Washu: And now, because you demanded it—the author's notes!

Ryoko: What are you talking about? No body "demanded it," the author just likes to hear himself talk!

Washu: Nonsense! Just like the "Bonus Features" on DVD special additions, Tenchi Trek now gives you "The making of" and the author's commentary. Now you can discover where the author got his ideas, how the author created the story, and what got used and what got cut! Aspiring writers out there can see the process of creation and be inspired to try their hand at constructing a tale of their own to post on line! Who knows, maybe someone out there will be the next J.K. Rowling!

Ryoko: No offense, Washu, but I find the "Bonus Features" on DVD's snoreville and they break the suspension of disbelief. They destroy the mood by showing that "the creators weren't that original, they just did this," or something like that. It's kind of anticlimactic after the story is over and doesn't really cut it.

Washu: Stop looking at the glass as if it's half-empty! Lots of people want to see what was going on in the author's head while he was writing.

Ryoko: (sarcastically) Yeah, lots of people want to hear some loser talk about how brilliant he is while showing us that he doesn't have a single original bone in his body.

Washu: Even William Shakespeare wrote remakes! According to Aristotle, there are only eight stories, anyway! You are always so mean to our fanfiction writers! No wonder we don't have very many writers out there!

Ryoko: So what? Fanfiction pays chicken feed compared to cartoons and manga comics.

Washu: Have you noticed any new Tenchi Muyo cartoons or comic books released out there lately?

(award pause)

Ryoko: (forced cheeriness) Hey everyone! Guess what? If you enjoyed all eighteen chapters of Tenchi Trek, I'll bet you will love to read the author's notes!

Washu: That's the spirit!

Author's Notes:

Thanks for your support and encouragement everyone. I hate to end it too, but this was the ending that I envisioned from the very beginning. The point of the story was to see if I could write a Star Trek parody with only the cast from Tenchi Muyo. It was a bigger challenge than I thought, for the department heads still needed enlisted crewmen to order around. I was forced to dig into Tenchi in Tokyo, and Tenchi Forever to round out the cast, but at least I didn't have to raid Pretty Sammy or the GXP series.

I wrote this story with idea of it being the first episode of Star Trek: Pioneer's second season. Captain Tenchi was supposed to have his transporter accident at the beginning of the pilot and that's why a teenager is in charge of a starship. Since Ryoko is one of my favorite characters, I decided that the episode that Mihoshi dreams of would be the one where Ryoko joins the cast, just like Chekov, Worf, and Seven of Nine joined late in the other ST series.

The Cast:

From the beginning I decided not to have the characters imitate any official Star Trek character whether they be Kirk, Spock, or Worf. The point of this story was to see how the Tenchi characters would fill the positions of a Federation starship, not to see how well I could write for Kirk or Picard trapped in Tenchi's body. Still, I noticed that Tenchi is a bit of "stuffed shirt" like Picard was, and that is probably why so many readers thought that he was supposed to directly imitate him. Likewise I bandied terms from both the original series and the Next Generation interchangeably. I figured that different captains and different ships would favor some of Star Fleet's military terminology more than others. Both Captain Pike and Captain Picard called their first officers "Number One" and used the order "Engage". Since Tenchi was supposed to be every captain (especially Kirk and Picard) I gave him the first names of the first two captains of the Federation starship Enterprise, "James" and "Jean-Luc". For Tenchi to have names from three different nationalities would make him represent "every Earthman" and help explain why he didn't recognize Ryoko as a girl's name that is relatively common in Japan.

Speaking of names, the spellings of all the Tenchi characters names I use are the ones I read in the Tenchi Muyo manga by Hitoshi Okuda and published by Viz/Pioneer, despite the fact that later information has revealed that they are incorrect. The first princess of Jurai in my stories is called Ayeka, not Aeka. Kiyone's last name in my story is Makibi, not Mabi. Oops.

