Yume No Shinsou, a kuroshitsuji fanfic

ChibiKit- This is my response to episode 9 of Kuroshitsuji II. If you haven't watched it I suggest you do before reading this or you won't understand.

Disclaimer- Why yes I do own (men in police cars show up) ….um…. Never mind…. I am poor and own nothing… (goes to hide)

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Why did it all seem so… familiar….?

A cold alter, a thousand masked faces, all sneering down at him, wicked smiles on their faces as they laughed at the screaming child, their voices ringing in his ears.

He struggled and fought, yet still they held him down with ease, paying no heed to the hot tears streaming down his face as he cried for help and screamed for freedom, for the mother and father he had lost in those hellish flames.

Why did he feel like he knew this…?

Dirty hands roamed his body and he felt sick, his stomach rolling in disgust and shame, his tiny body shaking with fear and the loss of his pride, of his innocence.

They pinched and pulled and grasped at his flesh and he cried even more, his tears falling from his eyes like rain as he fought fruitlessly, his small arms and legs kicking and flailing about.

But it was no use….

Why did it feel…?

He screamed and screamed and screamed, but no one came for him, no one saved him and the pain just got worse. It felt like he was being ripped in two with each push into his body and just when he thought it was over, when he thought they had finally finished another would step up to take the winded one's place, and it began anew.

No one came to stop the blood as it flowed from between his thighs; no one came to stop the hot iron from pressing into his skin, branding him like an animal, a whore who lies upon the floor for these men, their own person sextoy.

No one came to save the poor broken child he had become.

….like something he had lost….

He stared with horror filled eyes as the knife came down, and he wailed, his voice rattling the structure, and the laughs were back, as was the pain.

This wasn't real….

A crow talked to him as he lie upon the soiled alter, whispering of justice and revenge in a rich voice that sounded like salvation and sin. The crow offered him freedom, offered him its strength and power in exchange for a small token. How could he refuse such an offer, after all, it was just a soul, what use did he have for it where he was going.

The crow offered a lifeline and he grasped the thread handed to him, making his choice.

If he was going to hell, he was going to drag them all down with him.

"Your name shall be Sebastian and you shall become my knight, my sword for revenge, and in exchange I shall give you my soul when my goal is complete."

It couldn't be reality…

Red like fire eyes stared at him, black hair falling around a handsome face, and the devil smiled at him, purring in that silken voice that made him sick with repulsion, and yet made him burn with want.

"Young Master, I told you what to do if I ever disregard my duty, did I not?"

Power surged through his body and he felt like God, the thrill making his blood boil and his heart pound as he was able to take a life with one command, with a small tilt of his head.

How easy it was to be corrupted.

"By the key of the contract my young master holds, I am but his loyal dog. Through sacrifices and wishes I am to abide by the contract and be bound to my master. This in exchange for his soul."

For there was no way….

As blue as the sky, as soft as silk, and as dark as the night, and yet still he could not part with it; for it was the last thing he had of…

"This ring has witnessed the death of its master time and again. My grandfathers, my father, eventually this ring will even observe my death…This ring has heard the final gasps of the family head again and again….If I close my eyes and I can hear it too; that heart-wrenching cry. If I throw it away I may not be able to hear it anymore… That's what I thought…. It's pretty stupid…"

He mind was at ease, but not because of the bed he was lying on but because of the presence of the one beside him... always beside him... never leaving… never straying…

His perfect shadow…

His destined death…

"Sebastian… stay by my side until I fall asleep…"

That soft voice again... whispering along his nerves…

"Oya, Oya. Are you showing me your weak side?"

Of course the other would mock him…. but….

"It was a simple order."

He knew in the end the other would stay.

Just as he always did.

What was this feeling…? This insistent... thing that nagged at him mind, trying to tell him something important... something he should know... something he needed to know….

What was this…?

Unclean, unclean, unclean it kept saying and he wanted to scream, and cry, and strangle someone, and then find the person and make them suffer, make they pay.

Unclean, unclean, unclean it continued to wail and he was back at that place, with those people, a small child unable to fight for himself.

But not anymore….

Not anymore….

It wasn't real…..

It wasn't her… he knew that now as he stared into a young face that looked oh so pitiful and innocent.

But she wasn't… it was her fault!

"Kill Ash…"

"Is that... all?"

But how could he... how could he?

"Kill… The Queen."

"Ciel!"

He felt so dead inside as the words passed his lips and he could almost feel the others joy at such an order.

After all the game was almost over and they were about enter checkmate.

"As you command."

And yet… he still could not do it….

It was just a dream….

He was alone. He had not felt that way in so long. He was no longer there….

Sebastian… Sebastian... Sebastian!

He didn't want to die this way! He wanted to be the soul he wanted! The soul he had fought for! He wanted to be a soul he could be proud of! He wanted to be…!

For how could it not be…?

The city was burning, just like back then. Everything was turning to ash and people were falling left and right, dying where they stood or suffering in the flames, their skin being stripped from their bones by the raging inferno as they screamed and begged for mercy.

Was this Hell….?

"That guy… Kill the angel!"

This had to end. His revenge was so near and it was almost time…

"Yes my lord."

When everything was so clear….

