The Long Road – A post-Dirge Vincent,Reno&Cloud Fanfiction
the battle will never be over, no matter how many times you end the story.

Disclaimer: SQEX owns the characters, the history, and the world. The plot is my own. If I catch you stealing, I will bash your head in with a long metal pole. Don't underestimate me; I have done this to someone before.

Note: Don't question why they're playing Texas Hold'em when there's no Texas in FF7. They're doing it 'cause I told them to.

1--

Lighting up a cigarette, I leaned over the railing outside Healin lodge and took a deep breath of the cool evening air. A bottle of brew swung absently from one hand, my chin rested in the other as I surveyed the rocky path beneath us winding down the mountain face. We'd been located here for such a long time now I could almost call it home, and I would, if it didn't just feel so far-fetched to me. Coming from Sector 7, way, way back before I'd dropped a massive block of concrete on the thing, I found the city and this rocky mountain outcrop were worlds apart and three years just wasn't enough time to adapt. That wasn't to say I couldn't enjoy a cloudless summer night and the beautiful, moonlit scenery below me.

Most people who know me, or know of me because not many people really know me at all - it comes with the territory - would tell you that I don't take anything seriously. There's a little truth in that accusation, but only a little. I don't value much, besides my job, my life and the close-knit gang of Turks I have to put up with daily and would almost call friends. Oh hell, we're like a family. No friends fight as much as we do. That's not to say I'm shallow though; maybe I do like women and cigarettes and cheap booze, and prefer to breeze my way through life that put any recognizable effort into anything but I can still appreciate true beauty and shit. Anyone who couldn't look out over the chalk mountainside and thriving greenery under this blue star-littered sky at 25 years old and not appreciate it has to be insane. The beer and cigarettes were just a bonus. This was definitely something I'd never see in Midgar.

Most people in Midgar – or rather, in Edge, as central Midgar was still in shambles – knew that we were hiding out now. It was common knowledge that the President was still alive and kicking since he'd thrown himself out the side of a building in Edge a year ago, firing rounds at Jenova's trophy head while he fell. Many people still didn't believe it and most people didn't like it but Rufus was alive regardless. Luckily, most of the few who knew where we were hiding kept their mouths shut. Remind me to add keeping secrets to the increasingly long, annoying list of things AVALANCHE were good for, along with saving the world and all that.

Said ex-terrorist group seemed to no longer have a problem with our existence which settled just fine with me. They weren't even questioning what we were up to, which was also good because any answer I could have given them wouldn't have sounded believable. The president could deliver hour-long speeches on his change of heart and how he wanted to save the world now too, but they'd fall on deaf ears and so it was just easier to keep our activities to ourselves. Being on the brink of death more than once had humbled Rufus Shinra, somehow, and I had a feeling he was quite happy being the silent hero now.

Needless to say, most of my work nowadays was either playing bodyguard to the President when leaving the lodge was absolute necessity, or running errands anonymously. It got quite frustrating, because it made me feel old and obsolete, and 25 was definitely not old in my book. It did give me more time to drink though, and wallow away in a deep pit of self-evaluation. It was not something I enjoyed doing, but I found myself doing so more and more often as the weeks turned to months, which had slipped by unnoticed and turned to years.

This wasn't one of those 'what am I doing with my life?' moments, don't get me wrong, because I will always be content with my job and my lot in life; there was no way I couldn't be with the sorry history I had under my belt. Just because I don't hold everything in highest regard, doesn't mean I'm not content. It was more like feeling that something was missing; an empty space I had no idea how to fill. It was easy enough to put it down to the recent mediocrity of my job, and say it was just the thirst for action and adventure that I could feel, but after doing that for six months, the analogy lost it's allure. If nothing else, the feeling was something to dwell on as I wasted away every nice night like this one alone, as always.

I took a sip of my beer and a drag on my cigarette, and then another sip just because I could and there was really nothing else in the world I had to be doing right that moment. This relaxing thought made me feel old, too. I didn't want to feel like I was going into retirement this young. I was only a quarter of the way through my life, or at least I hoped as much! I was fit, healthy – if you ignore the two things I was currently indulging in – and untroubled. I'd heard somewhere that was the recipe for a long, happy life. If I didn't get it, I'd march on into the lifestream and complain to the editor about false leads. Or something.

Taking another drag and another sip in turn, I glanced back towards the lodge and considered a game of chess with Rude. It was hardly my favourite pastime, especially with the big guy because he was something of a genius behind those sunglasses – so much so, I sometimes wonder if behind the thick skin of his, he's really a robot but I don't really want to go into why I entertain such childish thoughts – but I was getting bored and bothered by every minute I was left alone with my thoughts. I didn't want to 'dwell'. Dwelling was for old men and women who were past their sell-by-date.

