Love and Potion Blunders

Rating: MA.

Pairing: HP/SB

Warnings: This is Slash, people.

Author's Notes: Huge thanks to BB and Tiffy for all your love and support. I couldn't have done any of this without you reading parings that you have absolutely no interest in. LOVE YOU!! Just by the by, if you want to help contribute to this story, please take the time to vote on the poll featured on my profile page regarding Harry's Animagus form. Thanks!

Disclaimer: I do not own anything Harry Potter related and I am certainly not making any money off of this.

Love and Potion Blunders

Chapter Fifteen

By: Kitty

Grimmauld Place has never seemed more beautiful to me then it does now. Sitting on moth-eaten carpet, curled in the lap of one notorious serial killer and breathing in the stagnant air I finally feel the oxygen entering my lungs properly. My heart is at last circulating blood in the correct manner without the crushing weight of misery constricting my chest. This place is truly majestic right now.

Sirius' fingers stroke my hair, his lips pressing kisses to my face and his nose rustling the stuborn strands with deep breaths. Sirius' robes are clutched in my fists and my face is buried in the curve of his neck. With the scratch of his facial hair on my cheek, the wild scent of him filling my nose, the solid feel of his body cradled on each side of my legs, and the rather strong reaction to our code phrase has finally convinced me that this is really my Godfather. This isn't Fred or George playing some nasty prank, not some Death Eater that managed to gain access to the warded house, not a random Order member playing with Polyjuice as a battle strategy. This is Sirius Black, My Sirius. The same Sirius who I have loved in some form or another since I met him in the Shrieking Shack.

"I love you" I whisper, trying to reassure him with every action I make. Trying with everything inside me to drive home that I am, in fact, His Harry.

"I love you, too" he speaks into my hair, breathing deep again.

"Aren't you supposed to be in school about now?" he asks, not making any moves to release me.

"Yeah" I reply in the same non-active way.

"How did you get here, exactly?" he asks, tightening his hands in my hair as though to say I am not allowed to even think about getting up.

"I apparated" I say simply.

"You apparated?" he repeats, a proud note entering his voice.

"I had to get here somehow. What, did you expect me to fly?" I reply, teasing only slightly. He chuckles in response. A deep, lazy sound bouncing from his chest to my own.

"I take it you just got back, then?" he asks, a forced casual tone permeating his voice.

"I had to come the second I woke up" I answer, biting my lip to keep myself in check.

"Why were you waking up at all?" he says with a hint of worry.

"The whole time traveling thing seems to knock one out" I intone, slightly bitter. His breath seizes in his chest for a moment and I can't quite figure out why.

"Right, well yes. I suppose it can't be easy to jump that far" he replies stiffly after a moment of silence. What's the matter with him?

"Sirius…" I trail off, suddenly very afraid that maybe he was wrong. What if he doesn't want me anymore? What if he really doesn't remember? Don't panic, just breathe.

"Harry, I…" he starts, his hands finally stopping their stroking in my hair. Oh, god. He is going to tell me to bugger off. I raise my head from his neck and catch our eyes together, his swirling blue-grey is stormy with emotion and I have a good idea that mine are probably rather desperate. If he is going to tell me to leave him alone, then he is going to look me in the eye while he does it.

"Just say it, Siri" I say a bit coolly. Don't cry again. Must not cry again. Confusion fogs into his eyes and he resumes his stroking in what I assume he means to be a soothing way.

"Harry, it has been twenty years for me. I know that the years haven't been entirely too kind to me…with Azkaban and caves and this wretched house taking its toll. I'm not the same person who you were in love with. You are young and beautiful and I'm…" he rambles at me. What I cant figure out is why on earth he is saying this now. Is this some strategic maneuver designed to give me an out? This is all terribly confusing.

"You're what? Whatever it is that you are working up to, you need to just say it because you are making me really nervous and rather confused" I cut over him. I start to inch off his lap, but he holds me fast by my hair.

"I'm saying that you don't owe me anything. You loved me when I was seventeen and now there is…I'm not entirely well…and I don't think that I would be good for anyone let alone you and I can't just let you throw away…" he stumbles.

"Stop. Now you are the one who is confused" I interrupt, grabbing onto his shoulders fiercely. He turns his head to the side in question and it's so cute that I can't stop myself from planting a chaste kiss to his forehead.

