AN: Still no new fics, have another crosspost. This time, "Revenge Has Never Been So Sweet", from before I went full furry. You can tell because I tried to leave room to interpret as human AU, without actually writing a human AU. (I don't write human AUs.)

Just because you've given up evil doesn't mean you've stopped scheming, a fact Perry the Platypus knows full-well when he glares at you and the bag of marshmallows you're holding. You've moved onto smaller schemes, that's all. Like trying to score a kiss from your nemesis.

You hold the bag up, shaking it. "How many of these can you fit in your mouth, Perry the Platypus?"

He narrows his eyes at you and huffs like he's too serious for something as silly as this. He can be such a stick in the mud sometimes.

And that's something you can't let fly, especially after the tickle fight last week that he started. "Too serious for it?" you say, prodding him. "Go on, you know you want to, it'll be fun!"

You're still amazed he puts up with you sometimes, honestly. After all, you're not the most likeable person out there. "I'll join you too, I know how much you love it when I shut up for once."

The bag's abruptly snatched from your hands and then he's reaching in to grab a handful.

"I knew you'd d-"

In hindsight, you opened yourself up to that. Literally opened yourself up to it by opening your mouth so he could stuff it full of marshmallows. You chew at them until you have enough space to whine through them.

"Did you even count those?" you complain, wiping off the drool from your chin. "It's meant to be a competition. Who can fit the most in their mouth. But no, you had to cheat. Good Guys like you aren't supposed to cheat, that's against the rules!"

He looks completely unapologetic, which is not fair. More than that, he looks all too pleased with himself.

So you jump at him, pinning him to the ground so you can shove a handful of marshmallows (seven, you note idly) into his mouth and hold it closed. Revenge has never been so sweet.

Totally worth the glare he gives you, too.

You roll your eyes at him anyway. "Don't look at me like that, Perry the Platypus, you did it first." Because he did. The taste of them is still sweet on your tongue, even though the marshmallows are long gone.

Drool leaks out of the corners of his mouth and you go to lick it up, because you can't let him make a mess of himself, that's your job! And it tastes like marshmallow except better so you keep going even after it's all gone, until he twists his cute little hands into your shirt and pulls you into a proper kiss and you always forget how forceful he can be when he wants something and you still can't believe he wants you, and before you know it he's flipped the two of you so you're on your back and staring up at him and falling in love all over again.

"Wow," you say when he lets you up for air, fiddling with the edge of your lab coat. "You're... wow."

He smirks at you, knowing you're lost for words and so so smug about it, and he does this every time. You hate him for it, and by hate you mean he's still your nemesis even though you're not officially fighting any more and the only thing to do with a nemesis is to beat them into submission. With kisses.

The kissing is very important.

You curl your hands around his jaw and tug him into a gentle kiss. He moves willingly, letting you take the lead, hands flattening against your chest. It's still a surprise when he opens his mouth to your probing tongue, even after all this time, but you'll never get tired of the way he sighs into you when you do.

Or the way his breath hitches when you slide a hand down to grab at his butt. Never going to get tired of that either.

He pulls back and glares at you like he's offended. He's not, you can tell, he's entirely too breathless to claim he didn't enjoy it and you like that, you love the way he's so enthusiastic when he lets himself loose.

Then he opens his mouth, and you take the opportunity to shove another marshmallow into it, like he did earlier.

"One," you say, grinning at him like the cat that got the milk. Or, the ocelot that left his nemesis speechless which is an entirely different thing from his usual lack of talking what with the whole can't form rational thoughts thing.

So of course he pounces you instead. You're not surprised, and far from disappointed, and honestly a little impressed. Sometimes your schemes really do work out for you.

AN: As always, reviews are appreciated :D