Self-assured enough to know that I wasn't past my sell-by-date, I pushed the thought aside. Rude always won anyway, and I always got fidgety and tried to cheat when I thought he was looking at something else. For lack of any else to do, I finished the last few mouthfuls of my beer and tossed the bottle into the bushes below. I watched down into the darkness, and smiled at the satisfying smash that followed as it hit the chalk mountainside before I headed inside to find myself another drink.

Rude wasn't in the lounge room, nor was Tseng. Elena sat with her bare feet up on the couch, channel-hoping, her pretty face illuminated by the blue light of the TV in the dark room. Rufus was in his armchair, asleep behind his newspaper, which would have made me laugh if it hadn't made me frown anxiously. Here I was, telling myself that I wasn't old and there Rufus was, a whole year my junior, sleeping in his chair like an old geezer. It wasn't fair!

Shooting a small smile of recognition towards Elena to match her own, I headed through the lodge without a word to the kitchen in pursuit of another beer or perhaps something stronger, if we had it.

Healin lodge, I decided, was like the countryside home of an aunt and uncle you might visit as a child; not that I'd ever had one. Everything was a little too close quartered and rustic for me to ever feel truly comfortable and I mused that perhaps this was why it still didn't feel like home after three years. I would be neither shocked nor surprised if a sheepdog was to come running through the corridor and trip me over …Or maybe it was just feeling like we were waiting for something else to happen. It was no secret to the Turks that Rufus did want to rebuild ShinRa; I didn't doubt that he'd already started to do so in the last year but the President tended to keep these things between him and Tseng and that was fine with me. I wasn't good with politics. I had no problem with it being rebuilt – ShinRa was my life, had been my life since I was fifteen years old, and I'd be more than happy to return to the city. Rufus may have changed, he may have no longer wanted to rule with brute force and fear, but it was understandable that a man like him would want to continue his reign as President of the free world should he get the chance. The thing about Rufus Shinra was that he didn't wait for chances to come around; he made them himself. Once upon a time that had been a frightening concept but these days I found it quite inspiring.

As my eyes fell on a long forgotten bottle of bourbon at the back of one of our cupboards and I came to the instantaneous decision that I needed to stop thinking like I was one man out to change the world. No more of this 'inspiring' bullshit. Reno Sinclair did not 'inspire' or 'aspire' to anything and gaia-forbid people start taking me for more than the carefree bastard that I was. I snatched up the bottle proudly, along with a glass from the draining board that I could be sure was clean because I hadn't washed it myself – I'm not the most thorough dishwasher – and headed for the staircase down to our private rooms. I found alcohol the most effective method of purging unwanted thoughts from my head and would choose it over 'dwelling' any day. Half the population of Edge was probably with me.

As I passed Rude's room, I heard voices inside, which I could safely assume were those of my missing comrades as neither was female and Rufus was still asleep, but I thought I'd stick my head around the door anyway. When we first arrived at Healin we'd all been on edge, expecting an assassination attempt on the President's life as if someone knew he'd survived Weapons attack on Midgar. In the last year since Rufus' dramatic reappearance, there had been the occasional attempt from do-gooders who thought they were doing the world a favour or just wanted to be heroes themselves like the 'Great AVALANCHE' and destroy the last Shinra. None of the attempts had been well planned or even close to successful, and we felt we had little to worry about, so checking that the voices I could hear were definitely Rude and Tseng was just for old times sake and out of boredom.

I slipped into the room almost unnoticed and leant back against the wall beside the door, taking a gulp of bourbon straight out of the bottle and folding my arms. Tseng stood staring out the window, muttering to himself and Rude sat against the edge of the desk, watching him. "What we discussin, boys?" I asked, if only to break the uneasy silence that seemed to have fallen over the room.

Both men jerked around at the sound of my voice and I couldn't help but snicker because really, they should have noticed my presence and I'd thought they had, and had simply chosen to ignore me.

"How long have you been standing there, Reno?" Tseng frowned, massaging his temples with one hand. I took another sip of the bourbon, rolling the liquid around in my mouth and pretending to consider the question.

"About forty seconds." I answered finally, enjoying the sight of Tseng starting to fume when I didn't give him an answer. "Not long enough ta hear what the two of ya been talking about, but it seems ya slacking a little lately, huh? Should have been more alert than that."