"I loved you then because it was you. I didn't love you because of how handsome you were or how mentally sound you used to be. I knew I couldn't have you here so I took what I could get. I fell in love with you then because I already loved you now. Did that make sense?" I blurb. His eyebrows furrow adorably and he blinks at me a few times. A smile breaks out on his face and he nods.

"Your telling me you loved your ex-convict, house bound Godfather before you went back in time twenty years?" he inquires, humor evident in his swirling eyes.

"Yes, that covers most of it" I answer with a grin of my own.

"Why is it that you couldn't have me? Besides the obvious reasons, of course" he says, smirking now that his self confidence has returned a bit.

"You were dead" I say like it was the most natural thing in the world. Realizing what I said, I clamp my hands over my mouth with a look of absolute horror painted on my face. Fuck! I have the biggest mouth on the planet.

"I was what? Harry, I have been a lot of things over the years but I can assure you I was never dead. Is that why you were in hysterics earlier? Love, I'm not dead…as you can plainly see" he says in a very smooth, reassuring tone. Well, in for a Knut…

"Sirius, before I had my little…accident, you were dead. You died in the Department of Mysteries…you fell behind a Veil in the death room. Thank Merlin you listened to me and didn't go…" I explain, nuzzling his neck as I finish. I love how he smells. I could stay like this forever and never once complain.

"I fell behind a veil…" he repeats slowly.

"Yes, you fell but its alright now. You're ok. I prayed so hard that you would be ok. That's why I came the minute I woke up" I say, not leaving my spot at his neck.

"Well…that's disturbing. That's why you would stare at me when you thought I wasn't looking? Not that I minded" he quips, winking down at me at the end. I feel my face heat and I nod once. Damn, I thought I was being discrete. For Merlin's sake, stop blushing. You aren't a virginal girl. Man up.

"I think that I should tell you something but I'm not sure how" he says after a few moments.

"Just tell me" I say simply, smiling up at him.

"Well, the thing is… I didn't listen to you. I went to the Ministry after you. I know you told me not to go and now I know why you wanted me to stay but I couldn't not go, Harry. I have loved you for twenty years and I knew one day you would come back and maybe we would be together again and I couldn't possibly just let you die before that happened. Do you understand?" he rants, grasping me firmly by the arms. I blink at him stupidly for a full minute.

"You went? How is that possible? How are you alive? You fell, I saw you. You left me this ruddy house and I can promise you that you weren't in it. I don't…" I rant, unable to filter anything that is spewing from my mouth.

"Harry, you need to calm down. Listen to me. I had to go. It wasn't just anybody out there, it was you. I went because I loved you so bloody much and I needed to keep you alive until you came back to me. Not that I don't need to continue to keep you alive now… but I have to protect you, always. I will always go after you" he says intensely, staring into my eyes with a firmness that is so common whenever one talks to Sirius. He is so passionate. I think I have an outlet or two available for him to use…

"I don't understand how you're alive. What happened?" I ask, still very confused. It's impossible that Sirius has been alive all this time. Dumbledore wouldn't just let me believe he was dead for this long…would he?

"Well…you and I were fighting Malfoy and some other bloke. You disarmed Malfoy, I jumped in front of a hex sent at you by that other guy and threw up a shield. Bella broke free of Tonks and shot off a couple of stunners at me. You were dealing with the guy whose name I can't remember and I sort of kept myself on your left but in front of you so that Bella didn't get you instead of me. I wasn't about to let my touched cousin hurt you! I laughed at her a bit, we bickered for a spot. She finally hit me, the bitch, and I sort of toppled back on you. You managed to get a good shield up around us while I recovered…and then as soon as I was able to get back at it, you ran after Bella into the atrium and Voldemort popped up and…"

"Yes yes, I know all the rest. You say you toppled into me? No one fell into that blasted veil?" I cut over him, stopping him from finishing the story. I know what happened next. This is just too weird. I am so deliriously happy that I can barely think straight. I don't think I have ever felt such happiness and love collecting inside me at one time. I think I might burst.

"Yes I toppled back onto you and you fell to the side. And no, no one fell into the veil. There were no deaths on any side. Couple Death Eaters like Malfoy and McNair went to Azkaban though. Bloody good that will do in the long run. They both have so much ruddy money they'll just buy their way out eventually. Don't know why I never thought of doing that…" he rambles. I sit there in a stupor, totally unwilling to move. Afraid that if I moved, this illusion would shatter and I would be sitting alone in Sirius' old bedroom and hallucinating. After a minute of silence, Sirius tilts his head to side again and strokes his hand against the back of my neck.

