Story: Kage Bunshins
Author: Arsenic Android
Rating: M
Summary: "I guess you could call it masturbation. What I did care about was coming home and having a kage bunshin transformed into Sasuke so I could screw its brains out." SasukeXNaruto
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. Simple as that. -Hides in a corner- WAHHHH
Authoress' note: The inspiration for this story came about as I was reading Fight Club. I watched the movie recently, and when I first saw Tyler and the Narrator together, I was like "Yaoi moment!" And I was all prepared to write a story for it and post it here, but after I saw the ending, --SPOILERS FOR THE MOVIE COMING! IF YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW, DON'T READ THE NEXT PART-- I was like "dang!" but then I wondered what it would be like if they did get together, it would technically be masturbation, cause they are the same person right? --END SPOILERS!!--

Anywho, that got me thinking of Naruto and his kage bunshins. Haha! Orgy! So, I decided to write a NaruSasu/SasuNaru fic, featuring Naruto "masturbating," if you could call it that.. Also it's a bit angsty, and I'm not really sure why, it just came out that way. And another thing, I know Sasuke doesn't really come back to Konoha, but let's just pretend, shall we? On to the story! And please review and tell me how this turned out k?

August 25: 928 views and only 5 reviews? Hmm... (Attempting to guilt trip yoooou!)

I guess you could call it masturbation.

I however didn't see it as that. It was not a sin in my eyes, I was not killing a kitten everytime I did it, and frankly, I just didn't care.

What I did care about was coming home after a long and tiring mission, and having a kage bunshin transformed into Sasuke so I could screw its brains out. Having it scream my name in Sasuke's voice. Making it wear his clothes and act like him. Tie him up, do kinky games and sometimes watch two of them go at it.

The only downside was, inevitably, that it wasn't Sasuke. It wouldn't talk like him occasionally, would get cravings for ramen, and vanish in a puff of smoke if I pounded it too hard, leaving me with a raging hard on and little chakra left to create another one.

Sasuke was Sasuke. The bastard had left me for some guy who said he would give him power. He had left me with my fucking hands reached out for him, and he just turned his back. Sasuke was the guy I seriously fell for, we sweated together, we fought together, hell, we even bathed together. Sasuke was the guy who left me, didn't deserve me. He didn't deserve me, and yet I was like some sick fangirl, getting blowjobs from a fucking kage bunshin that looked like him.

It should have been perfect. It did everything I asked of it, it met my every need, and being with it was amazing. Yet, it wasn't Sasuke.

It's only after we've both come, and we're lying on the bed, covered in our own sweat and other liquid that I begin to feel guilty. The Sasuke I'm holding in my arms is the only reason I keep on living. The Sasuke that is cuddling with me is the only reason I'm continually happy. The Sasuke latched onto my neck giving me hickeys is the only reason why I'm so determined to get the real one back.

It isn't him. I come home to Sasuke wearing a skirt, I come home to Sasuke lying naked on my bed, I come home to him wearing only a collar and fucking cat ears. The real Sasuke wouldn't do that. Shit, the real Sasuke probably wouldn't let me top.

It happened on a rainy night. It was storming like you wouldn't believe. Branches were being torn off of trees and tossed into the streets. Looking back on it, I guess it was kind of a sign.

Coming home from a two week mission makes me exhausted. And horny as hell.

I guess to put things in perspective; I was like a man in the desert dying of thirst. And when you find a well filled with water, you drink till you pass out. As we were coming into Konoha, even Lee looked sexy.

The report to Tsunade took way too long, and I was itching to go home and do something about my problem. That mission was two weeks long with Sakura, and since I had to bear her moaning about Sasuke the entire time, I had gotten quite guilty about fucking him into the mattress every night.

So I decide to go with someone else. I think of the hottest guys that I know and transform my kage bunshins one by one.

Neji was looking good, I even have his hair down and I make his shirt tighter, but when I have him say my name, the word doesn't sound right coming out of his mouth.

Next up was Sai. I had done a two week mission with him after all, and the belly shirt had been taunting me for the longest time. I think he knew too, because he started winking at me after the first week. After I remove his poor excuse for a shirt, I figure he looks too much like Sasuke. Fuck it.

Gaara of the sand appears moments after I dispel the Sai bunshin. I take one look at him, and as gorgeous as he is, I'm not in the mood for serious ones.

I decide to go with Kiba. Akamaru wasn't with him, and as soon as I take away the slight doggy smell and dampen his hair, he's sexy.

It was mid-way though our romp that the doorbell rang. Kicking "Kiba" in surprise, he vanishes in a puff of smoke, leaving me panting on my bed. I growl angrily, this better be good.

I grab a thin housecoat and I walk towards the door, kicking a chair over in the process. I silently will down my massive erection that I'm sporting and open the door.

