The Bad Fic
***
Bumblebee stood out side the base. And in his hand, he held the Plot Hole Device.
The Plot Hole Device decided to start glowing.
And suddenly,
Bumblebee was pregnant.
"Prime!!!!!" Bumblebee ran inside crying.
"Who did this?" Asked Ratchet, popping in from nowhere or maybe off screen or perhaps Scotty beamed him there, take your pick.
"Uh. Hold on, let me consult the plot hole device."
He picked it up. It was shaped like a digital alarm clock. Y'know, the one with the glowy numbers and stuff?
In big bold glowy numbers, the name Lazerbeak was written. Well, actually 80085 was written there first, but after that it wrote Lazerbeak.
"Nooo!!!" Screamed Bumblebee. "I don't want it to be him!"
"Here." Wheeljack appeared from the same nothingness Ratchet came from and quickly wrote an eight on top of the Plot Hole Device. "Try shaking it."
Shaking it like he was told, aka 'whipped puppy', the numbers tumbled around like a magic eight ball. But a square one.
The new name was…
Star-trona-prime-jack-astro-trap-dino-streak, the new OC pink-gold-black-light pastel blue-more pink seeker who could end the very universe with it's pinky. It's pink pinky.
"No!!!!" Bumble cried.
"Quick!" Yelled Kup, who didn't realize he was in the wrong season. "Give it another shake!"
Shakey, shakey, shakey.
It wrote…
Optimus Prime.
"No!!!" Bumblebee cried again. "How could you father!"
"Bumblebee… I am not your father."
"Gasp."
"I… Am your mother."
"B-b-b-b-b-b-b-but why??? I'm running away to be a Decepticon now!"
He ran away.
And returned two minutes later to retrieve the Plot Hole Device.
"No one loves me! I'm gonna go marry Starscream!"
"No! Son!"
The entire Autobot base was standing in front of the Ark for some reason, watching Bumblebee run off into the sunset.
SCENE TRANSITION TO THE DECEPTICON HEADQUARTERS. DID YOU KNOW IT WAS A SCENE TRANSITION? HERE IT IS. THE SCENE TRANSITION. WERE AT THE DECEPTICON BASE NOW. IT'S CALLED THE NEMISIS. IT'S UNDERWATER. IT'S ALL COOL AND STUFF, AND THEY'S GOT FISH. AND SQUID. SOME SWIMMY MAMMLES TOO. IT'S A SCENE TRANSITION.
"Are you my papa?" Bumblebee asked Megatron.
"How did you get past my security?"
"You are my papa!" Bumblebee's watery eyes widened to the size of dinner plates, well, really, really big dinner plates.
"Oh, my beautiful wife!" Now Starscream was there. "Bear all my children!"
Plot Device now shall skip several months. Cause it wants too.
Hook delivered him/her/it. It's gender really doesn't apply to this fic.
They named it Star-trona-prime-jack-astro-trap-dino-streak. Because they wanted him/her/it to grow up to be as strong as the horrid Mary-Sue who could end the war with a sneeze.
"Mama. Mama. Mama." He/She/it chanted. Repeatedly. For three hours.
"I'm going to throw you off a brige!" Shouted a Generic cannon fodder Decepticon. "I mean, Bridge! I know it's said the same, but I misspelled it the first time."
"Mama. Mama. Mama." He/She/it chanted on, oblivious.
ANOTHER SCENE TRANSITION. BUT I HAVE TO MAKE THIS ONE SHORT BECAUSE I AM RUNNING OUT OF INK.
"Starscream." Bumblebee's lower lip wobbled. " I can no longer love you. Today I receive a fortune cookie, it told me it would never work out. Please take care of Him/her/it."
Streams of tears poured out of Starscream's optics.
"DAMN YOU FORTUNE COOKIE! YOU'VE RUINED MY LIFE!"
Falling to his knee's, he could do nothing but watch as his ex-lover slowly sank beneath the quicksand.
"MY LOVER. YOU SHALL BE AVENGED!"
TO BE CONTINUED...