're 'good guys' now, remember?"
Shego rolled her eyes again and started looking for the TV remote.
"Don't ever call me that."
Drakken watched her for a moment, thinking back to that evening's dinner with the representatives from the International Council for Science. Shego had not only been bored with the subject matter, but having to make actual conversation with all of the other...nerds...had been hard on her.
Her performance had been impressive.
"I know what will cheer you up. Would you like to hear about my new plan to destroy Kim Possible?"
Shego stopped feeling between the couch cushions and turned back toward him quizzically.
"What happened to, 'not even a hint of evil, Shego,'" she quoted, badly mocking his voice, "'We have to convince those fools that we're good'?"
Drakken rubbed his hands together and turned to head deeper into the lair, beckoning her with a mischievous glance. She rose and followed.
"I've kept it from you for that very reason."
"What?" she asked, jogging to catch up and match his pace.
"I call it 'Operation Freshman Failure!'" he said as he reached his computer, grinning wickedly.
Shego stopped short. "Oh, no. Don't tell me this is going to be the Li'l Diablos again?"
"Nothing of the sort," Drakken said, bringing up a folder full of text and image files on the monitor. "This is entirely about getting Kim Possible out of the picture. Once she's out of the way, I can focus on taking over the world."
Shego stepped closer and began reading off the file names. "'Student guide to balancing stress.' 'How to work while in college full time.' 'How to have a long-distance relationship.' What is all of this?"
"It's really quite simple, Shego," he said, facing her with a wild grin. "Kim Possible is accustomed to being 'all that.' But once she moves away from Middleton for college, the pressure she'll be under to maintain her hero persona while making the grade will be astronomical!"
Shego raised a skeptical eyebrow and shifted her weight, resting her hand on her hip. "What makes you think she's suddenly going to stop having a handle on her life?"
"Because, I have researched everything she will need to be successful and I'll see to it that nothing will work in her favor!" he exclaimed, raising his arms above his head triumphantly.
Shego stared back boredly.
"You scoff," he continued, "but look at this."
He sat at the desk and began working the keyboard, opening file after file.
"Access to the class schedule at her university. She'll never graduate in four years if the courses she needs are always overlapping and only offered once in a year! Not to mention that no public transportation runs near her apartment, and the cost for semester parking permits has just increased by fifty percent!"
Shego's frown began to fade and she started looking closer.
"And look what I've done at Middleton Community College," he continued. "Her buffoon of a boyfriend will always have classes during her free time, so he won't be able to join her when she goes out hero-ing. That way we won't have to worry about any blue monkey freakiness."
"'Hero-ing' isn't a word," Shego said, but the criticism was half-hearted.
"And see here," he said, switching to another file, "I've put synthodrones in strategic locations to make sure she can't rise to popularity among her peers, either. The captain of the cheer squad, her apartment building manager, the college department deans... It may take awhile, but heed my words Shego—Kim Possible will be broken before the end of her freshman year!"
"Wait..." Shego said, looking at images of the synthodrones. "You can't have possibly gotten all these synthodrones into those jobs."
"Au contrair," he replied with a horrible French accent. "I simply replaced the real people with these copies!"
"What!?" Shego cried. "Then...where are the real ones?"
Drakken pushed a set of commands on the keyboard and brought up his security feed. Shego's jaw dropped as she saw more than a dozen people behind bars in the dungeon, guarded by the hapless henchmen.
"I...I don't believe it," she said, shaking her head. "It's not even realistic."
Drakken chuckled evilly, the sound coming from deep in his throat as he stood and faced her again.
"And the finishing blow? Just imagine. While Kim Possible's spirit is gradually broken by the harsh realities of adulthood, I'll be everyone's golden boy! Slowly but surely stealing all of the world's latest scientific and technological breakthroughs. Finally, I will be 'all that,' and she will be crushed by my newfound glory. And when the moment is right I shall reveal myself once more as the most evil genius the world has ever known!"