I was only teasing, but Tseng's frown only deepened as he sighed at my words. "My apologies." He said sincerely, and it almost took me by surprise because Tseng has made a habit of never, ever apologizing to me because I annoy the man to high hell. The matter didn't even deserve an apology. "You're right. I've just got a lot on my mind at the moment."

Rude stayed silent as ever, but I could feel his dark eyes flicking between the two of us behind his ever-present sunglasses. I couldn't resist just one more jab at the Wutain man, because the situation was just begging for it. "Good thing ya got me ta save the President's life when ya wasting all yer time thinking yerself ta death then, huh?"

This caught his attention, and Tseng looked up at me again, all the seriousness of a man twice his age on his face. "Did something happen? Reno?" He almost sounded panicked, his lips parted anxiously and I'm sure a lesser man would have, but Tseng was good at keeping the emotion out of his voice. If nothing else, I'd give him that, and I actually respected the man for it. It was more than I could do.

"No, but I'm jus saying. If it did, ya wouldn't have ta worry, sir." I smirked, bringing the bottle back to my lips once more. He relaxed, and his lips pulled shut again into a tight line like always. That fleeting look of anticipation was probably the most expressive one I'd see on his face for a week. "So, are ya gonna tell me what we're talking bout here or not?"

Our Wutain leader turned back to the window as he considered it, so I moved to the bed and flopped down to make myself comfortable. I didn't need clarification, because the fact I hadn't been kicked out of the room yet was invitation enough to settle in. Discussing work sounded more fun than playing solitaire in my room like I'd planned on doing. Still, cards sounded good…

"I don't know if the President would want -"

"Tseng." Rude interrupted curtly, and both the Wutain and myself looked towards him in slight surprise. He stared at Tseng, boring holes into his eyes with his own behind those glasses. "Reno is as much a part of this company as any of us. He should know -"

Going against my curious nature, I cut him off here in fear of hearing Rude say more words than he'd ever spoken to our leader in his entire life and freaking the man out. Rude was my best friend, and I was just looking out for him, is all. "It's cool. Leave me outta yer politics; I'm probably better off that way. Want ta play a round of cards? We could even wake Old Man Shinra up."

Tseng narrowed his eyes in slight disapproval at my nickname but I wasn't taking it back even if I was older than the President. He was years ahead of me mentally; you wouldn't catch me dozing in an armchair behind a newspaper ever. "Rufus is asleep? Where is he?" He asked, making a beeline for the door and only pausing in the doorframe to wait for an answer. Rude stood up straight, which meant my suggestion was definitely going ahead. I was pretty happy about that, to be honest. Rude was good at chess but I was damn good at poker and blackjack. It's just one of those things you pick up as a kid in the slums. Perhaps I could even win myself a few gil tonight, if Rude was going to be a good sport.

"In his chair. Elena's watching TV in there though, so ya better watch out, Tsengy-boy." I grinned, following him out of the room with Rude in tow. Once again, I was only teasing, but we all knew Elena had a massive crush on the man. Tseng just didn't seem willing to accept it, which was a real shame if you thought about it, because she was a pretty, smart, strong girl and all that was going to waste. The Wutain man just grunted in response as we made our way up the wooden staircase into the main building again. Our private rooms sat further down the mountainside on the otherside of the lodge so they couldn't be seen from the road or the main entrance; since the second coming of Sephiroth when Geostigma had been cured, Rufus had since bought the sanatorium for our own personal used since it was no longer needed and made this adaptation for our own protection. We couldn't be on guard 24/7 and this extra distance kept us hidden from view and made good makeshift security.

Rude and me made a detour for the kitchen as Tseng headed over to the lounge, mumbling about getting the President to his bedroom. "Go ahead and do that sir," I teased, "then yer joining us fer a round of cards. Ask 'Laney if she wants ta join us, too."

Elena wouldn't want to but I knew she could hear me from the lounge and I liked to stay in her good books. She really was a pretty lady and we'd slept together a couple of times, usually after a night out boozing somewhere, but there was nothing between us. No spark, or anything, so we left it at that. Tseng didn't need know, nor anyone else for that matter, because I'd say it was pretty unprofessional of us. I did believe Tseng would come round, once he pulled his head out of his ass. How many more years of his life he was going to waste first I could only guess.

I set my bottle and glass down on the table as Rude took a seat and rummaged around in the cutlery draw for the spare set of cards. I had several packs, and I liked to leave them lying around the lodge but somehow they always got tidied up. I blamed Rufus. He liked things neat and precise. I couldn't say the same for myself. The only place I could ever find things without trying too hard was my own room, and that was because it's always a state, but it's a state I put it in. We were hardly expected to keep our rooms clean like rowdy teenagers, and for that I was ever grateful. It wouldn't sit well with me. Spearing my hand on a few knives in the process, I pulled my favourite pack out victoriously just as Tseng and Rufus passed the kitchen door.

