Isn't Life Grand?
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. That copyright belongs to Masashi Kishimoto.
Team Gai was taking a break---or a "Youth refresher" as Gai and Lee called it---when it happened. No one in Konoha saw it coming. Well, the majority of the Rookie Nine and their senseis probably did, but other than that, no one had even fathomed it.
The situation started out innocently enough. To an uninformed bystander, that is. To Hyuuga Neji, it was the daily hell he was subjected to, because Fate had it in for him, big time. That or the Main House orchestrated it. Stupid Main House. But, it was probably a combination of both. Neji had always felt that Fate and the Main House were in cahoots with each other, conspiring against him since the beginning of their disgusting affair.
The young ninjas were resting near the edge of their training grounds. Neji was meditating beneath a tree, Tenten had perched herself on a low branch of the same tree, and Lee…Lee was kicking that same tree as punishment for failing to do 3000 one-fingered push-ups consecutively (completing only 2999), which he was doing for failing to run 500 laps around Konoha on his hands (falling only 327 metres shy), which he had been doing for losing to Neji at a sparring session two days prior.
Needless to say, Lee's activity was not going over well with the other two. Every kick shook the poor tree, which in turn shook Tenten on her precarious perch. Below the tree, on the opposite side from Lee, Hyuuga Neji was quickly becoming t-oed. His generally smooth face was becoming creased in irritation, each kick deepening the furrow of his brow.
"Lee," Tenten called down from her branch.
When her call was met with mumbled counting, what sounded like, "…thirty-three, thirty-four, thirty-five, have to reach five thousand, thirty-eight, thirty-nine…", she began to shout at her odd team-mate. Odd, meaning Lee, because really, Neji is more disturbed than anything.
"Lee!"
No response.
"LEE!"
Neji's severely furrowed face had developed about three tics in various areas. Between the kicking and the shouting, he was ready to Jyuuken something or someone.
"LEE-AHH!!!" screamed Tenten as she plummeted to the earth, a particularly violent kick having shook the tree into shaking her from her seat. She had expected to land on the relatively cushy forest floor. What she got was a hard body, which in no way made for a comfortable landing, but probably ensured her a couple bruises. Said body happened to belong to a fully-angered Hyuuga Neji. His face had furrowed to the point where he resembled a wrinkled old man more than a teenager and the innumerable facial tics made it look like his skin had a colony of ants living beneath it. It was like gelatin from an old man Jell-O mould!
Glimpsing his face, Tenten clawed her way off of Neji as quickly as her battered body could carry her. She knew that look, and it scared her. Not just because it was creepy for someone's face to suddenly morph into that of an old man's, but also because she knew what was likely to happen next. The temperament that accompanied that facial expression was not something one could ever enjoy experiencing.
Run Lee, Run!
Slowly and with a grace unique to the Hyuuga prodigy, Neji rose from his disturbed seat, his face not losing a single furrow, nor did his tics ebb in the least.
Lee of course, was oblivious to the funnel cloud of doom that was nearly ready to touch down upon his head. Tenten's final scream had pulled him out of his most recent self-enforced discipline, causing him to make a mental vow to complete six thousand vertical push-ups while balancing a flaming medicine ball on his feet.
It was pure oblivion in oral form, when Lee said, "Tenten? Why are you attacking Neji? That is not very sportsmanlike or Youthful of you. Gai-sensei would not be pleased."
"What the? Lee!" Tenten yelled. "Your incessant kicking sent me flying out of the tree and onto Neji!"
"Now, now, Tenten," Lee spoke philosophically. "A true ninja takes responsibility for his or her actions. It is part of the Triangle of Life. Your Youthful mind must be familiar with it."
The girl's face scrunched up in confusion. "What? Triangle…? It's the Circle of Life, Lee."
"Oh contraire, fair Tenten!" Lee spoke, shaking a finger and developing a glow that could only precede a discussion of something Youth-related. "The Triangle of Life is a part of the Circle of Life. The Circle of Life is the passage of Youth into Glorious Wisdom, and Glorious Wisdom giving way to Youth. The Triangle of Life is the way in which Youth blossoms into Glorious Wisdom!"
"Eh?"