He ended his rant with a maniacal laugh and a clumsy pirouette of joy.
"Just think of it, Shego! Taking all of it from under their noses as they wine and dine me!"
Shego sat back against the edge of his desk and watched him, her expression sobering.
"And all I need is to be patient— What?" he said, noticing her stern face.
"When did you do all of this?" she asked. "I mean...I had no idea."
Drakken rubbed his hands together and stepped towards her again. "I admit, it was difficult keeping it secret since you're always leaning over my shoulder. But if you had no idea, then neither does anyone else!"
He raised his hands again with a grin of triumph, but Shego looked away and hugged herself with one arm.
"What?" Drakken asked again, lowering his arms. "Aren't you excited?"
Shego didn't look at him. "I was just...wondering if I fit into this," she said with feigned nonchalance. It was lost on Drakken.
"What do you mean? I can't take over the world without you."
She looked back at him. "But like you said, this is just...a waiting game. To see if maybe Kim Possible breaks in several months."
Drakken frowned in confusion. "The wait will be worth it when she does."
"Look. Doc. This is a good job, and I don't want to leave again. There are no decent sidekick positions out there. But I'm not down with playing 'hero' for months, or maybe a year. You may enjoy all of their praise and attention, but I don't. This is driving me crazy."
"Shego, if we give in to our true natures now, we'll be right back where we were before those aliens came."
Shego pushed herself off the desk and advanced on him.
"Look, clearly you don't need me. So either we get back to doing evil, or you're on your own."
Drakken's frown deepened. He folded his arms across his chest and raised his chin defiantly.
"Well I'm your boss, and I say we wait until we can get more out of this 'good' charade."
Shego kept on toward him until they were nearly toe-to-toe.
"Evil," she insisted.
"We wait!" he snarled.
"Evil!"
He raised his chin higher and then his frown turned upward into an imperious grin. "We wait, because you have no other choice!"
She grabbed his lapels and rose on her toes to glare at him nose-to-nose, her teeth bared angrily. But he only grinned at her.
She shoved him away with a disgusted grunt and walked several paces away, stopping with her back to him and crossing her arms.
"If you leave, Global Justice will catch you before you can even attempt any evil. So you're going to have to do things my way," he said smugly.
He eyed her as he waited for her response, but it didn't come. And after several seconds her posture slumped. His grin faded and his brow twisted in confusion. He couldn't see her, due to her hair hiding her entire frame save the hem of her green mini-dress and the backs of her legs.
"Shego?" he finally asked.
She didn't respond, so he walked around her to face her—giving her a wide berth as he did so—and then approached her when he saw her downcast face and closed eyes.
"Shego? What, uh...what is it?"
He watched as her brows knitted and her frown deepened, and he almost took a step back. He was all too familiar with her sudden outbursts that often left him singed from her green glow. But he didn't.
"I...I know you want to do evil now, but...well, if you think about it, we are doing evil. Since we're deceiving all of them, even Kim Possible into thinking that we're good. One might say it's the most evil part of it all—"
He stopped as she opened her eyes and looked at him. Her expression was blank and unreadable. Looking at him without looking at him, she closed the short distance between them.
"Uh...Shego?"
He opened his mouth to continue, but was cut off when Shego set her hands on his shoulders and kissed him.
His eyes widened and he stared down at her closed ones, all of his thoughts evaporating.
Seconds passed, and she didn't release him. He was suddenly aware of exactly what her lips on his felt like.
Hesitantly he began to kiss her back. But then like the crack of a whip, he came to his senses and pushed her away.
He closed his eyes tightly as he caught his breath, afraid of what he might see in her eyes. His hands were still grasping her shoulders where he had pushed her, and he felt her shift her weight.
Her kiss had awakened all of the secret and suppressed feelings he had never allowed himself to even imagine. But now they assaulted him against his will. Catching his breath, he forced the thoughts away and bade his rational mind take command.
Thankfully, it did, with the obvious question: Why on earth had she done that?