Washu is perfect as the science officer; since that is often the role she plays on Tenchi Universe. She is the one who knows the most obscure stuff, and is often the unofficial first officer despite the fact that she is fourth in command. Like Spock, Data, Quark, and Tuvok, she has only one name. The rest of the alien girls apparently have a human ancestor since they all have American sounding first names.

I had originally intended for Katsuhito to play the part of the incredibly powerful superbeing, but I needed a medical officer, so I made him the "old country doctor." His "civilian medical robes" was simply an excuse for him to look exactly as he does in the cartoon without having to wear a uniform. Dianna Troi got away with civilian clothing for five seasons, why not old Doc Yosho? Yosho is the name that Katsuhito went by on Jurai in the OAV, the first TV series, and all three Tenchi movies.

I originally hadn't intended to give Sasami a large part, but when it became clear that I needed more minor crewmen, I decided to make her a regular cast member. Like Chief O'Brien from TNG and DS9, Midshipman Sasami, the "plucky young space cadet" may be the main transporter operator, but she wears a lot of hats and fills in wherever necessary. The midshipman's first and middle name was borrowed from Sherry Lynn, the voice of Sasami, Tsunami, and Kiyone for English speaking audiences. I should have named all my officers after the people who do the voices.

Kiyone was a no-brainer as the tactical officer. As the tough, gun toting galaxy police officer in Tenchi Universe, she seemed overqualified to fill the position.

Mihoshi was the chief helmswoman because it would give her excuses to crash the ship and the shuttle for quick and easy laughs. Her first name is Barbie after the blonde, blue-eyed doll from Mattel.

Ayeka was a cinch as the first officer. Like Kiyone, she is relatively bossy. Just as she was in the Mihoshi Galaxy Police Special, she is the heir to the Jurai plutocrats rather than the first princess of Jurai. I made her a lieutenant commander instead of a commander to explain why someone so young and pretty could have the position.

That left me with the problem of explaining why the captain was a teenage boy. The problem was solved by assuming that Captain Tenchi had a transporter accident during the "pilot episode," just as Picard, Guinan, Ro, and Keiko O'Brien did in ST:TNG's sixth season episode "Rascals". This also explains why Tenchi acts like an adult despite the fact that he is a teenager (something they never explained in the cartoons). Tenchi was always intended to fill the role of the captain. The entire point of the story was for Tenchi to be the straight man while being stuck with babysitting a quirky and only semi competent crew. As Ayeka was fond of pointing out, he was too kind hearted to discipline them properly, so things often get out of hand.

Ryo-oh-ki's adult form appeared in the ninth episode of the OAV's and the first issue of the Manga, "The All-New Tenchi Muyo." I thought that it would be funny to have the character that couldn't talk in charge of communications. In episode thirteen of Tenchi Universe, Mihoshi suggests that "Whiskers" would be a better name for a cat than Ryo-oh-ki. Hence, on Star Trek: Pioneer, Ryo-oh-ki plays the role of Ensign Whiskers.

Nobuyuki was always intended to be the captain of the freighter from the beginning.

Sakuya, Tenchi's girlfriend from Tenchi In Tokyo was cast as the captain's yeoman in Chapter Eight, "Run Ryoko Run." Although intended as a cameo appearance, she filled in as a minor crewmember in later chapters.

Haruna, the ghost girl from Tenchi Forever, appeared in the same chapter. She was also meant to only be seen once, but I couldn't resist adding her to later chapters, particularly chapter thirteen, "Shipshape", where she is the unlucky officer that Ayeka makes an example of. Her first name, "Camille," was mentioned in Tenchi Forever.

