Alone she continues to wander.

Not yet ready to return to the tribe, not with this hollow feeling in her chest, not when she still has even a vague goal in mind.

She keeps the photo she'd 'borrowed' from Oscar held close, kept safe. Every place she passes through briefly, she brings the picture out, asks if anyone has seen the women in it.

It's ridiculous to hope, and it's no surprise that she's always met with head shakes and polite apologies.

There is a real chance that Oscar's aunt was alive, most in the tribe didn't kill those who ran, only those who fought or those who wouldn't otherwise survive. The farm hadn't been raided, just abandoned. She might be alive but with no leads, there was very little chance of finding her.

With each place she goes, each dead end, she slows a little more.

The days stretch.

They stretch until they're so thin that the colors, tastes, and smells all dull to a murky, jumbled palette.

Some days she wakes then shuts her eyes again just minutes later to drift off again.

She still has that hopeless little goal, without that she isn't all too sure she would bother to keep traveling at all.

She has always been moving forward, she realizes.

This whole time, even when she had thought going to the tribe meant giving up, she had still been moving forward.

Forward was just whatever direction is in front of her.

She doesn't stop moving, after that realization.

Instead, she stops checking her peripherals.

She stops ensuring her weapon is loaded at all times.

She stops wearing her mask in crowds.

She goes three days without eating, and doesn't realize it until she begins to shake and finally feel the clawing at her stomach.

Her first attempt to feed herself after that only results in it being heaved back up soon after as if her body has forgotten what to do with food.

It's a pattern that repeats itself on more than one occasion.

Raven's old lessons of survival are lost on her now.

She is caught once, while in the middle of one of these cycles.

Not physically caught, and not by anyone with ill intentions.

With little energy to bother hunting or foraging, she finds the nearest settlement and gets the cheapest soup in the one quaint restaurant in town.

This time she sincerely has no idea how long it was since she last ate.

That combined with the speed she drank the soup it was no surprise she ended up throwing up in the alley next to the building.

An older woman with a kind face and a bright yellow floral dress that hurts Ruby's eyes to look at is standing there waiting for Ruby to notice her.

Words are exchanged but Ruby has no idea what she's even said, niceties emerge from her lips automatically in a voice that's damaged from bile.

All she knows is she ends up back in the restaurant with a cup of tea in front of her.

She blinks a couple times, realizing she's being spoken to again, by the lady who was now sitting across from her with a patient look.

"I'm sorry, what?" She mumbles.

"I said to drink up girly, this is easy on the stomach I promise."

"Oh, right, thanks," She takes the smallest sip she can, it tastes no different than most any other tea does to her, which is to say not amazing but her stomach doesn't lurch this time.

"Seems you're having a rough day about it," The woman comments.

Ruby has learned how to do the meaningless small talk in towns, to get information, but she is far from in the mood for it so she just shrugs.

"Hmm, and what brings a pretty young woman such as yourself doing around here?"

It's odd, pretty isn't a word she'd attribute to herself at this point, less so than she ever would have.

Ruby's doubtful it's sincere even, after days without proper sleep or food she must have looked like a mess.

"Nothing, I guess," She shrugs a second time.

There's something in the lady's expression, this expectation of more and this slight sternness.

"I was looking for someone, but it doesn't matter." The words slip out without her permission.

"Looking for who, then? And drink more."

Ruby takes another small sip, pulling out the photo, the one thing she still keeps carefully stored. She still plans to get it back to Oscar somehow, eventually. "The woman, specifically."

Her eyes fall on the picture. She tilts her head.

When she looks back up at Ruby, there's a glint in her eyes. "You might not think it, but fates are in your favor, girl. Believe she was headed to Fenas, when she passed through. Was a while past, but she meant to settle there. That's a few days walk south of here, if you hussle."

It's all too coincidental, Ruby didn't believe it fully.

Still there's this slight relief, of the chance that time hadn't been entirely wasted.

"Thank you," She sits quietly, slowly finishing the tea to appease the woman who kept her attention with idle town gossip.

She has a lead now, a new direction to go, onward and forward yet again.

An hour out of the little settlement, south towards Fenas, Ruby slows to a stop.