He grit his teeth and shook his head as the answer easily came.
"You..." he said, his eyes still closed, "are so evil."
Finally, he opened his eyes, but fixed his gaze over her head. He didn't trust himself to look her in the face just yet.
"What?" she replied. And in the back of his mind, he noted that her voice sounded weaker than usual. And just a bit confused.
Stepping around her, he grabbed her wrist and began pulling her along with him through the stone halls. They had moved back to the old lair since it was easier for him to get mail there, and a certain filing cabinet in his private office was his current goal.
When he reached the room he released her and pulled open the familiar drawer and drew out the needed file after years of practice. He threw it down on the desk with more force than he intended as he sat down and set to waking his personal computer from sleep.
"Why...did you get out my contract?" Shego asked hesitantly after several seconds.
Drakken was already typing into a document thick with text. "To add to the sexual harassment amendment," he said flatly.
"...What?" Shego asked again.
Drakken gave her a sideways glance. He paused in his typing when he noticed how far away she was, and how she had seemed to curl in on herself. But only for a moment.
"I suppose this should have been in there from the beginning, for fairness's sake," he said. Having finished, he saved the document and printed the page with the new data. And picking up a pen, he signed an ostentatious double-D next to the new line of text. "Here. Read it and initial."
Shego slowly stepped forward and peered down at the paper.
Below the lengthy paragraphs about all the ways that Drakken and the henchmen couldn't behave toward her that had been negotiated when he first hired her was was a single sentence: "Employee shall not engage in any sexual behavior toward Employer or other Employees without mutual consent. See Paragraph 1 for definition of 'sexual behavior' and 'mutual consent.'"
Shego blinked twice and then took a step back from the desk, her posture still bent. Her expression had been completely blank before, but now she looked surprised and...almost sad.
Drakken frowned and looked between her and the contract. "What? What are you waiting for?"
"Dr. D., what if... What if there was mutual consent?"
He blinked in confusion. She had hunched over farther and now closed her eyes, hugging herself tightly.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean...if two people under contract...wanted to be together..."
Drakken scratched the back of his neck in confusion. Was she interested in a henchman? No, of course not, they were all repulsive simpletons. But then why...?
She opened her eyes and glanced sideways at him, not quite meeting his eyes.
Drakken's mind was racing.
She couldn't actually mean...could she?
No. He refused to let himself think along those lines. He never had, and he never would. Especially now that she had kissed him. It was just asking for heartache and pain. Especially pain. Most of it from Shego's glow.
And yet...
He took an anxious breath. His heartbeat began to quicken.
"Y-...you mean...? But, you...you couldn't really... Really? No, you're just mocking me again. ...A-aren't you?"
He stood up behind the desk and faced her, his eyes wide. She straightened just slightly and turned her face to look at him.
"I'm...consenting," she said quietly.
His lips parted in a gasp as he stared at her. It couldn't be. He had never even allowed himself to think...
He cautiously lifted a hand and reached for her across the desk. She slowly mirrored his action until their fingers were only centimeters apart. He blinked at her uncertainly, holding his breath. But her hurt, sad expression never changed.
He closed the distance and placed his fingers on the back of her hand while his thumb began gently stroking her palm.
He had touched Shego countless times over the years, but for the first time he let himself feel as he did so. And what he felt was electricity. Like an endless current, each stroke of his thumb against her palm sent another wave of tingles through his entire body until he began to feel weak in his knees.
Fearing collapse, he stepped out from behind the desk and quickly approached her. It was as if a barrier had been broken, and again they mirrored one other as their other hands grasped each other's upper arms.
He continued rubbing her palm as they stared into each other's eyes, both full nearly to the breaking of hopes and uncertainties.
"Shego..." he said disbelievingly as she rose up on tip-toe, her hand sliding up to his shoulder.
She looked up at him through half-lidded eyes, expectant, but waiting. And as she leaned forward to meet his lips with hers, he finally let hope break through.
