Pop goes the Kanker
I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!
...III...
ANNOUNCEMENT!
I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!
SUMMARY:
On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!
The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.
...III...
"This is cutting off the circulation to my labia." Whimpered Marie as her suite constricted even more...
"Shut up girls. listen, we lay low. We stick to the pool, we stay cool, maybe get some food...and we just don't draw attention to ourselves until mom comes home and unlocks our house." Explains Lee.
"Yeah, the Cul-De-Sac kids are probably still mad at us for the 'lama incident'..." May shudders, "So...much...BLOOD..."
"Oh, well. I mainly meant because I don't want to be caught dead in these pieces of dental floss- gestures to suits -but...yeah, that's an issue too." Admits Lee.
They look in and see the children of the Cul-De-sac. Jerk Kevin, Spoiled Brat Sarah, manipulative Weasel Jimmy...brain-dead blonde Nazz...oh and Rolf and Jimmy...those last two were (kinda)okay, but everyone else was jerks...
"Okay, there all at the snack bar...let's just go to the pool while no one's watching..." Said Lee
At first they try to go through the fence door, but it's too close to the party...
So they circle around to the fence facing the back of the pool. They tried to climb over it...but it was VERY high!...and it was built kinda crooked, which didn't help
"Alright, looks like we'll have to go with the old heave-ho! Places girls!" Shouts Lee. May and Maria nod, grab Lee and together they take a running start and run all the way up the fence and somersault and land into a cheerleader formation!"
"Ta-dah!" Exclaims all three girls as Marie and May hold up Lee into the air-
RIP!
RIP!
RIP!
The three girls watch in horror as their suits pop off them and fly off...
One top slams into the sprinkler...
One bottom slams into the grill...
One top hits a hotdog and is eaten by Kevin instead...
One bottom gets slurped up as punch by Jimmy...
One top smacks against an oblivious Johnny...
One bottom smacks against Nazz's backside...she looks around confused...but shrugs it off...
"Well that figures." Grumbles an embarrassed Lee as she and her sisters cover their now naked hides...
They quickly run into the pool...completely oblivious that the eds had followed them and were still taking pictures of them...
"Hmmm...these will make some nice blooper calendar shots...or maybe good 'before' shots..." Mused Eddy.
But we should probably diversify a bit, just in case." Stated Double Dee calculatively.
Ed banged his head on the ground, "I'm a woodpecker...except for dirt."
Ignoring their 'eccentric' friend, Double Dee used his special remote to hack the party's boombox and make it play something more 'swimming' related...
So of course, being the sheep they were...
"Everyone in the pool!" Shouts Kevin...
The Kankers panic, but take a deep breath and dive to the bottom of the pool...
The Kankers knew it was only a matter of time before they either ran out of breath or one of the kids dived down and spotted them. So they knew they had to work fast, they needed a distraction.
Lee saw Kevin swim above them and quickly acted. While an oblivious Kevin 'tried' to flirt with Nazz...Lee undid the drawstring of his trunks and pulled it out completely. Ignoring her lungs starting to burn, she slowly pulled down his trunks...
She took a moment to teeter at his tiny genitals, 'No wonder he likes to fight a lot, no way junk that small could ever defend itself.'
She immediately regretted this as it cost her valuable oxygen...quickly she tried to wear the trunks...but her sisters saw this and tried to fight her for it.
They struggled so hard, they didn't realize they were floating to the top...
RIP!
The sisters looked at the torn beyond repair trunk pieces in their hands...
CRACK!
Which meant they didn't see they were under the diving board and thus got whacked on their gourds for their troubles.
Although dazed, they were able to keep just enough cohesion in their minds to take another lungful of air and dive back down before anyone saw them...
But at least they had a game plan now...of sorts...
Quickly they went off to do the drawstrings of the remaining boys trunks. As much as they'd prefer the girls suits. The one-pieces would be impossible to remove without alerting them.
the girls slowly undid the drawstrings and took the trunks away...Jimmy's was even smaller then Kevin, Johnny's was fairly average...Rolf made them get nosebleeds...
They tried to put on the suits and escape...
Yowch!
To their horror, they saw that the last of May's pubic hair had got caught on the pool filter, seeing she was losing air fast, they had no choice but to pull her free and rush to the top...
Meanwhile...
The eds were growing bored...they weren't getting the reaction they'd hoped for...
Eddy, "Well this was a bust..."
"Yeah, I mean. Yes, we got some nice pictures. But I figured we'd at least get an interesting story out of it as well...
"They're smoking!" Shouts Ed pointing.
The other two roll their eyes and are about to dismiss yet another of their friends wacky, random comments..until they see where he was pointing...
creak...
The suite had apparently hit the sprinkler just the right way to clog it...and the pressure was building...
HISS!
The other suite seemed to have knocked loose the propane tank...and it was leaking fast...the fools also seem to have forgotten to turn the grill off...
BOOM!
The ensuing propane explosion destroyed most of the yard and the house...
Panicked, the kids jump out of the pool and make a run for it. Sarah and Nazz bump into each other and try to run in opposite directions-
RIP!
Unfortunately for them, May still had honey on her rear from the bee fiasco, the honey stayed on the suite as popped off and hit Nazz, stuck to her suite, and then stuck said suite to Sarah's suite...causing them to both rip as they fled...
The Kankers didn't understand what was happening and they weren't going to complain! They put on their stolen trunks and fled!
FLUSH!
Or at least they tried to-
The sprinkler exploded and washed them out of the yard...Right to a bunch of police cars!
The Kankers whimper as they brace themselves for the inevitable arrest...that never came?
"You boys get out of here! A bunch of naked weirdos are burning things down!" Shouts a cop. Thanks to their flat chests, the cop thought they were boys wearing swims trunks...
May looks angered, "Boys!? Were- Maria and Lee quickly cover her mouth. "Will do officer!" they exclaim as they run off in the opposite direction.
Last they see of the police...their beating up the 'naked weirdo's(I.E. the Cul-De-Sac kids)...and some news crews are showing off their naked hides to the world...
"Let's go home before something else happens!" The Kanker sisters nod. Frak the heat, they'll take it over this any day!
They try to run home when-
BAM!
The girls screams as a beehive is thrown at them. Quickly enveloped by the swarm of bees, the girls are forced to once more ditch their clothes. As they're are too many bees caught in their trunks stinging their labia...
"Nice shot Ed!" Laughs Eddy and Double D as they continue to take pictures of the naked Kankers as they run screaming in pain from the swarm of Bees all the way home...
…III...
TO BE CONTINUED?
AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Go to my P,a,t,r,e,o,n account!
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