She stares ahead, then turns on her heels, off onto an entirely different and unknown path.

Next time she has a pen, she scribbles the name of the town on the back of the photo, hides it away again, and tries to forget all about it. She doesn't want to know.

Aimless now, truly and utterly aimless she keeps moving for no other reason than but restless energy that flows through her and makes her muscles ache if she stays still for too long.

A monster catches the scent of a beast, and she is not safe.

She never was anyways. She doesn't care.

It is this careless, goalless wandering that she finds something else before she herself is found.

Alone she finds that pervasive terrible feeling finally being soothed without her noticing.

Not alone, though, not really.

Alone is where she finds her bloodlust waning.

It is only when she begins to linger around strangers, taking odd jobs, and staying in towns for more than a night does she start to learn what the space between or beyond numb and furious feels like.

In a dark and bleak world, there were still those who shone brightly.

Not always out of ignorance and innocence, but out of stubbornness too, out of spite for that darkness- or out of love for the light.

In one town, a little boy dashes up to her and wordlessly hands her a white rose.

He points to the faded and scratched emblem she still wears at her hip.

She doesn't understand his reasoning really, but thanks him with a not all too forced smile.

She learns later, talking to others around, that he has no one home to speak of.

He watched his parents killed in front of him and now the whole town parents him, in different ways.

Some with food, or shelter, others with lessons taught with gentle words or harsh scoldings.

He doesn't speak much, especially not to strangers, but each and every one of the villagers say he's always aimed to make people smile.

Then there's an older man, in a smaller settlement, who at first thinks her to be a huntress and offers her lien to protect the town.

He walks in a hobbling way with a crutch, missing one leg and the other leg full of inflammation at every joint.

Prosthetics are expensive and certainly hard to come by this far out from the cities.

When she turns down his money, he gives a sad smile and talks to her.

He knows everyone in the settlement so well, he knows their troubles, their favorite foods, their children's first words, he is their guardian and he speaks of every one of them with deep pride.

She refuses his money, but goes hunting that night all the same.

The settlement will be free of Grimm, for a bit longer at least.

There's a baker family who had owned the same business in the same building for many generations.

Ruby has not offered them anything when they learn this odd stranger knows next to nothing about baking.

They wholeheartedly insist on teaching her the basics after she clears the area of.

She has a small recipe book among her possessions now with the instructions for sourdough bread, scones, and several different types of cookies.

Rarely does she have access to a kitchen to bake, but she'll never forget how to make those things even so.

There is a man who watches over his sickly, wrinkly, elderly mother.

She is known to wander away in confusion frequently, and cries out in pain at night, howling so loud it can be heard from a distance.

In moments of clarity, that old woman weaves beautiful half finished scarves and shawls.

In her worst moments she lashes out at her adult son who does all he can to care for her.

Ruby picks herbs for them, familiar ones she has had to use more times than she wants to think about.

She leaves the man with two different pouches, one that might ease his mother's pain for small bouts of time, and the other that will give her a peaceful and endless sleep.

It is their choice to make,

perhaps they have more happy moments to share before that choice is made,

or perhaps tonight is the old woman's last.

Ruby doesn't stay to find out.

There's a rotund orange cat perching on a log outside a cabin Ruby is passing by.

There are many cats around actually, but this particular one sees it as his duty to hop down and disappear inside the cabin, summoning the occupant.

A very pregnant woman with bright blue eyes and curly hair pokes her head out in greeting.

Ruby expects it to be a friendly passing wave until the woman sees her scythe and gasps.

"Did you build that yourself?" The stranger asks.

It had always been a rarity to have someone other than children be so genuinely intrigued with her weapon.

It brought a familiar but long forgotten look of pride to her face as she nodded, willingly extending the weapon to be seen. "I did, I mean I haven't made any modifications to it in forever, but I did build it."

"What do you use to reinforce the chamber? It's dust compatible right, so it has to be something pretty sturdy that doesn't cause the dust to activate prematurely. I would say regular steel but that conducts heat too well..." The woman stops herself then, looking up sheepishly.

"Oh sorry, that was rude. I haven't even introduced myself. It's just that I own a blacksmithing and weapon's shop, my husband is looking after it for now, because, well." She gestures to her stomach.