This time he didn't wait and kissed her back immediately. He let go his rational mind and simply felt: her lips soft against his, her hand gripping his bicep, his thumb stroking her bare shoulder. And he kissed her for a long time, he realized, as suddenly his vision swam and he gasped for air. But she barely gave him a moment before her lips were pressing against his again.
He didn't know at what point he had stopped holding her hand, but he suddenly found that both of his hands were on her waist, his fingertips and the heels of his palms kneading and rubbing her flesh beneath her dress.
He let one hand drop to her thigh, where the obscenely high slit in her green mini-dress exposed her skin, and he lightly trailed his fingers up her leg until they met the fabric again.
With a gasp she broke the kiss and blinked up at him in surprise.
The want in her eyes gave him confidence, and he let his hands move higher, past her waist and traveling slowly up the front of her rib cage. She sucked in a sharp breath in response to the touch she clearly hadn't expected from him. And inwardly he cursed his small hands that prevented him from doing more.
Her breaths quickened as she stared at him, overcome and disbelieving.
"Dr. D..." she breathed, her voice soft with awe.
A single step eliminated the remaining space between their bodies and he kissed her again, pressing into her as if somehow in doing so he could capture her soul.
When he was forced to break for air again, her expression had changed. Her gaze was warm and her lips had curled into a soft smile.
"Come on," she said gently, just above a whisper. And linking her arms through one of his, she led him out of his office and down the stone hall to his other private room.
He was breathless as her arms wrapped tighter around him with every kiss, her fingers raking through his hair. Warmth spread through his body, starting in his chest and going all the way down to his toes as she kissed him with abandon. He didn't dare stop her for fear it was all a dream. And the thought occurred that if he did suffocate, it wasn't at all a bad way to go.
/ / /
"But...most men like it?" she asked in confusion.
"Well, I don't," he insisted. "It's degrading. You're worth far more than that."
He was a bit surprised to see her cheeks flush under the accidental compliment.
/ / /
She was annoyed each time he hesitated. Each repeated 'Are you sure?' was met with an impatient growl and complaint.
It finally hit him that she wanted him to take the lead. So he did.
The look of need and trust in her eyes that resulted was completely unexpected. And he felt a strange responsibility rise in him the longer she looked at him that way.
/ / /
Her breath mingling with his. His name on her lips. Their skin in constant contact...
There were moments of instinct, and moments of exploration. There were cries of ecstasy and quiet conversations. There were kisses that were gentle and designed to entice, and there were kisses that were desperately animal and fulfilling a need.
But what he deliberately focused on and wanted to remember was her eyes. When she looked at him he could see a struggle inside, and he wondered how long it had been there and why he had never noticed it before. There were moments when he thought she would let him see what was beneath, and every time she would turn away and leave him wondering.
But when her eyes were closed was when she would smile, and it was then he knew what was in her soul.
He had never felt more complete.
Time had passed. He didn't know how much. And now that all was still and calm again, he wondered. All he knew was that several years' worth of suppressed emotion and desire had finally been loosed. And since that seemed to be exactly what she wanted he hadn't held anything back.
Now, he was exhausted. But he was too overwhelmed with this new reality to sleep, so instead he listened to the silence. The room that had previously been filled with growls, moans, and shrieks was now quieter than perhaps it had ever been.
They both lay on their right sides, pressed closely together. Most of Shego's hair was trapped beneath his shoulder and his head as he held her close to him with his arm around her. Being careful not to pull any of the long tresses, he leaned up on his other elbow so he could look at her face. Her eyes were closed, and she wore a contented smile. But he could tell by her breathing that she was awake.
Starting just below her ear, he began placing a trail of tiny kisses along her jawline. He smiled when a delighted chuckle sounded from deep in her throat.
"Shego. I love you."
He felt her breath catch as her eyes opened. And he caught the briefest glimpse of a terrified look in them before she suddenly pulled away from him and sat on the edge of the bed.
