10 Things You Shouldn't Say to Voldemort

#1. Hey Tommy! Haven't you ever heard of a TANNING BED? It's this great new invention that makes it look like you aren't made of paper!

#2. You're going to kill me?! Wait! I challenge you to . . . a DANCE-OFF!

#3. I bet Chuck Norris could kick your $!

#4. Guess what? OMG, you will NEVER, EVER believe this, EVER!! Ok, ok, here it goes . . . YOU. ARE. FICTIONAL!

#5. Voldie, I realize that you had a very troubled childhood. Your mother was a manipulative shrew, and your father was never really there for you, but never fear. I think I know the perfect way to make it all better. Now, come here and give me a HUG!

#6. Have you tried yoga? It really helps with all your stress issues.

#7. I really think you should consider a hair-restoration treatment, Baldemort.

#8. Yo mama is so fat, a regular broom wouldn't carry her. She had to ride a Swiffer!

#9. You know, if you had a girlfriend, maybe you wouldn't be so bent on complete world domination.

#10. Don't take this the wrong way or anything . . . but you scare little children.

Why You Shouldn't Say those 10 Things to Voldemort:

Two simple words: Avada Kedavra.

A/N: Just so you know . . . I'm all hopped up on Mountain Dew.