ANSWER ME!!

Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy VII or anything related to it, that right belongs to Square Enix.

In the confused playground that was either in the Sector 5 or 6 slums of Midgar, on the planet Gaia, in a universe not quite the one in the game but not that dissimilar either, Genesis Rhapsodos was burying the mangled remains of his PHS, after beating it beyond recognition.

***

That morning…

Genesis woke later than usual, a sleepily happy grin stretched lazily across his face. He had the day off and planned to make good use of his precious free-time. He ate a leisurely breakfast in the kitchen before getting ready for the day, and grabbed LOVELESS on his way out the door.

Out on the streets of Sector 8 it was an unusually sunny day, which only served to heighten Genesis's already soaring good mood. He decided to take advantage of the sun and took a seat by the fountain to read.

***

Sometime closer to dinner than lunch, Angeal strolled up and waited for Genesis to notice him. When this failed to elicit the desired reaction, the dark haired man cleared his throat.

Genesis's head shot up, "Wha-? Oh, Angeal, what is it?"

"I need to borrow your PHS, mine isn't working."

"Why? Battery low or something?" The auburn haired man asked, raising one slender eyebrow quizzically.

"Or something," Angeal hedged.

"Uh-huh. I left mine in the apartment."

***

Back in Genesis's sunny, book-filled apartment...

Genesis picked his phone up off the desk and turned to face Angeal, who had a slightly sheepish expression on his face.

Genesis's eyebrow threatened to jump into his hairline and stay there. "What now?"

"You wouldn't happen to have Zack's number, would you?"

"…" Genesis leveled Angeal with a look that clearly said 'Surely you jest.'

"Right." Angeal sighed, "I have it written down somewhere at my place."

Genesis's frayed patience took a flying leap out the nearest window.

***

Angeal did in fact have Zack's PHS number handily posted on the fridge like a good mommy….er, mentor…and read it out so Genesis could dial. Shortly thereafter they heard a jaunty tune coming from the general direction of the living room. Said room being the only one in that particular direction, the two SOLDIERs soon found the source of the noise.

Genesis gave the vibrating PHS on the coffee table a deadpan look. "Now what?"

"Zack's out with that trooper friend of his, Cloud. We could try calling him."

"Oh, I see," Genesis said knowingly. "You're checking up on the puppy. Making sure he doesn't cause too much destruction?"

"Something like that," Angeal replied, raising his own eyebrow in something like exasperated trepidation.

"So, what's Blondie's number?" Genesis sighed. Angeal obligingly read it off. Genesis dialed, held the PHS to his ear, waited, and fairly shrieked "Voicemail?!" when the blonde didn't answer.

After repeatedly calling and leaving increasingly threatening voicemails, Angeal decided Genesis needed a change of scene and so he pushed the fuming red-head into the elevator, and out into the streets of Sector 8. Again.

Once Genesis had wrested his arms from his friend's grip, he tried calling the little blonde trooper again. And failed. Again. And left an even more violent voicemail than the ones preceding it. And immediately hung up and dialed. Again.

***

Meanwhile in the pretty little rundown church in the Sector 5 slums where Aerith the Flower Girl tended to her miraculous flowers, Zack and Cloud were hanging out, talking about…stuff, or rather Zack was talking and Cloud nodded his head occasionally as if he could actually keep up with Zack's rapid-fire comments, when Cloud's PHS rang. Again. And Cloud didn't answer. Again.

So Zack, being the helpful friend he is, snagged the blonde's PHS and answered before it could go to voicemail. Again.

"…IF YOU DON'T ANSWER…"

"Uh, Genesis, that you?" Zack queried timidly, daring to hold the PHS close enough to speak.

"FURTHERMORE…Zack? Why do you have Cloud's PHS?"

"Because Cloudy wouldn't answer," Zack replied brightly, grin back in place full force.

***

Back in Sector 8 with the two Firsts, Genesis was rubbing the bridge of his nose as if hoping to ward off the migraine he felt coming on. "Of course. I should have known. Angeal needed to speak with you," Genesis wearily handed the PHS over to Angeal.

"Zack."

"Hi, Angeal! What'd ya need?"

"Don't forget to pick up that potting soil on your way back." With that Angeal flipped the PHS closed and handed it back to a floored Genesis.

"That's…it?" Genesis's left eye was beginning to twitch spasmodically.

'That can't be good,' thought the dark haired man, and began to take appropriate action. "Thanks for all the help, Gen. I…have to be going now." Angeal continued to back slowly away from Genesis and towards the ShinRa building, holding his hands up placatingly. He could practically feel the searing anger emanating from his childhood friend's rigid form. "Uh…Gen… are you…all right?"

The rumbling growl issuing from Genesis's throat should have been a warning to cut and run, but Angeal was nothing if not persistent. "Genesis…" Whatever Angeal might have said was lost in the abrupt and overwhelming need to duck and dodge the barrage of Firagas and Tri-Fires that suddenly filled the Fountain Plaza.

When Angeal finally looked up through the smoking ruins of what once was a fountain, he saw Genesis's red coat disappearing up the stairs to the train station. Figuring the red-head was going to either maim or massacre his pet pupil and his reticent friend, Angeal decided it was better for all involved if he followed.

***

After disembarking at the Sector 5 Station, Genesis stormed through the market, and turned right figuring that rambunctious puppies hung out at playgrounds. After discovering that he was wrong, Genesis proceeded to vent some of his frustration by smashing his PHS against the nearest solid object.

When Angeal made it to the playground (after first stopping in at the church to warn Zack and Cloud to lay low for the next year or so) Genesis was burying the mangled remains of his PHS in the far corner behind the swings. "What happened to your PHS?"

"Stress relief."

"And you're burying it…why?"

"To hide the evidence."

Angeal dropped his face into his hand.

…Well…It had been a long day.

Fin

End Notes:

And that's why Genesis's temper is so short.

First Genesis-centric fic, and hopefully more will come soon...ish.

If anyone is wondering what happened to Angeal's PHS, he dropped it down the commode while cleaning.

Sephiroth isn't present because he had to do SOLDIER-y stuff that no one else could be bothered to do. *shifty-eyes* That's my story and I'm stickin' with it.

Also, any gags are just that…gags, jokes, not to be taken seriously (after all this is Comedy). The only reason I'm being so mean to these guys is 'cause I love 'em. ^___^