"Shego?" he asked.
She quickly stood and stepped away from the bed, keeping her back to him. Just like earlier, all he could see of her was her gravity-defying hair and the backs of her legs.
He sat up. "Shego?"
Several seconds passed, and then an amused chuckle sounded from somewhere amid her dark hair. She ran her fingers through it to smooth it and then glanced over her shoulder with a wicked grin.
"Oh, Doc. You're cute, but I didn't think you were that dense."
He crossed his legs and gathered the edges of the blanket into his lap.
"What do you mean?"
"I'm sorry to be blunt, but sex isn't love," she answered, her voice still light with amusement.
He frowned at her tone. "I know that," he grumbled.
She laughed again. "Well, then you'd better start thinking before you speak, or you'll end up saying something stupid like that in front of someone else."
His jaw dropped. A familiar shrinking feeling had begun to envelop him, but he fought against it. "I— It's—!" His frown deepened as he growled back at her. "It's not stupid and I...I..." he took a deep breath, "I think you love me too."
Her eyes widened again in that scared look that he caught only a glimpse of before she turned away. But this time she looked back at him far more quickly. She was still smirking at him, but now with just a hint of annoyance.
"I'll go easy on you since you probably don't 'get any' very often. And..." she turned around then to face him, her hands on her hips. He felt blood rush to his cheeks and other extremities as she stood unashamedly naked before him. "I'll give it to you, Doc. You're good. I could do this again. So I'll tell you what—you ever need some help, you know where to find me. But it's just sex, nothing more," she finished emphatically, her smirk vanishing in an instant.
He watched her as she bent to pick up her dress and other things and saw that strange, undefinable look in her eyes from back in the lab. And then he knew.
"You're lying," he said coldly.
She turned to him with narrowed eyes. "What?"
He stood up and quickly began pulling his trousers on, but kept his gaze fixed on her. "You're lying. You do love me. This wasn't just...just sex."
Her eyes widened in shock, probably at his boldness, he thought, before she scoffed at him and resumed gathering her things. "You're even dumber than I thought," she retorted. "Maybe I won't do this again."
Anger began to replace the insecurity she had tried to bury him in, and a dormant instinct awakened within him.
As she walked toward the door, he focused his thoughts until two vines sprang violently from his back and snatched her up by the wrists.
"Hey— What!?" she cried as her clothes fell from her hands and the vines held her aloft, wrapping again and again around her arms and legs until she couldn't struggle any further.
He grinned wickedly as the vines pinned her flat against the wall, arms above her head and feet off the ground with her legs spread.
"What are you doing!? Ngh, let me go!"
He rubbed his hands together and approached her. "If I were a certain kind of evil...this could be very interesting."
She gasped as she looked down at him, genuine fear in her eyes. His grin broadened. She ignited her glow and shot toward the vines, but her hands had been pinned too high and the vines were too numerous.
"Very interesting, indeed," he said slowly.
He made a show of looking her up and down, starting from her toes and working his way to her face, but spending particular time on certain areas in the middle. He was even more delighted when he reached her eyes and saw not only the fear, but doubt. She really didn't know what he would do. And it made his evil heart soar.
"Hmm," he smiled, and then reached behind him and picked up his blue robe from the floor where it had fallen from the bed earlier.
Slowly, the mutant vines began to unravel and he approached her again as they lowered her to the ground and finally, painfully returned into his body.
She stared at him in fearful awe as he held the robe open.
"But I'm not that kind of evil."
She didn't speak as she accepted the offer the robe, sliding her arms into the sleeves as he held it up and then wrapped it tight around her.
She continued to stare at him wide-eyed after the robe was cinched, licking her lips as her breathing began to even out. She didn't back away when he stepped closer.
"I love you," he said.
For the first time she didn't turn, and he saw fully the indecision and pain the words brought her.
She backed away from him toward the door.
"Stop saying that!" she cried as she turned and fled the room, her clothing forgotten.