Lee sighed, exasperated at his team-mate's lack of knowledge in the Way of Youth. In a voice suited to a sensei teaching an ignorant child the primary colours, Lee began his lecture. "It is like this Tenten. The Triangle of Life is composed of three parts. The first is Decision. Make a decision and act on it. The second is Consequence. There are always consequences for actions, Tenten." Lee's last statement seemed to be insinuating something Tenten didn't like, but she repressed the urge to smack him for it, and he continued. "The third part is Responsibility. One must take responsibility for one's actions, Tenten." Again, she did not like the hidden meaning in Lee's speech, and her shoulders bunched imperceptibly because of it. "The way in which a person approaches the three sides of the Triangle of Life is what determines one's Youthfulness, and later on, also decides how great their acumen is in their days of Glorious Wisdom," Lee finished, eyes closed and index finger raised in the air, assuring that his speech was sound.
Tenten raised an eyebrow and tilted her head slightly, showing her confusion. "What the heck does that have to do with this?" she asked, annoyed at Lee for skirting the topic of her unceremonious exit from the leafy canopy.
Again, Lee sighed at Tenten's ignorance. "Don't you see, Tenten? You made a decision to attack your unprepared team-mate, Neji-kun. There are consequences for the erroneous decision you made. Now you must take responsibility for your poor decision. That is how a true ninja lives. Only through taking responsibility by accepting the consequences of our decisions can we truly experience the full magnificence of Youth, and ensure ourselves prosperity in our days of Glorious Wisdom." Lee's sizeable eyebrows created a peak over the bridge of his nose, as his round eyes perused Tenten's, seeking a sign that his lesson had registered in the girl's mind.
Tenten gave an exasperated sigh-slash-growl. "Lee! I did not attack Neji! Your stupid kicking shook the tree and I was thrown---"
She was cut off when a beige and brown blur approached the guy she was yelling at, and in the next moment he was flying into the tree she had fallen out of.
To a bystander, it would have looked as though someone had tossed a horribly discoloured Raggedy Andy doll at a tree, so limp was Lee's soaring figure. His back hit the tree sideways, causing his spine to wrap around the trunk. Curiously, he stayed stuck like that; his body wrapped around the tree backwards. After about ten seconds of hanging like that, Lee's bent form began to slowly slide down the tree.
Neji and Tenten watched in slight fascination, as their team-mate hit the forest floor with a quiet thud. His body remained in the same curved position around the base of the trunk. (Lee's chiropractor was going to be making a killing off of him in the near future.)
Tenten's face had lost its scowl after Neji's assault on Lee, and Neji had lost his gelatinous old man face. Apparently she wasn't the only one who was ticked off at his inane ranting and ignorant accusations.
"Do you think he's going to wakeup soon?" the kunoichi whispered, worried that something louder might rouse the fallen ninja.
"It depends," Neji replied, lowly. He didn't want to risk waking Lee any sooner than necessary, either. "He hit the tree hard. However, considering Lee's thick skull and abnormal flexibility---" Neji paused as a groan sounded from the green mass beneath the tree. He sighed, shoulders slumping, and finished, "he may awaken sooner than most."
Both standing ninjas felt as though a heavy rain cloud had materialized above their heads, pouring down some misery on the two.
With movements as slow as Ningame, Gai's ninja turtle, Lee pried himself away from the tree's rough bark and dragged himself to his feet. He swayed on unsteady legs, making him resemble a punching dummy that had just been hit. Righting himself, Lee made to straighten himself out, when a loud crack and a "now-that-can't-be-good" look spread across his face.
In a quick motion, Lee bent his body backwards, eliciting nerve-crunching popping sounds from his vertebrae. The other two ninjas' toes curled from the sound, but tried not to make a display of it.
Shaking his head, as though the motion would clear all the muddled thoughts and screwed up processes inside of it, Lee staggered away from the support of the tree. Focusing on his two team-mates, he flashed a blinding smile and struck the "Good Guy" pose, assuring the others that he was A-okay.
"Moron" and "Ugh" were Neji and Tenten's thoughts, respectively.
