…..I told you…I warned you that I update only once about a million years. Thank you to the people that have remained all this time!...*crickets chirp*…..right….

Can you spot the running joke?

Disclaimer: Read my lips…oh wait, you can't actually see me talking….so, uh, read this sentence: I do not own this series.

Australia, Part 3- Beware the Bunyip!

With their tents set up, the nations huddled around the fire for dinner and roasting marshmallows.

"Please don't sing that song again Artie…please…." Alfred said as he shivered a bit.

Arthur smirked. "What? You mean this song: The fire flares up, and burns it to a crisp…"

"YOU'RE GONNA SUMMON THE DEVIL!" Alfred put his hands over his ears.

"It's not the devil you should be scared of, but the Bunyip." Australia said.

"You mentioned that before. What is it?" Vietnam asked.

He smiled devilishly. "The Bunyip is a horrifying monster that likes to eat people, especially cute little Sheilas!"

"Well it's a good thing there's no one here named Sheila!" Belgium said.

"Sheila's slang for girls."

"….oh…."

Gilbert smirked. "Ha ha! You girls are screwed!"

"It's been known to eat men too."

"…."

Australia leaned over the fire, casting an eerie orange glow over his face. "The Bunyip's call sounds like laughter. Its how he gets ya. You think its safe; its just innocent, happy laughter, but then….it pounces!" The fire crackled when he said that. "Once you hear his call, there's no escape. It's the very last sound you'll ever hear…"

Liechtenstein clutched her older brother and shivered.

Vash frowned. "Stop scaring her or the last thing YOU'LL ever hear is gunshots."

"Ok no more Bunyip stories!" Alfred, who was hiding behind Yao, said. "The…children are getting scared."

"No were not." Said Wy.

"Yeah, we're fine desu yo." Sealand said.

"They …. they don't want to admit how terrified they are!"

"I think it's time for the all children to go to bed aru." Yao said, motioning to Alfred with his head.

"Perhaps we all should; it's getting late." Kiku said.

"G'night all. And be careful not to catch the Bunyip's eye girlies." The nation/continent said in a creepy voice.

"It's just a story." Vash reassured his little sister. "Nothing to worry about. But just in case I'm sleeping with my shotgun locked and loaded..."

"Seriously, how did you get that past security?" Francis asked.

"I have my ways."

XxxxxxxXxxxxxxX

The nations somehow managed to fall asleep despite Australia's tale of the Bunyip. But, at the stroke of midnight, the nations were woken up by a strange sound.

Panic broke out in the girl's tent.

"What was that?"

"It sounded like laughter!"

"It's the Bunyip!"

"Eeekk! We're all gonna die!"

"Ok, everybody calm down." Elizaveta said, standing tall and taking charge of the situation. "There is no such thing as a Bunyip. It's just a myth."

"Th….than how do you explain the l...l...laughter?" Taiwan stammered.

"I bet it's just one of the boy nations trying to scare us, probably Gilbert….ooh if I had my frying pan…!"

"But that doesn't sound anything like him…." Liechtenstein said.

"Well than, if that thing really exists, I'm not waiting around to be eaten. I'm going to find it and kill it!" Natalia pulled a sharp knife out of her bag.

"…How'd you get that past airport security?"

"In rest of world, security checks you. In Belarus, you check security."

"Somehow that seems wrong…"

"Are you seriously going to go out there?" Seychelles asked, shocked.

"Of course! I'm scarier than any Bunyip!" she said as she stepped out of the tent.

"That's true..." Wy said, following her.

Ukraine stood up, a bit shakily. "I should be there for my little sister." She also followed after the knife-wielding nation.

"Frying pan or no frying pan, I'm going to take down this monster!" Elizaveta was next to leave the tent.

"Brother's always protecting me; now it's my turn." Liechtenstein went after them.

The other girls followed after them, not wanting to be left alone and unarmed.

XxxxxxxXxxxxxxX

Meanwhile, some of the male nations were awakened by the sound as well.

"Ludwig! Ludwig! Did you hear that?" Feliciano shook him awake.

"Erg…" Ludwig groaned and sat up. "Yes I heard it, it woke me up too."

"It's the Bunyip Australia was talking about!" The brown-haired Italian clung to him tightly.

"The Bunyip is just a story; it isn't real." As he said it, another burst of maniacal laughter was heard.

"That sounded real to me!"

The blonde haired nation sighed. "I'm sure it's just East trying to scare us."

"But how can he be trying to scare us if he's right there?" Feliciano pointed to Gilbert who was fast asleep.

"Zzzz…Pretty bird….so fluffy…" He mumbled in his sleep as he patted the top of his head.

"….um…..well then it's probably…" Ludwig couldn't think of what else the laughing sound could be.