Master Chief Suvok was based on the nameless Galaxy Police officer that died in the first minute of the fourth episode of the OAV, Mihoshi Falls to the Land of Stars. He looked like a one-eyed Spock, so his inclusion in a Tenchi Muyo Star Trek story is a no-brainer. Since he is one of the few characters that we see die in the series, he got the role of the "redshirt" that always seemed to die in the original series. Like a true redshirt, his role in the OAV was to show how serious the situation is and how dangerous the villain could be. Of course, his role in my story was a bit more arbitrary. At the last moment I decided to spare him, both to keep Mihoshi from getting in trouble and so the character will be available should I write a sequel and need somebody to "get it." His name is, of course, a combination of "Spock" and "Tuvok", but you probably figured that out by now. His rank is the highest rank enlisted personnel can achieve in the navy and it is also the rank of the hero from the Halo video games.

After Yosho was cast as the chief medical officer, I still needed an incredibly powerful super being. Although Tokimi was available, I chose Tsunami because she was in the OAV's the manga, and the Pretty Sammy series. Simply put, she has more screen time than Tokimi does, and let's face it, I like her better. Unlike the Metrons in the Star Trek: The Original Series first season episode, "The Arena", I decided to give Tsunami a better reason to interfere in the affairs of less developed beings than herself. In the OAV, she was the first tree in the universe, so in my story, she is the guardian of the holy trees of Druidia.

Trivia:

Throughout the story, I have hidden obscure Tenchi Muyo and Star Trek references. For example, hidden in every stardate but the last is a date of a Tenchi Muyo release in Japan. If you decide to read this again, see how many you can find.

Deleted Scenes:

Chapter One:

When Washu enters the bridge with Tenchi, she has pointy ears, just like Spock. As soon as she reaches her science station, she sneezes and her false ears fall off.

Chapter Fifteen: Shipshape

"Ha!" Ryoko exclaimed. "You won't see me within fifty light-years of that place!" The pirate gulped self-consciously. "I mean, see you in a thousand years!" She smiled and waved in an exaggerated way.

Tsunami gently chuckled. "Good-bye. Don't give up trying to be more than you are…" She faded away like a ghost. "Farewell."

In orbit around the planet Druidia, the starship Pioneer was restored to full power.

On the bridge the ladies were sitting around smoking and chatting.

Kiyone said, "So I told my dad, 'It's my business If I want to go the beach and run around naked…'"

Ayeka gasped and pointed straight at the camera. "Look out everybody! The readers are back!"

Kiyone jerked and nearly choked on her cigarette. "What?"

Mihoshi put her hands to her face in alarm. "Oh no! I didn't realize that we were in this chapter!"

Chapter Seventeen: Throwdown

"Where's Mr. Suvok?" Tenchi asked.

"He's dead, Jim," Washu responded.

Bloopers

1:

Lt. Commander Ayeka, the first officer, leaned over to Lt. Kiyone, the chief tactical officer and murmured. "Whose idea was it for Ryo-oh-ki in her adult humaniod form to play the officer in charge of communications?"

"Give me a break," Kiyone retorted quietly. "It was the only position on the ship where she wouldn't have to stand up. You know she's still wobbly on two legs."

At waist level blue words appeared.

Haruna as Ensign Camille Haruna

"Yaah!" Ayeka screamed as she tripped over Haruna's name. "I'm all right!" The camera closed up on her embarassed but smiling face.

2:

"Well, what is it?" Ayeka snapped testily. "I haven't got all day!"

"Meow! Meow! Meow!" futilely said the communications officer.

The first officer's face nearly became as purple as her hair. "Errg!" she groaned. "Get me a communications officer who's fluent in Japanese right now!

"Who's fluent in what?" Kiyone asked wryly.

"In Japanese…" Ayeka stopped suddenly and started blushing. "Oh that's right. The line was 'Get me a communications officer who's fluent in basic Star Fleet Galactic English right now.' Oops. My bad. Sorry. Heh heh. Can we shoot that again?"

3:

"Captain on the bridge," Ayeka stood up from the command chair and snapped to attention. The other officers on the bridge stood up at their consoles too.

Ensign Whiskers was stuggling mightily as her knees wobbled beneath her. She meowed pitifully as she fell to her knees and clutched her comm panel for dear life.

