Point of Fracture

Shades of Grey Series #4 Shade - Granite

D M Evans

Disclaimer - not mine, all characters belong to Hiromu Arakawa et al, Square Enix and funimition.

Rating - FRM

Time line - This corresponds with eppy 25 of the anime and ch 15 & 16 of the manga and contains spoilers for both. The story blends both anime and manga verses

Summary - Roy tries to come to grips with his loss and the surprises that come with it

Author's Note #1 - Parts of the dialogue come directly from the manga ch 16. If you recognize it, then yeah, that's where it comes from

Author's Note #2 - This is written for the colorific challenge (see livejournal) and is the fourth in a series. It is not necessary to read the previous ones in order to follow this. Just assume that at this point Roy and Riza have been having a covert relationship since soon after Ishbal so at this point they've been together for a decade.

Chapter One

Roy couldn't see, even though his eyes were clear. It took so much willpower to keep them that way. His homecoming wasn't supposed to be like this. It was supposed to be his triumph, letting everyone know that it wouldn't be long before he became one of the people with real power, a general. It didn't matter how many enemies he would have in Central, especially making rank that young, Roy knew he'd be all right. He had enough friends to watch his back.

Only now one of the two friends who mattered most was lying under a state flag being lowered into the ground. When the morbid sounds of dirt hitting the burnished coffin top started echoing, Roy's legs went as insubstantial as the fog that had burned off the horizon hours ago, leaving the cold day far too beautiful for a burial. He didn't know where the strength to keep from sinking to the ground came from, but Roy would draw from it until that well was dry.

He could hear Armstrong sobbing. Roy wished he had the strength to just let the emotions out but he knew he wouldn't stop once he started. He felt Hawkeye's hand just brush his elbow and he glanced back at her wet face. She managed a little smile for him that pulled together some of the fracture lines in his soul until Elicia started pleading for them not to bury her daddy, that he had too much work to do. Her innocent words gutted Roy.

He bit the inside of his lips to keep the sob firmly strangled. Roy didn't so much remain in the cemetery as the crowd began to disperse, as he didn't have the strength to leave it. He was shocked Riza stayed with him. This was as close to admitting they were a couple as anything they had ever done but he didn't care. He was fractured. He always assumed he'd be the one being laid in the garden of stones while Maes grieved for him. How selfish of him to have even thought of putting this pain on another man's shoulders.

Roy didn't know how he managed to keep his voice even as he tried to make a lame joke about Maes' role in Roy's plans for presidency, trying to make it seem a little less painful. It failed miserably. There was no filling the gaping chasm in his heart. He only had two true, close friends and now one was gone while the other kept her silent vigil, not trusting his state of mind, he didn't doubt.

And he went and made her fears worse by opening his mouth and mentioning human transformation. The bitterness and ugly truth of his words frightened her. He could see it in Riza's sad, beautiful eyes. It terrified him because he meant it. Maes had stopped him all those years ago when he tried to bring back the Rockbells. Who would stop him now? He would gladly give Elicia back her father even if it meant his life but the harsh truth was he knew that it couldn't work. All he would do was end up dead with a bastard creation left behind.

He still wanted to do it, actually considered it for several long moments while staring at the granite headstone. Roy summoned up images of how furious Maes would be with him if he were to do anything so stupid. It was the one thing holding him back.

"Are you all right, sir?" Hawkeye never sounded less sure.

"I'm fine," he lied, pulling his hat back on. "It looks like...it's starting to rain."

"But...it's not raining," she replied, looking at the too-bright saffron orb hanging high against the blue.

He pointedly kept his back to her and tried his best not to let his voice betray him. Tears streamed down his cheeks. "Yes, it is. This is rain."

"Yes, sir."

He wished she would have dared to call him by name. Just as well she hadn't. He would have crumbled. Hawkeye let him cry for a few moments. He didn't know why he had to be so damn proud. He wanted to let the rain fall, a deluge to wash away his grief. Stubborn pride put a stranglehold on his emotions.

Roy wiped his face, feeling Riza's hand coming to rest as brief as a butterfly on his back. His swollen eyes met hers. She started crying again. It was his turn for the brief comforting touch.

"Let's get back. It's getting cold out here."

"Yes, sir."

They walked back to the car, shoulder to shoulder, as couple-like as they had ever been in public, like equals instead of her trailing slightly behind him. Mustang even doubted her ability to watch for danger if something should come their way.

Roy didn't know if he was happy or pissed off to be back at the office for the rest of the afternoon. He should be relieved to have something to occupy his mind because if he were at liberty he'd be looking for answers at the bottom of a whiskey bottle, finding only empty. But he was pissed at not being able to indulge his grief.

Instead, he threw himself into his work, plowing through all the ridiculous tedious heaps of paperwork a man of his rank had to deal with. Hawkeye had raised an eyebrow at him. Usually she had to threaten him to get him working and inform him he couldn't toss off the stuff he didn't want to do on his staff. She was probably wondering why he was still in his chair instead of tracing Hughes' last steps. He had assigned her to contact some people in the position to know about the murder but until he was sure someone from command wouldn't just pop in to survey him and his staff, he needed to sit it out. He didn't even dare stray to the slim flask of whiskey he had hidden in his desk. Later today, he'd go alone. He wasn't going to risk his staff.