Then, completely forgetting his "lesson" with Tenten, Neji's assault, and his subsequent injuries, Lee went off on a new tangent. "What a lovely day! The birds are partaking in their air dances of Youth. The flowers are blooming brightly, as are the flowers of Konoha's teams, like our Youthful Tenten," Lee gushed, to which both his team-mates rolled their eyes. He took in a deep breath and exhaled loudly with an "ahhh". "Smell the Youth just floating about us Neji! Tenten! The air is so invigoratingly youthful." He gave another "Good Guy" pose, complete with a far-too bright smile that went "Ping!". Lee's team-mates didn't even bother to hide their cringes. It wasn't like Lee ever noticed them anyway; he was too high on the Youth in the air. (Yeah, that's whatit was.) Lee sighed one of those satisfied sighs that seem to please the sigher even more but irritate anyone else who isn't having such a wonderful time. Then he said, in his innocently awed voice, "Isn't life grand?"
Tenten snorted. "Yeah, Lee. It's real grand."
He turned to his female team-mate and with a smile, shouted, "That's wonderful, Tenten! I can see that the true spirit of Youth is alive in you!"
She gave him her best "what-the-heck?" look and said, "I was being sarcastic, Lee. Life isn't all that peachy."
Lee gave an overdramatic and overly long gasp of shock, his already wide eyes opening even further, if that were possible. "Tenten! I can't believe you would say that! First being untruthful and then being down on life! What happened to your inherent Youthful power? Has our team's flower wilted without us, her team-mates, noticing? Oh, how could we let this happen?!" Lee fairly screamed, dropping down to his knees, hands raised to the heavens in askance.
Lowering his arms but not rising from his kneeling position on the ground, Lee turned to Tenten and grabbed her hand in both of his. He stared intently into her eyes, which kind of creeped Tenten out. Lee's eyes were disconcerting enough to see on a person at a distance, imagine how they were peering intently into your own, tears flowing like rivers from them, while their owner grasps your hand in a death grip, a look of desperation on his face.
Involuntary shudder.
"DON'T GIVE UP, TENTEN!" Lee shouted.
Both Tenten and Neji cringed at the volume with which Lee was speaking. The guy had two settings: loud and blaring loud. Their ears had grown accustomed to his loud mode, but between them they believed that it was impossible for anyone to become used to his blaring loud setting.
"GAI-SENSEI CAN SAVE YOU! HE WILL KNOW HOW TO REKINDLE THE FIRE OF YOUTH WITHIN YOU! OUR TEAM'S FLOWER SHALL BURN BRIGHTLY ONCE AGAIN!!!"
Having had enough of Lee's molestation of her hearing, Tenten swatted his head with her free hand, sending him flying into the tree where this situation had begun.
"Will you talk like a normal person for once? Geez, I'm gonna go deaf from your screaming," Tenten muttered. Off to the side, Neji nodded in agreement.
Picking himself up from the dirt floor, Lee turned back to his female team-mate, a look of innocent concern upon his face.
"But Tenten, why would you say something so blasphemous to the Way of Youth?" Lee asked, tears amassing in his unique eyes. "Don't you love life? Has the Flame of Youth truly been doused in you?"
Avoiding looking directly into Lee's eyes, Tenten sighed and began choosing her response carefully. She did not want another outburst from her overly-emotional team-mate.
"It's not like I don't like life, Lee," she began slowly. The addressed teen nodded, encouraging her to continue, so she did. "I just…Sometimes I feel like I don't matter. You know? Like no one notices that I'm here. I mean, would anyone notice if I went missing?"
"Of course!" Lee shouted, waterfalls of tears sprouting from his eyes. "We, your team-mates, and Gai-sensei would notice and search to the ends of the earth for you, precious flower of Team Gai!"
"Would you really, Lee?"
"We would never stop until our team's flower was returned to beautiful Konoha, where she belongs! Yosh!" Lee exclaimed, fire burning in his pouring eyes.
"Why would you do that?" Tenten asked wearily.
"You are our team-mate, Tenten! This should not even be a question! As your team-mates, we would automatically come to your aid with the power of our Youth!"
"Because you're my team-mates, huh? And team-mates care about each other, get to know them, right?" she said. "Tell me, Lee. What is my surname?"
There was a pregnant pause. Lee's animated features froze in place, tears and all. Off to the side, the silent Neji quirked an eyebrow and looked off at a distant tree, freezing inside as much as Lee had outside. He relaxed shortly after, thankful that it was Lee who was being questioned and not him.