"Oh, let me help you," Mihoshi left her console to assist Ryo-oh-ki's valiant struggle to stand at attention. Ryo-oh-ki grasped Mihoshi for support. "Whoa, waa…" exclaimed the blonde as the two swayed unsteadily on their feet. "Whoa!" Unable to keep their balance, the catwoman and the blonde fell to the floor.

"Mihoshi," Kiyone giggled from the tactical console. "W-what are you doing?"

The entire bridge broke out laughing as the camera zoomed in on Mihoshi's embarrased smile.

4:

Meanwhile, in the Pioneer's transporter room, Mihoshi discovered that transporting living matter through space was tougher than it looked. "Okay, energizing dispersal pattern, molecular imaging scanner functioning normally, phase transition coils energized…" She squinted at the control panel and her hands danced over the touch sensitive controls quickly as her speech accelerated. "Energizing um, emitter array…anal confinement beam activated, widespread dork manipulation field …" She sighed and muttered a word not fit for a story with a 'T' rating.

5:

In sickbay:

"That's impossible," Tenchi shook his head. "How does she do it?"

"She burns up calories like the warp drive devours deutronium," Yosho answered. "What I haven't figured out is how she can survive possessing the charge of a saurian…crap.."

6:

The cyan haired woman blinked and opened her eyes and sat up. "Where am I?" she asked as she rubbed her eyes. "Who are you?"

"I'm James Tenchi of the Pioneer and this is Doctor McCoy," the young captain replied. Suddenly the boy started laughing. "McCoy. This is Doctor Katsuhito Yosho."

"Dammit, Jim, I'm a doctor, not a Shinto priest!" Yosho joked with a southern accent.

7:

On the bridge, Ayeka stood up from her engineering station. "Captain, I suggest that we go to red alert!"

"We're in the middle of a space battle, Ayeka," Tenchi replied. "I think the crew knows we're in combat."

"None-the-less, regulations dictate that we sound general quarters and consider the ship in a red alert situation," Ayeka spoke to the captain in a rather imperious tone.

Suddenly things got very quiet. The camera closed on Mihoshi who was watching the viewscreen with a very serious expression on her face. When she realized she missed her cue, she silently cursed and looked at the camera.

8:

On the desert planet, the pirate confronted the space captain. "You're the nutjob, Tenchi!" Ryoko threatened. "She left us here to kill each other or starve to death! Well I'm not going to come in second place!" She picked up the lirpa and twirled it like a cheerleader's baton. "Come on Captain, time for your whuppin'!"

Tenchi gulped, then rolled to the ground to retrieve the second weapon and leapt back to his feet. "Now wait a…"

Tenchi never got a chance to finish his sentence. "Yah!" Ryoko cried as she hurled herself at him, the lirpa held over her head like a sword. She slashed down at him but he rolled to the side. "Hah!" She swung the awkward weapon from right to left and Tenchi cried out and clutched his groin as he collapsed to the ground.

"Oh no!" Ryoko dropped her lirpa and knelt at the stricken boy's side and put her hand on his shoulder. "I'm sorry! Are you all right?"

Tenchi could only squirm on the ground in hideous pain.

9:

Ayeka is wearing a dress uniform and an American World War II army helmet decorated with three gold stars. She faces the camera.

"We are all excited here at Wimbleton," says the purple-haired princess. "Everyone is very excited and expectations run high in the stands…"

10:

On the planet, Ryoko and Tenchi are hugging each other while sitting on the ground. "It looks like I'm taking advantage of you," she snickered, and then her voice became high pitched like a child's. "C'mon Tenchi, I'm giving up my freedom. Don't I get a little love and affection before I'm restricted to scheduled conjugal visits?"

Tenchi turned bright red and Ryoko was afraid he'd pull away from her. "Ryoko I--"

She silenced him by pressing her mouth against his. Soon she started licking up and down the boy's face like a dog.

"Ryoko!" Tenchi giggled, "Stop that!"

