All characters belong to Janet Evanovich

Warning: Angst. Spoilers up to LMT

It's Never Too Late

Chapter One

I'm tired of being what you want me to be
Feeling so faithless
Lost under the surface
I don't know what you're expecting of me
Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes
(Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow)
Every step that I take is another mistake to you

I've become so numb
I can't feel you there
Become so tired
So much more aware
I'm becoming this
All I want to do
Is be more like me
And be less like you

Can't you see that you're smothering me?
Holding too tightly, afraid to lose control
Cause everything that you thought I would be
Has fallen apart right in front of you

(Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow)
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
(Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow)
And every second I waste is more than I can take

I've become so numb
I can't feel you there
Become so tired
So much more aware
I'm becoming this
All I want to do
Is be more like me
And be less like you

And I know
I may end up failing too
But I know
You were just like me
With someone disappointed in you

"Numb" by Linkin Park

Stephanie Plum didn't know if she could take another minute of this hell.

Like a dutiful daughter, she was sitting at her mother's dining room table, trapped between her mother and Joe Morelli. Over the prerequisite pot roast and mashed potatoes, they both made a point to dwell on how she was ruining her life by not quitting her job and marrying Joe.

Joe had proposed to her the night before. Stephanie had said no. That led to a heated argument in the middle of Pino's, which Mrs. Plum had found out about before Stephanie even left the restaurant. Stephanie had told Joe that they were through, and her mother took it upon herself to force her daughter to attend a family dinner, not bothering to tell her youngest child that Joe Morelli would be in attendance.

The second Stephanie walked through the door, she knew that she had been ambushed. Joe and her mother were the Burg, and no matter how hard she tried, Stephanie couldn't escape the bonds of her "loved one's" expectations.

Maybe if Ranger had been around, then things would be different. But he was "in the wind", and had been for the past two months. Her life had gone downhill since the day he left town. Work was not going well. With her best friend gone, she had been distracted. Another car had been blown up, she had rolled in garbage almost daily, and the bets at the police station were going in full swing. Every time she showed up to turn a skip in, those she had thought were friends had taken time to tease and belittle her.

"Gee, Steph, can't you do anything the easy way?"

"Thanks, Steph. I just made $200 off of you."

"Damn, Steph, what dumpster did you crawl out of?"

Even Lula had commented on her lousy mood.

"Damn girl, you need to get laid. Can't you get Super Cop to do the deed?"

For the last two months, any shred of confidence and self worth Stephanie had managed to hold onto had gone out the window. In her mind, she was a failure. A thirty-year-old nobody who couldn't grow up. Who couldn't settle down and become what she was meant to be.

Stephanie was losing control. It was becoming harder to find a reason to get out of bed in the mornings. Every night when she came home, there were a barrage of messages on her answering machine, usually from her mother, recapping every mistake she made that day. Every message from her mother ended with "why can't you be like your sister?".

Stephanie slowly began to withdraw into herself. She didn't stop and chat with Connie and Lula at the office anymore. She just grabbed her files and left. When one of the Merry Men called to invite her to a club, she didn't return the phone call. She only hung out with Joe because her mother demanded it. And she only went to family dinners because if she didn't, her mother would show up at her door and declare her a bad daughter and a Burg failure.

Stephanie would give anything to have Ranger there with her. She desperately needed his unconditional support.

But he wasn't there.

Now, stuck at the dining room table between her mother and Joe, Stephanie felt herself slipping further away. She knew she had changed. She knew everybody noticed. But she just couldn't muster up the strength to care anymore.

Nothing mattered anymore.

Stephanie stared at her plate, mindlessly pushing the food around with her fork. She had lost her appetite. She couldn't remember the last time she enjoyed food. The jeans that were once too tight to breathe in now hung limply on her thin frame.

Her mother refilled her wine glass and studied her with a critical eye. "Stephanie, quit playing with your food and eat. You look like a skeleton. If you would learn how to cook, you wouldn't be so skinny."

Stephanie closed her eyes and tried to block out her mother's voice. Wasn't it enough that she was there in the first place? Why did everyone expect her to give up herself and follow in her mother's footsteps? What was so great about Ellen Plum's life that everyone had to imitate her? What was so damn great about cleaning house and taking care of a brood of children and cooking all day? Why was it so important that she give up everything to take care of a fully-grown man? Why couldn't he take care of his damn self? Why did it have to be all on her shoulders?

Stephanie sat quietly as her mother and Joe talked over her about how she was wasting her life by being immature. It wasn't as if she were any good at her job. Lately, she couldn't pick up a skip without getting covered in old garbage.

"You need to act like an adult, Stephanie. Joe wants to marry you and give you a home and children. What, do you think you're too good for him? I didn't raise you to be stuck up."

Usually, Stephanie would just tell her mother that she wasn't comfortable with the idea of marriage again. Her first shot with Dickie had been a nightmare. She couldn't go through the pain and humiliation again. But now, Steph had lost the energy to fight. What good would it do? They never listened to her anyway.

When her mother got up to get dessert, Stephanie excused herself to go to the bathroom. Once she was out of the dining room, she quietly grabbed her purse and snuck out the front door.