"I'm a little stir-crazy I guess. Anyways, I'm Cypress, and what I was trying to say was- you have a very interesting weapon."

Ruby laughs quietly. "It's okay. You don't need to explain. I used to say I liked weapons better than people which… might still be true." She shrugs.

Conversation comes much more easily now, not just because of the topic, but because of practice.

She still habitually avoids offering her name, and still has been given various names throughout the places she wanders.

"There's a layer of thermal resistant plastic on the inside, it took some adjusting to be able to handle more than one type of dust cartridge. I usually use regular bullets anyway, it's hard to get dust while traveling."

"Would you like to come inside for a bit? I've got plenty of other questions if you have a little time to spare."

The thing about wandering is, she has all the time in the world to spare now.

Ruby nods, following the woman inside where even more cats were lazing about, watching from all corners of the room.

Hours pass rapidly. Most conversations Ruby has involve her listening far more than speaking, but given a topic she loves so deeply that reveals little about herself, she participates fully. Her throat is dry from the unusual amount of talking when the front door opens and in comes a lanky man with mouse ears, a faunus.

A few of the cats hop down from their perches to meet him with demanding meows.

He looks first at his wife.

"Hi honey," He greets, adoration shining in his eyes before he notices the guest. "Who's this?"

"This is…" The woman pauses, but Ruby doesn't offer up an interjection. "A new friend! She built her own weapon, we were just chatting about that but wow I guess time sure flew quickly."

The man chuckles, waving at Ruby as he goes to get the cats their dinner. "I thought we were just sticking to bringing in stray cats, not stray humans too." He teased. "But hi, I'm Mish."

It occurs to Ruby that this couple was young, probably not far off from her own age at all. She knows little about them they seem so happy and full of love, so sure of the life they have carved out together.

They are so sure of a good future that they even are expecting a child together.

She's tuned out, caught in her own thoughts.

"She knows her way around weapons and materials, Mish, she'd be great help at the shop." The woman blurted out.

Ruby only caught the last part of what was said, and her confusion must show on her face because the man laughs again.

"I was joking about taking her in like a stray, you have to at least ask her first you know?" He reminds her.

"Oh! Right, sorry. Anyways would you be interested in helping out there? My husband is great, but it's a lot of work to do and I can't get back out there until I have this baby. We'll pay you, of course, and if you want you can stay here in the guest room."

That is how Ruby spent three weeks working in a blacksmith's shop.

It is hard work, but it keeps her occupied and it's something she knows a bit about.

She leaves one evening, before the couple's child is born, with well wishes and an open invitation to come back any time.

They never did learn her name.

She leaves there with another decision made. Being a wanderer suits her.

She has found not purpose or peace, but a calmness without numbness.

That is more than enough, more than she deserves.

More than she deserves and fate knows it.

Not more than three days later,

the monster closes in on the beast.

Enemies of the past are so distant, they are enemies of a person she no longer is.

It makes no difference.

Cinder is one of the last people Ruby expects to ever see again.

So when Cinder confidently approaches her in the outskirts of a ruined town, Ruby doesn't react immediately.

Reflexes kick in eventually though.

Fleeing gives her better chances of survival than fighting might.

Ruby can fight dirty now, can fight remarkably well, but Cinder has Maiden's powers.

So in a burst of petals Ruby is off, or she would be if she hadn't waited too long, if Cinder hadn't already gotten the jump on her and stopped her physically with the full force of her body.

If fleeing isn't an option, then fighting is all she has.

Well, not all she has.

She has her eyes too, but time is not on her side to activate them.

So she fights, scythe, tooth, and nail.

It's taking too long, Cinder is toying with her.

If she wants Ruby dead, it could have been done already.

Cinder sees that realization in Ruby's eyes and grins, bloodlust with not a trace of humanity left.

If she's going to take her time, then Ruby has time too.

She tunes into the rhythm of the fight, until her body can react on it's own.

Mentally she's a mile away, in a mediation of sorts.

Happy thoughts, love, protecting others, preserving life.

There used to be a time her eyes would activate just looking at Cinder, just her innate need to protect her friends kicking in.