"Reno, Rude." Rufus acknowledged, pausing in the doorway.

"Sir," we both nodded, and I couldn't resist asking. "Wanna join us fer a game?"

Something that somewhat resembled a smile graced his handsome face for a second but he shook his head. It was probably the most we could expect from the President anyway. He'd long since recovered from the Stigma and his injuries after the explosion but Rufus was often weary these days. I really didn't know what him and Tseng were up to but it took a lot out of him. "Not tonight Reno, but thank you. I'm going to bed." He said graciously, pausing for a moment before he added, "Don't stay up too late, I've got an assignment for the two of you tomorrow."

We nodded again as Tseng ushered him away from the door like an impatient father. It wasn't hard to tell that was pretty much how Tseng saw his relationship with the President; he'd been the man's guardian for many years and acted more like a parent to Rufus when he was younger than his own estranged old man had done. We didn't condone it; sometimes I wondered if Rufus would even be able to cope without Tseng around to tell him when to go to bed and other everyday, simple activities.

An assignment should have sounded promising but these days it was less so. For all we knew, he wanted us to go and fetch the shopping for that week. It was nothing to get excited about. I settled down at the table across from Rude and lit up a cigarette, pushing the pack of cards across to him so he could shuffle them whilst I smoked. It was an unspoken rule that we were starting with a game of 'Go Fish' because as childish as that was, we'd done it for almost ten years now since the first time I'd ever played cards with him. I was 16 when I met Rude; I'd been a Turk for a year, and him for three, and we were partnered up but back then, I wouldn't socialize much with anyone and although I'd never shut my mouth, every word I spoke was a verbal jab to my superiors or whoever happened to be in the room at the time. I got in trouble a lot back then, and then Rude came along and he didn't talk much either and it started to get on my nerves. Being partnered with someone who wouldn't let you get a word in edge way would have been bad, but at least then I could have had a reason to insult him. I had nothing to go on, nothing to laugh at besides his appearance and his silence, and "cat got ya tongue?" jokes got old pretty fast. Back then our leader, Veld, had informed us that if we didn't start acting like proper partners he'd send the both of us back to the academy. I didn't like that idea in the slightest – I'd only spent a couple of months there myself because I'd excelled as a fighter and they gave up trying to educate me at all and just gave me a job – so I actually made the rash decision to put some effort into trying to get to know the silent man. There's one thing I'd put effort into in my life, at least. It was worth it.

At first it seemed like I was just bothering the man with my efforts. Eventually, I managed to coax him to play a game of cards with me in my apartment; I was just a sixteen-year-old boy, who'd never had the luxury of living somewhere like an apartment in his life, and it did get lonely. As knowledgeable as I was about card games, all he could play was 'Go Fish' and so we did. We enjoyed it too, and it became a habit. He was a quick learner but even as I taught him every trick my book, we'd still always start the evening with the same stupid game. Nowadays it was like a ritual, at least when it was just the two of us playing cards.

I lifted up my seven cards and arranged them thoughtfully. I'm sure I looked like an idiot doing so, but I took every card game seriously. I liked competition. "Rude, got any fives?"

"Go fish." He replied, doing the same. I took a card from the pile and put mine face down on the tabletop again so I could pour myself a drink. Whoever this bourbon belonged to – I had a feeling it must have been left here when we bought the place – they'd had good taste. I generally didn't care for the flavour of my alcohol so long as it did its job but it was nice to drink something that didn't resemble truck fuel for once. "Any jack's?"

"No, but I got a bottle of brandless here," I sniggered, waving the bourbon towards him. He didn't look amused at my anecdote. At least I thought it was funny, but I sighed and lifted my hand of cards off the table again anyway. Arguing about it wasn't going to make it any funnier. "Damn!"

Once I'd handed my jack over, an amused smile finally spread across Rude's face. I scowled, gulping down what was in my glass hastily. The game continued so for several more minutes and I was finally winning when to my utmost surprise, Tseng returned to the kitchen.

"What are we playing then?" He asked, taking a seat beside Rude and glancing at the cards on the table.

"Go Fish." I said to both Tseng and Rude, leaning back on my chair. "We'll be done in a second, when I win." Rude snorted at my comment, taking a card and laying down a pair of sixes, which evened up the score.

"Go …Fish?" Tseng questioned, an eyebrow rising with his words.

I nodded, asking Rude if he had any Ace's before I explained, "Yeah, Rude and me always play it first thing, don' we buddy?"