She stood on the front porch, staring out at Joe's Ducati. She had planned to borrow Big Blue now that her car had been destroyed, but it seemed like too much trouble to ask. It would mean going back into the house and sitting through another hour of criticism. She couldn't take anymore.

Stephanie started walking towards her apartment. She didn't even bother to check her surroundings. In her mind, she would be lucky if someone jumped out to kill her. One more disappointment and her family could go on as if she never existed. Joe could forget about her and marry a perfectly respectable Burg girl who wanted nothing more than to bear his children and make his lasagna. Even Ranger would be better off. He would save a fortune with her out of the way. No more cars and bodyguards to lose because of her incompetence.

Stephanie stared straight ahead, not noticing her surroundings. She never noticed when she passed her building. She just kept walking. The air became chilly and she was wearing short sleeves, but she didn't notice. So what if she got sick? At least it was an excuse to hide in bed all day.

Stephanie walked around for hours. By the time she made it back to her apartment, it was past midnight. Shivering from the cold, she walked into the lobby of her building and up the stairs. She walked into her apartment and shut the door, not bothering to lock up. Dropping her purse, she went straight for the cookie jar. With trembling hands, she removed her gun and carried it into the living room.

Stephanie stood in the dark, staring at the cold steel in her hands.

Has it really come to this? She wondered, amazed at how far she had fallen. Am I really so far gone that this is my only way out?

She wavered on her legs and fell to her knees, holding the gun tightly in her hands. The harsh glare from the streetlights filtered through her window, giving the weapon in her hands a strange sort of glow.

Is there anything else I can do to make things right?

Stephanie shook her head. No matter what she said, her mother wouldn't listen. It didn't matter that Stephanie didn't want that kind of life. In her mother's eyes, she was a failure if she refused to follow in her footsteps.

Stephanie stared at the gun, wondering what would happen if she actually went through with it. She was raised Catholic, so she had an idea where she would end up. Was one Hell really worse than the one she was already living in?

God help me! What do I do?

She knew that she really didn't want to die. She was afraid of death, afraid of what was there. Would she end up in the fiery pits or would God take pity on her and let her into Heaven? Did Heaven and Hell really exist? Or would she pull the trigger and find out that there was nothing after death. Nothing at all but spending eternity in a wooden box six feet under.

Stephanie didn't want to die. But she didn't want to live, either.

She was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't notice the black boots that appeared in front of her. She didn't notice the man kneeling down before her, pain and worry etched in his tired face. She didn't notice the warm, strong hand that covered hers, carefully removing the gun from her grasp. All she knew was that she couldn't keep going on the way she had been.

Chapter Two

This world will never be
What I expected
And if I don't belong
Who would have guessed it?
I will not leave alone
Everything that I own
To make you feel like it's not too late
It's never too late.

Even if I say it'll be alright
Still I hear you say
You want to end your life
Now and again we try
To just stay alive
Maybe we'll turn it all around
Cause it's not too late
It's never too late

No one will ever see
This side reflected
And if there's something wrong
Who would have guessed it
And I have left alone
Everything that I own
To make you feel like
It's not too late
It's never too late.

Even if I say it'll be alright
Still I hear you say
You want to end your life
Now and again we try
To just stay alive
Maybe we'll turn it all around
Cause it's not too late
It's never too late

The world we knew
Won't come back
The time we've lost
Can't get back
The life we had
Won't be ours again

This world will never be
What I expected
And if I don't belong

Even if I say it'll be alright
Still I hear you say
You want to end your life
Now and again we try
To just stay alive
Maybe we'll turn it all around
Cause it's not too late
It's never too late
Maybe we'll turn it all around
Cause it's not too late
It's never too late
It's not too late
It's never too late.

"Never Too Late" by Three Days Grace

Ranger Manoso knew that something was wrong when Tank called him out of the blue. His first thought was that Stephanie had gotten hurt.

"You need to get home now, Ranger." Tank's voice was strained with worry and Ranger felt like throwing up.

"What happened to her?" Ranger had asked right away. The only reason that Tank would call him while he was away could only mean that something had happened to Steph.

"Something's not right with Bombshell," Tank had said. "She's been withdrawn lately. She won't talk to us and she's going around town like the living dead."

"What happened to her?" Ranger couldn't imagine what had turned his beautiful, spirited, lively Babe into the picture that Tank had described.

"I don't know." Tank's lack of answers weighed heavily on the man. "She's been going after skips distracted. Her car's been blown up and apprehensions that she usually had no trouble with have been disastrous. I think she needs to talk to someone, but she won't let anybody close enough to help."

The job Ranger was on was almost over. He could leave someone else in charge to take care of the rest. Even if he didn't have a backup, Ranger didn't care. Something was wrong with Steph and he needed to get to her.

Without a second thought, he found himself on the next plane to Newark. The entire flight he was in a panic. What had happened to her? Had somebody hurt her? The thought left Ranger breathless as the fear gripped him.

He got back the following evening. He was exhausted, but his fear had left him with a constant stream of adrenaline. Tank was waiting for him when he landed and they got into the Bronco, heading straight for Trenton. Thankfully, the GPS tracker was still in her purse and Lester called to tell them that she was at her parent's house.