Here she has no one to save but herself.

Happy thoughts.

She sees a life flash before her eyes, not the one she's lived, but one that might have been.

Raven never comes to her. She goes back to her teammates and family after killing Ironwood, she tells them all that happened.

They hug her.

They understand- no they don't, but they love her and that's supposed to be enough.

Life goes on and they probably never speak of it again.

Yang might confess her crush to Blake, it goes well. Someday not far in this different future, Ruby has a sister-in-law.

Weiss plans for how to repair the damage her family has done, even as the world is still in peril. She stays one of Ruby's best friends through it all.

Ren and Nora would be the unbreakable force they've always been together. One day they become amazing parents.

Jaune grows to be a better leader than he will ever know. Later he teaches huntsman skills to teenagers who decided their path later than most and never attended combat school before.

She gets to have a girl's night with Penny finally. Neither of them really knows what that means even now, so they spend it playing games.

Uncle Qrow stays sober- or maybe he slips up a couple of times, in dark moments, but he always stands back up. Ruby gets to tell him how proud of him she is.

She gets to see her dad again too. He fusses, and dotes, and cries.

In this life, she learns about Oscar more slowly, in happy, painless moments. With all his gift to see the beast inside her lurking below the surface and still accept her, he is more than willing to listen to her.

But in this life she isn't willing to tell, and even less willing to show.

Because she is happy.

She is supposed to be happy.

But she's not.

She's treading water, barely staying afloat.

Reality sinks back in, that isn't where she is.

And maybe it isn't where she belongs either.

She is fighting Cinder and she needs to think of something happy.

A memory maybe.

The memory of her first discovering her semblance. Uncle Qrow cheered her.

The memory of building a blanket fort with Yang, eating half melted popsicles.

A melody, a memory so distant and hard to place it sounded like she was hearing it through water. A melody that made her feel warm and safe.

It was enough, just enough.

The world goes white as her eyes shine.

It's not enough.

The world goes black as she falls to the ground.

She wakes not more than a handful of minutes later.

Still alive, but bound up with something unyielding.

"Do you know how much I want to cut those eyes out of your skull right now?" Cinder asks as Ruby stirs.

She's brandishing a blade, bringing it down to just barely slice Ruby's cheek.

Blood wets her face and the cut burns. It burns unnaturally, it hurts more than it should and her aura isn't healing it as fast as it should either.

"But, I think I want to see the pain in your eyes before I take care of them. I borrowed a little venom from that annoying scorpion, let's see what it can do."

If Ruby could see the blood trickling down her chin, she'd see the way it began to turn purple rather than rusty brown as it should.

Her head is still fuzzy from using her eyes but she uses what mobility she still has to make things difficult.

"Hold still." Cinder chides, the cut she makes would have been quite shallow if it weren't for Ruby's squirming.

Eventually Ruby obliges for lack of any other choice, and in an effort to focus to use her eyes again.

Cinder traces the pale blue of the veins in Ruby's hands and arms with the tip of the blade.

Ruby waits too long, she doesn't have the energy she needs.

This venom is trickling in with the crawling feeling of a thousand fire ants under her skin.

A monster plays with its prey.

Cinder leaves her like that for a bit, thoroughly confident she has won.

She will get to see Ruby dead, but first she gets to see her suffer.

A beast never goes down willingly.

She is back to struggling with every bit of energy she has, she will go down fighting.

Time has less meaning than it ever has before.

Ruby makes no sounds, for as long as she can manage not to.

Eventually the reality of the blade tracing patterns on her, and Cinder's addition of using her maiden powers to singe close any too-deep cuts blurs into hallucinations which blurs into this hazy nothingness.

Her breaths are shallow and rapid.

She can't open her eyes but maybe that's for the best.

She is fighting her own body now more than she is fighting Cinder.

She doesn't know why she's still fighting it.

A beast does not bow to a monster so willingly.

Time moves strangely with no point of reference she can focus on.

A few things happen in rapid succession.

A noise like fabric tearing.

A knife plunged into her abdomen, then twisted.

Flashing lights, the metallic sound of weapon's hitting each other.

A fight, Ruby realizes right before her last sliver of consciousness bleeds out.