Tenten raised an eyebrow, goading Lee with her proven point.
Suddenly, Lee's face unfroze, and a light that was almost as bright as his "Good Guy" smile shone above his head. He leapt up from his kneeling position and with a fist raised in the air, shouted, "That is a trick question! You have no surname!" A look of triumph spread across his face. "Ha! Your wily Youthfulness has not left you, crafty Tenten! What a brazen display of cunning Youth! How tricky! But my Youthful mind powers were able to decipher your game! What an exhilarating match of wits! We should have these mind spars more often, Tenten! After all, to keep one's body Youthfully fit, one must keep the mind Youthfully sharp! That is what Gai-sensei always tells me! Yosh!"
Neji was suddenly overcome with the need to find a hole to hide and possibly die in. Lee's "triumphant" epiphany was so painful to listen to, knowing that it could only result in one thing: a purely ticked off---and possibly hurt---Tenten. That was not something anyone wanted to witness, let alone be involved in, which was why Neji desperately wanted out of that clearing immediately. So, he began to edge his way ever-so stealthily away from the other two ninjas.
Tenten was shaking. Disbelief and, yes, hurt were sliding down her neck and back in cold flows. She had always known Lee was "special", but she had never thought he was this stupid.
"YOU MORON! OF COURSE I HAVE A SURNAME, YOU IDIOT! HOW CAN YOU THINK I DON'T?!" she screamed at him. "THIS JUST PROVES MY POINT! YOU DON'T KNOW MY SURNAME! I'VE BEEN YOUR TEAM-MATE FOR OVER FOUR YEARS AND NEITHER OF YOU KNOW MY NAME!" She cast ocular venom at a slowly retreating Neji. This caused him to freeze in place, feet and arms raised in tiptoe fashion making him look absolutely ridiculous, though he wasn't concerned with that; his life was at stake at the moment.
Slowly, like a prey testing a predator's boundaries, Neji resumed a less moronic-looking position and turned to face the seething kunoichi.
A sardonic light had taken residence in Tenten's eyes, forcing sweat out of Neji's pores. Oh, he did not like that look, or the feeling it bestowed on him.
In an eerily calm and sweet voice, Tenten said, "What about you, Neji? Do you know my surname, oh mighty Genius of Geniuses?"
Oh crap.
Neji had to fight with all his internal control to maintain a neutral expression. If his face had done what it had wanted to, he would have looked like a scared bunny rabbit that was being chased by a fox but was suddenly caught in a vehicle's headlights. That would have been the end of all respect for him.
He closed his eyes in his calm manner, collecting his thoughts. With a gentle clearing of his throat, he took a step into the deep end, armed with weights, as he answered, "Nagasaki."
There was a heavy silence, in which Tenten's features contorted into something akin to a squished toad, Lee's face lit up like a 1000 watt light bulb, and Neji mentally cursed Fate to eternal damnation while simultaneously begging it for a way to survive his current situation.
"What?" Tenten whispered, her voice rasping with tempered rage.
Neji's genius mind was quite certain that that was a rhetorical question, and that even if it wasn't, it was in his best interest to not answer it. In hindsight, it probably would have been best if he hadn't answered her previous question either, but he would blame that on Fate, like he did with every other stupid thing he did.
Lee, unfortunately, did not have Neji's crazy-awesome mind skills, and as such, did not realize the precarious situation the two shinobi were in with the kunoichi.
His face was as bright as two super novas; pure joy streaming out in heavenly rays. "NAGASAKI TENTEN! WHAT A WONDERFULLY YOUTHFUL NAME!" Lee shouted in said girl's face. "I AM SO PLEASED TO KNOW YOUR SURNAME, NAGASAKI TENTEN!" Lee then made to hug the kunoichi; arms wide in anticipation; beaming face enough to blind anyone within a ten kilometre radius.
Naturally, he didn't get within a foot of Tenten. She kicked him squarely in the stomach, sending him flying into the same tree he had sent her flying out of with his kicking---poetic justice in all its glory.
"THAT IS NOT MY NAME! WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?!" she shouted at the crumpled form of Lee.
His head had taken the brunt of the impact, which was probably the best thing for him, considering his past injuries and the fact that his hair acted like a helmet, cushioning most of the shock and preventing any undue brain damage, which he really didn't need any more of.