He just wished his staff were a little less silent. The red-eyed stares he and Hawkeye sported had taken their toll. Furey, Breda, and Falman labored in dead silence. They hadn't really known Hughes coming from the East as they had but Mustang and Hawkeye's moods were infectious. Havoc really wasn't doing any work; mostly he was just rolling his cigarette with his lips and staring out the window. Mustang let him be. It was bad enough when a soldier died in the line of duty but to be ambushed and murdered in a damn phone booth while he was trying to contact a friend was intolerable.

Hawkeye brought more paperwork and set it on his desk. "He's able to meet with us," she whispered.

Roy nodded and got up, going into his anteroom. "I have to go to the records office," he said loudly and his staff glanced up at him, startled. "Hawkeye, you're with me." She followed him silently. This time out on the street, she fell back a few paces. He turned to her. "Go bring him to me, Hawkeye. Give me time. I need to check out the records office and then I'll be at the scene of the crime. Meet me there, less eyes will be on us."

She nodded curtly and clicked off. He wasn't used to her in heels or a dress for that matter. He didn't really like her in the heels. He wasn't sensitive about his own lack of height usually - not like Fullmetal was - but there was something off putting about being the same size as your lover.

Roy walked just as briskly to the records office. The place smelled of disinfectant, having been scrubbed to get rid of the blood trail. Whatever it was that was going on had started here. What had Maes discovered? The clerk said Hughes had tried to call the president then changed his mind. That sent a chill up Roy's spine. It suggested to him that his friend had a reason to doubt Bradley. Roy ordered the stuff Hughes had been working on to be boxed up and sent to his office. He didn't know how long he'd have to work on the puzzle. If somehow higher ups in Command were involved, Roy suspected the stuff Hughes had been going through would be confiscated from him if the incriminating documents hadn't already been seized.

He left the office and headed for the phone booth. The scene of the crime he had called it. What a blasé term for what had happened. It didn't begin to cover their loss. Roy touched the glass. It was too clean, scrubbed hard to remove his friend's blood. Maes' blood had turned the floor of the box, the phone pedestal, and the ground around it dark. Roy's gut flipped at the sight. It made Maes' death more intimate. What the hell had happened to have led to this?

There was no doubts in Roy's mind that this wasn't random. This wasn't some kind of mugging gone wrong. Hughes had been chased from the records office to here. Maes had died trying to warn Roy of something. The outside line...that meant only one thing. Hughes didn't trust someone within the military. Adding that to his sudden change of heart about calling Bradley in the records office terrified Roy because he no longer had any idea who to trust outside of his hand-picked crew. Something in military command had rotted. Roy was reminded that often it was the head of the fish that stinks and wondered just how high the corruption had spread. If Hughes had been cut down, Roy suspected the answer was very high indeed.

He heard Hawkeye's heels clacking behind him. He knew her walk, had memorized its cadence, knew each sway of her hip and how her breasts moved as her arms swung so that he didn't even need to see her to call the image to mind. She had an easy rolling gait that allowed her to shift her weight and strike out lightning fast should the need arise. The footsteps that accompanied hers were heavy, precise.

Roy took a deep breath in and braced himself for this conversation. Armstrong was likely to cry and if he did, Roy wasn't sure he could resist. He took a final look at the large stain left by Hughes' blood then turned to face them.

The entire exchange left Mustang feeling sick, cold, miserable, clammy sweat trickling down his spine. Armstrong had been commanded not to speak. That told Roy volumes. High levels of command had to be involved. It wasn't as huge as surprise as it might have been just a few weeks ago but hearing from Maes how Gran had been using Lab Five, to learn that the bastard Crimson Alchemist was still alive had been a huge clue. Those facts were the first layer of the onion that made up Command. The more he peeled, the more it stank.

His mouth started moving almost of its own accord after Hawkeye observed it wasn't like him to mix his personal feelings with business. He didn't mean to sound so harsh but to him Hughes was both and if anyone thought he wouldn't do everything he could to avenge his friend, they were mistaken. Suddenly he heard himself telling her he was going after Military Command. Nothing like disengaging his brain and blurting that out in public. "Will you help me?"

Her dark eyes leveled on him. "You know there's no need to ask."

He wanted to grab her, hold on for life. She could have turned away from him then and there. A sane woman would but she didn't even flinch. She would never leave him, no matter what, no matter how dangerous, Riza would be with him. He didn't know what he had done to deserve her but he was thankful for every stolen moment they could spend together. "Thank you," he whispered.

Her smile would have to substitute for the feel of her arms around him, no matter how much he needed them now. He wanted to fracture in her arms because he knew she could hold him together.

"We'd better get back, sir."

He just nodded, pinching the bridge of his nose to fight back the emotions. "This is going to be so hard."

"I know," she said softly.

Mustang gulped for air and regained his control. He let his anger filter back in. It pushed out the sadness for a little while at least. He didn't want to go back to his office. He just wanted to go home and collapse but he couldn't, not yet. Hell, he had for find out where the Elrics had gone off to on top of everything. They needed someone to look after them. Mature or not, they were still boys and they had very powerful enemies. Wherever they were, he knew they must be ignorant of Hughes' death. He couldn't see them not being here otherwise. He needed to find them before something ugly did. Roy tried to quiet the chaos in his mind as he went back into his office and failed miserably.

TBC