"Harry? Are you alright, love?" he asks, looking a bit concerned at my lack of movement. I let the smile break across my face and bury my nose back in his neck.

"Fantastic, actually" I answer, smile never leaving my face.

"Good" he sighs.

"Can I ask you a weird question?" I begin, still one issue burning within my mind.

"Of course you can, Kitten" he responds, nuzzling his nose into my hair with a soft sigh.

"Didn't it bother you that I was James' son? I mean you did know that, right?" I ask, keeping my gaze firmly on the curve of his neck where my head rested.

"Yes I did know. Moony told me everything when we thought you were leaving that very day you first went to Dumbledore's office. Did it bother me? In a way, I suppose. But the ways in which it bothered me, didn't dissuade me. I loved you, still love you, and no matter how hard you might try, you can't help who you love" he replies softly, kissing my head sweetly after he was done.

"Does it bother you now?" I ask, voice small. Don't say yes. Please, don't say yes.

"No" he answers immediately.

"But..." I start. Merlin, I am really stupid. Why am I arguing?

"You aren't James and technically we've already gotten past the awkward first shag bit so there is no reason why it would bother me enough to not be with you now" he says firmly, then furrows his eyebrows and bites his lip. I look at him in question and he drops his eyes.

"…that is if you still want to be with me" he finishes. He wants to know if I want to be with him. I would have laughed if this wasn't so heartbreaking.

"I do" I say with finality. A smile graces his face, sweet and loving, and he rubs our noses together.

"That's settled then" he breathes against my face causing my heart to sputter for a beat and then kick back into hyper drive. This isn't 17 year old Sirius, but My Sirius and the separation has never been more evident than right now when he is about to kiss me. I bravely keep our eyes locked and I am sure he sees my anxiety whirling around.

He rubs our noses together again and the familiarity of it almost calms me. This is what I have wanted for longer than I can remember. I have lain in my bed at night and seen this moment a million different ways, letting myself live and thrive within this fantasy. I imagined that I saved him, that Lupin didn't hold me back and I grabbed him out just in time. That he smiled at me and told me how much he loves me. That he kissed me slowly. That he loved me the way that I loved him.

His is the one death that I could never move on from. How many others have died? Through them all, I could push them safely into the back of my mind and do what has to be done. But Sirius…loving, brave, wonderfully damaged Sirius. I just stayed frozen, preserved forever in the moment that Sirius fell and now after all the longing and desperate yearning, I have him in my arms. Real. Solid. I have never been so nervous in my life.

He watches avidly as the emotions play across my face, waiting patiently for the storm to calm. I take a deep breath of him, letting the overwhelming love I feel for this man fill the aching hole inside me. I know the second he sees it because he makes a choking sound in his throat and closes the remaining distance between us.

Our lips touch, open and panting gently against each other. Yes. Oh, god. I can feel his beard score against my face, the softness of his hair sweeping against my cheeks, the bite of his fingers digging into my skin. Each sensation separate but melded together. I press into the kiss, trying to steady the slight trembling of his lips. He makes the same choking noise again and weaves his arms around my waist, pulling me to him. I am aware of the fluttering of my eyelids, my own hands twining within his hair but I don't remember giving them the command to do so. He sweeps his tongue along the line of my bottom lip and I part eagerly for him, wanting to taste him so much that I feel the keen building in my chest. He coaxes my tongue into a dance with his, tasting at me tenderly. The pressure in my chest has reached unbearable levels and I allow the sharp whine to erupt from me and I involuntarily tighten my grip in his hair.

Kissing My Sirius is different than kissing 17 year old Sirius. It's not as simple as the age difference, or the facial hair. It's the staggering reality that this man who I have pined hopelessly for currently has his tongue in my mouth and hands up the back of my shirt. The noises he makes are intoxicating. Deep growls and sweet moans drip from him like he has wanted me all his life. There is suddenly too much between us. The need to be closer, more intimate with him, wells up until its almost painful. All the sensations are sudden, crashing over me as though someone flipped a switch.

LEMON AHEAD

All at once I notice that I am grinding down into his lap, cock painfully hard and straining against the zip of my trousers, his hands are gripping my arse, fingers splayed possessively into the crease and dragging the seam against my entrance. Electricity surges through my blood, spiking across my skin and although completely clothed I have never been so turned on.