Sakura. What can I say about Sakura. I mean her name's pretty, she has nice pink hair, I like her and all, but when she's at my front door grinning happily at me as after she interrupts Kiba giving me blowjob, I tend to get pissy. Her face looks like it's about to burst. I'm almost blinded by her fucking smile.

I growl at her.

Sasuke, she says. I grunt.

Tears start leaking down her face, her cheeks look the color of boiled lobster. I can't deal with a crying girl right now. My dick is aching.

What, I ask.

My world stops as she says three words.

"Sasuke is back."

It's been three fucking weeks since he's come back, and I still haven't quite coaxed him into my bed yet. I'm still having sex with him every night though, but he doesn't know it. It's rougher than before. The sex I mean. We do it more often, and I feel guiltier every time I see him during the day.

I watch the real Sasuke train, and listen to him tell me how he defeated Orochimaru and Itachi, and how Tsunade accepted him back, but all I can think about is how he was screaming my name the night before.

Sasuke in a maid's costume, Sasuke teasing me with a feather, Sasuke squirming under me as I lick whipped cream off him, Sasuke in furry handcuffs, Sasuke giving me a striptease. That's all I can think about.

I get so turned on watching him train shirtless, that I have to make some lame excuse that Kakashi needed to see me. He lifts his eyebrow in surprise and goes back to training. Leaving me to go run home and have him bend over for me in the shower. When did life get so complicated?

I used to make bunshins of Sasuke so I could beat the crap out of him and tell him how hurt I was that he left. After I dispelled them, I would always remember what it was like to be shouted at by me, and I figured that instead of making myself feel worse, I'd make myself feel better. Thus the whole sex thing started. The first time with Sasuke was amazing. I took the day off for missions, and we spent the entire day in bed. We did every kind of sex act under the sun. Everything.

Tsunade called us in her office after he had been back for three weeks. She had a mission for us. Just the two of us. Fuck. Sasuke looked at me and gave the equivalent of a smile for him; a twitch of the lips. I was so screwed.

Sasuke was preparing the food while I grabbed the firewood. It had been a week after the start of our mission. It was a scouting one, so we were pretty much stationary in a tent in the middle of the woods for the next two weeks. I could barely sleep at night with him next to me. Hearing him snoring lightly in the middle of the night, watching his bangs blowing lightly across his face from his breath, and seeing him shifting slightly in his sleeping bag did nothing to help the fact that I could not fuck him right there and then. I woke up every morning with a hard on, and Sasuke would tease me about my constant "morning wood."

He would then blush lightly and get out of the tent to continue our mission for the new day.

I throw the firewood into the pit. Slumping down on the ground, I wait for Sasuke to come over and light it with some fancy fire jutsu of his. After he does so successfully, I point out to him that he has a slight burn on his lip.

Sasuke rolls his eyes.

Can I go get the burn salve from his bag, he asks. I get up, go over to the tent and bend down to get the zipper. It gets stuck, so I'm struggling with it for a while. After getting it unlatched from the material of the tent, I peek back over at Sasuke.

It must be a trick of the light; he's staring at my butt.

I laugh under my breath and force my way into the tiny tent, slipping slightly on my sleeping bag. After getting the salve I sit down beside him and grab his chin.

"What are you doing?" Sasuke asks, his eyes going wide.

When we were younger, it would be my job to apply the salve. Sasuke could feel it burning, but he didn't know where to put it. He wouldn't ask Sakura to do it, he knew that she would go all fangirlish on him. Kakashi would just laugh at Sasuke pouting at the fact that he needed someone else's help, and would then go back to reading his perverted book. This is was our routine when we were kids.

"What are you doing?"

Relax, I say, I'm just putting this on. I dab it gently on his lip. His lower one. The one that I've bitten into so many times. The one that would quiver slightly when we were in bed. The one that doesn't ever remember kissing me.

I sigh. I've been staring at his lip for too long. I lower my hand and screw the lid back onto the container.

Making sure the top is tightened; I stand up to put it back in my tent. A hand grabs my wrist and forces me to sit back down. I look at Sasuke.

He's blushing slightly and avoiding my gaze. His hand is still attached to my wrist. Looking up and me through thick lashes, he bites his lip and leans forward.

The salve makes it slippery. Our kiss that is. The kiss that leads us hurriedly into our tent, leaving the food sitting on the ground.

The salve is good for other things too. I had forgotten to bring some sort of lubricant, not thinking that I'd need it. The kiss itself was fireworks worthy. The sex that came after it consisted of a lot of fumbling on Sasuke's part. I knew everything about his body, what made him feel good, what didn't, where he liked to be licked or nibbled, and what positions he enjoyed.

I think it was Sasuke's first time having sex though, so he was a bit nervous. That's where the fumbling came in. I helped him along a lot, and we ended up doing it twice that night. And that wasn't including a hell of a lot of foreplay and cuddling after. Sasuke was the cuddling kind of guy; I sort of expected that from him.

I was right about another thing though; he didn't let me top.