From his landing spot at the base of the tree, Lee's muffled voice called out, "It's such a nice name, Nagasaki Tenten! Don't be ashamed of it!" his injuries doing nothing to dampen his high spirits.
From Neji's perception, Tenten's eyes morphed into those of a demon and she seemed to grow fangs, as she focused on Lee's prone form. Rage rolled off her in oppressive waves.
In a quiet voice that did nothing to conceal her malice, she said, "I'm not ashamed of it because that is not my name."
Lee slowly dragged himself up along the trunk of the tree, apparently oblivious to the blood running down his face in crimson creeks. He turned to face his female team-mate, an innocent puppy look in his big eyes. "Why isn't that your name, Tenten?" he asked, concern evident in the tilt of his heavy eyebrows.
She looked at him like he had just suggested she lose some weight. "Because it's not! Why would it be?" she spoke shrilly, disbelief at her team's incompetence laced in every word.
A look of compassion and understanding flooded Lee's eyes as he tilted his head. In his most gentle and soothing voice, he asked, "Is it perhaps that your family disowned you and now you are not allowed to use your family name?"
Tenten gave one violent twitch and then went death-still.
"Because if that's what happened, Tenten, I think you should know that no one can take your name from you. It is yours to keep and do with as you like. It is your birthright and no one can take it away. No one!" he spoke earnestly, Fire of Youth blazing to full glory in his eyes.
Tenten was clenching her jaw so tight, quiet cracking sounds could be heard emanating from her mouth. A twitch had taken residence in her right eye and two others had moved into her hands, making them reach for her weapons before she jerked them back.
"I was not disowned," she began slowly and quietly. "I have a surname that I am allowed to use. Nagasaki is not it."
"It's not?" Lee asked, confusion plastered across his face.
"NO, YOU FREAKING IDIOT! IT'S NOT!"
Lee stumbled back into the tree trunk at Tenten's outburst. Neji was just glad that his attempt at sneaking away had earned him a good five metres leeway between him and the enraged kunoichi. He was also thankful that she was focusing her rage on Lee rather than him, even though he was the one who had thrown "Nagasaki" out there in the first place. Perhaps Fate was on his side today.
Straightening, Lee looked at Tenten with curious eyes and said, "Well, what is your surname, Tenten?"
The addressed girl seemed a little surprised by the question, but soon the ticks and the evil presence ebbed to nothingness as she accepted what her team-mate was trying to do.
She took a deep breath to smooth any still-frayed nerves. "Smith," she said firmly.
Both shinobi looked at her in puzzlement.
"What?" Lee asked, all innocent curiosity and understanding replaced with outright confusion.
"That's my surname," Tenten said.
"'Smith' is your surname?" Neji asked, incredulity blatantly displayed on his face and in his voice.
"Yes," she muttered, through slightly clenched teeth.
"But," Lee began, "that's not even a Japanese name."
"I. Know."
"Quite strange," Neji spoke lowly, his senses carelessly overlooking the spike in dark intent spewing from the Weapons Mistress.
"Smith Tenten," Lee spoke slowly, as though testing how the name felt on his lips. "Hmm. It just doesn't have the same ring that Nagasaki Tenten has."
"Regardless," Tenten said through clenched teeth, "that is my name. So, you two had better remember it, and accept it."
Tenten's tone seemed to permeate Neji's inner musings, alerting him to the eminent danger he and Lee were in if the situation continued to escalate.
Clearing his throat, the Hyuuga hastily said, "Smith is a perfectly respectable and suitable name for you Tenten."
Lee didn't seem to catch onto Neji's attempt to diffuse the situation, and stared at him with screwed up eyebrows. "It's odd, Neji! Smith is such a strange name. I like Nagasaki better. Nagasaki suits her better!" Lee continued to rant, digging his own grave and jumping on in.
"Lee," the now enraged kunoichi hissed. She kicked his shins hard, causing him to face plant into the earth. "SHUT UP!"
The fallen shinobi lay motionless for a moment, then placed his hands on either side of his head and pushed himself up. Lee's face was covered in dirt, leaves, and scratches with blood oozing out of them, but he seemed oblivious to all of this.
Jumping to his feet, Lee smiled at his team-mates and stretched a bit. Apparently his memory was like that of a goldfish, as he didn't seem to remember what Tenten had just done to him.