He breaks the kiss and drags his lips down to my neck. Stopping at the mark that is plainly visible against the pallor of my throat, he pulls back and brings a finger to stroke across the bruised skin.

"Now everyone will know you belong to me" he whispers hoarsely, still stroking the mark softly.

"Yes" I confirm, carding my fingers through his silky curls.

"Gods…"he breathes. He suddenly throws his weight forward, up onto his knees with my legs wrapped tightly around his hips. I squeak in surprise and cling to his neck, letting my head fall backwards as he attacks my neck and shoulders with rough kisses. He springs upright, gripping my arse again and stalks to the bed without any pause in his attentions.

Flinging us both onto the bed, he growls deeply and kisses me harshly. Lips, tongues, and teeth snap together furiously, his hips grind into mine and I can't think anymore. His desperate movements spur my own actions into over drive and I thrust back against him with abandon. He pulls back, grabbing my shirt and ripping it down the middle in his haste and I can't contain the whimper that breaks out. Merlin, I have never seen him like this. He was always so controlled, so bloody slow and this new, more aggressive Sirius has me completely undone.

"Sirius" I hiss, barely getting enough air to manage that much but he seems to understand his name as a way of asking for more because the next second he is working on my pants.

He tears the pants from my legs and runs his tongue up my inner thigh causing me to arch and whimper pathetically. He pulls up, kisses me firmly and stands up. Grabbing his wand from his pocket, he points it at himself and mutters Divestio. Naked in five seconds flat, he slinks up the bed to me in a rather cat-like manner and slips between my parted thighs.

Slipping his tongue back between my lips, he takes measured moments to lap at the roof of my mouth, teeth and my own tongue. He kisses me slowly, lovingly, caressing my mouth with his for an indefinable amount of time. Its absolute bliss…

Reaching his threshold, he grapples in the night stand for a few seconds and pulls out a small tube and without taking his lips away, he slicks two fingers and circles my opening with both slippery digits.

"Harry, I need you" he whispers directly in my ear. I arch again, moaning rather frequently.

"Sirius, please" I beg, and I don't care. I cant breathe, think, just overwhelming need crashing over me.

He slips both fingers inside at once causing me to squeak and whine, desperate for more. He crooks his fingers, searching for and finding my prostate with precision before pulling the fingers away.

"Harry, Its not a lot, but I cant…" he barks, slicking his raging erection (Did it get bigger?) with the cool gel.

"Siri, please. Inside now" I croon, wrapping my arms around his neck. He smiles softly and lines up with my entrance.

"I love you" he whispers, sliding to the hilt in one, smooth thrust. I cry out, my legs coming up on their own accord and I pant huffs of air on his neck as he rests against me for endless eons.

"Harry...oh Gods, Harry" he groans, bringing his lips back to mine for a tender kiss.

He finally moves, rocking against me, sliding in and out of my body leisurely. I kiss and nibble at his lips, whining and moaning his name almost constantly. My Sirius is inside me and it's the best thing I have ever felt. He thrusts hard and slow and I start to shake beneath him, the power of my emotions wracking my body and I feel answering shudders from him. The swirling tension in my stomach reaches its pinnacle, and I stay on the edge unable to plummet for ages.

"I missed you so much" I whisper and Sirius groans, snapping his hips harder against me. I fall at last, screaming his name and flooding my stomach with my release. Through the white haze of orgasm, I hear Sirius' roar of completion and feel the welcomed heat flood my body. He collapses on me, trembling harshly and I wrap him more firmly in my arms. Kissing me sweetly, he pulls out with a hiss and rolls us so we are facing each other. I grab at the rumpled blankets at the foot of the bed and wrap us in them before curling around Sirius and kissing him again.

END LEMON

He sighs deeply and tightens his arms around me before nuzzling my hair again.

"I love you more than you could ever know" he whispers, stroking his fingers through my hair again.

"I love you, too" I reply.

"Sleep here?" he asks, unnaturally casual.

"Hmm, as long as you explain to Dumbledore" I say with a yawn, snuggling deeper into Sirius' arms.

"Deal" he responds with a chuckle before settling in to sleep.

This is where I want to be for the rest of my life, I will tell him so but for now I don't think a nap could hurt.

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A/N: Here we are! Sorry I'm a bit late, but I was a bit stuck so if it sucks, Sorry. :-D

I love you all desperately and I hope you REVIEW to tell me what you think!! So, REVIEW and I will give you all a special treat.

Oceans of Love,

~Kitty