Only a few minutes later he stood outside her door, still shirtless, and holding her neatly folded dress and unmentionables.
"Shego?" he said, knocking. There was no reply.
He turned the knob, but the door was predictably locked. Thankfully he had made certain that the only locks in his lair were electronic, and it was less than a minute before he had circumvented the code and was inside.
He had only been in her room once, back before it had been hers and was simply another part of the lair, and he noted immediately how different it was from his own. It reminded him, in fact, like the room at his mother's house he had had as a teenager in its almost too-small dimensions and cramped surroundings.
But it had its own bathroom, and the sound of running water told him Shego was within.
He set the clothes on the oddly-shaped bed and without knocking opened the bathroom door.
"Shego—"
The piercing, prolonged shriek she gave caused him to cover both ears in pain. But he didn't budge.
"Ngh, come out here!" he shouted.
"Get out!" she retorted.
"No! Not until you answer me truthfully," he said, drawing himself up again in the door frame.
The shower hadn't had time to steam, and he could see clearly her green figure and furious frown within.
He picked up his robe from where she had hung it on the towel rack and opened it for her again. A few moments later, the water was turned off and she slid open the glass.
"Ahem," she said pointedly, hiding behind the glass door.
"Oh please," he said, but averted his eyes anyway.
When she was dressed in the blue garment again, he backed a step out of the door and held it open with one hand. She dried her face and hands for a long time on a towel until he cleared his throat.
"What?" she said, frowning at him.
He gestured sharply with his head out the door, and she rolled her eyes with an exaggerated sigh and stepped through.
She stopped several paces into the room and turned to face him, her jaw set in anger. And...were her eyes red?
"Okay. What?" she growled.
He flinched under her coldness, but drew himself up again and stepped toward her.
"I want an honest answer from you."
"About what?" she asked.
"About..." he blinked in disbelief and then frowned. "About...about us. About you and me."
She laughed that wicked and amused laugh again, but her frown remained. "There is no 'us,' Doc. I already told you."
"And I told you that I don't believe you," he said, stepping closer.
She crossed her arms. "Then you're in for a lot of disappointment, Dr. D."
"Well, why not?"
She blinked quizzically. "What?"
He set his hands on his hips angrily. "Why isn't there an 'us'?"
She turned around again, but this time he grabbed her upper arm and stepped around her to face her. "No, not this time," he said. She had already turned her head away and tried to step back, but he grabbed her other arm and held on tight. "Tell me to my face."
She turned back to him with an angry glower. "Fine." She raised her chin and looked him straight in the eyes. "Because you're a stupid, old man with no goals and who changes his ambition on a dime. You're never going to take over the world, and I don't think you're really evil enough to try."
He blinked at her, his expression unwavering as he let her words sink in.
"And I don't think you want to take over the world, anyway. All you really want is for people to like you. You're only evil because good didn't work out for you. But me?" her eyes narrowed, "I'm really evil," she said.
"Ow!" he cried as suddenly her glow ignited from both hands and hit his chest directly. He released her and staggered backward, hands cupped carefully over his singed skin.
"See, Doc," she said, approaching him with a wicked grin, "I'm actually evil," she shot him in the shoulder, "and I'm not afraid of crossing the line," she shot him in the foot.
"Agh!" he cried again, falling to one knee. "S-stop!" He had too many burns now to hold and looked up at her pleadingly.
She kept on toward him until he had to crane his neck to see her face, and she looked down at him now with disgust.
"You know...you don't really pay me enough anyway. Maybe I'll just go take over the world by myself." She admired her glow in one hand as she rested the other on her hip.
"Shego, p-please, don't go! I need you!"
She extinguished the glow and crossed her arms in boredom. "Really?" She drew the word out sarcastically. "Your stupid stress-the-princess plan doesn't involve me at all. And I already told you I'm not keeping up this 'good-guy' routine."
He let go of his pained shoulder to grab the hem of her—his—robe with one hand as he pleaded with her. "W-we can forget the good-guy plan. We can go back to the way things were."