Feliciano shook with fright. "Wha…what do we do?"

The laughter became even louder, waking up a few more nations.

"Erg, what's with all the racket?" Gilbert rubbed his eyes as he sat up.

"It's the Bunyip!" Feliciano squealed.

Gilbert frowned in a determined way. "I won't let it get me! I'm too awesome to be eaten! I'm gonna beat that thing to a pulp!" He ran out of the tent.

"East! Argh, rushing into things again," Ludwig also ran out.

"Don't leave me here! Waiiiit!" Feliciano followed after him.

On their way out, they bumped into a few other nations.

"So, you heard it too I take it?" Ludwig asked them.

"Yup, and we're not waiting around for it to get us." Alfred said. "I have to be the hero and save everyone! These guys are my backup!" He motioned to the other nations behind him.

"Where's that dragon when we need him?' Arthur looked around. "I'm sure he could be good protection."

Francis looked around nervously, twirling the ends of his hair. "I hope this Bunyip will leave the 'beautiful people' unharmed."

"I don't think it has any reservations for anyone aru." Yao said.

"And I bet 'the beautiful people' taste better." Arthur smirked.

"Don't even joke about that!" The Frenchman panicked.

Vash walked toward the group with a shotgun. "Are we going after this monster or not? I have a little sister to protect and no Bunyip is going to stop me." He walked toward the sound of the laughter.

"I have two sisters; I need to protect them both." Ivan was holding a lead pipe.

"…How did you sneak that past airport security?" Alfred asked.

"In rest of world, security checks you. In Russia…"

Kiku put his hand up. "I think I see where this is leading..."

"All right, I'll join you." Ludwig said. "I'm going to find out what that thing is, and, if it is the Bunyip, get rid of it so we can all go back to sleep."

Feliciano joined by default, as he wouldn't let go of Ludwig's arm.

-And now, a classic, slapstick-like chase scene-

Elizaveta held a flashlight as she and Natalia lead the way through the forest, in search of the source of the laughter.

"It's getting louder, which means we're getting closer." Monaco said.

"Yet I don't see anything." Elizaveta shone the flashlight into the woods. "No rustling, no shadows, nothing."

XxxxxxxXxxxxxxX

Feliciano jumped the laughter was heard again.

"Dammit, where is this thing?" Vash looked around.

"The trees probably keep it hidden well." Kiku pointed out.

"But we should still be able to see something. Here, this way. Sounds like it's coming from this direction." Vash lead the way through a few bushes.

XxxxxxxXxxxxxxX

"Wait, I think I hear something." Seychelles said.

Everyone was quiet. Suddenly, they heard a rustling of bushes.

Elizaveta turned in the direction of the sound. "There! That way!"

The group moved in the direction of the sound.

XxxxxxxXxxxxxxX

"Do you hear that?" Gilbert turned his head. "Sounds like something's walking toward us. Something big."

Vash rushed toward the sound. "This is the one time I will NOT be neutral! I'm taking this thing down!"

The others followed.

XxxxxxxXxxxxxxX

"It's going that way now!" Vietnam pointed in the direction of the rustling bushes.

Natalia cut through some low hanging branches. "Don't let it get away!"

The girls ran in the direction of the sound.

XxxxxxxXxxxxxxX

"This is too scary! I'm out of here!" Feliciano started running away.

"I'm with you!" Francis followed.

Ludwig sighed. "Always retreating….wait a minute…" He called after them "You don't have a flashlight! Do you even know which way you're going?"

After a moment of silence, the two voices responded together: "No!"

He sighed once again as he ran towards the sound of their voices.

XxxxxxxXxxxxxxX

"It changed direction!" Wy said, running after the sound of rustling branches and footsteps.

Elizaveta picked up a pointed stick from the ground. "Let's go!"

XxxxxxxXxxxxxxX

Ludwig searched around the dark woods. "Where are you two?"

"We don't know!" Feliciano sounded panicky. "We're trying to find out way back but we can't see anything! I think we're just walking in circles!"

"So stay in one place so I can find you! Don't be scared, I'll find you."

"Oh I'm not too afraid. I'm happy big brother France is here! He's holding me really really REALLY close to protect me!"

"No rush, really." Francis said in his suave voice. "We're doing just fine, just the two of us…alone…under this très romantique moon~."

Ludwig ran even faster. "There's something more dangerous than the Bunyip out here…"

XxxxxxxXxxxxxxX

Seychelles looked around. "Where did it go? I can't even hear its call anymore."

All of a sudden they heard fast running footsteps.

"It's running faster now!" Ukraine said.

Natalia scowled. "I feel like we're on a wild goose chase!"

XxxxxxxXxxxxxxX

"This thing's just playing with us!" Vash frowned. "We keeping running but we're never getting closer."