He nodded, handing over an ace. I smirked, putting down my new pair and staring at my last card. I took a drink of my bourbon first, emptying the glass and pouring out another ready to take a victory drink.

"Nevermind then." The Wutain man frowned, standing up again. "I guess it was an overestimation to think we could do something 'grown-up' for once."

"Wait, Tseng. We'll play something else next… you're the boss, choice is yours. Jus watch this." I huffed, waving my hand at him so he'd sit down again. He did, slowly, and I took another sip of my drink. "Rude, got any kings?"

Tseng glanced at Rude's hand again and kept his face blank, but I could see the frustration on my partners. His eyebrows knitted together as he handed over his second to last card, which was the ace of spades. I punched the air victoriously. "What did I tell ya! I always win."

"You lost that game of blackjack last time." Rude pointed out, but I waved him away dismissively and knocked back my whole glass of bourbon. I was sufficiently tipsy tonight and dammit, I was going to make Tseng enjoy himself whether he wanted to or not.

"Drink, Tseng?" I questioned, getting up to make him one without waiting for an answer. I didn't get one, or at least not a vocal one and I was facing away from him, but I didn't care either way. I slid back into my seat and pushed the glass of bourbon towards Tseng and handed Rude one of his brews out of the fridge. "What we playin?"

The both of them took their drinks silently. Tseng considered the question for a moment, sipping the bitter liquid carefully like it would scald him or something if he drank any faster. "Poker?" He asked, reaching below the table and shifting about for a moment before producing his wallet and dropping it on the table. "Texas Hold'em. For gil."

"Good man," I grinned, and Rude clapped him on the shoulder as the two of us pulled out our own wallets. Money was always good for sprucing up a card game, anyway. "I'll deal."

A few rounds and several drinks later, I decided it would be a good idea to find out what my superiors had been talking about in Rude's room earlier that night. The man himself had retired to bed about ten minutes ago, but Tseng and I were drunk and playing Poker with two people didn't seem as stupid as it should have done anymore. "So sir," I started, cigarette hanging out of my mouth as I dealt again. "Any idea… what this mission is bout tomorrow? Anything ta do with what you were talking about earlier?"

"You heard that?" Tseng asked lazily, picking up his cards and leaning against his hand. He didn't drink very often, I could tell. He was an awkward drunk, at least.

"No. But I'm curious again." I chuckled. "Yer playin lil' blind, Tseng."

He nodded, chucking a few coins into the center of the table. "It's nothing important."

"Then tell me." I grinned, pushing my own money towards the center of the table. I had plenty to spare now. Rude had only headed off for the night because he realized I was taking advantage of Tseng's blatant intoxication to bugger him for all the money I could. I had no conscience when I was drunk. "Indulge me."

"I'm not gay, Reno." He snorted, as I lay out the first card and he matched my bet.

"What?!" I sniggered, slightly alarmed by his statement and why on earth he'd be saying that in the first place. I knocked back the rest of my drink and added to the bet.

"I won't indulge you. I'm not gay." He hissed awkwardly, his normally pale cheeks rosy with the drink and possibly embarrassment over what he was saying. I burst out laughing as I realized what he was assuming.

"What?? Neither am I! Are ya even listening ta what I'm saying anymore?"

He shook his head slowly, staring with glazed over eyes at the five cards in his hand and rearranging them pointlessly. Part of me realized as I watched him that we were playing this all wrong, but it didn't really matter right now. I was pocketing my boss's money, and he thought I was coming on to him. This night had turned out to be a complete success as far as I was concerned. This was more fun than I'd had in weeks.

"I was askin what Rufus is up to, but I think a different issue is at hand huh?" I chuckled, sucking on my cigarette for a moment while he thought about what I'd just said. It was quite humbling to see Tseng looking so lost and confused. It reminded me, in some fucked up way, of a small child, which was really freaky considering how much he'd had to drink. I might be an irresponsible man but I wouldn't let a kid drink.

"What do you mean?" He said finally, putting his cards down and effectively abandoning the game entirely.

"What I mean is, if ya not gay, why don' ya like 'Laney?" I was only messing with him; it was one of my favourite pastimes, playing with Tseng's head. The fact he was too drunk to get angry was just a bonus; the cherry on the cake.

"I never said that." He narrowed his eyes at me. I raised a thin brown eyebrow.

"So ya do like her?"

"I… I…" He stammered slightly, looking around the room like it would provide him with some sort of answer. I had him now! No excuses or escape attempts were going to get him out of this one! Except perhaps… "I… Rufus is sending you after Vincent Valentine!"