Casting awed eyes up at the green canopy that domed their location, Lee's face lit up with realization. Turning to his male team-mate, Lee said, "What about you Neji? Don't you think life is grand? With your talents and high standing, surely you would agree!"
Neji looked at Lee with one of his patented "Why-does-Fate-hate-me-so-much-that-it-stuck-me-with-you-for-a-team-mate?-Couldn't-it-just-kill-me-off?-That-would-be-so-much-less-painful-than-this.-Stupid-Fate-…..-and-stupid-Main-House." looks. Neji spoke in that dead voice he reserved especially for Lee when he needed to, ugh, interact with his green-clad team-mate. "I have a curse seal on my forehead that was forced upon me when I was four years old. At any moment, any member of the Main House can use a simple hand seal to activate it and kill me, or at the very least, make me wish for death with how much pain it can inflict. My guardian, Uncle Hiashi can do it. Hinata-sama, who is so much weaker than me, it makes even me feel slightly embarrassed for her, can do it. Hanabi-sama, who is, like, six years younger than me, can do it. I am at their mercy, all because my father was born second and Uncle Hiashi was born first. That's a difference of only a few minutes. It doesn't matter that I am the Genius of Geniuses, that I am way stronger than any Main House member. No, I am stuck like this, fated by…Fate to serve the Main House for the rest of my existence, and possibly past that, depending on how jerk-like Fate was feeling when it picked my destiny. And considering how my life has been going so far, I think it's safe to say, it was feeling epically jerk-like, so I've got that to look forward to when I die." He paused and then muttered, "No doubt while in service to the Main House."
When Neji finished his speech (tentatively titled "Dark Alliance: The Nefarious Marriage Between Fate and the Hyuuga Main House and Their Conspiracy Against Branch Member Hyuuga Neji"), Lee was uncharacteristically lacking a Youth-related reply, though he did have eyes full of his characteristic tears.
I've finally gotten through that thick skull of his. Where's your Youth now? Heh heh. (Yes, Neji chuckles in his mind, though even there it comes out sounding animatronic.)
However, Neji's inner glee was doomed to a short existence (Fate! Darn you!).
Lee's bingo ball-eyes began to simultaneously stream rivers of tears and blaze with bright flames. He raised a fist in the air and shouted, "THE POWER OF YOUTH PREVAILS!!! NEJI-KUN! Your perseverance in the face of such adversity, where others would surely give up, is the embodiment of Youthfulness! You are an inspiration to us all!! My eternal rival, you are truly a worthy opponent! Yosh!"
Neji's face paled (like that's possible), and had he had pupils, they would have contracted to specks, so wide were his eyes under his skewed eyebrows. What a moron. Only Lee---and Gai---could turn that story into something inspirational and "Youthy".
"How," Neji began slowly, his face resuming the gelatinous old man appearance from before, "is my cursed life an inspiration? What about it is, to use your own term, grand?"
Lee smiled at the other male, tears still streaming, fiery eyes still blazing. "You have not given up on your journey of Youth! You serve your family with fortitude and unwavering loyalty! Such passion! Such admirable character! Even if you are doomed to an existence full of pain and sacrifice that will never be rewarded no matter what you do to earn it---"
"Jyuuken!"
Suddenly, Lee was being pummelled by a blur of hands, as Neji laid out a world of hate-filled Jyuukening on Lee. After far more Jyuukening than Neji would have used on any regular opponent, he finally stopped, shoulders heaving with every breath. He rolled his neck and gave a quiet, self-satisfied sigh. The tics and furrows had been erased from his features, all signs of tension seeming to have evaporated. He was now the picture of calm---his normal self.
A loud thump filled the suddenly silent clearing, as Lee's battered body dropped like a sack of potatoes. No one moved at first. Neji just stared absently at the green-clad prone figure, not a trace of emotion on his stoic face. Tenten, on the other hand, was slightly more affected.
Her eyes were nearly popping out of her head, mouth agape, though no air passed through it, her face slowly turning red, lending colour to her suddenly ghostly pale face. She moved her lips slowly, but no words came out.
After a few minutes of trying, Tenten finally managed to say something. "Is he dead?" she asked timidly, shock still numbing her system.