"Hm," she said, her smirk finally returning. "Now this is how I like my men. Cowering at my feet."
He looked down at the rug, his face falling. But he looked up again when he felt her kneel down and found her face only inches from his.
"So let me tell it to you again. We go back to pure, world-destroying evil. Even if it means scrapping every ridiculous long-term plan you've cooked up without me."
He swallowed nervously. "A-all right."
"Good. Now get out so I can shower."
She turned away and headed back to the bathroom. He painfully stood up again, all of his weight on his uninjured foot.
"But...Shego?"
She glared back at him over her shoulder, her long hair swaying with the suddenness of her turn.
He took a breath and stood up taller, his cauterized skin tearing with pain at the effort. He looked at her openly, prepared for anything.
"I love you."
She closed her eyes and turned away sharply. He heard the hiss of her quick intake of breath followed by a slow release. Then she turned back and he was stunned to see her looking at him with equal honesty.
"I don't love you," she said, punctuating each word. "Now stop embarrassing yourself."
She held his gaze. And slowly, he felt all of the hope he had released—the years of dreams and desires he had never given presence of mind to—begin crumbling into nothing. And the pain in his heart was greater than anything her glow could ever do to him.
He felt weak in the knees again and his vision swam as he stumbled backward against her wall. But he measured his breaths and slowly regained his footing.
Cautiously, he looked at her and was surprised to see a hint of relief and sadness in her eyes. Both quickly vanished when she realized he was watching her.
A tiny spark of hope returned.
"I understand," he said levelly. He watched her blink in surprise. "And I love you anyway."
She continued blinking at him, teeth gritted tightly together. But then her lower lip began to tremble, and her eyes filled with uncertainty. He let go of the support of the wall and took one careful step forward, lifting his hand toward her again as he had first done back in his office.
Her gaze fell from his eyes to his hand. The spark of hope grew and he took another step toward her.
But then her eyes hardened and she looked up at him bitterly.
"Get out!" she cried loudly.
He took only one step back, startled, with his hand still extended.
"But...Shego..."
"I said get out!" she screamed, this time firing her glow at him from both hands.
He jumped to dodge the burning masses that were aimed at his feet and stumbled toward the door. When he was halfway through it, he paused and looked back.
"This...this doesn't change anything," he said.
"Rragh!" she roared and fired at him again.
He slammed the door shut and ran several paces down the hall before stopping and leaning heavily against the cold stone, partially from the pain of the burns, and partially from the devastation he felt.
He sank slowly to the floor and wrapped his arms around his knees, resting his chin atop them as tears pooled in his eyes. He went over everything again in his mind, all the way back to before she had first kissed him and they were talking about his plan.
He couldn't be wrong. Not with the way she had spoken to him, the things she had said... The look in her eyes when she thought he just didn't want her harassing him, and the look in her eyes when she realized he did want her.
And the way she had said his name...
The way she had talked to him like she knew him, whether she was making demands or asking him what he wanted her to do for him. She had let her guard down at every moment, except when he had looked into her eyes with love. That was when the wall had fallen back into place. But it was a transparent wall, and he knew.
She did love him. There was no other explanation.
He turned his gaze back toward her closed door and wondered. The spark of hope began to fade again, and pain constricted his chest with the thought.
Or was it nothing but the best act he had ever seen?
He gently probed the burn on his foot. And shutting his eyes tightly, he closed the door on the hope and locked his love away again. She had made her intentions clear.
/ / /
Had he been able to see through the stone walls, he would have known the truth.
He would have seen the way she fell to her knees when she was certain he was gone. The way she lifted her hand after him in desperation, only to have it fall to the floor, barely holding her up as she was overcome with pain. The way she breathed in deeply his scent from the robe, yearning for the comfort and strength of him. And the way her tears fell and soaked into the rug amid sobs that she would never let him hear. Because he wasn't wrong.
But she would never let him know.