"And we haven't heard the laughter in a while." Arthur pointed out.

Ludwig returned with Feliciano and Francis, the former clinging to him and the latter rubbing his head.

"It's a good thing you came when you did Ludwig; I think I heard footsteps that weren't yours." Feliciano said, hugging his arm tighter.

"Yes, I got there just in time." Ludwig glared at Francis.

The Frenchman frowned. "Hmpf. As if that will scare me."

The laughter was heard once again.

"Eep!" Now both Feliciano and Francis clung to Ludwig.

"Where's it coming from aru?" Yao searched around.

"That way!" Ivan ran in the direction of the sound with the rest of the team following.

XxxxxxxXxxxxxxX

Taiwan turned her head sharply. "It's getting closer!"

"Then be prepared to fight." Elizaveta held her stick tightly.

XxxxxxxXxxxxxxX

"It sounds so close now." Arthur said as he picked up a large rock for defense. "I think we finally found it!"

"This is it!" Alfred got in a fighting position "Everyone, get ready!"

XxxxxxxXxxxxxxX

"Is everyone ready?" Natalia asked.

The girls all nodded. They had all picked up rocks and sticks to defend themselves.

"Okay then…"

XxxxxxxXxxxxxxX

"CHARGE!" The boys rushed forward with a battle cry.

At the same time, the girls rushed toward them with their own battle cry.

"YAAAH!"

If they had kept going for another half a second, someone would have been hurt. But luckily, they all noticed each other just in the nick of time.

"Brother!" Liechtenstein rushed toward her brother. "You're ok!"

"Thank goodness you're all right!" Vash hugged her tightly.

"My dear Ivan!" Ukraine hugged her younger brother.

"Big sis!" He hugged her back.

"Older brother…" Natalia clung to him.

"Little sister!"

"…and future husband."

"…G…good to know you're safe." He smiled nervously.

"What are you doing here?" Ludwig asked the girls.

"Looking for the Bunyip." Elizaveta replied.

"So are we." Said Alfred.

"I think we've just been chasing each other the whole time." Kiku said.

"That was you running through the bushes, wasn't it?" Elizaveta asked.

Vash nodded. "It was. And those were your footsteps we heard, right?"

"Yes." She sighed. "Well, it's good to know there was nothing stalking us after all."

"But then…where was the laughter coming from?" Wy asked.

Everyone was quiet. At that moment, laughter was heard once again, but this time, it sounded as though whatever was making the laughter was right above them.

"IT'S HERE!"

"There you blokes are! What are you all doing?" The crazy ruckus had woken up the host nation.

"The Bunyip! It's here and it's going to eat us up!" Feliciano shook with fright.

"Whoa whoa, easy on there!" Australia laughed. "That's not the Bunyip. It lives in the swamps, not the forest. Besides, it's just a scary story. What you're hearing is a Kookaburra."

"A Kook-a-what?"

He pointed up to a tree where a large bird was sitting. "That's a kookaburra."

They all looked up. A brown and white bird was perched in a tree. It flew down and landed on Australia's shoulder. He reached over and petted the Kookaburra. It opened its beak and made the laughing sound everyone heard.

"The kookaburra, or laughing jackass, (Dacelo gigas) is a large and noisy bird of the Australian bush. Although a member of the kingfisher family, the kookaburra does not eat fish but feeds mainly on large insects and small reptiles and amphibians. At a maximum of 47 cm (18.5 in) in length, and with a 10-cm (4-in) bill, the kookaburra is larger than most kingfishers, but its brown and tan plumage is drab by the standards of the family. Kookaburras nest during the spring and lay 2 to 4 white eggs in tree holes or termite nests. Their loud cries, which resemble human laughter and are typically chorused at dawn and dusk, are one of the characteristic sounds of the Australian bush. In other words they eat snakes."

Everyone was quiet for a moment. Monaco broke the silence by saying "I just learned something today."

Taiwan breathed a sigh of relief. "We were worried for nothing!"

"Good, now can we all please go back to sleep now?" Francis said.

"Kookaburra…that sounds familiar." Alfred said. "I think I know a song about this bird! A purple dinosaur on TV taught it to me. (1)"

"Yes, there is a Kookaburra song." Australia smiled. "It's nursery rhyme from my country. I'll teach it to you…"

It wasn't long before the countries were singing:

"Kookaburra sits in the old gum tree,

Merry, merry king of the bush is he.

Laugh, Kookaburra laugh! Kookaburra,

Gay your life must be!"

Relieved of their fears, the nations walked back to their tents singing their hearts out. They were so busy singing that they didn't notice Ivan waving to a strange-looking creature descending into the dark woods back to the wetlands…

XxxxxxxXxxxxxxX

(1) This really is how I learned about the song as a child.