Neji shrugged. "Probably," was his simple reply. "I did use triple the assault I normally would."
Tenten turned to the Hyuuga. "Why?"
Neji raised an eyebrow. "You weren't wishing for something like this to happen?"
When she opened her mouth to respond, she found that she had to close it again. He was right. This was what she had been wishing and praying for ever since their team had been formed. She was finally free!
A look of serenity came across the kunoichi's face. "You are absolutely right, Neji."
Said person simply closed his eyes and nodded in a knowing manner.
"But, just to be sure," Tenten said, walking over to their fallen team-mate, a stick in hand. She gingerly poked Lee's back with the stick, not wanting to get too close, lest he still be alive and decided to latch onto her again. When no response came, she poked harder. Still no response. Under close scrutiny, it was obvious the Youth-obsessed youth was no longer breathing. "Oh yeah," Tenten spoke, nodding. "He's definitely dead."
Neji huffed, insulted. "Of course. I don't do things half-way."
"DYNAMIC ENTRY!"
Both still-breathing ninjas turned to their right, where their sensei had just made his appearance, completely emotionless faces greeting the man in green.
"Lee! I have to tell you something!" Gai spoke earnestly. Then, as an afterthought, he said, "Oh, you too, Neji. Tenten."
The last two mentioned teens rolled their eyes and gave mute sighs. Typical Gai.
The man's attention was back on his favoured student immediately, a bright white smile splitting his face. "Lee! I beat my eternal rival, Kakashi, at our most recent challenge! Had I lost, I would have had to circle Konoha one hundred times by doing the centipede! The record now stands at 60 to 61, in my favour!" Gai boomed in his boisterous voice.
Lee's prone form remained motionless. Gai had been expecting a "Gai-sensei!" "Lee!" "Gai-sensei!" "Lee!" exchange and then a manly hug complete with tears and a spontaneous sunset. He got none of that, though.
"Lee?" Gai asked tentatively, approaching the teen slowly. "Lee, did you train so hard that you passed out again?"
No response.
Gai chuckled. "Or maybe you got into the sake again, ripped up the place, and are now sleeping that overload of Youth off?"
Still no response.
"Lee?" Gai knelt down beside the young ninja and tapped him on the shoulder. Then, noticing the blood on the sides of his head, he turned Lee over and gasped in horror.
"Lee," he whispered hoarsely. "LEE!" Tears sprung out of the sensei's eyes, like water from a garden hose. "LEE! MY PRECIOUS STUDENT! WHY?! YOU WERE SO FULL OF YOUTH! YOU GREW TO REVEL IN THE SPRINGTIME OF YOUTH! WHY WOULD YOUTH LET YOU BE PLUCKED FROM ITS BOSOM AT SUCH A TENDER AGE OF YOUTHFULNESS?! WHY YOUTH, WHY?! LEE!"
Gai continued to grieve and beseech Youth to return his student to him. The other two ninjas merely watched on, blank faces gazing upon the results of their recent actions.
In a lull of screaming to the heavens, Gai turned to his remaining students and said, "Who? Who did this to my precious Lee?"
"Uhh…" Tenten began uncertainly. She hadn't thought about explaining this to her sensei or the Hokage, for that matter.
"I did," Neji spoke evenly, eyes staring back at his sensei with no emotion.
"Huh? Wha? Neji?" Gai stuttered in disbelief, his eyes nearly dropping from their sockets at the unexpected revelation. "No," Gai whispered. "NO! This cannot be true! The power of Youth that I have ensured resides within all of my students would have prevented you from doing anything so heinous to the Way of Youth!"
"Your Youth is dead," Neji sneered.
Gai gave an extremely long and dramatic gasp at this. "How could you say that? How could you say something so blasphemous to the Way of Youth? And in the presence of your fallen comrade, who held so steadfast to the Way of Youth. Shame, Neji! Shame!"
"Tch," Neji grunted, rolling his white eyes. "If I cared I wouldn't have killed him."
"I don't believe it! I won't believe it!" Gai shouted, hugging Lee's lifeless body closer. "No student of mine would ever do something like this! The power of Youth would never allow it! Never!" screamed Gai. He then turned back to his "Prodigy of Hard Work" and began wailing to Youth again.