Ranger dropped Tank off at RangeMan and headed straight for the Burg. Parking down the block from the Plum's house, he noticed Morelli's Ducati parked out front. There weren't any other cars except for Steph's parents' vehicles, and he remembered that another one of Steph's cars had been destroyed.

He sat there, watching the house for about thirty minutes. A little after six thirty, the front door opened. Ranger watched as his Babe walked out and he froze in shock at her appearance. Even from this distance he could see how thin she was. Her expression was numb as she stood on the front porch, staring into space. Ranger thought about getting out and going to her, but he needed to know what she would do. Something just told him to wait.

Without looking around, Steph walked down the steps and headed down the sidewalk. She stared straight ahead but Ranger had a feeling that she wasn't really seeing anything in front of her. Starting the Bronco, he slowly followed behind her.

Normally, she would notice if she were being followed, but she never looked back. Stephanie seemed to be in a daze as she kept walking. When they neared her apartment building, he expected her to go inside, but she just kept walking. Ranger didn't even think she noticed where she was.

God, what happened to her? He never thought he would see her this way. It was like she was dead inside and all that was left was a barely functioning shell. Seeing her that way scared him. She was the strongest person he knew. She had been kidnapped numerous times, shot, beaten, drugged, threatened, and almost raped and killed, and Ranger had never seen her in this bad of shape.

He followed her for hours. It was getting cold outside and she was only wearing a little tee shirt and a pair of jeans. She had to be freezing, but she showed no signs of noticing. Finally, a little after midnight, she made her way back to her apartment. Ranger watched as she went inside before parking near the dumpster. With his eyes glued to her window, he waited for a light to come on.

It never did.

He was hit with a sudden, overwhelming wave of dread. Making up his mind, he got out of the Bronco and ran into the building, taking the stairs three at a time. At her door, he leaned closer, listening for any sound of her moving around. He didn't hear a thing.

Ranger reached down for the doorknob, planning on breaking in. The knob twisted in his hand and the door swung open. She hadn't even locked up behind her.

The apartment was dark, but once inside, he could hear her quiet sobs. Closing the door behind him, he made his way toward her. The sight he encountered in the living room left him cold with horror.

She was on her knees on the floor, clutching her .38 in her trembling hands. By her posture and the way she was staring at the gun, Ranger knew exactly what she was planning to do.

Dear God, how did she get to this point?

He would never have imagined that Stephanie would get to the point where she would contemplate suicide. His heart stopped in his chest and he couldn't catch his breath. If something happened to her, he didn't think he could go on. What would his life be without her? She brought light and joy into his dark little world. She made him laugh. She made life unpredictable. And now, she was staring at the barrel of a gun, thinking about ending it all.

All that flashed through Ranger's mind in a split second. Careful so as not to startle her, he made his way into the room and kneeled down in front of her. She didn't even notice him, just stared straight ahead as he reached out and covered her hand with his. When she didn't move, he pulled the gun out of her hand and placed it on the coffee table, out of her reach.

Turning back to her, Ranger studied her face. She had lost so much weight. Her face was too thin, her eyes haunted as she stared straight ahead. It broke his heart to see that the spark, the fire that had once lived in those baby blues was missing.

"Steph…Babe…"He whispered, covering her cold hands with his. Jesus Christ, she was cold as ice! She never blinked and he reached out, pulling her into his lap. Wrapping his arms around her frail body, he held her tight against his chest and rocked her.

"Babe, I'm here," Ranger said, running his fingers through her hair. Shit, even her hair looked lifeless. The once wild curls now hung limp, framing a face that looked empty and gaunt. The lump in his throat expanded and he gasped for breath. He didn't know what to do. He had no idea how to make her better. He would give his life just to see that spark in her eyes, that wonderful, bright smile on her face.

Stephanie went limp in his arms and Ranger held her even tighter, listening to her ragged breathing. She had stopped sobbing and now, she just stared into space, not seeing. Making up his mind, Ranger reached for his phone. Tank answered on the first ring.

"Yo."

Ranger cleared his throat, trying to mask his emotion. "Tank, I'm taking Steph to my house. I need you to come to her apartment and pack a bag for her. Bring her stuff and Rex back to my place."

"Is she okay?" Tank detected the worry in his friend's voice.

Ranger glanced down at the woman in his arms. She hadn't moved a muscle. "I don't know. I just need to get her out of here."

"I'm heading over now."

Ranger snapped his phone closed and stood up slowly, bringing Stephanie with him. Looking down in her face, he saw that her eyes were closed. By the way she was breathing, he knew that she had fallen asleep. By the dark circles under her eyes, he guessed that she had passed out from exhaustion.

"I'll take care of you, Babe," he whispered in her hair, inhaling the scent that was still her. At least that hadn't changed. "We'll fix whatever's wrong. I promise."

Okay, I know this is much darker than "the distraction" was, but just go along with me. I have the songs on my mp3 player and I hear them every time I write, and I ended up with this idea in my head. I hope you like it. Please let me know.