To a mouse – Robert Burns

The best laid schemes of mice and men

Go often askew,

And leave us nothing but grief and pain,

For promised joy!

Still you are blest, compared with me!

The present only touches you:

But oh! I backward cast my eye,

On prospects dreary!

And forward, though I cannot see,

I guess and fear!

When I chose Burns' poem, to include with the last chapter of Painful Doubts, little did I know how it would truly resemble the season finale. Perhaps, my sixth sense was very in tune with what the outcome would be.

If you're reading this, it's likely you've read one of the others I've written; each a result of disappointment on screen. The end of season six, regrettably, was no exception.

There's been a lot of post season six stories, and this one, may be one too many. But, as I watched the scene of Meredith's miscarriage all I could think of was that for us Mer Der fans, the hopes of a whole and healed Meredith being happy about her pregnancy, which we certainly saw over and over again on previews, were about to be crushed once again…hence the title of this story.

Words fail me in regard to the steep disappointment of season finale. I fail to understand, no matter how eloquently Rhimes may insist, that you have to lose something to know how much you want it, especially when we are talking about a human life; yes, some can argue, it's a fetus, but to me, there is life at conception and with its continued nurturing it will become a human life. I did not have to lose people I love, to death, to know how much I loved them or how significant they were in my life.

It is not a surprise, however, that Rhimes once again had to explain her season finale, through 20 questions and her blog. What a shame we, as viewers, are not given the respect of being semi intelligent beings. After all, how could we possibly interpret from the scenes we saw unfold that Meredith was actually happy about this unexpected baby, unless Shonda explained it to us. Likewise, (note the sarcasm) if her pregnancy had been viable, she certainly would not have known she wanted the baby, she needed to miscarry while standing over a patient, as her husband lay in an operating room, his life seemingly still at stake. Otherwise, Meredith Grey, would not have truly known she wanted their baby.

Buckle up … next season…or the one following it will be angst filled as Rhimes says, "the beginning of the baby story" and sets up additional and dreaded cross-overs, which may not necessarily lead to Meredith and Derek having a baby one day. But whatever happens, don't despair, because we know that in life you can't have it all, so if Meredith gets her happiness, don't be too upset; surely she's going to lose all recollection of it when she gets Alzhemimer's and many will proclaim Rhimes' brilliance that it has all come full circle, and Derek sits by Meredith's side, holding her hand…and lives up to their marriage vows…if she gets Alzheimer's and forgets, he will remind her who he is…every day.

Sorry…for the lack of optimism. Rhimes has effectively made me lose all hope for this couple, at least as it pertains to Grey's. Meredith will continue to be the one to kick, after all, having a childhood filled with parental abandonment, sitting in your mother's pool of blood and all the rest that has happened were not enough for this character…so let's give her a little more to handle…let's see how much more she can take.

I have no faith, at all, that Rhimes or Vernoff will address the miscarriage with any sensitivity, instead it's likely to be one more thing to be swept under the rug, making room for whatever contrived brilliance is thrown our way.

I just wrote the first two paragraphs below. Please, let me know if there's any interest in reading, before I make the effort of continuing to write it. Your feedback greatly appreciated. Warm regards, Jasmin

Obliterated Hopes – Prologue

Sanity's (not Rhimes')voiceover:

Some people believe you have to lose something to appreciate it; they thrive in negativity of old adages that tell us that if you love something set it free and you don't know what you had until you lose it; songs have been written about these things, and as I look back over the years, all I can say is this: what a load of crap.

Sometimes, all it takes is a millisecond's glimpse into the future, where hopes and dreams unexpectedly unfold and you know with unequaled certainty that something quite extraordinary has happened; deep in the depth of your soul you experience the timeless joy shared since the beginning of time when soul mates fated to be together for their lifetime and beyond discover their love, passion and desire for the other has resulted in an amazing tiny miracle. Suddenly, nothing else matters but to find the best way, that very special moment to share the news with the love of your life.