That voice whispering in his ear and he saw blood upon his hand, but that voice... oh that voice…

"Bocchan…I have a favor to ask."

He was staring into soft red eyes, and he was falling all over again…

"Please... close your eyes…"

"Sebastian…."

How could it be real when the truth had come to light…?

That voice was so soft, so sweet in his ear, how could he not obey… even just this once…

"I am a butler. I can't let my master see the form that speaks badly of my reputation. Until I say 'Alright', please close your eyes…."

How could he refuse…?

"I get it."

And he did…..

It was just a dream…..

Clever hands held him and pressed him close while an even more clever tongue made his body squirm and twitch upon the damp sheets of his now unmade bed.

He was being shown all kinds of new things, and he was unable to stop his body from arching and thrashing. He was unable to stop his hands from clenching into the fabric of a once wrinkle-free white shirt. He was unable stop making that sound that made the other chuckle.

"There is no need to be so shy Bocchan… the other servants are out in the gardens... you can scream if you so choose."

And scream he did for everything felt so new, so good, so right.

This couldn't be real... for he was reason they were dead… he had killed them… right…?

"Bocchan... I must ask that you try to relax, it will lessen the pain that way."

"Don't treat me like a child Sebastian I- Ah!"

"What was the young master saying…?"

"Bastard."

Just a stupid dream…. It wasn't real….

He was panting and gasping while he worked himself up and down the large shaft, his head tossing back on every downward slide as that one spot inside his body was struck.

His hands were sticky and sweaty where they lay upon a pale chest that was framed by an open, wrinkled white shirt. Red eyes stared up at him from a handsome face and he moaned, shuddering when talented fingers walked up his bouncing boyhood, spreading the pre-cum that was leaking from the pink head, only to grasp it firmly second later.

He could feel every vein, every twitch, every throb as the hot organ moved deep within his body, spearing his insides, staking its claim within his body. And all he could do way cry out and bounce harder, the bed rocking under their movements while clawed hands gripped his thighs and forced him down harder, making stars erupt behind his closed eyelids.

"Sebastian!"

Just a dream…..

How could he ever look Elizabeth in the eye…? Knowing that even as he smiled at her and took her tiny hand within his as they walked through the gardens that the moment she left he would be in the arms of another, screaming the name of a person who was not her, opening his body up to the attentions of a wicked demon.

"Sebastian… harder…!"

And knowing that even as he looked into her bright green eyes that held so much love and affection for him that his thoughts were focused on the smirking demon who loomed over them, thinking of all the things that tongue could do outside and inside his body.

A dream….

How could he look into her eyes and know that at night, and even some times during the day, that he was swept to his room (or his office, or the bathroom, or that one time in the kitchen with the cream) and made a mess of by the red eyed butler who stood serving her tea. Knowing that those same hands knew his body inside and out like she never would, and that they (and every other part of the demon) made him cry out in ecstasy with every touch they gave and every word that fell from too soft lips.

"Mmm… oh… ohhhhhhh! Fuuuuuuuuck! Sebastian... Sebastian… Sebastian... more!"

Yet he would not stop.

A dream….

Not even for her.

A dream…..

For even at the risk of seeing her cry he would not stop. For it felt too good, and he was too good, and he was already damned so why should he stop such an irresistible pleasure…?

"Sebastian…. Just... a little… more! Almost there!"

"So soon young master...? But we have only just begun."

"Shut up!"

It wasn't real….

"Oh god... oh god!

"Now Bocchan, surely you should not be calling his name while doing this with me of all people"

"Didn't I... ah! Say to…. nghnnnn… shut up… oh fuck Sebastian there!"

Just…..

"Sebastian… Sebastian…Sebastian…."

A…..

"Sebastian, Sebastian, Sebastian, SebastianSebasTIANSEBASTIAN!"

Dream….

"SEBAS-"

"-TIAN!"

Ciel sat up franticly in his bed, mismatched eyes running anxiously around the room, his body shivering heavily, sweat dripping from every pore within his body. He could feel it as it rolled down his temple and soaked the back of his neck, running in sticky lines down his back to land somewhere on the bed.

Across the room the door creaked ever so slightly and his butler walked in with a whisper of movement, his face calm and collected as he took in the scene before him. His master sitting up in his bed, drenched in sweat, shaking from head to toe, chest heaving as if he had been running for hours.

"Bocchan… are you ill?"

"No... I'm fine... it was just a nightmare…" Ciel whispered softly, running a sweaty palm through his hair, musing it heavily before settling back in his bed to try and get back to sleep.

The moon was still out and he knew he had a busy day ahead of him.

"Young master, perhaps I should run you a bath, sleeping in wet clothes is not-"

"No." came the bitter answer and his butler fell silent, watching from where he stood. "It's fine. I'll take one tomorrow."

A soft bow, a slight tilt of the head.

"As you wish."

Ciel lay back on his side, turning his back to his butler and drawing the covers up to his chin, his mismatched eyes closing slowly, trying to will his still anxious body to relax so he could fall back asleep.

He heard the other begin to leave and he tensed, his hands tightening into the covers that surrounded him, gripping them between his small pale fingers like a lifeline.

"Stay with me until I fall asleep…. It's an order."

He knew the other was bowing without even having to look behind him to confirm it.

"Yes... Your Highness."

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