11:

On the bridge, Ayeka sat back down, cleared her throat, and straightened her uniform. "Lieutenant Mihoshi, set course for…hey! Where is Lieutenant Mihoshi anyway?"

The bridge was silent aside of the sound effects from the computers and instruments in the room. After a minute, the doors to the elevator hissed open and a tall flustered blonde scrambled into the room as she tied her dripping wet hair in a ponytail. "I'm late!" Mihoshi cried. "I'm late! Oh my! I'm sorry!"

"Not only that, but you missed your cue!" Kiyone called out.

12:

"Take a shuttle?" Washu eyed her superior dubiously. "Into a canyon? That's highly dangerous. Do you remember who our shuttle pilot is?"

Ayeka glanced fearfully at the helm station. Lieutenant Mihoshi was sticking her front teeth out of her mouth and making sounds like, "Duh, doy, doy, doy!"

Ayeka put a hand to her mouth to stifle a laugh.

13:

On the planet's surface, Washu was talking to Mr. Suvok.

"If that's the case, you shouldn't have worn a red shirt," Washu stated flatly.

"What?" Suvok glanced down at his uniform in horror. Indeed, as the Pioneer's most senior enlisted security specialist, he was wearing a red sweater. "Oh no!"

"Oops!" While admiring the view from the top of the cliff, Mihoshi slipped on a banana peel and careened head along towards Suvok. She missed the one-eyed Vulcan and nearly tumbled off the cliff before the pointed eared master chief caught her.

"Whoops!" Mihoshi blushed. "Can we try that again?"

14:

With an impossible backflip, Ryoko hurled herself into the air and positioned herself right behind Washu as she seized the short science officer by the shoulders.

"Hey!" Washu yelped.

"I've got her!" Mihoshi called out. "Phaser on stun!" Before Washu could say anything Mihoshi shot a pulse of energy out of her phaser and hit cyan-haired space pirate in the face. Ryoko groaned and fell to the ground, releasing the carrot topped science officer from her grasp.

"Whoops!" giggled Washu. "You were supposed to hit me!"

"I can't believe it," chuckled Mihoshi. "I actually messed up, messing up!"

15:

"I mean it's time that I let you know how I really feel," Tenchi pulled on his collar nervously, then glanced down at his plate. "I've always been fond of you Ayeka, maybe a little too fond. Last year, I was way too old for you…" He put his hand to his chin and glanced up at the ceiling. "Of course, now, the situation seems to be reversed…" He gathered his courage and met her gaze. " I know that a shipboard romance is an awful risk, but still…I'm willing to try if you are. I know that you're infatuated with me, and I feel the same about you. The question is: Should we try to take our relationship beyond friendship?"

Ayeka's eyes glistened in the candlelight and her voice was as quiet and as high-pitched as a flute. "Why James…why Tenchi…I never knew you felt this way…I…I…" There was an awkward pause, and then Ayeka spoke again. "I-I don't know what to say…" Tenchi grinned stupidly and Ayeka was struggling to keep her face solemn, but the corners of her mouth kept curling upwards of their own accord. "Just give me a chance to think about it…"

"It's nice that this moment isn't being interrupted, isn't it?" Tenchi asked her.

Ryoko's voice could be heard off stage. "Oh, I'm sorry, did I miss my cue?"

16:

Multiple shots of various cast members running into the sliding doors when they fail to open on time.

Afterword

Well, I hoped all of you enjoyed reading Tenchi Trek as much as I enjoyed writing it. If you want a sequel write in a tell me (and give me some suggestions, too. I'm out of ideas). Don't be afraid to tell me what worked and what didn't. I've made several revisions to earlier chapters since they were first released and I probably will continue to proofread and correct my errors so don't be afraid to comment if you think it will make this story better or improve the next one.

Before I go I'd like to thank my reviewers for giving me feedback, advice and encouragement.

Remember if you don't like this story, write your own and show us all how it's done! They say everyone has a story in them. This was mine. Go out and write yours!

Hailing Frequencies Closed,

Galaxy1001D