Neji's face had begun to furrow again, irritated at his sensei's irrational rejection of his admission to Lee's murder. The man's wails weren't doing anything to ease his annoyance either.
Tenten was in much the same state of mind as Neji. She couldn't believe Gai's ignorance of just how deep Neji's issues ran and his screams to Youth were beginning to grate her the wrong way.
Without thinking, Tenten dragged out a barrage of weapons and hurled them at her grieving sensei. Some say the kunoichi's attack was really calculated in cold-blood; tailored to the situation and planned long before the actual incident. Others say that Maito Gai saw the attack coming, but simply lost the will to live upon the discovery of his dear student's death. Whatever the circumstances, the result was the same: Gai did not block, dodge, or counter his backstabbing (quite literally) student's attack.
Tenten's 100 accuracy and Gai's passivity resulted in every one of the projectiles hitting their mark, puncturing organs and signing the sobbing sensei's death sentence.
Once again, silence reigned in the bloodstained clearing. Even the birds had muted themselves, as though they feared an unprovoked attack from the two ninjas below.
It was Neji's turn to be taken aback by his team-mate's actions. He had not expected such a violent and sudden reaction from Tenten. He had thought he would have to do the job himself in a few seconds, not being able to handle Gai's laments and shouts about fallen Youth, and…well, he just couldn't stand Gai, plain and simple. Since he had already killed Lee, Neji didn't find any reason not to see if he couldn't go two-for-two. But, then Tenten had made her move, allowing Neji to simply watch as his hated sensei was slain by his only remaining team-mate. Perhaps Fate wasn't so bad after all.
With mechanical steps, Tenten walked over to her fallen sensei's form. Squatting down, she reached over to check his pulse. Finding none, she pulled her hand back and saw it covered in red. Her other hand clutched at Gai's green spandex jumpsuit, which was soaked through with crimson. He would have looked as though he were dressed for Christmas, had the scene not been so morbid.
Her glazed over eyes widened in shock and realization of what had just happened. Tenten held up her hands, staring disbelievingly at the blood that covered them. She stared up at Neji in horror. "What have we done?" she choked out, her breathing becoming increasingly difficult.
"We have just stuck it to Fate," he replied coolly, a self-satisfied smile (yes! a smile, not a smirk!), however small, sliding onto his lips.
"Bu-but, we just…we just…" Tenten gasped out.
"It is what we have always dreamed of Tenten," Neji spoke strongly in his finest monotone. It took some control, considering the glee he was teeming with at the moment. "Do not tarnish it with regrets."
"WE KILLED THEM!" she shouted, sounding an awful lot like Lee in blaring loud mode.
Neji scowled slightly. "Yes Tenten. We did. There is no need to shout. That is part of the reason we got rid of them, remember?"
Tenten lowered her head, eyes cast to the bloody earth. "Yes," she replied softly. "Yes, you're right. It's over."
Of course, just because they had ridded themselves of the banes of their existences didn't mean they would live happily ever after. It all came crashing down when the bloody scene they had caused was discovered by Team 10. They were promptly apprehended and incarcerated. After an expeditious trial, that shocked all of Konoha to its core, the remaining members of Team Gai were sentenced to death and the order was carried out shortly after.
The Triangle of Life made its existence clear that day.
Back in the clearing where a teacher and a student once lay, slain by their own comrades, two figures stood before one another.
"LEE! My Youthful Lee!" Gai shouted, tears streaming like an open faucet.
"GAI-SENSEI! You came!" Lee replied, just as loud.
"Yes Lee! I came! The loss of your Youth was too much for me to handle. I had to see your wonderful Youth again!"
Tears sprouted from Lee's round eyes. "GAI-SENSEI!" he cried.
"YOUTH LIVES!!!"
"YOSH!!! GAI-SENSEI!"
"LEE!"
HUG! Er, rather, the two then hugged---in a manly fashion---and cried their manly tears.
"Look Lee!" Gai pointed at the vibrant sunset that had just developed behind the embracing figures. "Heaven is calling us towards its eternal Youthfulness!"
"Gai-sensei!"
"Lee!"
After giving one last "Good Guy" pose to each other and while crying manly tears, mentor and protégé ran off into the sunset, towards the Spring of Eternal Youth. Yes, they would have their peace.
The End